Ketch Me as I Fall

No…

No. 

No.

No.

That did not just happen.

The man I loved did not just die. His life was not just taken from me so quickly. Orion, this demonic soul full of hatred and jealousy, had not just killed him without a second thought or care in the world.

No. This was all some twisted, sick nightmare. That was it. That had to be it. That was the reason I saw the light fade from his eye before Orion had retaken control. That was why scales were running along my skin. Because there was no other way I had just lost him. Not after finding him again after so long. Not after coming so close to having a family. Not after finally starting to be truly happy.

Someone was screaming. 

It was a sound beyond the battle. Like it was coming from a different world altogether. It was heart-wrenching and full of so much pain. So much grief. Like an injured, dying animal giving out its last cry for help before being slaughtered.

Time had seemed to fracture the moment it was done. The moment everything had been taken from me. The moment Orion's hands had grasped Ketch' neck and twisted, something in me had broken. I was on my knees in the dirt and mud and blood. And my throat hurt.

Oh.

I was screaming.

Orion just stood there. Still wearing his face. Smiling like he had won a damn prize. Like this was exactly what he had wanted. As if this would let me play right into his hands.

The blade in his hand still dripped with my blood. And the smug smile on his face matched the satisfied, sadistic look in his onyx eyes. The eyes that had swallowed up those moonstone eyes I had loved so much.

"I warned you." He said. His voice was calm, mocking me in that voice that had once held only sweet nothings for me. "Love makes you weak."

I don't remember doing it. Don't remember giving my legs the command to stand or move. But I was on my feet again anyway. Fists clenched at my sides, claws digging so far into my palms I could feel the blood running down them, pooling in the mud below my feet. Fire pulsed under my skin like a second heartbeat, and scales started to spread again. Up my neck. Down my spine. Continued up my arms. Something inside of me had broken, had given way to something darker. And I didn't care to stop it anymore.

I welcomed it.

"Do you feel it?" Orion dared to ask, circling me slowly. As if he was the predator assessing its prey. "That ache in your chest? That hollow, burning rage in your veins? That's what I've been after all along. The real you."

"Shut. Up" I growled, the voice no longer my own. Hoarse and void of anything other than rage.

Orion laughed. "You were mine once. Long before that pathetic little human crawled his way back into your bed. I was there for you. I held you on the nights you had nightmares. I was there when your new powers were too much to handle alone. I was the one who told you it was ok to be the monster they all thought you were!" His voice rose. "And when you left to go play house with them again, I let you. I waited months for you to come back. But when you did, you'd changed. You'd fallen in love with him. A fucking mortal! Something so soft. So…breakable."

"I said…"

"We could have been gods, Alex!" He sneered. "We could have ruled Hell together and made everyone bow to us!"

"SHUT! UP!"

We collided like thunder, amethyst flames and onyx shadows erupting around us in a violent riptide. My fist made the first contact, catching him just under the jaw. It sent him skidding backward across the dirt. His foot caught on a rock and he flipped, landing in a crouch before looking up at me again, still smiling. Like he had truly wanted this. Had been waiting for it.

That was good. Because I wasn't going to hold back anymore.

I went at him again, this time faster, harder, violet energy trailing from my hands like a comet. He threw up his arm and tried to block the blow, but my claws gripped his forearm and tore it away. Orion stumbled back, scrambling to regain his footing before I was behind him, dragging my claws down his back. The energy that burst from my fingertips was blinding, white-hot, rage.

"You don't get to wear his face!" I screamed at him.

He caught my wrist, spun, and slammed his head into mine. My vision blinked black for a moment and it was my turn to stumble. He drove a fist into my ribs, then another. I could feel the impact crack against them, crack them, but it didn't stop me. I couldn't stop. Not now.

He swung with his blade.

I ducked. Grabbed his wrist and twisted it hard.

Orion hissed, deep onyx energy flaring in his palm. I slammed my head into his nose hard enough to drop him, and let him drag me down with him. We hit the ground together and wrestled for control like wild animals. Dust and flames of energy exploded from us, the air howling from the force of each blow.

Every second felt like an eternity.

"Let me in." That voice growled inside my skull again. "Let me finish this. You are pain. You are wrath! Let me be your hands!"

I shook my head, trying desperately to clear my thoughts and focus on the task before me.

"No."

"He took him from you. He wore him. Defiled him! Why are you hesitating!"

"I need to end him myself," I growled aloud.

Orion took my jaw then, forcing my eyes to his. "You're just like me. There's no reason any more to hold back and keep these worthless souls alive! Show them the monster you've always been!"

And…

Because they weren't worthless to me.

Because I still had friends and family to fight for.

Because I wasn't a fucking monster.

Because I. Wasn't. Done. Yet.

I let go of my restraint on the door that held that dark power only partially open, and let it open a little bit more.

The power roared up my spine like wildfire through dry grass. My body twisted with it at first, threatening to tear with the power not meant for mortal flesh. Scales bloomed across any still empty skin, over my jaw, my cheeks, my ribs. I felt my eyes change again and my canines turn into fangs. The fiery energy that poured from me was no longer streams of violet and amethyst, it was a deep black void that wanted to devour everything.

Orion's smug smile faltered too late.

I grabbed him by the collar and ripped at him. Not his clothing. Or his skin. But his soul.

His essence peeled away from Ketch' body like smoke torn from a doused flame. It screamed, deep, inhuman, and furious. The red black demonic soul writhed in my grip, claws still trying to lash out as I held him tight. Orion's true form twisted, already half dissolved and howling like the dying monster he was.

"Let me tell you what you've never understood," I whispered to him. "I used you as a pass time. I never loved you. I never had more than the feeling of lust for you. Because you had features that reminded me of him. It was always. For. Him." I squeezed the soul tighter, happy as it squirmed. "I never cared about you. But him? I would let the world burn for him."

Then I incinerated Orion's soul. Not with the grand explosion he would've wanted to go out as. No, I would not give him that last satisfaction. With the smallest amount of power I needed, I needed to end him. Then he was nothing but ash floating in the wind.

Ketch' body collapsed to the ground, lifeless. Orion was gone. Truly gone. And the battlefield seemed to feel it. The hybrids and monsters that were left, turned to flee. Without a leader, without order, there was nothing for them to listen to anymore. Even the vengeful spirits from Hell hesitated and waited.

The scream ripped out of me again before I felt it in my throat. An unstoppable tidal wave of power fueled by my broken heart shattered the battlefield. The fire inside of me surged outward like a nuclear blast. The air around me crackled with it. It poured from me in a shockwave that obliterated everything corrupted that still stood.

When it faded…

There was nothing left but silence.

There were no enemies left to fight.

Only stains of blood in the broken dirt, and a circle of fire that burned around those I loved without consuming them. And at the center of it all, I dropped to my knees beside his body like the world had given out beneath me.

The flames burned low to the ground around us, their heat no longer a danger to anyone. My power still hummed in the air, a living thing, angry and awake, but no longer felt by me.

I was just cold.

His body lay in the dirt, limp and still and wrong. Too quiet. Too empty. His face lay slack, lips slightly parted and pale as if his last breath had been a question. Like maybe he had hoped I'd still find a way to save him.

I reached for him with shaking hands. My hands were still more monster than human. Scales still shimmered along my arms. But I didn't care.

I gently pulled him into my arms and cradled his head to my chest like I could shield him from the damage that had already been done.

The first sob hit me like a bullet through my heart, sharp and sudden. It tore out of me with the force of everything I had been holding back for months now. The grief, fury, and guilt suddenly outweighed everything else. It shook through me as I cried, rocking him, whispering his name through broken gasps.

"Arthur…please…"

I brushed his hair, slick with sweat and blood, away from his face. It was too pale, and his skin was already starting to cool.

"No, no, no…come on…please…" I begged, pressing my forehead to his. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to just leave me like this. Not now. Not again."

I could feel the others standing around me, silent. No one dared to move. Not Cas or Cael. Not Lucifer or Sam. Not even Dean tried to step towards me. Elly held Ally in the distance, her tears streaking through ash-stained cheeks. And Kore…they stood a few feet away from me, fists clenched at their sides, the only one who had dared get closer, but yet not enough to soothe.

I couldn't look at them. I didn't want to look away from him. Just in case his eyes fluttered open the way they did after he'd slept.

I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him as if I could force his heart to start again with the pressure. "You promised me something real. You promised…"

The sky above rumbled, threatening to rain and wash it all away.

"BRING HIM BACK!" I screamed, turning my face to the sky. The raw sound of my voice echoed across the opening, shaking what was left of the grass and dirt. "TAKE ME INSTEAD YOU GREEDY BASTARD!"

"There's still one deal left to be made, child." The voice answered instead, no longer a whisper in my head.

He spoke from inside me, through me, like a second soul rising in my throat. I didn't respond to him.

"You've already opened the door. All you have to do is step through it. Give yourself to me fully, Child, and I can give him back to you."

I clutched his body tighter to my chest, letting my head fall back to his and sobbing harder.

"One final deal. In the battle to come, you will be mine. You will burn worlds if I say so. You will be the weapon that ends all wars."

There wasn't a choice in my mind when I heard the words. I only wanted to love and hold him. To grow old with him. I only wanted him.

"I don't care." The words sounded broken and far away. "Just give him back…"

The voice was silent as if he was contemplating if that was enough. Then…

"It will be done."

The power inside of me shifted. A gasp tore from me as it surged forward. But not like before, not fueled by violence or anger. This felt like it was healing. Like creation. It was so similar to the energy I had felt when Jack was born. The same kind of pull that would make Heaven split and Hell stand still.

My hands began to glow against his back. I didn't move. Didn't dare to breathe. Everything around us had stilled, like time had curled in on itself and refused to tick forward another second. His body arched in my touch. Then fell flat against me again, still cold and lifeless.

His gasp for air made me sit up straight. It was loud and desperate. His chest heaved with it once, twice, and then he coughed. He dragged in air like it was the first breath he had ever truly taken. I felt my eyes widen as my shaky hands found his cheeks. They were warm, flush. Alive.

Those beautiful slate grey eyes blinked open.

"...Alex?" His voice was raspy, sore. Like he hadn't spoken in a very long time.

The sob I let out came with a garbled laugh. It was every emotion I hadn't been allowing myself to feel. 

And so I held him like I was never going to let go again.