In Danmachi as a Witcher

"Haaah. This is the life." Cassian let out a content sigh as he sank deeper into the water. He was taking a hot bath in their suite. The deep water soothed his body, making him relax like he hadn't ever since he came to this world. He was in bliss, being forced to go unwashed for more than two weeks, aside from the occasional dip in the passing river was horrendous, making him feel like a swamp ogre.

'At least my body doesn't require to take a dump anymore due to my enhanced metabolism.' He snickered as he remembered Nico bemoaning having to wipe with leaves and glaring at him every time he teased Nico about not choosing to be a Witcher, which would always invite a lecture about how sorcerers are superior. 'Damn magic nerd.'

Cassian took a moment to enjoy the bath some more, but as pleasant as it was, time was precious and they had a lot of things to do, so he got out.

As he got dressed and exited the bathroom, he was treated to a simple meal Nico had to prepare as per his promise due to begging Cassian to let him use the bathroom first.

"Now that both of us have rested, let's talk about our future plans." Cassian started. This was an important conversation they have been putting off for a while now, due to them deciding to reach Orario first before planning.

"Yeah, we should. While this place is awesome, we don't have the money to stay here for long." Nico had already come to greatly appreciate this suite. It was a level of luxury they never had in their old world.

"I don't think that will be much of a problem, to be honest. With our abilities, we should be able to make a living in the dungeon. Even if we can't sell the magic stones yet, just the drop items will be enough to at least get us by."

"No, right now we should decide on the most important thing. What familia will we join? Considering our skills, every single familia with half a brain will welcome us with open arms, so it is completely up to us about who we decide to join." Cassian continued. This would define what path they will take in the future and their adventurer lives.

"Oh, that's easy. Hestia." Nico said excitedly. However…

"No." It was immediately shut down by Cassian.

"What? Why?! Hestia is the perfect god for us to join. She's kind, caring and trustworthy."

"She definitely has good points and is a pretty good choice. As you mentioned she is kind and devoted to her children, and definitely loves them. She also has a major advantage. Her connections. Her being close friends with a number of gods and their familias, Hephaestus in particular, would open a lot of doors for us."

"So why did you say no?"

"Because Hestia is not a good match for us personality-wise. Hestia is too kind, naive, and pacifistic. What do you think she'll be like when she finds out we have no qualms about killing? Obviously, we will assure her that we'd never think about hurting an innocent person, but will that be enough? Conflict is also pretty much guaranteed with us being the way we are. Whether it will be with Darker parts of the world, like Evilus, or greedy gods trying to acquire us due to our novelty, I would rather have a more experienced, cunning, and competent god in our corner than Hestia." 

"I-I guess you're right about that. But who do you think we should join then?" While Nico was disappointed, he could see where Cassian was coming from. He didn't think Hestia would be fine with it if they up and massacred an Evilus familia or something.

"Hmmm, I don't know. Let's go over the potential gods and familias from canon. Let's start with Hephaestus. A very promising option, Hephaestus herself is the picture of professionalism and competency. She is also quite trustworthy, loyal to those dear to her, and loving of her familia. The familia itself is powerful, influential, and wealthy, but we don't know anyone aside from Tsubaki from it. However, for all the good points…"

"It's completely unsuitable for me. Hephaestus is a smithing familia and while you fit in with your talents, a mage like me would be a complete outcast. Plus it's a crafting familia first and foremost, not an exploration one." Finished Nico, guessing where his brother was going. While Hephaestus was tempting, it wasn't what they were looking for.

"Okay next, Ganesha familia. Ganesha is an amazing god, he may act the fool, but under all that is a crafty and dauntless man. Definitely a good patron god. However, his familia has many responsibilities like, police force, security detail, guild's middlemen… If we join, we would undoubtedly be swarmed with those responsibilities too, and honestly, I'm not willing to give up so much of my free time."

"Yeah, it would be annoying having to stand guard or patrol somewhere, when I have other things I'd rather do. Hermes is also a no-go. He's too whimsical, annoying, and shady. How about Miach? He's a good guy." Expressed Nico, having to follow that blonde bastard's orders sending a shiver through his spine.

"He's definitely good. He's extremely loyal for one. Willing to go destitute just to get a prosthetic for his familia member. However, we run into the same problem with him as with Hephaestus. A production-type familia, although it's not as bad as Hephaestus due to only having one member, so it could assume a multipurpose role if we join. Let's leave it as an option."

"Next comes Takemikazuchi. Once again a good and loyal guy. It's an exploration familia, so there's that, and it comes with a massive advantage of Takemikazuchi training us in combat. The war god who could win against several level 2s with a normal human body with pure technique. I don't think I need to explain how advantageous receiving training from him would be." Cassian explained. The prospect of being trained by a war god like Takemikazuchi was very enticing.

"However there are massive problems upon joining them. First Ouka is the captain of the familia, meaning we would have to follow his orders. Not that I have problems with the guy or following someone as a leader, but I'm not fond of the idea of him being our leader. Second, they all have known each other since childhood, so integrating with them and truly becoming part of the group will be hard. And third… With the exception of Mikoto, they're deadweight. A harsh thing to say but the truth nonetheless. They will not be able to keep up and will drag us down. And once we surpass Ouka, the captain, in level, it will create friction and unease. Basically, not worth the trouble."

Out of the entire group, only Mikoto had what it took to keep up with the brothers and stay relevant. The rest would become like Hestia familia members. Deadweight. While, Welf, Haruhime, and Lili had their specialties that made them invaluable, dungeon diving was not one of them. Bell grew too fast and left them so far behind, that they either became irrelevant in combat or the author had to do asspulls and introduce inconsistencies in power levels to be able to keep them around.

After all, the likes of Lili and Haruhime, level 1s, have no business being in the lower floors, where monsters are at minimum high-level 2s. They should've been torn to shreds simply as collateral considering how destructive battles at that level are.

"Dammit… That leaves the big two then." The brothers looked at each other and then immediately called out their thoughts on it…

"No to Freya!" / "No to Freya!"

"Sigh, while Freya is not a bad god to be under in all honesty, her familia is steaming garbage. It's filled with lunatic simps who hate each other and refuse to cooperate unless Freya orders it. Being in that familia and drawing Freya's attention is a death sentence. Plus, one wrong word about Freya and we'd have the entire familia coming down on our ass as if we killed their puppy or something. Hard pass." Declared Cassian and Nico couldn't help but agree. He didn't want to be folded into a pretzel by Ottar because he made a joke about Freya or something.

"Loki familia left I guess. Honestly out of all the shown familias they are the best choice. Established, powerful, resourceful, with tons of contacts, immense influence, and plenty of mentors for both of us, the patron deity, Loki, while occasionally annoying, is very competent and cunning, while also greatly caring for her familia. But, just like others it comes with problems." Loki familia was a pretty good option and Cassian seriously deliberated joining them.

"Loki familia is very well established and has a high reputation, and that comes at a price. They have a lot of political restraints on them. They can't do whatever they want, because it will severely impact the familia, so their hands are tied in a lot of circumstances. Like when Finn forbade the others from helping Bell against Apollo. Becoming a member will place heavy binds on us. But, at the same time, Finn is a very good leader. I wouldn't mind following him, even if I would prefer to be my own boss." Cassian concluded. Despite the drawback, Loki familia was shaping up to be the best option.

"Hmm, yeah I guess you're right. Plus they have Riveria who could help me learn and practice magic." Nico would also be happy to have Riveria as a mentor.

"Oh, how could we forget the greatest familia ever?!" Suddenly Nico exclaimed in a dramatic fashion.

"Which one?" Cassian was confused, as he was sure they didn't miss anyone.

"The Apollo Familia of course!" As if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Cassian snorted at that and decided to play along. "Oh gods, how could I have committed such a grave mistake as forgetting the magnificent sun god?! Heavens shall strike me down for this sin!"

Both brothers couldn't hold it anymore and broke out in a hearty laugh.

"Hahaha, honestly, It's a bit of a shame Apollo is a dick here. We could've joined him, fought glorious battles, and after emerging victorious, proclaimed to the heavens, 'PRAISE THE SUN'". Shouted Cassian while striking the salutation pose, with his brother quickly following suit, praising the sun, before both of them broke out in fits of laughter.

Joking aside, they spent the next half an hour thinking things over and deciding what choice to make, until Cassian spoke up after much pondering.

"Hey brother, what do you think about finding our own god and familia, one that was not shown in the series, one that didn't have any members in it yet, and founding our own familia that we can raise to the top?" This was the option Cassian came up with. If they could not find a perfect familia for themselves, then they would just need to create one.

Nico's eyes widened. "You do realize the problems with that right? For the gods listed, we already know their general personalities, if we find a completely new one, we'll be flying blind!"

"Yeah but how do we guarantee that our information is accurate? Jump-chan did say that there were some changes to this world. Plus I'm not saying, we're gonna randomly pick a god. We'll do scouting and gather information on those who interest us, before making a choice. See if they're fit for our criteria."

"Agh dammit, fine, let's do it your way. How are gonna go about this?" Nico decided after thinking about it for a while. Creating and building up their own familia did sound exciting.

"Well, let's go to the guild first. We'll be able to get more information there." With that, the brothers got up and left their new suite to go to one of Orario's most important places.

Making their way through the streets of Orario, the brothers made sure to drink in the amazing sights all around them. It was still exceedingly novel for them to be seeing fantasy races. The beastfolk especially were a wonder to observe with their animal ears and tails. More than once, they caught themselves wanting to pet and touch those furry appendages.

After walking for 10 minutes, they reached the guild doors. The place they were currently staying was very close to the Hephaestus Northwest shop and Hostess of Fertility. Located on the main street between the Guild's main building complex and the Tower of Babel.

The outside of the guild was bustling with activity. Numerous adventurers went about their day, entering and exiting the building for various purposes. Cassian and Nico made their way inside and were met with an orderly chaos, where everyone was rushing about their business, but still somehow peaceful.

The brothers looked over the counter where they would need to consult the guild staff and…

"Shit, not another line…"

Truly, the world was cruel.

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The discussion was quite a long one. Some people may have been bored by it, but honestly, I really wanted to do it. I never really see, in fanfics, characters actually sit down and heavily contemplate a decision as massive and life-altering as to which familia to join. It's almost always short and simple like: "I decided to join this familia because they suit me the best" or "I decided to join this familia because I like them". So, I wanted to actually dive deep into it and discuss Cassian and Nico's thought processes about who to join and why.