I Married the Dragon I Killed

Episode 11. Just Feel It Again

There’s a story about blind men and an elephant.

To sum it up, three blind men were asked to touch different parts of an elephant and describe what it was. Of course, all of their answers were different.

The moral of the story is that you can’t judge the whole based on just a part.

However, there are times when something is so clear and obvious that just seeing a part of it is enough to grasp the whole.

For Ferda, that moment came when he saw Valdrova’s beauty.

What he could see was only her chin and lips.

Her porcelain-like, clean, and flawless jawline stole Ferda’s gaze.

Above it, her lips, as red and glossy as an apple kissed by morning dew, shimmered enticingly.

Just from seeing her lower face, Ferda could tell.

The person destined to be his partner was a woman.

And not just any woman—but one of unparalleled beauty, someone unlike anyone he had ever seen before.

As this realization seeped into him, Ferda didn’t even know what emotions he was feeling.
Because of that, he just stood there, quietly staring at her lips.

Valdrova took a sip of the engagement wine, letting it flow between her lips.

The liquid slipped through the narrow gap and slowly disappeared, leaving the glass empty.

At that moment, Ferda felt a strange sensation within himself.

The deep-seated fear of dragons that had been etched into his very being was beginning to fade.

“Mortals shall overcome the unknown, wash away their fears, and become one.”

It was exactly as Ruri had said.

The primal fear he had of dragons was disappearing.

*‘They really went to great lengths to prepare for ordinary humans like us.’*

The whole point of this engagement ceremony was to allow both sides to truly face each other.
And because of this, Ferda could feel it once more—the expectations she had harbored, the pain she had endured as those hopes were crushed.

As Ferda looked at her softly, the helmet shaped like a dragon’s head subtly shifted toward him.

Its eye holes glanced briefly in his direction before quickly turning away.

*‘Guess I stared too much.’*

Ferda turned his head away and stood still.

—

“Next, the vows to one another will be read.”

Ruri, her face practically screaming how much she disliked the situation, handed the baton to Ferda.

Valdrova, with her head lowered, quietly waited.

Ferda exhaled slowly, turning the vibrations of his vocal cords into a clear voice.

“You don’t know much about me.”

It had taken Ferda an entire day to come up with this sentence.

That’s how hard it had been for him to figure out the first words to express his feelings.

“But I know you.”

And the words that followed were:

“You gave me your heart. Through your heart, I caught glimpses of you and learned about you.”

His vow was a sincere confession of everything he wanted to express to her.

“I saw how you were betrayed countless times, how you were slandered and hated by so many.”

*Clink.*

With every sentence Ferda recited, the armor seemed to flinch.

“But you fulfilled your duties with dignity. You never turned your back on what you wanted to love, and you loved to the end. That nobility of yours set me right.”

Ferda believed this was the best choice he could make.

“So I stand here to make my vow. Just as you gave me your heart, I will now offer mine to you. My king, my everything.”

That was the end of Ferda’s vow.

—

“This part wasn’t written in the vows, but…”

But Ferda’s words weren’t finished yet.

He lifted his head and looked at Valdrova.

The dragon helmet’s eyes met his briefly before she lowered her head deeply.

*Clink-clink.*

The armory figure clasped her hands politely, her fingers fidgeting slightly.

“I am truly honored to be engaged to someone as beautiful as you.”

The steel helmet shook violently.

Ruri stared at Ferda with a blank expression.

However, her hands and feet were curling so hard that they might as well have been twisted into knots.

“Now, the bride-to-be will read her vows.”

Ruri’s sentence was cut off.

Valdrova had raised her hand, gesturing for them to stop.

“What’s wrong?”

—…

Valdrova didn’t answer.

Instead, she simply turned around and began walking away.

It seemed like she was preparing something, so they quietly watched her actions.

Valdrova returned to her lair.

*Boom.*

And shut the door behind her.

“…”

“…”

She left without reading her vows.

Now Ferda and Ruri just stared at the tightly closed door.

“…The engagement ceremony is complete.”

The ceremony was concluded just like that.

Even though Valdrova hadn’t read her vows, everything necessary for the engagement had been done, so there was no need to dwell on it.

“Well then, let’s head back.”

Ruri called out to Ferda.

But no answer came.

Still standing there, Ferda was silently staring at the iron door with a serious look on his face, as though lost in thought.

“Ferda?”

Ruri called to him again.

Finally, as though breaking free from some kind of trance, Ferda opened his mouth to speak.

“Sorry, but… could I go into seclusion for three days?”

“Seclusion? As in?”

“Literally. I won’t eat or drink, just spend time alone. I ask that you don’t interfere.”

A declaration that he would shut himself in and abstain from eating or drinking.

To Ruri, it sounded like this:
*‘The shock must’ve hit him pretty hard.’*

The vows were supposed to be an exchange.
But since he had ended up reciting his alone while the other party walked away into a steel door, it was only natural for Ferda to feel embarrassed.

“Understood.”

A crescent-moon smile lingered on Ruri’s lips, refusing to disappear.

—

“You truly are remarkable, my lord. With this, the initiative is entirely yours.”

Ruri entered Valdrova’s lair, clapping her hands as if to congratulate her.

Valdrova had returned to her dragon form.

Curled up with her head tucked under her wing, she was hiding her face.

Though Valdrova had continuously botched the engagement ceremony, her decisive actions held great meaning for Ruri.

“I never expected such a tactic. A one-sided hit-and-run of all things.”

…

“Making him read such toe-curling words out loud and humiliating him, only to leave abruptly? You’ve completely thrown him off his game.”

…

“…But it seems that wasn’t your intention after all.”

Ruri’s delighted expression gradually faded as Valdrova remained silent.

Finally, Valdrova raised her head from under her wing.

“I… wanted to read my vows too. As someone accepting a partner.”

“I see.”

Ruri averted her gaze to avoid looking directly at her.

Valdrova had clearly put a lot of effort into preparing for this moment.

Ruri knew just how many pages Ferda had crumpled and thrown away while drafting his vow.

*‘Ten sheets, wasn’t it?’*

And what he had finally completed was a single page.

Not too much, not too little—just the right amount.

But Valdrova’s vow was…

*‘Twenty pages.’*

Not just twenty pages, but each one written densely on both sides.

The amount of paper sacrificed in the process could fill over three books.

It was a pure, almost girlish sentiment that was utterly unbecoming of someone with her infamous reputation as the Dread Sovereign.

If anyone other than her fiancé saw it, they would have been ashamed.

But Ruri had been Valdrova’s servant for hundreds of years.

To her, this was something to just sigh and move on from.

“You were so excited, so why didn’t you read it when the time came?”

“That’s…”

Valdrova’s lips quivered.

“I… couldn’t look at him.”

Ruri tilted her head, confused.

**”What do you mean you couldn’t look at him?”**

“I mean, I couldn’t bring myself to face those eyes… or have a conversation with him while looking at them.”

The words were spoken in a shy, girlish tone, despite coming from the mouth of a fierce dragon.

“That gray hair, those sharp eyes that seemed to pierce right through me, and that soft voice…”

“…”

“I couldn’t stop looking, and then… my mind just went blank. I couldn’t do anything.”

“…My mind’s about to go blank too,” Ruri muttered, almost wishing her eardrums would burst so she could be spared.

“Anyway.”

Sensing she was on the verge of snapping, Ruri swiftly changed the subject.

“From now on, your fiancé will begin acting as the master of the household. He’ll manage this fortress and the territories under it.”

“I already know that, of course.”

“And once humans gain power, they start to change.”
…

At the mention of power, Valdrova, who had been momentarily excited, quieted down.

The memory of the Third Prince—the one she had killed with her own hands—still haunted her.

It might’ve happened decades ago, but to a being who had lived through eternity, it felt like yesterday.

“That’s how mortals live, flowing with time. You should always be prepared to be disappointed by them, my lord, my great ruler.”

“…I understand.”

Valdrova’s gaze wandered far off, her thoughts drifting.

The pure-hearted girl who had been awestruck by humans was once again retreating into her immortal self.

Ruri didn’t particularly enjoy pouring cold water on what should’ve been a celebratory day.

*‘But it’s necessary.’*

Even a war hero walking triumphantly through an arch of victory must remember that they are only humans.

Likewise, Valdrova needed to know that the things she cherished and loved would inevitably change or disappear someday.

This was the best advice Ruri, as her loyal servant and Dragon Spawn, could offer.

—

After the engagement ceremony ended, Ferda immediately went into seclusion.

Unlike Ruri, who assumed he was locking himself away out of embarrassment and shock, Ferda simply needed some time alone.

*‘This feeling I had while looking at her.’*

When Ferda was writing his vow, he had just written what came to mind.
But when he spoke the words aloud, something buried deep within him began to rise to the surface.

So much so that he even added an unscripted ending to his vow.

*‘Why did I do that?’*

Ferda knew why.

He knew that saying something like that would catch her off guard.

He knew it might even ruin the ceremony.

*‘But I had to say it.’*

It was a compulsion, something beyond reason.

He had been struck by an overwhelming urge, a feeling that if he didn’t say it now, it would be too late.
So he let that impulse take control.

The result? Valdrova had been caught off guard; the ceremony didn’t go as planned, and Ferda was left wondering why.

With that lingering question, he closed his eyes.

He began to reflect on everything—what he had seen and felt—replaying those moments over and over again.

Ferda didn’t allow himself to jump to conclusions, carefully reexamining everything countless times.

And finally, he arrived at an answer.

*‘It was that moment.’*

When she had briefly tilted her head back to drink the engagement wine, Ferda had been completely mesmerized.

That feeling had turned him into someone he didn’t recognize.

No longer the Archmage Ferda, but simply a man—Ferda.

*‘But what should I call this?’*

To figure that out, Ferda replayed that peak moment again and again, focusing on the emotions it stirred within him.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt something stirring deep inside him.

From the magical circle in his lower abdomen, he could feel a rough spinning sensation.

The energy swirling within it grew stronger and stronger, making his chest burn with heat.

*‘The Red Circle is moving.’*

The power surged like a raging torrent, fierce enough to overwhelm him.

*‘This is dangerous…’*

Instead of trying to figure out the answer to his question, Ferda focused on his senses.

He had two choices:

One, suppress the Red Circle by distracting himself.

Or two, dive deeper into the emotion and intensify its movement.

*‘Suppressing it would be the safer option.’*

Intensifying it would be like putting a blade to his own throat—a reckless gamble.

Even as an archmage, Ferda wasn’t immune to the risks.

*‘But to match the dignity of Valdrova, the Sovereign of the Void…’*

He had no choice but to take the risk.

This was the resolve he had made the moment he stepped into Valdrova’s territory.

*‘Let’s do this.’*

Ferda directed all his focus to a single point.

Creating a second circle was similar to creating the first one.

But unlike the vague uncertainty that came with making the first circle, this time he knew what to do, making the process easier.

*‘The only problem is that I don’t have enough mana to build it up.’*

Breaking through to a new circle was like hatching from an egg.

To enter a new world, you had to break through the shell yourself.

And to do that, you needed a strong beak and sheer force—the mana and mental strength to make it happen.

Ferda had both of those in abundance.

*‘First, focus…’*

He closed his eyes and adjusted his posture.

He let his consciousness drop deep into his core.

As he did, his senses began to dull—the sound of his heartbeat, the flow of time on his skin—all of it faded away.

Finally, nothing could disturb him.

The only thing left was his consciousness.

In his mind, Ferda drew a line.

This line served as a guide, and the swirling mana began to follow it naturally.

He carefully directed the mana without disrupting its flow, gently guiding it to a new place.

The small stream carved out from the great river grew larger and larger until it formed a new circle.

*’Now layer it over.’*

He created a second circle to encase the first one, slowly shaping it into a distinct form.

It took him 48 hours of uninterrupted concentration to complete the process.

Now, two circles spun within Ferda’s core.

He had become a 2nd Circle Mage—a Spell Blower.

“Hmm…”

Even though he had achieved 2nd Circle Mage status in just a few days, Ferda wasn’t entirely satisfied.

*‘The emotion has faded.’*

With his new path opened and his second circle complete, the intense feelings he had been grappling with had settled down.

That once-ticklish emotion had become a part of him, and the excitement he felt recalling those memories was now gone.

*‘That’s the drawback of the Red Circle.’*

You’re always chasing a bigger thrill, and when the thrill fades, you stagnate.

It’s a vicious cycle where you either become consumed by your emotions or end up with nothing at all.

*‘But it’s fine. I can just feel it again.’*

Although he hadn’t found the exact answer he was looking for, he wasn’t impatient.

The moment he faced her again, he knew those emotions would well up once more.

He was certain of it.

Ferda smiled.

—

“When you said you were going to shut yourself away, I had my suspicions… But you’ve reached the 2nd Circle already?”

“That’s right.”

A mage who reached the 2nd Circle in just three days.

Ferda had been here for barely a month, and he had gone from an ordinary person to a 2nd Circle Mage in no time.

*‘This rate of growth is insane.’*

Even though he was only at the 2nd Circle, his rapid progress was astonishing.

“So, is this where I’ll be working from now on?”

“Yes. Though it’s only a temporary position, you’ll have full authority here.”

Ferda and Ruri were standing in Valdrova’s office.

The room, decorated with dark oak wood, was perfectly optimized for managing the affairs of a ruler while exuding a sense of power and majesty.

The atmosphere was so commanding that when Ferda stepped in, for a moment, he felt like a king should be sitting there.

Taking in the room, Ferda asked Ruri, “So now that I’m officially her fiancé, what do I do next?”

“As I mentioned before, your first task is recruiting talented people. Since the Sovereign will be taking a more active role, we need to fill her court with capable individuals.”

“Yeah, I remember. But can I decide that on my own?”

“Of course not,” Ruri replied, holding up an item from the table.

“But you can use this.”

It was Valdrova’s royal seal.

The seal carried her authority as if it were her own presence.

There’s a reason people say to treat a royal seal as though you’re treating the king themselves.

“Recruiting talent, huh?”

For most people, if asked to select someone on the spot, they’d request some time to think it over—at least a couple of days.

But Ferda’s pen moved without hesitation.