I Picked Up a Witch from a Novel

**Episode 0-b: The One Who Falls.**

If the world were peaceful,

If no one had feelings of hatred,

If people were originally created as beings like that,

Then would I have been able to stand next to Ain in a landscape devoid of any problems?

Having been rejected by the people born into ash-gray, could I one day find happiness by his side?

It seems ridiculous to even imagine such a thing given my position.

Yet, I often found myself thinking thoughts like that.

It was originally affection bestowed upon me by Ain, but as I progressed further, it ultimately turned into a bitter sense of loneliness, stuck behind a colossal wall.

Beyond the empire where I pretended to lead a normal life, there were many who might notice my true identity.

Just as Uncle Rendo and Aunt Rain, and Ildrin stood by my side, there were always those who wished to extinguish the ash-gray at any time.

Behind the cheerful smiles of people, there was always a deep-seated hatred for the ash-gray.

That was

a vast world and a sorrowful landscape that even Ain, who changed my tiny world, could not alter.

So, if someone were to ask me if I had merely waited foolishly for Ain over the past three years while indulging in such delusions,

I would answer no.

I have been troubled.

Ever since the day Ain departed, after the bracelet broke, I imagined countless possibilities and pondered deeply.

He certainly told me that I could act as I wished.

But what I desired was always to be of help to him.

Therefore, I hoped that standing by his side wouldn’t be something unnecessary for him.

I always mulled over how I could stand confidently next to him.

And I made an effort.

To fulfill the parts he needed, to become someone who wouldn’t cause him trouble.

I pondered, sought out, explored, and immersed myself in what that could possibly be.

I wanted to be someone who could be of help to Ain.

To put it simply, Ain was certainly a strong person, but that didn’t mean he was strong in terms of physical power.

Thus, I began researching the magic I had always been busy hiding.

The librarian, Ildrin.

“Asha, too much ash dust is flying around. If this continues, all you’ll be doing is promoting, ‘I am ash-gray! Please kill me!’ wherever you go.”

She meticulously examined and scrutinized that process, explored, engaged, pursued, and made great strides.

“Asha, while I might not be a magician, I think I can tell what your magic is like just by looking at it. It emanates a raw and instinctive burst of primary colors. It feels like you’re blatantly wielding talent alone.”

Pointing out my issues, she would prod and expose them, sharply criticizing and strictly evaluating them.

“I don’t know how you plan to go beyond this market street without even being able to fix that. Asha, are you hoping to visit Ain and commit double suicide?”

However, none of those comments hurt me.

I thought I was quite a lacking and foolish woman, something that was closer to a beast than a human, harboring ash-gray within.

I felt I desperately needed someone’s help.

“This is the basic magic book draft I had stolen from the imperial library, along with the mana flow explanation. And this is a copy of the usage of divine power that was kept in the temple library.”

“…, is this really okay?”

“As long as you don’t get caught, it’s innocent. Besides, there are tens of thousands of books in those places, and if one or two go missing, no one will notice.”

“….”

“Hmm, just in case you do get caught, I would appreciate it if you could hold onto copies of the materials I’ve been researching all this time.”

Though I couldn’t provide a proper answer to whether that help was justified.

In other words, it was a continuation of those three years.

Our library meetings, which only happened once a month, sharply decreased to weekly encounters from the moment I said goodbye to Ain.

Whenever I felt something lacking or had some kind of question, I would visit and ask, even if a week hadn’t passed.

I did this in hope of becoming a slightly better person.

I tried to reach out toward his footsteps, which had already moved far away.

That was the wish contained in my bracelet.

That was my pitiful conviction.

So, today as well, I headed to the library.

“Here, take this today. This is the ash-gray magic book I’ve been writing while researching ash-gray. I’ve carefully selected only the most relevant aspects of ash-gray magic from ancient times. Please read it if you find it necessary.”

“Thank you, Ildrin.”

The librarian, with her dark circles, always handed me something I needed.

“Now that you’ve thanked me, take off your top.”

“…, I’d rather not, Ildrin.”

She always instructed me to repay her with my body for what I owed her.

“Yes. Asha, there’s no need to be grateful, so please take off your top and sit here. It seems like it’s about time you get used to it, yet you behave like this every time.”

“….”

To be precise, it was just a standard physical examination.

However, lately, I had started to feel an unnecessary embarrassment when it came to exposing my body to others.

“Asha, come here quickly. We have much to do today.”

“…, I know, so stop rushing me.”

Yet, there was no misstep in Ildrin’s words.

So, I quietly took off my top and sat across from her in my underwear, having to watch as her gaze roamed and indulged in examining me.

“Hmm.”

“….”

“…, huh.”

That look of hers.

The gaze that felt perverted and the sound of her swallowing.

Despite her certainly noting my physical state and jotting down each detail,

“Yeah, it’s definitely grown a bit larger.”

“That’s incredibly rude.”

The way she nodded in satisfaction, along with her slightly rounded eyes, felt exceedingly impertinent.

Once that physical examination concluded, I dressed again and faced her.

“…, scoundrel.”

“I say it every time, but it’s just a simple physical examination.”

That was undoubtedly a lie.

For I knew how to read now, and the things she scribbled on the paper included a few quite embarrassing notes.

“I’m sorry, but I can now read. So, please erase the oddities like my breast size and the softness of my belly fat.”

“They’re just records. Leaving behind the degree of growth is beneficial in various ways.”

Now, I had a sense of common sense, and I knew such entries weren’t objectively necessary.

Whether it was written out of personal greed or to assume some situation that might arise later, I couldn’t tell.

“Well then, let me write about you unfiltered, so hand me the paper and pen, and take off your clothes.”

“Hmm, I can provide that anytime.”

“….”

This only served to remind me that there was no point in trying to retaliate against the woman named Ildrin.

I simply felt shame for having once stripped in front of Ain without a second thought.

And so, the conversation didn’t conclude lightly with such playful exchanges.

“Asha.”

“…, yes.”

Even if it wasn’t for the purpose of magical exploration, there was a reason I needed to meet Ildrin.

“You have too many scars. You’ve started to self-harm to the point where healing through magic is reaching its limits.”

“….”

Now, I had truly reached my limits; spending nights alone overflowing with emotions and crying out became ordinary.

“Asha, it’s definitely reached a limit. Even though I lack magical talent, I can tell that both your body and magic have reached their limits.”

“…, I can still hold on.”

“You might be able to endure. However, the likelihood of you simply perishing after enduring is quite high, but you could manage to hold on your way.”

“….”

Before I knew it, even the emotional control magic I had once executed was cracking, and the streams of feelings began to seep through.

“Are the medicines no longer effective?”

“…, they’re still working.”

“I can’t prepare anything stronger than what I’ve given you. Beyond that, it’s just poison.”

The various methods we had discussed together were about to stumble off the edge of a precipice.

I had to keep coming to the library weekly to navigate this situation in any way possible.

The concentration of ash-gray emotions pulling me down was growing too strong and thick to bear alone, and I desperately needed the help of many.

“It seems Ain is also working on some ash-gray suppressants, so just hold on a little longer. I’ll do my best to find a solution.”

“Yes, I can hold on. Don’t worry, Ildrin.”

And before long, Ildrin’s hand had shifted from the pen and paper to gently stroking my head.

She was always looking at me with frenzied eyes, but at times, she would reveal an odd sense of concern.

So I strained to force a smile.

I smiled and nodded my head.

The precipice, the cliff edge.

The dull ash-gray flower barely hanging onto the brink for three years seems ready to fall off abruptly, eroded and weathered over time.

I feel like I might topple over at any moment.

Despite staggering, I only fervently await for the warm breeze to arrive.