I Married a Sick Husband

How should she answer this question? For a moment, Meredith froze, unable to understand. She didn’t know why he was asking that question. “What do you mean?” So she asked honestly… “….” There was no answer. ‘… What?’ Meredith became more confused. ‘Do you really want to live single?’ Meredith’s thoughts changed significantly. ‘… Maybe you are not interested in the opposite sex.’ Or maybe…? “Your Majesty.” Meredith said to Theodore with a dark look on her face. “I beg you, but a man cannot be empress.” “… What?” “That’s how it’s stated in the imperial law. No emperor can go against the precepts laid down by the first emperor.” “What on earth are you talking about…?” “Your Majesty….” Meredith said, still looking serious. “I wonder if you are interested in sodomy…” “….” Theodore looked at Meredith with a very puzzled look on his face. And then Meredith recognized the meaning of that expression. ‘You seem embarrassed about being caught.’ Meredith hurriedly opened her mouth. “You don’t have to worry. I will definitely keep your secret.” “… No, Empress. I think you’re saying something really extraordinary right now.” “Of course it is. But I respect Your Majesty’s taste.” “… No, I think you completely misunderstood something.” “Yes? What are you saying…” “I have no interest in sodomy.” “… Yes?” “I like women. Sincerely.” “But you made it sound like you didn’t really want to have a new empress.” “That…” “Do you want to remain celibate?” “No, it’s not.” Why did you think like that? Theodore was equally embarrassed. “I mean, so…” Theodore calmed his panicked mind for a moment and then spoke. “Is there really a need to bring in a new empress? It’s just a hassle.” “… Yes?” But that means… “Do you want me to continue… …to live as Your Majesty’s Empress?” “… You don’t like it?” “No, Your Majesty. Now this….” Meredith asked, still sounding confused. “Isn’t it not a matter of my likes and dislikes…?” It was a matter of his life. Meredith wondered why he was asking that question. “I hope Your Majesty marries the woman you love and becomes happy.” “… Why?” “That…” As he kept asking the obvious, Meredith became embarrassed. “I don’t think I would feel good seeing Your Majesty unhappy.” “…..” “And as I said at the beginning, if the Schwartz family falls, I won’t be able to stand by Your Majesty’s side anyway.” “Why?” “… Your Majesty, are you asking because you really don’t know?” Meredith asked back, narrowing her brows. “If you said that because you can’t find someone you love, then it would be better for you to have a woman from a prestigious family as your empress. She is not the illegitimate child of a fallen family.” “… You want me to be happy.” “But you can’t force someone you love. If there is no such person….” “Someone who wants me to be happy.” Theodore interrupted her and looked at her. “I don’t think it would be unhappy to live with someone like that.” “….” “I think it would be best to just sleep. I have a meeting early in the morning.” Him ending the conversation one-sidedly, made it difficult for Meredith to say anything further. “….” In the end, she had no choice but to lie down. She was looking at the ceiling as usual. “… I don’t want to be a nuisance to Your Majesty.” Hearing that after some time had passed, Theodore turned to the side. Meredith had her eyes closed. “It would be okay for our marriage to continue like this. If you feel that way, I understand.” “….” “But at some point I will no longer be of any help to you, Your Majesty. This will be especially true once the purge is completed.” Meredith knew her situation well. Whether it was because of his annoyance or his inconvenience, it was never a good decision to keep the illegitimate child of her fallen family as empress. Therefore, when he says something that he throws out without much thought, she will not have any expectations or hopes. Anyway, she will have to deal with the hurt herself. “If there is no one you specifically want, please welcome an empress who will help Your Majesty to stabilise the imperial power after the purge.” Meredith said calmly. “Someone who is kinder and more beautiful than me.” As she said that, her mouth became strangely bitter. … It seemed to have slowed down. ‘… You don’t have to feel that way, Meredith.’ Stupid. Did I have some kind of expectation without even realising it? Meredith pursed her lips. “….” At the same time, Theodore continued to think over what Meredith said. ‘It’s an easy marriage…’ The question of whether a new empress was absolutely necessary was clearly impulsive. He believed so. ‘But no matter how impulsive he was…’ Even he didn’t know why he asked that question. ‘Maybe the Empress is right.’ Bringing in a new empress is a hassle. She said he should marry the woman he loved and live happily ever after, but… ‘Is that possible?’ The feeling of love was so unfamiliar to him. ‘I should have received something called love.’ … Oh, of course I have. But when he thought about it, he didn’t know if it was really love. ‘Even if it was love, it was essentially a bad thing.’ How can someone who has never been loved feel something called love? He can’t do what he doesn’t know. He firmly believed that it was so. Some may see it as cynical, but it was because the object of it was love. Maybe that’s why he reacted more cynically. ‘So, if you can’t love someone, it’s true that you want a normal married life.’ But isn’t that everyone’s wish? Not just that. ‘… Yes, that’s why I asked you that question.’ After thinking about it once, he felt like his doubts were resolved. ‘You’re a good woman.’ Beautiful, wise, capable. Above all, a woman who wants his happiness. She said to appoint a nicer and more beautiful woman than herself as the new empress, but… ‘Is there such a woman?’ He thought about it carefully, but he couldn’t come up with an answer. At least, among the ladies he knew, there was no such woman. Just looking at the external aspect, wouldn’t it be difficult to think of a more beautiful woman than Meredith? ‘Of course, I understand the empress’ concerns.’ It was a reasonable statement. An illegitimate empress from a fallen family would not benefit him politically. ‘But an empress from an overly powerful background is a threat to imperial power.’ He may see her maternal relatives rise to prominence. If Meredith continues to be Empress, he won’t have to worry about that. ‘Then doesn’t she perfectly meet the conditions of an ideal empress that I think of?’ After finishing his thoughts, Theodore turned to tell Meredith his conclusion. ‘… This.’ But she had already fallen asleep a long time ago. Perhaps, it was the result of forcing herself to sleep in shock at the thought of his questions. “…..” There was no way, Theodore could not have known this. He just stared at the sleeping figure of Meredith. He carefully fiddled with his hand connected to Meredith. “… I need you.” The voice reciting was quiet but clear. “I need you now, and I will also need you in the future.” “…..” “I’ll need you. I’m sure.” He didn’t think there’s a woman he can trust more than her. Now, and in the future. Maybe forever. He was already thinking that. No matter who I put next to me, I don’t think I’ll ever be more in love with them than Meredith.   *** Kofi donated by HeathBar (5/5)