I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

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The Receiver VII

Shall I bring up a slightly different topic.

Everyone has, at least once, fallen into the fantasy of [Character Making] themselves.

For example, if you're of the Harry Potter generation, you've probably day-dreamed about your avatar (for some reason sorted into Ravenclaw House) enrolling at Hogwarts.

It makes no difference even if you're not imagining yourself entering a particular fictional universe.

TRPGs, role-plays, whatever.

At the very least, you wish the real-life you could turn into someone a bit more ideal.

'The greatest version of myself I can picture.'

Opportunities to sketch an original character in your head are surprisingly common.

Now, let's add one more layer of imagination.

Imagine that a person called A really gained the ability of [Character Making].

Of course, an ability called [Character Making] doesn't exist in reality.

I'm not speaking in circles just to confuse you.

To put it bluntly, this is not an accurate account of Go Yuri.

I'm only using [Character Making] as an example so you can picture it easily.

Even so—if such an impossible fantasy came true, what would happen next?

First of all, the fact that you'd check off 'peerless beauty' as your very first trait is so obvious anyone could predict it without being a prophet.

After that, according to your taste, you might deepen bonds with a childhood friend, bump into a literary girl in a hidden archive, secretly help a genius artist who's perfect on the outside but a bundle of yandere nerves on the inside, or be doted on by a sibling who's unusually kind only to you.

Just design your life however you like.

– Life is wonderful!

And then, just when you're enjoying that beautiful life to the fullest, an unfortunate bit of news arrives: the Void comes calling.

– Uh-oh?

The genre shifts.

No matter how lovingly crafted your OC is, they can only panic. How can a whole universe change this suddenly?

Thankfully, the panic doesn't last long. The odds are high that you already invested in something like 'Mental Fortitude: A-class' during [Character Making].

– Ahh, so that's what the hidden setting was?

Above all, to your surrogate A, this sort of genre drift feels like a cliché in itself.

– I've seen this somewhere before!

– Well, it can't be helped. Let's give it a go… saving the world.

Now A starts paying attention to traits they barely glanced at when they first did [Character Making].

'Swordsmanship Talent.' In a modern story you figured you'd never need such a trait, but things are different now. Pick it. Slot it in. Talent cap? Obviously S-class.

'Magic Talent.' Same story. Scribbling even more cheat codes onto an already happy life might offend A's aesthetic sense, but next to a grand event like the end of the world, personal qualms are trivial. Pick it. Slot it in. Talent ceiling? SSS-class.

Far beyond an OC and into the territory of an undeniable Mary Sue—a munchkin that anyone would complain about—the overpowered build is now complete.

– Now then! How do you like me!

And the Void arrives.

– Huh?

The difficulty feels a bit off.

– Hmm?

Still, there's no need to worry.

A has a cheat key:

Unlimited [Character Making] ticket service!

Spin the gacha as much as you like! Apart from having to invest your time with each spin, it's practically free! Good grief. The devs must be crazy!

So what's left?

You.

– What, I have to pick even more traits…?

A hint of dissatisfaction.

A lone Mary Sue stomping everything flat by herself is way off A's taste.

Even so—what choice is there? The world must be saved.

Because the childhood friend whose bond you painstakingly built, the literary girl who makes you light-hearted just by her presence, the genius artist who shows a real smile only to you, the sibling who'd dive into Hell for your sake—

If you don't save the world, they all die.

And it won't be a peaceful death either.

– Mm.

For yourself. For others.

For the life that has already become precious.

– Fine, just a bit more.

'Charisma.' You never wanted to stand out, but if you're going to block the Void you have to unite humanity. Mediating between countless people with conflicting interests already makes your head spin and your chest feel tight, but—

– Just a bit more.

'Natural Socialite.' Then all you need is a trait that lets you enjoy socializing itself. Now hanging out with scheming power players isn't painful. Sure, as a human you still get stressed, but—

– A bit more?

'Indomitable Will.' In that case, nullify the stress itself. More precisely, impose upon yourself a steel will that never collapses even under stress. Traits like 'Diligent' and 'Conviction' are bonuses. Willpower beyond anything your past self could have imagined.

– Just a bit more.

'Graceful Speech.' The ability to speak at any time and place without losing dignity or courtesy, so no one ever underestimates you. But some people positively dislike formal manners, so—

– Just a bit more!

'Psychological Insight.' If you can sense someone's psyche instinctively, you can tailor your response. 'Mind Reading.' Read their thoughts outright and you can judge not just instinctively but with intellect. 'Status.' By reading even the opponent's talents and disposition, you remove any room for misunderstanding.

– Just a bit more.

– Just a bit more.

– Just a little…

There are countless roads to unhappiness, but only one path to happiness, so they say. Tolstoy said something similar.

Road. Route.

The sun sets but the road is still long.

It can't be helped. The journey is urgent, yet the sun is already sinking.

If letting the sun set is the law of nature, then walking the road is the law of humanity. And Nature—the world—now hates humankind. So why should I place nature's law above human law?

– Huh?

Somehow I feel more erudite.

Now you can quote both Anna Karenina and the Records of the Grand Historian with perfect ease.

You couldn't read classical Chinese at all before.

Since when?

…You're not sure.

Was it when you took 'Culture' as a trait? Or when, to recruit a particular someone, you chose 'Calligraphy' as a shared hobby?

Or, or, or—

– …Huh.

Déjà vu.

– …

Once, your family badgered you to get into a prestigious university. Studying was boring, but the world is harsh, they said, and a top-tier diploma is indispensable. Lacking the courage to ignore that brief, persuasive logic, you probably took the trait 'Scholastic Ability.'

Once, you hated people, hated forcing yourself to smile, but you had no power to trample those you disliked and no nerve to face them without a smile, so you probably took the traits 'Sociability' and 'Smile.'

You didn't hate it.

You didn't love it either.

Things you merely 'didn't hate' piled up.

Before you knew it, perhaps the heap had grown into something close to 'hate.'

– …Just a little more.

No need to worry.

A has a cheat key:

'Optimism.' 'Bright Smile.' 'Sense of Happiness.' 'Carrier of Happy Virus.' 'Stress Immunity.' 'Dopamine System Immunity.' 'Unquenchable Hope.' 'A magic switch that turns sadness ON/OFF.' 'Be Happy.' 'Healthy Self-Love.' 'Ability to forcibly redirect your train of thought.' 'Be Happy.' 'Don't grieve over failure.' 'Don't despair over frustration.' 'Cherish success.' 'Never lose curiosity about the world.' 'Be Happy.'

And what remains after all this?

Everything.

– …

Just that… you are no longer there.

The rowboat fell silent.

"…"

"…"

The reason was simple.

After that last exchange, I'd stopped talking to Go Yuri.

I'd realized that any conversation was meaningless.

"…"

A faint smile.

Go Yuri likewise didn't open her mouth first.

She must have decided that, with me as I am now, the best way to draw goodwill was 'silence.' She kept only a faint smile on her lips.

So on the broad sea only the sound of oars stirring the water broke the hush.

"Uh. Um."

Shifting around awkwardly—

Lü Bu glanced away.

"…Ah, right! Brother! Now only [The Librarian of the Great Library]'s star shard is left, isn't it! Wahaha. That means either she or I will become the final Constellation. Brother, whom will you choose?"

"We'll see when we get there."

"As expected, Brother, you're cautious! Ha-a! But I! Even if I'm reborn as the one and only Constellation, I swear I will never betray you, Brother! Am I not the very model of a loyal retainer!"

"Right."

"Ah-ha-ha! Heh-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha…."

Lü Bu's expression slowly flattened.

"Ehh, this is bad news."

When I still didn't react, Lü Bu glanced up at the sky like a dog whose owner has scolded it.

[The Monarch of the Crimson Horsevoices serious doubts about the current mood.]

[The Monarch of the Crimson Horsedoes not understand your sudden change of heart.]

I couldn't explain.

Lü Bu had already come into too close contact with Go Yuri. Even if he understood my explanation, he would never be able to abandon his attachment to her.

In the end, until we reached our final destination, the rowboat was steeped in silence.

"Whoa, hey. We've arrived."

The Tower of Babel.

Lü Bu moored the boat to that structure standing in the middle of the sea. As usual he tried to flop down and stretch out, but I stopped him.

"You're coming with me this time."

"Huh? Ah, yes. Understood."

Just as I was about to disembark with Lü Bu—tug.

Something gripped my clothes.

When I turned, Go Yuri was gently pinching the hem of my collar with her fingertips.

"…"

In her other hand she held out a star fragment.

[The Collector of All Anomalies]. It was the residue of the Constellation Go Yuri had devoured on the deserted island.

"You're kind, Guild Leader."

Go Yuri parted her lips.

"No matter what we say now, you can never know what I truly meant. The 'real me' is cut out of the dialogue, and only the 'Go Yuri' created by your imagination is left smiling."

"…"

"So there's only one way to communicate with 'me.' Silence. If no words are exchanged, your silence itself shows you're keeping quiet for my sake."

She gave a bright smile.

"Thank you."

"…"

"It's so like you to find a method anywhere, Guild Leader, but you don't have to be considerate. I'm actually more comfortable if you keep talking to yourself. It's a kind of pleasant white noise!"

Was that truly Go Yuri's feeling?

I couldn't tell.

I even tried using [Mind Reading] as an experiment, but it had no effect.

Like a warped mirror, like a broken kaleidoscope, the being before my eyes only refracted my own psyche.

"…I'm sorry."

After accepting the star fragment, I murmured quietly.

"Huh."

"To talk with you, I'd have to face you while holding your real form in my mind. But for me now, that's impossible. I… can't know your true face. I'm sorry."

"Huh. Huh."

"Forgive me."

Go Yuri's lips slowly opened.

"ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ."

But no voice came out. Even her lips didn't move. In the pitch-black well beyond, there wasn't even a sign of a tongue.

"ㅤㅤ." "ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ." "ㅤㅤㅤㅤ."

I couldn't reach her.

The Void.

"…"

Closing her lips, Go Yuri smiled. And she never spoke again. She only waved her hand, as though bidding farewell.

I stepped out of the rowboat.

When I climbed the Tower of Babel and glanced back, the boat moored at the steps was drifting all alone, with no one on board.

"Brother."

"Mm? Yes?"

"Do you remember who was with us just now?"

Lü Bu tilted her head.

"Huh? What are you saying, Brother? Ever since the deserted island, haven't the two of us siblings overcome every ordeal together! Wahaha!"

"…I see."

"Yep! The moment this little brother lost his Sky-Piercing Halberd yet still defeated [The Collector of All Anomalies] must be recorded in Brother's heroic chronicles! I truly hope your personal Prophet will do it justice!"

The instant Lü Bu said that, for some reason my own memory conjured up an image of this kid actually clashing with [The Collector of All Anomalies].

Vaguely—at some unknown place, maybe that deserted island. But the image was vivid.

'Just as I thought.'

If I didn't possess [Complete Memory], my original memories would already have been entirely painted over.

'Perhaps it isn't a coincidence that I was given this kind of memory.'

Threads of inevitability woven like spider silk.

Feeling one of those flimsy strands catch my ankle, I climbed the tower steps.

A short time later.

"Welcome, my master."

A certain Constellation awaited me in the tower's innermost chamber.

Seeing me freeze for a moment, she spread a fan and hid her lips.

"Your face has hardened. Why? Were you expecting [The Librarian of the Great Library] instead? Oh dear, how disappointing."

"…Why are you here?"

"Oh my, do I really need to explain? That crude, barbaric, stupid miko must have followed 'that side.' Naturally, that leaves me by myself on 'this side.'"

The white girl.

Despite her aristocratic speech and bearing, shackles bound her ankles, wrists, and even the slender neck beneath her face.

"Ahh. Truly! Free of that wretched brat—oh my, pardon. Free of that wretched apostle—the very air feels different."

This was the first time I'd met her in reality.

Even so, I could speak her name without hesitation.

"…The Admin of the Infinite Metagame."

"Yees."

Click—the fan folded shut.

"I've been waiting, regressor. My detestable master."

Unlike the other Constellations, whose beginnings were lies from the outset, the outcast god who alone was a true Constellation smiled fearlessly.

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagamegreets you.]

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