I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

༺ cherriestastegood ༻

It was spring when I changed my username.

Pretty sure I did it when I was on a gaming spree right after I got discharged from the military.

There was no special reason behind it.

My previous name, [Lemmedischarge] had lost its meaning, so I decided to change it and slipped Luka’s name in it, as she was the Vtuber I’ve been following for a while.

Adding the names of famous streamers or pro gamers was a common thing in games.

There was also the attention I’d receive when they were hosting a game night…

Like, the chat might just roast me if I was picked to play.

“…Let me check. I’ll message you later.”

Doah asked, confused.

“Well, you know that some names have the same alphabet written in them?”

The common barcode usernames.¹T/N: In a game, barcode usernames are like lIlllIIllllIIIIIIlIlI, which is just a bunch of capital i’s and lowercase l’s.

“Yes.”

“Mine has a bunch of l and Is in it, but I can’t remember how there are exactly.”

“Ah, I see.”

She seemed to accept my explanation and didn’t seem to find it weird.

“Alright, text me later then, please, Oppa.”

“Okay. You can just go in first.”

I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead only after Doah went back into the building.

If I couldn’t find a proper excuse just now, I’d be royally screwed.

Like, I didn’t even need to say my full username.

The moment the word ‘Luka’ slipped out, there was no way I’d be able to duoq with her ever again.

Back at home, I turned on my computer in a hurry.

As soon as the screen came out, I logged into League of Legends.

“Name change… Name change… Where— Ah, there it is.”

I went straight to change my name to [lIllIIlI] after topping up around 10,000 won in cash at the game store.

For now, I cleared phase 1.

The biggest fire was out, but I still couldn’t tell her my username right away.

It was unlikely, but there was still a chance that she’d look up my match history.

Even if you were to change your username, there were cases where your previous name would still be visible if someone were to look you up on op.gg.

Fuck… I should’ve just created a new account.

I just wanted to play some games with her, but somehow things became this complicated.

After running through all of my options, I finally decided to just go for it.

Besides, even if she were to look up my match history, there was no way she’d scroll all the way down to my years-old matches.

In any case, I just got back from going outside to play a rhythm game, where I had to move my whole body, and now I had to sit in front of my computer…

My eyes were stiff from the fatigue.

“I’ll play five games today…”

Once I finished twenty games, I’ll ask Doah to play together.

I switched my preferred role to ADC, and clicked the soloq button for a warm-up game.

“No, you fucker—! What the fuck were you aiming at?!”

Only after I was driven to my wit’s end did I remember the reason why I stopped playing this game a long time ago.

* * *

[unnies! unnies!]

Haa. I seriously couldn’t trust these people.

I ended up opening voicecord since I felt like I would go crazy if I kept this to myself.

[Yup, yup. Whassup Luka?]

Hanbit unnie was the only person in our friend group who was online right now.

I hurriedly grabbed her attention and asked to VC.

「Oh, Luka-chii~ It’s been a while since I heard your voice.」

I was briefly happy to hear unnie’s voice after a long time.

And I went straight to asking her for advice. 

「Unnie. What should I do?」

「What is it about?」

As she listened to my story about the arcade tour with Taemin oppa, Hanbit unnie kept giggling as if entertained by it.

「Whoa… That guy is totally acting like a fox.」

「A fox? What do you mean?」

「Hey, would just any guy wipe something off your mouth?」

I could feel my ears ripening as I recalled Oppa’s face getting closer to mine.

「…Maybe he wiped it off because he thought I looked dumb.」

「You’re just getting defensive because you’re afraid of being rejected again.」

She never even saw my face, but why did she know me so well?

Was I that easy to read?

It shouldn’t be the case, right?

「Ah, but how can I not be scared when he drove a stake straight through my heart when he said I wasn’t his type back then?!」

I also knew. That if nothing had happened between us in the past, this wouldn’t be such a big deal for me.

But that wasn’t the case. 

I was rejected already.

Not only that, he didn’t give me a proper fucking response when he rejected me!

How could I not get scared after that?!

While it was true that I was gradually getting closer to him, nothing else had been confirmed so far.

「Anyways, what will you do if he sees that your ign is Luka?」²T/N: ign = in game name

「Yeah…」

「Does he seem to be into Vtubers?」

「No, I don’t think so. But we’re looking into stuff like that for this group project, so who knows…」

I was happy that I got to play games with Taemin oppa.

If we played games together and got closer, our relationship might progress.

But if Oppa saw my username and against all odds, recognized who I was…

What would happen if he discovered I was a virtual idol, that I was Luka?

It was too optimistic of me to hope that he’d say ‘Ah, I see’ and just let it slide.

Why would a super handsome guy like Taemin oppa watch Vtubers?

If anything, he’d hate me instead.

I was that girl who hid behind the so-called virtual avatar and did otaku type of streams…

Even if everything miraculously worked out, the idea that this might be a sinking ship would soon send me into a depressive mood.

「Just create a new account.」

Maybe she noticed my sullen mood?

Unnie gave me a solution as if telling me to not fret about it.

「Your fans can search up the account you’re using now anyway.」

「That’s right.」

「If you duo with him on that account, you might end up attracting some weirdos, you know?」

「Ah… You’re right…」

I haven’t had any issues with that up until now because I’ve always been a solo streamer who played by myself outside of like community nights, but Unnie made a good point.

Even if I played games with my unnies, they would probably say, ‘Is one of them your boyfriend?’ and try to dig up information about them, so who knows what would happen if we played with just the two of us.

If my viewers ended up harming Oppa because of this, it would be over for me.

That was the worst possible situation that could happen.

「Creating a new one isn’t a problem… but then I’ll have to start again from scratch to level up.」

「Just forget about playing with him if it’s that annoying for you.」

Unnie’s words were true, but the way she said it pissed me off.

「…I’m going to create one.」

「Do you want some help leveling up? I’m free this evening.」

「I appreciate your help! Come on now, Unnie.」

All I needed was to get to level 10.

I wouldn’t be able to unlock that many champions, but I could still do a few things.

And if Unnie were to help me, that would be great.

「What position are you going, Luka?」

「I’ll play support!」

「Wow… Look at this girl… Acting all cute playing support again because you want to stay next to your prince, huh?」

「That’s not true! I’m actually a good support!」

「What’re you on about? Don’t you remember back when we used to play this game a lot together? You’d always claim to have some big ‘aha’ moment, but then just went back to playing the shitty bearded old men champions all day long.」

While I was stubbornly ignoring Unnie, who was roasting me, and moved my finger busily to create a new account, I encountered a problem.

「Unnie, what should I make my username?」

「How about wherehaveyoubeendarling?」

「Crazy.」

That was a crazy suggestion, but it did crack me up.

「Ah, not that, be serious.」

「Is that not witty enough?」

「I’ll just come up with my own.」

Staring at the monitor, I began to think that I should use something I like as an inspiration.

You know what, I should do exactly that.

[cherriestastegood]

It wasn’t a witty name, but it did mention the cherry ice cream I had with Oppa.

Let’s just treat this name as a commemoration for that.

「So what’s Luka-tan’s name? I’ll send you a friend request.」

[cherriestastegood]

I stretched out my body after I sent my name through the voicecord chat.

「Whoa… That’s quite bold?」

「Eh? What part of it?」

What was so bold about it?

「What the? Are you telling me that wasn’t intentional?」

Cherries tasted good, that was it. What was she even on about?

I racked my brain, trying to understand what she meant, but eventually I gave up and asked her directly instead.

「What do you think it meant, Unnie?」

「Cherry means that in English. That, you know?」

Cherry was cherry.

What other meaning did it have?

「I don’t know. What is it?」

「It’s slang for virgin in English.」

But wait a minute… If I tried and interpreted my username literally…

「Ah! Seriously! Unnieee!」

Even though I obviously knew that Hanbit unnie was wearing earphones, I still just screamed out loud anyways.

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• 1

  T/N: In a game, barcode usernames are like lIlllIIllllIIIIIIlIlI, which is just a bunch of capital i’s and lowercase l’s.

• 2

  T/N: ign = in game name

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