In An Alternate Universe Of Naruto In Sasuke Uchiha

After death, I thought that everyone either goes to hell or goes to heaven, but you don't.

Wanna know what really happens after death?

Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

For the past eight thousand and seventy-four years, five months, and twenty-six days, I have been drifting in an endless void. If I was still a mortal being in a human body, I might have gone crazy, but no, because I was just some soul, I felt nothing. Over the years, I forgot what having emotions felt like.

That was until a portal enveloped me and transported me to a field, where neatly cut green grass was all the eye could see. I walked forward and—wait, I can walk? Looking down, I saw a pair of legs. My legs. I had my old body back.

Before I could examine more of my body, I saw a man a few meters in front of me, about the age of 50.

I don't know how I didn't notice him—he was a giant of a man. Dressed in all white, with his salt-and-pepper hair slicked back.

My thoughts were cut off when the man spoke, "Hello there, my name is... well, you can't pronounce it, and if you tried, your soul would be destroyed." He let out a chuckle. "Many learned that the hard way... Anyway, you can call me One."

"My name's Noah," my voice unsteady as the words came out.

"Oh, I know. I created you, after all." He smiled. It was the whitest white I've ever seen. But soon his smile was gone as he sighed. "As much as I would love to talk to my creation, I would like to get this over with. For the past eight thousand and seventy-four years, I've been sorting out where all the humans go. Like, good people get to decide whether they want to be reincarnated into a new world or a fictional one, OR they can start their life over again. And bad people's souls were immediately destroyed. You, my friend, are the last. Exactly the two hundred fifty-four billion, six hundred twenty-one million, six hundred sixty-four thousand and eighth."

"....Am I a good or bad person, One?"

"Good, of course!" One laughed loudly. When finished, malice took over his expression. "If you were bad, I would have destroyed you already."

I gulped. Hard.

"Let's get this over with, so I can take another trillion-year nap." Suddenly, One was right in front of me. "So, Noah, what's it gonna be? Start your life over, or be reincarnated?"

That really made me think. Did I really want to start my life over? I mean, it wasn't the worst, but I always struggled to get by after my parents died, and I could never stay in a relationship or start a family. So, to me, the answer was obvious. Reincarnation.

"One, my answer is—"

"Oh, I'm just kidding, kid. Because you're the last of the last, there's not much to choose from. Unfortunately, I don't have any more life redo-overs, and I can't reincarnate into a new world. Sorry."

Okay. It doesn't really matter, I wasn't gonna pick reincarnation anyway. Now I just have to pick a fictio—

"About that," One interrupted my thinking as if he could hear my thoughts.

Of course, he can hear my thoughts.

"There's no picking fictional worlds. There's only one left. The Naruto verse. Which I do know you have your fair share of knowledge about. And before you think you get to create your own person or something, you're wrong. You'll have to reincarnate into Sasuke Uchiha."

You gotta be fucking kidding me. I can't choose my fictional world or be my own person. Don't get me wrong, I love Naruto and I love the character Sasuke. In fact, he's my favorite in Naruto. It's just I was angry that my options were so few.

"Look, I know you're upset. That's why I'm giving you five wishes and five perks to help you in the Naruto world."

Immediately, my face changed. One chuckled. "I knew that would change your mind."

This changes everything. But I was confused. I mean, wishes were self-explanatory. But perks—how did that work?

I was going to ask a question, but One was ahead of me. "So perks work like this. It's an ability, like a permanent power-up. So all you have to do is come up with three perks, also explaining what they do. Remember, there are certain things I can't grant, okay? That goes for wishes too. So don't go wishing for immortality. Wishes in 3...2...1... go!"

"Uh... to be... uh, filthy rich?"

"Granted. Next."

Money, really? I mean, it was always the answer when someone asked me if I could have one thing, what would it be. At least in my past life. Okay, I have to think. This is the Naruto world. What will I need? I thought before giving One my next few wishes.

"I want to have all five chakra natures, have endless chakra reserves, and mastered chakra control."

One hummed. "That's three wishes, correct?" I nodded. "Granted."

"One more wish to go."

"I wish for regeneration on par with Hashirama," I asked for my final wish.

"Granted. But that doesn't mean you're gonna have wood style, understand?"

I nodded. "Understood."

"That's all your wishes. Do you want some time to think about your perks?"

"No, I got it. The first one is called Loyalty. All my allies have buffs to their strength and will have a huge amount of plot armor."

Getting a nod from One, I continued. "The second one is called Reincarnate. Since Sasuke is the reincarnation of Indra Otsutsuki and Madara Uchiha, I will have all their experience, talent, and jutsu."

"Granted, but it will only partly activate when you awaken your Sharingan and fully activate when or if you get the Mangekyou Sharingan."

"The next one is called Prodigious. It means I learn and master things almost immediately."

One hummed. "Granted."

"Uhhh... also, can I get Perfect Mangekyou Sharingan? Once it reaches the Mangekyou, the Sharingan doesn't go blind and obtains the power of the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan."

"Sure. C'mon, dude. I'm getting tired."

I thought for a bit but couldn't think of anything. One, sensing I was struggling to think, spoke. "How about I give you a perk, huh?" I nodded since I have everything I will need in this world. "It's called Women's Delight. You will have unmatched looks, and women will fall for you and do anything you want. And plus, you'll have a gigantic you-know-what, hehe."

Women's Delight, huh? Not bad. In my old life, I was below average looking at best, so this couldn't be that bad.

"Sure, I'll take it."

One was the happiest I'd seen him. "Granted. Fucking finally, I get to take my nap."

Light started coming from my feet up, evaporating me into small light particles. When half my face was gone, I heard One say, "By the way, you won't remember any of this."

Wait. WHAT?