I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

"Commander! Calm down! Please calm down!"

"Let me go! I'm gonna punch that blind idiot in the face!"

Itsuka Kotori was furious.

Her glorious, magnificent airship Fraxinus—her Fraxinus—had just been brushed off with a dismissive "It's average."

Average?

Do you even know what an airship is, you tasteless brute?!

Held tightly in Murasame Reine's arms, Kotori kicked her little legs like a furious child throwing a tantrum.

The rest of the Fraxinus crew surrounded her in a panic, doing their best to talk her down before she did anything reckless.

After all, Kotori had zero chance of winning in a real fight. Not even a sliver of one.

What's more, they'd just barely gotten Melusine to agree to stay in the Spirit Apartments under their "supervision." The last thing they wanted was to piss her off.

On paper, it looked like Kotori and her team were the ones keeping Melusine under control—but in practice? She was the one holding all the cards. If anyone had the power to flip the table, it was her.

Watching Kotori flail and shout, Melusine spoke up, voice cool and calm.

"I do not advise attacking me."

"Huh? What, are you scared? If you're scared, then take back that insult!"

Melusine tilted her head, genuinely puzzled.

"I do not understand what you mean. I was merely stating the truth... You're too weak. I'm concerned you'll get hurt."

Her words echoed through the room.

Oh no.

Please, we beg you—stop provoking the Commander!

Kotori suddenly froze in Reine's arms. Her mouth hung half open in disbelief—and then her signature twin tails, usually tied with bright red ribbons, flared up like tongues of fire.

"Did you just call me WEAK?!"

You insulted Fraxinus. And now you insult me?!

"Commander! Please, Commander, just calm down! 'Endure and the storm will pass'—"

"Endure your ass! Any more of this and I'll turn into a damn Ninja Turtle! I'M GONNA BLOW HER UP—!!"

And it might not even be a figure of speech. Scarlet sparks had already begun to crackle around Kotori's body.

A full spiritual backlash was underway—proof of just how furious she was.

While others rushed to contain Kotori's rising power, Shidou took it upon himself to talk to Melusine.

"Hey, maybe stop saying things that rile her up, Lancelot?"

"But I didn't mean to upset her," Melusine replied, frowning in confusion. "I was simply stating facts. Unless... is Kotori the kind who flies into a rage whenever someone tells her the truth? Like Baghest? How troublesome... You have my sympathies, Shidou."

"Er... I wouldn't say that..."

Two beads of sweat trickled down Shidou's forehead as he glanced nervously behind Melusine—where Kotori was now fighting off multiple crew members, eyes ablaze, trying to break free.

Melusine hadn't lowered her voice. Naturally, Kotori heard every single word.

If Shidou had dared to nod in agreement just now, those weren't going to be metaphorical flames in Kotori's eyes. They were going to be on her fists.

Go ahead, Kotori—use your Flame Punch on your dear brother.

The truth was, Melusine genuinely did think Fraxinus was unimpressive. After seeing the Storm Border—equipped with holy sword-class armaments and shields capable of withstanding Divine Construct-tier attacks—Fraxinus was, frankly, forgettable.

The kicker? Chaldea's Storm Border had survived battles against Flame Disaster Albion and even Grand Servant-class threats like ORT. It still wasn't fully destroyed.

Even Melusine had admitted: the Storm Border was an exceptional ship. Good enough to serve as her own mothership.

Sure, it had been partially sliced in half during the fight between U-Olga Marie and Kukulkan... but could you blame it? That battle was off the charts.

Fraxinus, by comparison, had flown into space—but that was in the future. And space in the Nasuverse was a very different beast: ORT, Crimson Moon, Enlightened Ones, Yog-Sothoth… total madhouse.

Glancing at the seething Kotori, Melusine turned to Shidou with a curious expression.

"Kotori seems close to reverting into a Spirit. Will you need to seal her again? With a kiss?"

"H-Huh?!"

Shidou froze, face flushing slightly. "N-No, the seal's still in place. Once she calms down, the spiritual backlash will fade on its own... Or at least, that's what they told me."

"Is that so? Fascinating... Your ability really is something."

She gave him a meaningful glance before turning her gaze away, speaking with the same mild tone.

"I was thinking—if sealing her again was necessary, I could help render Kotori powerless. Since all you need is affection and a kiss, and Kotori already likes you enough, all that's left is to keep her still. I could save you the trouble."

And how would I make her powerless, you ask? Simple. Just press her head to the ground three times. If that doesn't work, try a few more.

"Uh… really, there's no need to go that far..."

Shidou didn't know exactly what Melusine had in mind, but his instincts screamed it wasn't something he'd want to find out.

"Hm?"

Melusine suddenly looked "shocked."

"Don't tell me... you want to go on a date with Kotori? You'd even make a move on your own sister?"

"Ha?! No! Absolutely not!"

"...Just kidding."

"..."

That's not funny!

Shidou was seriously starting to wonder if Melusine could tell the difference between a joke and a serious statement. Her tone never changed—calm, flat, and eerily unreadable.

After a pause, Melusine tapped her chin in thought.

"Should I apologize?"

"Huh?"

Shidou looked at her, puzzled.

"Kotori's clearly upset because of me. I must've said something wrong... Even if I believe everything I said was true, Master once told me, 'The truth can be even harder to accept than lies'... Humans really are complicated creatures."

She didn't get it, but she respected it. That was probably the best way to describe Melusine's attitude.

"Since Master is human, I want to try understanding how humans think, too... But actually trying it has proven far more difficult than I imagined."

She looked genuinely troubled, then turned to Shidou again.

"If I were to apologize, what should I do? Give her a lollipop? She seemed to like those."

"Uhh… maybe try something else. That might just make things worse."

If Lancelot tries to "apologize" by feeding Kotori a lollipop... would Kotori even take it as an apology? More like a challenge.

That was Shidou's main concern.

...

"Now then. Enough wasting time—let's get to the main topic."

Sitting on the command chair with as much attitude as she could muster, Kotori shot Melusine a glare while furiously crunching her lollipop.

Thanks to the crew's collective efforts, she'd finally calmed down a little.

Ugh. How immature. I let her provoke me and totally lost my composure...

Kotori shot another glare at Melusine and grumbled aloud, "But that doesn't mean I'm letting you off! I'll remember this, and one day, you will pay for what you said today!"

Melusine blinked, golden eyes wide. "...Oh."

"..."

Damn it! She's pissing me off again!

Crunch. The lollipop shattered in her mouth. Kotori scanned the room and locked eyes on her Vice Commander.

"Kannazuki! Go dig up potatoes in Siberia!"

"Huh? Why?!"

Kannazuki Kyouhei looked genuinely baffled.

He didn't mind going to Siberia to dig potatoes. Hell, it was better than the time she sent him to Antarctica to mine lava. But this time he hadn't done anything.

Is watching a fight from too close now a crime?

"Because you stepped in with your left foot first! Quit asking questions and go! Or are you saying my orders don't matter anymore?!"

And with that, Kotori socked him in the gut with a perfectly aimed kidney punch, sending him collapsing to his knees.

Still trembling from the blow, Kannazuki lifted his head with a blissful expression. "Thank you, Commander."

Two muscular men promptly carried him away.

Everyone could tell: Kotori was just venting. But no one was dumb enough to call her out on it.

Their boss was in that kind of mood—who'd be stupid enough to step in now?

The job paid well, sure. Good benefits, solid bonuses. But still—not worth dying over.