I'm in Marvel 11

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***

I didn't fall for long, about five seconds, followed by a hard landing. I was still sitting in the chair, but I wasn't tied up anymore. That's a good thing. But the most interesting thing was all around me. Although you could argue that, because the whole space was black, and I was in a small area lit by an invisible lamp. 

But back to the space around me. Everything was black everywhere I looked. And there was a liquid of the same colour pouring down from above in the form of rain. Where I'd got to, I didn't really understand.

- Fascinating, isn't it? - came a voice.

- Not really. It's kind of boring," I replied, watching the creature closely. Wasn't it trying to kill me?

- You're so funny," said the shadow, coming closer. - How can you treat your subconscious like that?

- What? Subconscious? - At these words I was completely confused.

- Exactly, my little dove! Exactly! It's a beautiful sight, don't you think?

- To be honest, I expected to see something more interesting than black space, - I answered him. - I didn't expect my subconscious to be so boring.

- There's nothing you can do about it. You must have forgotten, but the colour of despair is black. And right now you're full of despair, pie boy. And this is all its manifestation," the creature said, spreading its arms out to the sides. - Speaking of which, you can relax your buns for now. It won't take a second outside, and we can chat for at least an hour.

Listening to the shadow, I actually relaxed a little. It didn't feel directly threatening. It was weird, but... Ouch, what's to say, the last few moments have all been really weird! I'll just be careful, and continue to keep a close eye on this guy.

- You were expecting to see upside down skyscrapers like an orange*, weren't you?

- At least. 

- Then you need to be calm and we'll see what a rich inner world you have! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! - The shadow laughed.

- By the way, where's Yohi?

- She'll only get in the way of our manly conversation. Let her get a little nervous, not knowing what's going on. It'll be good for her.

- Yeah. What's next? - I asked him, catching in the palm of my hand, a drop of black liquid pouring down from above. 

It actually felt like an emotion. I don't know how that's possible, but inside the subconscious mind you can probably see more than that.

- Aggh! What the...?! - I groaned as pain shot through my left arm.

- Ho-ho! Here we go at last! - said the creature in satisfaction.

- It's starting?! What are you talking about?! - I asked, looking at my left hand. The fingers were beginning to blacken rapidly and turn... Into chains?!

- A transformation into Distortion," the creature said tastefully, slowly.

- Distortion?! N-no! No way, ha-ha! I-I can't turn into Distortion!!! - I was terrified to speak. Meanwhile, the hand continued to distort - No, this is some kind of joke!

- Did you think you were in a fairy tale? Heh-heh! If I did, it was not a happy one! - my interlocutor was still amused. - By the way, have I told you what Distortion is? А?

- I know it without you! - I answered him, watching with horror as all my fingers became black chains.

- Distortion is an abnormal phenomenon that has the effect of physically and mentally altering the subject, as well as in some cases nearby and closely related objects. The cause of the phenomenon is prolonged and very heavy stress, and the trigger of transformation is a mental breakdown with a very vivid desire to correct the situation in one way or another (from force to self-mutilation). And the stronger the desire and emotions accompanying it, the more powerful will be the result of the Distortion. - sitting on a chair embodied from the darkness, the shadow said in a lecturing tone, as if reading the definition, while actively gesticulating with his hands. - As they say, sometimes one shitty day is enough. I can't remember who said that shit, but the funny thing is, heh, he was right.

- But I didn't have prolonged stress**! - I grasped at the straw, still not wanting to believe what was happening.

- Yeah? Didn't you always think about what would happen if your mother realised you'd been reborn? Would she love you like she used to? What about all those chthonic creatures from outer space that could destroy the planet? Or all that praise of your intelligence from the people around you. You've always thought it wasn't really fair. There's little to no credit for your inventions or anything else. It's all basically stolen results. You kept coming back to those thoughts, even though you tried to put them away. And today was the final chord, - my interlocutor answered calmly.

- But people were distorted by Carmen's influence! - I exclaimed, beginning to frantically recall how things were in the world from which I had pulled all the technology.

According to the game's lore, with the help of the Lobotomy Corporation's mastermind Carmen, placed in a special device, Kogito was extracted. This is the liquid of the Primordial Sea, the source of everything that happens in the universe, to put it briefly. The girl herself, in the form of nerves, spinal cord and brain, was between life and death in a large jar dubbed the Well. A terrible fate. There was a theory that this was what drove her mad, from which she decided to make all those who received the Light the same. How did she do it? With the help of Carmen's Cogito, the Lobotomy Corporation began a procedure to extract Anomalies from the human subconscious, and began manufacturing them on a mass scale. The extraction procedure requires a test subject as the basis for the future Anomaly. Cogito injections are often fatal, but even in the case of success, the person still ceases to exist, turning into an Anomaly. The Anomalies then absorbed the emotions of the workers and turned them into enkephalin. And that's where the Light comes from. 

Apparently some part of Carmen remained in it and persuaded people to give in to the Distortion with her very persuasive speeches. But she's not in this world, so there can't be Distortion!

- Yeah. But can't people be desperate enough? Although if you want Carmen so badly, I'll go for her today.

- Who the hell are you?! A demon or something?!

- No, no, no! The creature waved its hand in denial. - I can't really explain who I am, but I'm not one of those things. Perhaps it would be more correct to say that I am a reflection of you, which appeared because of the influence of Light and despair.

- And now what? - was all I could ask him.

- Now you will become a Distortion and finally be free.

- From what? - I asked him, watching as the entire brush had already turned into living chains that I could control. It was excruciatingly painful to feel and see you slowly turning into a HER, but there was nothing I could do.

- From the shackles of morality, body and mind. Isn't it worth it? - With her head bowed, the shadow asked a question.

- I don't want to become a cripple with my mind! - I exclaimed in despair.

- Oh, that's a problem. And it is you who think so, for fear of losing yourself. But what makes you think you will lose rather than gain? - he asked the question in a kindly tone.

- I have seen examples of what happens to those who give in! I don't like that kind of result!

- Well, if it doesn't suit you, it doesn't suit you. Form the E.G.O., what can you do?" the creature said suddenly, shrugging his shoulders.

- What?" I'm not following the conversation at all.

- You don't want to be Distorted, do you? Well, then don't! - exclaimed the shadow cheerfully.

- Why was it possible to do that? - Unbelievingly asked him.

- No! Aha-ha-ha-ha, that was your face! Oh, I can't! - the freak started to laugh.

- Fuck you! 

- I'm going, you're staying. Come on, enough of games, - said the shadow, having calmed down sharply. - You'll be distorted. There's not much choice. I'm not trying to trick you or anything. I'm just telling you the truth. You realise that. Because your biggest enemy is yourself. Because you can't fool yourself. And you know everything you need to know about yourself.

I wanted to answer him somehow, but I didn't have the right words. And my arm was already distorted up to the elbow. That was probably the most important proof that he was right. 

- You couldn't get the power you wanted, and you didn't protect the only person in the world you cared about. And it eats away at your mind like acid," the shadow continued calmly, with a hint of sympathy. - I understand. There's no point in keeping it all to yourself. Submit and it's over.

The pain in my body and mind, the negative emotions and, most importantly, his words, all of it soured my resolve. This guy knew me very well. And he knew what to say and when to say it, to completely destroy my will to resist.

- And these people you wanted to help? - He continued, coming closer to me. - You were thinking of gradually unlocking the technology and improving the lives of the common people. But are they worthy of it? Look how those Japanese women treated you! Tortured you, and now they want to finish you off because you've exhausted your value. How many like them are there? How many murderers, drug dealers, cannibals, and other scum that should have been executed a couple of dozen times? Does this humanity deserve anything good?

Once again, words that hit the mark. I didn't even have to say anything. The hand that was completely distorted was the best proof that he was right.

- Or, for example, your dear Aki. Yes, don't be surprised! You think if it wasn't for her, none of this would have happened. Well, well, well, don't turn away in shame! I understand and I don't blame you. That's what the vast majority of people in your shoes would think. It's true. Now you could sit at home and create some cool stuff instead of gradually dying in some dirty basement. I understand you, Kyle. I understand," the creature said, coming over and giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

I had nothing to say to it. All these thoughts were running through my head, even though I tried to chase them away. I guess I shouldn't expect a happy ending. Reality is usually more cruel. No one's going to come and save me or Mum and Aki. It's ironic. I wanted to get the strength of a bounty hunter, but I miscalculated. You should have chosen something simpler.

- Why do you want to cling to your life? You don't even have a goal, let alone a dream. You're just floating along, just joking about taking over the world. You don't really want anything. Is this life really worth fighting for?

- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! - I only managed to laugh madly, covering my face with the remaining palm of my hand.

- You've finally accepted yourself Kyle. Good for you," the shadow said satisfactorily, then continued in a solemn tone. - Leave all the limitations there, in your past life. Be reborn stronger and more perfect. Answer this world with a blow for a blow.

And I began to remember all the good moments in this life before the end. There were a lot of them. My mum, who won me over with her love. The joy of making crafts. Crazy pranks with Aki. Watching Gerda and Dan argue over tea or coffee. Ben's look of admiration after I scattered his abusers. And a lot of other things. I have to say, this life was certainly not the worst. 

I could save my mum and Aki by being twisted, and that's all I needed. I don't have to be me anymore. That would be a good trade off.

Meanwhile, the distortion had already reached my heart, turning my flesh into chains that followed the contour of my body. It was accompanied by a terrible pain that made me want to end this torment as quickly as possible.

- Yes. That's right, Kyle," the shadow said satisfactorily.

No. There's something I have to do personally. I have to save my mum and the red fool. And I have to tell them about my rebirth. I'll do that, and what happens afterwards doesn't matter. 

- Oh, again? - The shadow asked tiredly, putting a palm to her forehead. - Kyle, why do you have to suffer? Submit and the pain will go away. Why suffer?

- As soon as I save the ladies dear to my heart, I will stop, - answered him, watching the growth of the Distortion stopped. True, almost half of his body was already made of chains.

- And why? If you distort yourself, you can do the same thing. And fighting yourself, and with a wound like that, you'll just die! Is it really worth it?

- Let it be. I've already been reborn once. Maybe I'll get lucky again," I said, squeezing and unclenching my new hand. It felt like flesh and blood. What a miracle. - You know what else?

- And what else? - the creature asked.

- I finally know what I want. Thank you for that.

- Wow. I'm afraid to ask what? - hummed and asked the question.

- I would like to spread the Light throughout the Earth. To uplift people spiritually, so that there would be no more cases like today with me. To let people become complete with the help of E.G.O.. No one will ever hurt anyone around them again. And with this power, the Earth will be protected from threats.

- What idealism! - sarcastically exclaimed my interlocutor. - And from whom?! From a pessimist like you Kailusha?! You surprised me!

- Yeah. I know it sounds very childish," I agreed with the shadow. - But it's something only I can do. No one else has the technology.

- So you've decided to run the Seed of Light programme here? Do you know the risks? And you're willing to do it? - the shadow asked a tricky question.

Seed of Light, huh? In the game, Carmen planned to cure the spiritual decay of the City's inhabitants by dispersing the Light for seven days and nights. But there was a glitch, and instead of getting E.G.D.'s all over the place, most of the people started turning into Distortions with her help.

- Yes. I'll stop the programme from being disrupted and the whole world will receive the Light.

- Well, well, well. What about the very people you wanted to ennoble? Do you think they'll like that? You're going against the world and imposing your morality on everyone! - The creature pointed his finger accusingly at me. - You know that both heroes and villains in comics stick to the status quo! No one is going to let you break it!

- This isn't a comic book, it's the real world. Who's gonna let them stop me? I'm going to use all my powers, and nobody's going to stop me. And what morality am I imposing? Live and let live? It's a base, you know!

- Happiness for all and let no one go away offended? You remember the man who tried to do that last, don't you? And remember how he ended his life?

- I will not wait to be crucified. I will find those who share my views and achieve the completion of my wildest dreams! - Replied the shadow.

Yeah, now I know what I want. As it turns out, it can motivate you to do new things.

- So you've decided to become a totalitarian peacemaker? Oh, wow. I didn't expect it, I admit," he said with a grin. - But how will you achieve it if you die from a trio of ninjas?

- It's possible that I'll die," I agreed. - But I realised the main thing. I'm willing to go all the way. I'll save my loved ones and tell them the truth, and that's all I have the strength and life for.

After these words, I felt an incredible lightness, as if all the problems were within my reach. And the surrounding space began to brighten rapidly.

- What the hell?!

- Hmm. Looks like you've come out of your depression. That's a shame," the shadow said sadly.

- Did you want me to just become Warped?

- That would have been the best result for you. And anyway, what's the deal with the protagonist solving a puzzle at the last minute or gaining incredible powers?

- I'm not the protagonist. This isn't a comic book, you know," he replied, scrutinising his changing surroundings.

Meanwhile, the black slime disappeared, revealing a view of outer space. There were planets, galactic stars, and other mesmerising sights in the distance. At the same time, not far away from me was a sophisticated Tedarium** computer. Hmm, what is that? Maybe the System incarnate? And right above us was a huge sun. Beautiful, though. I could just stare at it.

- It's a shame," the creature said again. - Instead of freedom, you have shackled and imprisoned yourself.

- What are you talking about?

- Distortion is freedom, and E.G.O. is control over yourself and your emotions. And you chose the latter.

- The latter? 

What's he talking about? I'm warping and I'm not gonna get the E.G.O.!

- At the very last moment, you were able to awaken your A.D.D.

- But where is it?! - I asked him in surprise. Did I really do it? But how is that possible?!

- Lower your head and look at your chest.

As I did so, I noticed a small medallion of blackened silver and gold, in the shape of a star in a circle. From this circle there were rays like petals of flame all along its length. And from the rays, there were five dark, tattooed areas of skin with small round indentations in the middle. When I saw that medallion, I knew it was my E.G.O. But it wasn't fully formed yet.

- I'd congratulate you, but you've condemned yourself to eternal torment.

- What? Why is that? - I asked him suspiciously.

- You'll never rest again. Everyone, heroes, villains and all kinds of chthonic creatures will not leave you alone until they destroy you. You've chosen the most fucked up fork in the road, Kailoosh. And now prepare to reap the consequences of your choice," he said sadly.

- I'm ready for that," I said confidently, looking straight into his eyes, or whatever was replacing them.

- Yeah? Are you sure? What if your mum gets killed? Or your friends?

- Never again. I won't let them be touched from now on," I answered him firmly.

- 'Eh, well I hope so,' the shadow said and began to slowly disintegrate. - You haven't forgotten what selfishness is, have you, in the world of Lobotomy? It's not a fixation on yourself, but a determination to carry and stand up for your beliefs****. It was the moment you realised your desire that your E.G.O. was formed. Remember that, little Kyle. Now you've become an egomaniac.

- Pfft, lovely title," I replied mockingly.

- I see no reason to laugh," the creature replied sadly. At that, a tear came out of its right eye... A tear?

- Are you crying because you failed to make me a Distortion?

- I'm crying because your life will be full of disappointment and pain. You'll remember what I said, but it'll be too late. This world won't let anything good bloom and shine.

- Yeah, I expected you to try to take over my body or something," I said, confused, watching as half of the shadow disintegrated.

- And in what way, may I ask? - he snorted. - I'm a part of you, brought into existence under unique circumstances.

- And now you're going to disappear? - I asked him, feeling a certain guilt or something. He certainly didn't mean me any harm, I could feel it clearly now. It was just that his concern was peculiar. I guess that's what parents often do when they think they're doing the right thing by their children.

- Right now, yes, but I'll exist inside your mind, and dream about your adventures," the shadow replied, and for a second, its face appeared. Just like mine.

- Well, I can promise you it won't be boring. I'm going to be the sun that gives light to the people of this world! - I decided to show off at the end.

- Heh, that sounds a little too pathetic Kailusa! Hmm? What's that look on your face? Is that sadness? For me? Wow! - laughed my doppelganger, which left my head.

- And not for you at all! I just don't want you to sleep through my triumph, okay?! - answered him sharply, turning away.

- Of course, how could I think otherwise, - choking with laughter, answered this bad double.

- Don't think otherwise!

- What a tsundere," the doppelganger said, grinning. - Okay, I'm going to take a nap. Go on, get out of here and don't disturb your sleep. You still have to save the ladies and realise the ingratitude of your idea.And after saying that, he fell apart without a trace. What an arsehole. But now I could concentrate on my E.H.O.

It was finally formed and now I had the knowledge of what this little thing could do. Perhaps his abilities would be perfect for the Seed of Light plan. I'll try not to make the mistakes of the Lobotomy heroes and see it through.

- Well, it's time to go outside, because they're waiting for me," I said cheerfully. - By the way, we should call it E.G.O. Hmmm... Let it be...!

***

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