Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 36



“Alright, here we go.”

A deep voice, and at the same time, a creak as the door opens.

Two figures slowly walk in through the opened door.

One is a woman who looks quite young, almost like the suit doesn’t fit her at all.

She seems to be in her early twenties at most.

The other is an old man.

He looks pretty aged but emits an aura of subtle intimidation.

He must be someone of high rank, accompanied by his secretary.

“Please have a seat.”

“Yeah, sit down.”

The old man responds lightly when his secretary urges him to take a seat.

Then they walked over to my spot.

“Come here.”

Out of nowhere, the old man tells me to come forward.

I glared at him without answering, thinking,
‘What’s with this guy? He’s all over the place. Should I send him off a bit quicker?’

[Just hold on. If you hit him, he will really turn into a one-way ticket.]

At that moment, Professor Pilyong beside me urgently whispered.

“Shinwoo, get out of the way quick!!”

“Ah.”

From what I could see, the seat I was sitting in was right in front of the old man’s spot.

No wonder the cushion was so damn good.

As I quickly got up, the old man sat down, and I awkwardly stood beside him.

But…

“…Could you please move to the other side?”

“Uh, sure.”

The seat next to me was also taken by the secretary, so I ended up standing on the opposite side.

So here we were, the old man with me and the secretary on either side.

The old man gave me a glance after sitting down and turned his attention back to the meeting room.

“Nice to meet you all. You probably know who I am, but let me introduce myself for those who don’t.”

He suddenly pushed his chair back, crossed his legs, and rested them on the table.

A pose that would sound terrible even in a regular place was now happening in the meeting room.

[Wasn’t South Korea the land of courtesy?]
‘Looks like he has dementia or something.’

However, no one in the meeting room dared to speak up.

They just tried their best to avoid making eye contact.

In the slightly awkward atmosphere…

“I am the chairman of this academy. Jang In-hyuk, they call me.”

The old man finally opened his mouth.

Seeing him speak, he really is the chairman.

‘No wonder this damn cushion is top-notch.’

[But look at the professor next to you. He looks like he wants to die.]

‘F*ck that. I should let them taste a bit of rank!’

The face of Professor Pilyong right next to me really looked like he was at death’s door.

But that didn’t matter.

The chairman continued to speak.

“Based on the current situation, it seems we are about to judge the case of student Kim Shinwoo.”

“Yes, Chairman. This is Professor Park Mi-ran. Currently, student Kim Shinwoo is suspected of hiding his ability with the support of an Illusion Ability User.”

Amidst it all, Professor Park Mi-ran confidently stepped forward without showing any fear.

The chairman looked at her with interest.

“Do you think this student concealed his abilities with the help of an Illusion Ability User?”

“Yes, especially the original version coat this student possesses is evidence that he has made contact with the Illusion Ability User!”

“Hmm…”

The chairman appeared to ponder something before suddenly straightening his posture.

He clasped his hands under his chin and continued.

“First of all, to get to the conclusion, this student has absolutely no connection to the Illusion Ability User.”

“B-but… that coat!”

“Oh, that’s something I can vouch for. I know that person. That bastard… I mean, that person is definitely not an Illusion Ability User.”

The chairman suddenly chuckled, muttering quietly, ‘It would have been better if he were an Illusion Ability User.’

Of course, I was the only one who heard that.

“That can’t be…”

“What I mean is, I feel like you all are looking at this too narrowly.”

At that moment, the chairman suddenly unfolded his hands and started pointing at me.

“Is there no one here who thinks this student awakened his ability right here?”

“That’s ridiculous!!! It’s more plausible for a dog to become a human!!!”

The fierce rebuttal of an elderly female professor who had been leading the meeting from the start.

Somehow, it felt rather f*cked up.

[That’s a bit harsh.]

‘This b*tch is acting so cocky. Should I just tear her mouth apart?’

[…You’re the one being harsher.]

The chairman then genuinely expressed his regret.

“Oh dear. I thought professors at the academy would have more flexible thinking.”

“You know, Chairman, that all abilities manifest only before turning twenty, right?”

“Who decided that?”

The chairman’s mood shifted.

From curiosity to a bit hostile.

That alone was enough to weaken the previously aggressive demeanor of the female professor.

“That claim has been long proven through countless statistics and experimental results.”

“Who fixed the awakening point to before twenty years of age?”

“But…”

“Early Hunters were not always like that, right? Try to think a bit more flexibly.”

The chairman yawned as if bored.

Of course, nobody else could say a word.

“There’s such a rigid mindset. How come someone younger than me has a more hardened way of thinking?”

“Then Chairman, what will you do about student Kim Shinwoo?”

“Let’s watch. I’m curious to see how far this newly awakened kid can go.”

“….Understood.”

Professor Park Mi-ran seemed to have nothing to retort against the chairman’s words and just let it go.

She had a displeased look, but what could she do?

[The power of authority is quite something.]

‘You f*ckers better play along.’

At that moment, the chairman suddenly turned his gaze to me.

“And you. Was it Kim Shinwoo?”

“What’s up?”

“Come a bit closer.”

Not sure why, I moved closer.

As we were standing quite near each other.

“Ryu Kang-hyuk. Is that bastard doing well?”

The chairman whispered in my ear.

Words I absolutely did not expect.

[Looks like he knew about that person.]

‘What’s up with this guy?’

I was quite surprised but didn’t want to show any fear.

So I whispered back in the same manner,

“He’s probably busy with some intense filthy something right now.”

“Hahahahahaha!!”

[You should really phrase that more politely.]

‘Agarbathy?’

[……]

The chairman burst into hearty laughter as soon as he heard my words.

Of course, since I was standing right there, the laughter was too loud.

‘My ears hurt, you bastard.’

My ears were indeed hurting.

The chairman then distanced himself from me, starting to speak again.

“Anyway, I will guarantee this student’s matter under my name, so don’t worry too much.”

“Then how should we register this student’s ability?”

“Let’s say he can basically only enhance his physical abilities.”

“Will that suffice for government registration?”

“That’s something you all need to figure out yourselves. Why do you think I pay you salaries?”

Professor Park Mi-ran couldn’t refute the chairman’s words.

This was pure bliss.

Seeming done with it all, the chairman suddenly shot up from his seat.

“Anyway, do well in the remaining meetings. I’m concluding this matter here.”

“Let’s go, Chairman.”

With that, the two exited the meeting room.

Then came an awkward silence.

The elderly female professor broke that silence and began to speak.

“Then, there will be no further action regarding student Kim Shinwoo. Is there any objection?”

“……”

“If not, then let’s wrap up the fact that this student’s ability will be registered with the government at the academy.”

A colossal storm, akin to a natural disaster, decided my fate.

Of course, I didn’t really care about the outcome.

Because right now, my only interest was…

The empty chair of the chairman.

To be honest,

The cushion was too damn good.

*

“Chairman, was there really a need to go this far?”

“Then do you have a better idea?”

“…”

A bland end to the conversation between Chairman Jang In-hyuk and his secretary.

They moved towards the chairman’s office, maintaining silence.

Once they stepped inside the office, the silence was finally broken.

“Are you curious why I did all of that?”

“Honestly, I am.”

“Then, look at this.”

Chairman Jang In-hyuk suddenly handed over a piece of paper.

“This… could it be?”

“Yeah, it’s Ryu Kang-hyuk that bastard again. Want to take a look?”

“Understood.”

The secretary cautiously unfolded the paper.

It looked a bit crumpled, as if someone had been too mad to keep it flat, but I didn’t bother pointing that out.

What was written on it was a bit longer than before.

[Nah, you bastard.]
[Proceed.]

Of course, relatively speaking.

“……”

“If I hadn’t intervened and that student had been expelled from the academy, what do you think would have happened?”

“There wouldn’t be any big issue, would there?”

“You don’t understand who Ryu Kang-hyuk is, do you?”

The chairman’s face subtly showed a hint of fear.

The secretary could certainly notice the subtle change in his expression.

“If that student were expelled, maybe we wouldn’t have told Ryu Kang-hyuk about it.”

“Then would it have been a problem?”

“But what if Ryu Kang-hyuk learned about that fact?”

“I don’t know.”

Chairman Jang In-hyuk had an expression that seemed he didn’t want to think any further.

Yet, he calmly uttered one sentence to answer the secretary’s inquiry.

“The academy would have changed from what it originally was.”

“…Because of just that student?”

The secretary displayed a look of disbelief.

“That guy is still unpredictable.”

“Just looking at the letter reveals that much.”

“But if that lunatic gets angry, who can stop him?”

“Do you really think he could destroy the academy on his own? The faculty is quite strong here.”

It certainly was as the secretary said.

As a state-run establishment, even if the faculty’s mindset wasn’t normal, they were all skilled individuals.

So the secretary thought no one would take him on easily.

However…

“That’s exactly the problem.”

“Eh?…”

At least Chairman Jang In-hyuk’s thoughts differed.

Perhaps it was only natural.

After all…

“I once tried to provoke him by gathering all sorts of folks, causing a stir.”

“…From the sound of it, the results weren’t good?”

“The damage on our side was too immense. Everyone except Ryu Kang-hyuk was just hanging by a thread.”

“……”

Having been through it, he knew.

“Normally, he wouldn’t have fought, but it just so happened that one of the people I gathered that day caused things to escalate.”

“Do you know what the fight was about?”

The secretary asked the chairman, who smiled slightly.

With an expression that seemed a bit nonsensical even now.

“Ryu Kang-hyuk’s sandwich was hit and fell to the ground. That’s it.”

“That’s insane.”

“Indeed. I never imagined he’d go on a killing spree just because of that.”

The chairman’s face appeared to carry a frightened expression as if he didn’t want to recall it.

Soon after, Chairman Jang In-hyuk stood up and grabbed the doorknob to exit his office.

“Anyway, it’s best to avoid anything related to that crazy dog as much as possible.”

“The student is like a sandwich to Ryu Kang-hyuk, isn’t he?”

“Exactly. He may be retired, but he hasn’t lost his teeth yet.”

As the chairman opened the door and stepped out, the secretary quickly followed him.

“Alright, let’s go now.”

“…Where to?”

“Are you not tired of work?”

“Thanks.”

The last words spoken were the fastest the secretary had said all day.

*

There’s nothing left involving me anymore.

What remains is only to leisurely watch.

However, regarding the professors’ meeting…

“So how about introducing stir-fried sausages and vegetables in the professor’s cafeteria?”

“I’m in favor.”

“I object. Please also add tail soup.”

“This too is favored.”

“Yes, this matter has been decided unanimously. I will convey the proposal to the cafeteria.”

I found it far more childish and petty than I had imagined.

[Is this really what I knew about professors?]

‘Couldn’t it get even worse than this?’

The next topic was about the treatment of research students.

And it was regarding working hours.

“This time it concerns the commuting of research students. To maintain dignity, we propose having them wash up at the dormitory once every two days.”

“I oppose. That’s too short. Can’t it be once every three days?”

“I have an objection. Since research students are not under labor law, once a week would be appropriate.”

With the last professor’s comment, the majority of professors wore satisfied expressions.

At that moment, one careful suggestion was presented.

“Could it possibly be once every two weeks?”

Suddenly, everyone began murmuring, revealing excitement.

However, a fierce rebuttal flew in immediately.

“You need to remember the last time. A research student treated like a homeless person got expelled from the academy.”

“That’s unacceptable! We can’t lose even a moment’s worth of precious labor!”

Professors cried out, telling each other not to say terrible things.

Some were even tearing up at the mere thought of it.

“Then does everyone agree to once a week from now on?”

“I agree.”

“I also agree.”

“Is there anyone who opposes?”

“……”

“Alright. So from now on, research students will only be allowed to go to the dormitory once a week.”

All the professors began clapping and cheering wildly.

Everyone seemed like allies, embracing each other and sharing in intense joy.

Even Professor Pilyong and Professor Mi-ran, who were growling just a moment ago, were now exchanging heated hugs.

[Are these bastards even human?]

‘They’re just f*ckers.’

They were bastards without a drop of human blood flowing in them.



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