ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!

As I sang a melodic tune, letting my voice drift through the air, I couldn't help but smirk, knowing it was bound to get her attention. "Hey, I'm serious about the kiss. Do you think I'm playing?" I thought back to my college days, remembering how my first girlfriend left me for some ikemen guy on the very first day. It stung then, but in this new world? I wasn't going to waste my chance.

"Oh Shania~ my beautiful Shania~~" I sang with feeling, mixing sincere desire with playful teasing to pull her into my orbit. I didn't care how bold I was being. I was in a new world, and I wanted what I desired.

She had to be close now, right? She couldn't just ignore me forever... could she?

Huh? Why is she coming here? With a key?

I paused mid-song, my curiosity piqued. "Oh Shania~~" I tried to continue, but my focus shifted to her.

She walked up to my cell door, her expression unreadable. Fumbling with the key, she swung the door open with a soft click.

"Hmm?" I tilted my head in confusion. "What's going on?"

"Just shut up…" she muttered, her tone firm yet low, almost… embarrassed?

And then it happened.

Shania leaned toward me, her movements deliberate but hesitant at first. Before I could process it, her lips pressed against mine.

It wasn't just a peck—it was passionate and real. Her lips were soft, warm, and slightly sweet, holding a secret she hadn't shared with anyone else.

I froze, my brain short-circuited. She was… kissing me. Not slapping me, not yelling at me—actually kissing me. For real.

When she pulled away, her face was flushed, and I felt my heart pounding like a drum.

"T-there," she said, avoiding eye contact. "Now will you shut up and behave?"

I sat there, utterly shocked, fingers touching my lips. "Shania… you… you really kissed me…"

"Don't get any ideas," she snapped, her voice a little shaky. "I just did it to shut you up. Nothing more!"

But the way she stormed out and slammed the door told me otherwise.

I lay back on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling as my fingers grazed my lips. Her kiss lingered in my mind, sweet and unforgettable.

Was this what they meant by a kiss stealing your breath away? Or was it just because it was my first kiss ever?

I couldn't stop thinking about her. Shania—so hot, so beautiful, so undeniably sexy. Her fiery temper and tsundere vibe made it all the more intriguing. I caught a glimpse of her softer side in that kiss.

My heart raced just thinking about her. Her smooth skin, luscious lips, those sharp eyes piercing right through me. And to think—she was half-human, half-elf.

"At last," I whispered to myself, a goofy grin spreading across my face. "My first kiss with a stunning woman like Shania."

I rolled onto my side, hugging the pillow as if it could somehow recreate the feeling of her lips.

"This world… maybe it's not so bad after all."

I didn't talk much, lost in thought as I replayed the taste of her kiss over and over—it was intoxicating, and I was completely unaware of my surroundings.

I barely noticed Borrock entering the room, handing a stack of documents to Shania while she quickly gave orders.

Suddenly, I blinked and realized I was in a moving cage, the rhythmic rattling of wheels beneath me.

"Huh? Ehh? Where am I? Hey!!" I shouted, jolted back to reality.

One of the nearby guards glanced at me, unimpressed. "Oh? Relax. Madam Shania asked us to escort you to the capital city."

"Ehhh?! I'm not a prisoner, right?" I cried, clutching the bars dramatically.

The guard shrugged. "Nope, you're not. But Madam Shania said she doesn't want you staying in that town anymore."

"Noooo!!! Beautiful Shania! My love! My future wife! Why would you do this to me?!"

The guards burst into laughter, one shaking his head. "Crazy guy really is crazy. No wonder she couldn't handle him anymore."

I slumped back against the bars, staring out at the passing scenery. "Shaniaaa!" I howled into the wind, exaggeratedly sobbing and clutching the bars like a melodramatic actor.

One guard snorted. "Hey, crazy guy. This journey's gonna be long, so why don't you just sit back and stay calm for once?"

I sighed dramatically, flopping against the bars. "Haaaa... fine... whatever."

The other guard chuckled, elbowing his buddy. "Haha, someone got rejected hard!"

I perked up, wiping away my fake tears. "Yeah, yeah... rejected or not, at least I got a kiss! A real kiss!"

The guards froze. One turned to me, wide-eyed. "Whaaaaaaat?! Really?! Madam Shania kissed you?!"

The other scoffed, shaking his head. "Don't believe him. He's a crazy guy. He probably dreamed it up."

I smirked, tapping my temple. "Oh, it was no dream. Her lips were sweet and soft, like petals of a rare flower. A passionate kiss only a chosen man could experience."

The guards stared at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Crazy guy strikes again!" one cackled. "Keep dreaming, buddy."

I leaned back with a self-satisfied grin. "Dream or not, I'm the one she kissed. Jealous?"

Their laughter filled the air, and I silently relished my small victory.

"Hey, guards?" I called out, leaning lazily against the bars of my moving cell.

"What now, crazy guy?" one sighed, clearly bracing for more nonsense.

I smirked. "You don't really need to keep me in this moving cage, do you? I'm harmless! Completely innocent!"

The guard laughed. "Hah! If we didn't do that, you'd just turn around and head back to town to pester Madam Shania again. No way!"

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Ugh! Fine. I'll just find my way back later." My mischievous grin only made the guards laugh harder.

"Hahaha! If you say so, crazy guy." One wiped a tear of laughter from his eye. "So, let me ask you something."

I perked up. "Hmm? Sure, what's on your mind?"

The guard grinned wickedly. "What's the name of the town where Madam Shania is?"

I froze, caught off guard. "Err... Baxton? No, uh... Guilot? Maxem? Turos?"

The guards erupted into laughter, slapping their knees. "Hahaha! You don't even know the name of the town?! And you're professing your love?!"

I scratched my head sheepishly. "Hey! I was distracted by her beauty! Who cares about town names with a goddess in front of you?"

Their laughter grew louder, echoing down the road. I crossed my arms with a huff, muttering, "I'll figure it out later... somehow."

"Hey, crazy guy," one called out, his voice dripping with mischief.

"Huh? What?" I replied, confused.

Before I could react, something slipped over my eyes. "Wha—?! Hey! What's with the blindfold?!"

Then I felt ropes tightening around my wrists. "What's going on?! Why are you tying me up?!"

One chuckled. "So you won't know which way we're taking you. Hahaha! Don't worry, it's just Madam Shania's orders."

I struggled against the ropes, but they were firm. "Damn you guys! You're enjoying this, aren't you?!"

They burst out laughing, clearly having a great time at my expense. One even patted my shoulder. "Relax, crazy guy. It's for your own good. You'll thank us later."

I huffed, slumping back against the cage wall. "Shania, you're playing hard to get, aren't you?" I muttered under my breath.

Their laughter only grew louder as the cart rattled onward, leaving me both frustrated and determined.

( End of Chapter )