I Married the Dragon I Killed

Chapter 17: Peeking at the Shame of a God

The steward asked in surprise,
“What? Are you saying you’ll take her in, my lord?”

“Think about it. If what you’re saying is true, this kid can’t even do simple tasks properly and will keep being like this. Then you’ll have to keep cleaning up after her, won’t you? Am I wrong?”

“…”

The steward pouted slightly.

She already *was* cleaning up after the girl, and the thought of this continuing in the future made irritation rise within her.

“You have the authority to command this child, don’t you?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“If you have that kind of authority, you also have the power to tell her to leave this house.”

“Hmm… But she’s still someone I care about.”

“You *say* she’s someone you care about. But think about it.”

Ferda began coaxing the steward.

“A jewel, the more it shines, the easier it is to see its flaws. If you think about the long term, who do you think will suffer? Your master is now basking in the glory of being called a ‘sage.’ Don’t you think it’s a loyal steward’s duty to address and cover up your master’s flaws?”

“…”

The steward’s expression shifted.

She started to feel like Ferda’s argument oddly made sense.

Just the fact that she was hesitating showed that she was already leaning toward Ferda’s side.

Ferda decided to deliver the final blow.

“I’ll help you make that decision easier.”

Ferda pulled out three gold coins and placed them in the steward’s hand.

“Oh, oh my! Oh my goodness…!!”

The steward’s eyes widened in shock.

*Three whole gold coins.*

For a commoner, even if they worked the fields their entire life, it was hard to ever lay hands on even a single gold coin.

And now she was being handed *three*.

The steward couldn’t help but be tempted.

‘Yes, to cover up my master’s flaws, I have to get rid of a useless brat like her…!’

The steward cleared her throat and began rubbing her hands together obsequiously.

“Ah, my lord, what should I do?”

“It’s simple. Every word has power. You just need to give her an order. Tell her to abandon her name, starting now.”

“Ah, understood! Hey, kid! Put that down and come here!”

The girl stood up from where she was and walked over to the steward.

“Now, you little wretch, listen closely from now on.”

The girl nodded at the steward’s words.

“From this moment on, you’re going to abandon your name. And from now on, this man here will be your master. So you’re going to follow him, got it?”

The girl’s gaze slowly shifted upward to look at Ferda.

Her hollow, unfocused eyes seemed to ask him a question.

Ferda looked into those eyes and asked,

“Do you acknowledge me as your master?”

At Ferda’s question, the girl answered.

She nodded.

“Good. That settles it.”

Ferda turned his head and looked at the middle-aged steward.

The steward was fully absorbed in fiddling with the gold coins in her hands.

“Now that it’s done, I’ll let you in on an amusing little fact.”

“An amusing… fact?”

Having gotten what she wanted, it was now time to reveal the truth.

“Why do you think your master, who’s so fond of this girl, keeps her around even though she’s as dull as a rock?”

“Well… Because she’s nice to look at…”

“No. Your master, Helrus Povidas, likes women with big breasts. He also likes women who giggle and fawn over his shallow jokes. The man is riddled with insecurities. He’s the type who doesn’t want to deal with smart women because he knows he can’t beat them. Sure, she may be decent-looking, but there’s no reason for him to keep a wooden doll of a servant like her around.”

The middle-aged steward’s expression began to harden.

She couldn’t understand why this conversation was taking such a turn, but the implication seemed to be screaming that she’d made a terrible mistake.

“What if I told you that this girl is the source of your master’s so-called ‘insight’?”

“What do you mean? How could a dimwit like her…?”

Confusion filled the steward’s eyes.

It finally dawned on her.

She hadn’t been perceptive and had acted purely out of greed.

And now, she realized she’d fallen into a trap.

With trembling hands, she held out the three gold coins again.

“L-let me take it back. I’ll give the money back, so just take the girl back—”

“No. I don’t need it. And even if you return it, you won’t leave this place alive.”

“W-why not?”

“You’ve already understood the words I’ve spoken, haven’t you? What you’ve just heard is the same as peeking at the shame of a god. I hope you can comprehend that.”

There was no other option.

Anyone who peeks at the shame of a god must die.

The steward’s face turned deathly pale.

“I’m telling you this as an act of mercy. Take that money and run as far as you can. That’s the only advice I can give you.”

Ferda spoke coldly, just as usual.

“The moment your master catches you, you’ll disappear without a trace.”

—

“Do you believe humans can suddenly attain enlightenment?”

Ferda asked Ruri.

Ruri responded,
“Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“Humans think they live by accumulating knowledge over time, but I believe they’ve survived because there’s a spark that can’t be achieved by mere accumulation of knowledge.”

It was an opinion fitting for the servant of an immortal.

“You’re partly right. But you’re also partly wrong.”

“Which part is wrong?”

“They say you can’t dig a well in a place without groundwater, no matter how long you dig. No matter how enlightened someone becomes, wisdom that doesn’t exist can’t suddenly appear.”

Ferda glanced down at a name on a list.

**Helrus Povidas.**

“The same goes for this man.”

“Are you saying… the Water Sage is nothing but a puppet…?”

Ruri shifted her gaze.

Standing nearby was the blond-haired girl, about her height, bowing demurely.

Her unfocused eyes gave her a vacant expression, one that invited others to call her a fool.

“Are you saying this clueless little girl is the source of it all?”

Ferda tugged lightly at an imaginary leash and replied,

“Have you heard of a *Slave Sage*?”

Humanity stores and compresses knowledge to learn from the past and pave the way for the future.

In Ferda’s world, where personal experience meant little, people called it that.

Predicting the unpredictable.
Controlling the uncontrollable.

That’s the essence of those who seek knowledge, each finding their own path to it:
Combining pieces of knowledge to draw new conclusions.
Discovering lost technologies through exploration.
Pleading with gods for answers.
Or stepping into forbidden realms.

‘Among all of those, the most effective is stepping into the forbidden.’

Peeking at the shame of a god.

Not smiling at a god, nor kissing one, but peeking at its shame.

The girl Ferda had taken in was someone who had stepped into such a forbidden realm.

Possessing wisdom that could shake the world required an enormous price, and that price was, ironically, quite simple.

‘Who am I?’

The ability to ask that question was lost.

A deceptively simple yet profoundly essential question.

Knowing who you are connects to why you live, and why you live dictates how you act.
But simultaneously, losing the ability to ask that question allowed one to survive.

Unable to act on their own, unable to think for themselves, they become the ultimate vessel of knowledge and wisdom.

The ultimate tool.

“That’s how a Slave Sage is born.”

“To trade oneself for power… what an utterly foolish choice.”

“Yes, it’s an utterly foolish choice.”

Ferda muttered bitterly.

Ruri couldn’t understand why he wore such an expression.

“So, what kind of forbidden knowledge could possibly warrant this?”

“It’s simple.”

Ferda lightly tapped the girl’s head.

“The Universal Library.”

“The Universal Library?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that this tiny little head holds more books than the entire collection of Escollaya?”

“…”

Ruri glanced at the girl.

There wasn’t even the faintest trace of magic in her, nor any ominous aura—just an ordinary girl.

If she had passed her on the street, she might have dismissed her as a dimwit, someone you wouldn’t even spare a second glance.

More books than the Universal Library, the supposed collection of all human knowledge?

It was hard to believe, but she didn’t argue.

After all, this was Ferda’s choice, and therefore Ferda’s responsibility.

“Look at me,” Ferda instructed the girl.

The girl’s hollow eyes turned toward Ferda.

“Before I grant you your name, I’m going to give you your highest-priority command,” Ferda said, enunciating every word carefully, almost like a chant.

“This command will become your breath, your heartbeat, and an unchanging truth in your life.”

The girl nodded.

Ferda continued, his voice calm but firm, as though casting a spell:
“The ruler of great power, the Red Dragon, Grand Duke Valdrova, will be your beginning and your end. You will devote your entire life to him.”

The girl nodded again.

“I, Ferda Valdrova, as the representative of Grand Duke Valdrova, will hold authority to command you.”

Another nod.

“However, if I take actions that go against the beliefs or principles of Grand Duke Valdrova, you may challenge me. And if you cannot reconcile it…”

Ferda paused briefly, then spoke once more.

“As a last resort, you are permitted to rebel against me. Do you understand all of this?”

The girl nodded once more.

“Good. From this moment forward, your name is Mori.”

The girl had been given the name Mori.

For the first time, the emptiness in her eyes seemed to fade, replaced by a faint spark of life.

—

“You’ve managed to recruit everyone except for Marquis Bernell,” Ruri said in the study of Valdrova Castle.

“He’ll come around soon enough,” Ferda replied.

“Are you sure about that?”

“If he doesn’t, then I’ll just let him go,” Ferda said nonchalantly.

There was no obsession, no desperation in his tone.

It wasn’t the voice of someone who *had* to have something.

It was more like the flow of time, letting relationships run their course naturally.

‘Just like the immortals,’ Ruri thought to herself.

Even she, who could usually distinguish such subtleties, found herself momentarily confused.

Ruri looked down at the paper in front of her, where four names were listed, each with a line drawn beneath it.

“So, is this it for now? Just these four?”

Ferda shook his head.

“There’s one more.”

“Who is it?”

Ferda picked up a pen and wrote down the name of the person he had in mind.

**- Ruri Valdrova.**

“It’s you,” Ferda said plainly.

Ruri’s expression twisted with genuine disgust.

“I have no intention of joining your side. Don’t delude yourself just because we’ve gotten a little closer.”

Ferda wasn’t fazed by her response.

“It’s fine. That’s not what I want anyway. In fact, I’d rather you continue to watch me with suspicion and hate me, just like you always have.”

“…What are you talking about?”

“If Mori ever leads a rebellion, you must be the one to stand at the forefront.”

“…”

Ruri’s expression stiffened.

She was more shaken by this than when she was referred to as an ally.

“Are you saying… I would have to kill you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Ferda answered calmly.

“Unlike immortal beings like dragons, humans are destined to die someday.”

“…!”

Ruri clenched her fists without realizing it.

Those words… She had said something similar to Valdrova once before.

“Because we all die eventually, we change. Our vision becomes clouded. When that happens, I might start using the excuse of serving the Grand Duke as a cover to fulfill my own selfish desires.”

Ferda’s gaze turned somber, his blue eyes carrying a quiet, profound sadness.

Ruri could feel it clearly.

This man was prepared to sacrifice even his own life.

“So you, as her loyal servant, must keep watch over me,” Ferda said.

“To ensure that my king, my betrothed, does not get hurt because of me.”

Ruri’s trembling lips parted slowly, her voice weak but steady.

“You’re talking like… some foolish human who doesn’t know his place.”

The sharp words slipped out before she could stop them.
But after hearing Ferda’s request, she gave a small nod.

“Fine. After hearing what you’ve said, I think I can manage that much.”

“Thank you. As expected of a loyal dragon spawn.”

“But there’s something you seem unaware of, so let me correct you.”

Ruri picked up the pen and erased the “Valdrova” from her name.

This act signified that she was not a spawn of Valdrova.

“My real name is this.”

**- Ruri Silverwind.**

“Well then…”

Ruri turned and walked out of the study, leaving Ferda behind, quietly staring down at the name she had written.

‘Didn’t see that coming.’

The name **Silverwind** came as a shock to Ferda.

Dragon spawn typically inherit the surname of the dragon they serve after completing their ascension ritual.

Just as Ferda had gone from “Rosnova” to “Valdrova,” Ruri should have carried the name of her dragon.

But instead, she was Silverwind—not Valdrova.

‘So that means… she’s a Silver Dragon spawn.’

Thinking back, the clues were there.

Her incredible speed and mobility,
Her mastery of wind-based magic…
All of it made sense if she carried the blood of a Silver Dragon.

But something about it didn’t sit right in Ferda’s mind.

After all,
‘Silverwind was killed by Valdrova.’

After slaying the Black Dragon Godwin, Valdrova had gone berserk.

To stop her, Silverwind had sacrificed her life.

‘Which is why they’re mortal enemies.’

Valdrova’s descent into becoming an evil dragon was only possible because of Silverwind’s influence.

She had many loyal followers and was widely respected.

‘A Silver Dragon spawn pledging loyalty to a Red Dragon…?’

Ferda rested his chin on his hand, tapping the armrest of his chair.

‘Does that mean she’s pretending to be loyal?’

Ferda quickly dismissed the thought.

‘Ruri is loyal to a fault.’

There was no doubt about it.

She managed everything for her master with a dedication that couldn’t be driven by mere duty alone.

‘Then does that mean she’s rejecting her blood as a Silver Dragon spawn?’

He dismissed that idea as well.

Blood was thicker than water.
And in dragon society, that truth held even more weight than it did in human society.

‘I don’t get it.’

Ferda reflected on the future he knew.

There were a few things that didn’t sit right.

When he went to kill Valdrova, Ruri wasn’t there.

The fortress Valdrova had built was in ruins,
And inside the lair, only Valdrova herself remained, waiting for death.

Even as Valdrova died, Ruri never appeared.

‘I’d like to know the reason for that…’

But the old Ferda hadn’t cared to investigate such things.

All he knew now was that, despite her unwavering loyalty, Ruri would one day turn her back on Valdrova.

‘Maybe I need to look into this.’

Like it or not, it was something that would undoubtedly bring sorrow to his companion.

Ferda wouldn’t hesitate.

—

The next day, a carriage arrived at the gates of Valdrova Castle.

Marquis Bernell had arrived.