Chapter 1: I Shouldn't Have Done That (1)
I'm a roleplayer.
Someone who establishes character settings according to their in-game character's class and plays while strictly following them.
Chatting? Of course I would type messages in character. Even with the market now conquered by virtual reality games, which didn't require written messages in favor of verbal communication, it made no difference to me.
A roleplayer who succumbed to shame wasn't a real roleplayer.
“Talk more and see if you can handle my wrath."
So I was playing a new game, as over-immersive as usual, faithfully acting according to my character setting—a Demon Knight with a Demon sealed in his right arm—when…
“Log out."
「This command cannot be carried out.」
“…? Log out."
「This command cannot be carried out.」
“…???”
I realized something.
I was doomed. No, I was royally fucked.
* * *
No matter whether one was a casual or a hardcore gamer, everyone had at least one game they couldn't forget. A game so memorable that it might never leave your head, or something that made you feel deep regret.
For me, that was Legend of Heroes.
Simply put, it was a domestic PC-exclusive MMORPG that came out when I was still a teenager. It was incredibly popular in its early days, but it was also considered an ill-fated game due to quickly declining after many key developers quit.
The main reasons for its decline were the paid loot boxes introduced during its 2nd-anniversary patch, balance-breaking new classes, an increasingly incoherent storyline due to the addition of weird settings, and a failure in management… Although that wasn't important.
It also didn't matter that the game that was supposed to last for twenty years regretfully ended after just five when I was in my 20s.
There was only one thing to say about Legend of Heroes: the regret felt by the core developers who left the company upon seeing the game’s early demise.
“Dude, my heart is pounding so hard. What should I do?"
“Ah, good job."
“I can't believe there are only 30 minutes left until the launch."
How deep their regret must have been. Those developers, who established themselves in the industry by releasing all kinds of new hit games under the name of their freshly made company, Deep Sea Pearl, declared they would remake Legend of Heroes.
No one expected them to do it, yet they went ahead and bought the rights to the game and announced a remake.
“I'm not dreaming, am I?"
“Yeah, you're actually dreaming. It's about time you wake up."
“Really…?"
“…I'm kidding. Are you for real?"
“No, but this is just too… too unreal."
Furthermore, they didn't just redo it. As if they had honed their skills razor-sharp just for this, they remade it from the ground up.
They released it as a single-player game, not an MMO. They changed the genre from action side-scroller to open-world ARPG as well.
They even updated the platform it would run on to go with the times. That meant it could be played using a virtual reality capsule instead of a PC. The game was also upgraded to VR to match.
At that point, it wasn't too farfetched to say that this was just the delusion of a regretful gamer.
“It would be more believable to say this is a dream…"
That’s why I was talking about it all being a dream and unreal 30 minutes before the launch.
Legend of Heroes was the first game I couldn't forget about and why I fell in love with games. It even had a minor impact on my career choice.
And now it was coming back into my life? But it didn't just come back; it returned as this gorgeous, godly game.
It was honestly fortunate I didn't pass out from how hyped I was. I was overjoyed beyond measure.
“You were also completely obsessed with that game 15 years ago…"
“It's because you haven't played it before… If you had, you'd know how I feel…"
Sigh. I hadn't been this nervous since the announcement of my CSAT results. I didn't even feel this way when it was decided my work would get exported overseas.
I felt like my heart was about to explode. It seemed to get squeezed tighter and tighter as I watched the time tick by.
“What if the game doesn't live up to your expectations?"
“Don't you even dare say something as stupid as that. I'm dying over here."
Of course, I knew that if I held such high expectations, I was more likely to be disappointed when actually playing it. There was no way I wouldn't know that with how many games I’d played and beaten.
But… But…!
“If it's even half as good as the trailer, I'll be happy…!"
“Sigh." “Uwaarg! It's only been two minutes! Just when will these next twenty-eight minutes pass?!"
“No clue, dude."
My whining only caused my friend's face to crumple up. This man, who didn't even try pretending to sympathize with me, was a monster who had never even touched a single game.
“Are you really my friend…?"
“If I'm not your friend, then what am I? By the way, are you going to… What's it called? That thing you're so good at, are you going to do it?"
“What?”
“You know, that thing. Role something?"
“I've already set everything up."
“Crazy, you already planned it out?"
I mean, the settings before were just me playing around. Proper character settings aren't just made in a day.
Of course, some people could churn out these concepts in no time, but I wasn't like that. Character research was really important to me, maybe because I majored in film and theater.
“So what's the setting?"
“Ah. First, this is what the character will look like."
It was a good thing I drew it up before creating any other settings.
I picked up an iPad lying on the sofa. A picture slowly appeared on the seven-year-old device's screen.
“Wow. What the hell is that…?"
The picture on the screen showed the following:
Starting from his head, he had silver hair on the left and black hair on the right.
His skin was so pale that one might mistake him for a corpse, its color almost grayish-white.
His left eye was gray, and his right was a mix of gray and red. However, they lacked highlights or anything else, making them seem dead, a feature only further emphasized by the dark circles beneath them.
“This is crazy. Seriously.”
I’m an advocate of the theory that one should start with the character’s appearance when building a setting.
As such, I reveled in my friend’s reaction. Some people might call it ridiculous for a 30-year-old like me to do something like this at my age, but it wasn’t like roleplaying would hurt anyone.
“What’s wrong with his hair?”
“According to the setting I made up, it has been stained by the power of a Demon.”
“Are you crazy? What power of a Demon?”
“Ah… The class’s name is ‘Demon Knight’.”
I pulled up the official page, as it would be much easier to understand if he saw the setting.
「Demon Knight | After the Demon that slaughtered his family possessed his arm, this squire abandoned his path to become an official knight and started wandering.
He despises the Demon residing in his right arm but through it possesses superhuman strength. His goal is to kill all Demons.
His techniques are as fast as they are powerful. His temper, however, is quite sensitive and sharp.」
“Oh…”
“I actually wanted to start as a Priest, but… the first time I played this game, I chose to be a Demon Knight.”
I preferred the Priest class, but because this game was so nostalgic, I opted to use the same class as I did back then. I was going to play it multiple times, anyway.
“Besides, playing as cold and cool characters is the best.”
“Damn, that’s hilarious.”
My friend, giggling to himself after hearing my explanation, zoomed out of the picture to see his whole face again. The entire image of the character was visible on the iPad once more.
“Can you even make your character look like that?”
“I should.”
Considering the other popular games these days, this kind of customization was just the basics of the basics. Besides, many called the original Legend of Heroes a god-tier game because of its insane freedom of customization, so there was no way the development team wouldn't expand on that aspect if they hadn’t gone crazy.
* * *
* * *
“I also chose to give him one of the outfits that came with the deluxe edition of the game.”
“Did you spend even more money on this?”
I mean, if you could get the OST, an art book, and behind-the-scenes content just by spending a few thousand won, wouldn’t you call it a blessing that they even provided outfits for every class?
They even allowed you to put them on your character as soon as you started the game, and there were so many to choose from.
I smiled proudly as I looked at the character reflected on the screen.
An eyepatch covered his right eye, and his right arm sported a gauntlet. He wore a long, black, split hem coat with a red cross embroidered over the back. His legs were covered in matte black leather pants and knee-high boots… and while one couldn’t see it well, he wore bandages inside his top.
While I was the one who’d drawn this picture, I had to say that this was the perfect setup. It couldn’t get any more stylish than this.
“Is it an online game?”
“Well, playing with others online is possible, but it’s not like how you do it in MMORPGs.”
If one connected to the internet and used the matchmaking option, they could play with up to four people. Even then, play together was only possible during boss fights or in PVP.
That just further proved that the development team almost completely abandoned the online concept.
“So others can’t even see it, right? And yet you still bought that stuff?”
“Dude. Roleplaying has nothing to do with other people being able to see it.”
Just what was roleplaying? Did one do it to show others? Well, I was doing it so I could say stuff I never in my right mind would, all thanks to anonymity.
I raised my thumb and smiled, to which my friend began rolling on the floor, laughing while clutching his stomach. I had no idea why he always acted like that, despite it not being the first or even second time I’d done something like this.
Was that the difference between a normal person and a roleplayer?
“Damn, you’re really crazy.”
“What’s wrong with it? I’m doing it with ‘my money’, you know?”
“That’s true, but still…”
My friend switched back to the Demon Knight’s official page and carefully reviewed the last line.
“Isn’t there already an official setting for his personality? Then what’s the point in creating new character settings and roleplaying?”
After hearing what he said, I couldn’t respond for a moment. Was there any point in making a character setting when an official one already existed? Hah, I didn’t want to go into that much detail.
My lips twitched like I was an enthusiast whom a normal person had just asked about their obsession.
I should calm down. If I got too excited, a newbie like him would just get scared and run away. So I had to be as gentle as possible… Gentle…
But what was ‘gentle’? How could I act like that?
“You have now entered the second stage. Just ask me anything. I’ll tell you all about the second stage.”
“Ah, no need, I’m sorry.”
“The setting given by the official site is that he has a sharp and sensitive temper, and his purpose is to kill all Demons, right? But there are different types of sharpness, right? There’s even this setting where the Demon that killed his family dwells in his arm, right? Think about it. Does that mean he originally had a nasty temper, or did he become like that because of the Demon’s influence?! That’s where these different interpretations come into play!!”
“Aah, please forgive me.”
“What if his personality became so rough due to constant anxiety over never knowing when that Demon would run rampant again? What if the reason for his rude behavior toward those around him was to push them away so they wouldn’t be harmed by that Demon sealed within him? Then at his core, isn’t he actually really kind?!”
“I was wrong, so please.”
“That interpretation is what my character setting is based on! A character who acts hard and prickly on the outside but is really soft on the inside, traumatized and really lonely because he just pushes away everyone around him! I want to tell a story about this character that highlights the scars he’s been afflicted with!”
“Have mercy.”
“What do you mean, ‘Have mercy’? I haven’t even started yet. There’s still so much to talk about. The reason why he’s wrapped in bandages like that and his two-toned hair!”
“Oh god.”
“Oh, I also prepared some lines for him. Do you want to see them?!”
“Ah, no, that’s fine.”
Why did he pull back when he was the one who asked? He couldn’t just back out. He should listen to me more.
He still had to listen to the settings I meticulously crafted after deliberately looking through old videos and laboriously disassembling the class trailer videos frame by frame!
I grabbed the shoulder of this friend of mine who was about to run away and sat him in front of me as I started explaining even more things to him.
He only wore a gauntlet on his right arm because he hated that arm so much that he didn’t even want to see it, and he was actually covering his changed eye with that eyepatch, not the unchanged one, to show his determination. These were details that would probably never be brought up in the game.
“You crazy otaku bastard…”
After talking to him for 20 minutes about this and that, my dear friend ended up covering his ears and shaking his head as if he were out of his mind.
“Hey, but I’m not even a full-blown otaku.”
“In the eyes of the general public, if you end up spending hundreds of thousands of won on some game, then you are most definitely an otaku.”
“Is that so?”
I couldn’t deny it.
“Sigh, you disgusting bastard. Alright, I have to head out.”
“Already?”
“Aren’t there only five minutes until your beloved game launches, you crazy otaku?”
“Ah.”
He was right. There were only five minutes left because we’d talked for more than twenty.
“Anyway, when will you be available again?”
“I prepared to be in Full Dive for about three days.”
“I still haven't forgotten that one time you said you’d Full Dive for like four days but ended up doing it for ten.”
Full Dive was a function that allowed one to continuously play a game for more than 24 hours without eating or sleeping.
It wasn’t easy to use due to the exclusive, incredibly expensive solutions and nutritional supplements needed for it, plus the disadvantage that one’s real-life relationships might suffer. However, it boasted the best performance if one wanted to really focus on a game.
Also, after being locked in the capsule for an extended period, one would feel very exhausted after exiting the game, needing to stretch and exercise for a day or two.
Last time, I decided to Full Dive for four days, rested a day, and dove for another four days before resting another day afterward, making it ten days total.
“Anyway. If I don’t contact you first, call me.”
“Okay.”
“And stop playing games so much. You’ll end up hurting your body.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
My family and friends scolded me a lot back then, so I wouldn’t let it happen again. How would I hurt my body…? I was using that expensive, exclusive solution just to prevent me from getting harmed, but I didn’t bother answering him.
I was grateful he was worrying about me, after all. He even came over because he knew we wouldn’t be able to see each other for a few days. That’s what you call friendship.
Katchak.
I turned my back to the closed door.
This time, I absolutely had to log out of this game after three days, no matter how fun it might be. That was the promise I had made myself.
「Time remaining until game start: 00:00:03」
「Time remaining until game start: 00:00:02」
「Time remaining until game start: 00:00:01」
「Time remaining until game start: 00:00:01」
「DLC items are being installed…」
Ding!
「Game start.」
However, had I known I would end up breaking that promise through no fault of my own, I wouldn’t have turned that game on to begin with.
「Your journey to kill all Demons is about to begin.」
No, even putting everything else aside, I shouldn’t have roleplayed as that character.
[‘It’ destroyed my life in but a single moment.]
The opening video started before my eyes. No, it was sent directly into my mind.