Kiss Me Like You’re Not Married.

The early sun cast a pale gold over the quiet parking lot, stretching long shadows across the concrete. The morning air was crisp.. not cold, just enough to sting slightly when breathed in too deep.

Joon-Won sat in the driver's seat, engine off, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting loosely on his thigh. A cigarette hung between his fingers, half-smoked and forgotten.

He looked like he hadn't slept. His shirt was wrinkled, and the dark circles under his eyes softened his usual sharpness.

A gentle tap on the window.

Tae-hyun stood there with a paper cup in hand and a hesitant smile.

Joon unlocked the door without a word.

Tae slid in and closed it behind him. For a moment, he didn't speak either. The silence in the car felt thick, not awkward, just… full. Full of things they didn't yet know how to say.

Then, quietly, Tae leaned over, cupped the back of Joon's head, and brought him into a hug.

Joon didn't resist.

In fact, he melted.

Tae let his fingers trail softly through the man's hair, thumb brushing against the nape of his neck. It wasn't urgent or possessive. Just calm. Intimate. Familiar.

Without hesitation, Tae shifted, climbing onto his lap gently. He kissed him, just once a soft, almost weightless press of lips. Then he pulled Joon's head to rest against his chest, holding him quietly while his fingers stroked through his ash-blond hair again.

"You didn't sleep hm?" Tae whispered after a moment.

"No."

Tae didn't push. He kept playing with his hair, slow and steady.

"She cried a lot," Joon murmured finally. "I said too many things. Said some things right. Said some things wrong."

"But you told her the truth," Tae said, looking down at him.

Joon's arms circled around Tae's waist, holding him in place. "I told her everything except the part I wanted to say most."

Tae tilted his head. "And what part was that?"

Joon looked up, eyes tired. "That I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. That I'm not sure who I am in that house."

"You think I know who I am in mine?" Tae replied with a dry laugh, then softened. "You were strong last night."

Joon didn't respond right away. Instead, he brought a hand up, resting it on the curve of Tae's thigh.

Tae glanced down. "I didn't call last night."

"I know baby." He didn't sound bitter.

"I almost did," Tae added softly, his heart fluttering at the pet name and how naturally it flows out of Joon's mouth now. "But she started talking about it again."

Joon blinked. "About what?"

Tae hesitated.

Then he whispered quitely. "She wants another baby."

Joon went completely still.

"…Since when?"

"She's been dropping hints for months," Tae admitted, eyes down. "But lately it's more direct. Like she's hoping I'll just say yes if she keeps asking."

"And have you?" Joon asked quietly.

Tae shook his head. "I've been putting it off. Changing the topic. I told her I'm tired, not ready, work is too much right now."

Joon let out a short, dry exhale that was almost a laugh but not quite.

Tae studied him. "What?"

Joon didn't meet his eyes. "It's not my place to be upset."

Tae shifted slightly in his lap, watching his face carefully. "But you are."

Joon nodded slowly. "Yeah. I am."

"Why?"

He finally looked up. "Because… we just found each other. We just got this… whatever this is to feel like something. And I know how it goes. Another baby changes the whole orbit of a house. It changes people. Time. Intimacy. Everything."

Tae bit his bottom lip and started rubbing Joon's scalp gently.

Joon leaned his head back against the seat, looking up at the ceiling like it could help him focus.

"I'm selfish, Tae," he added, voice quieter. "I want to be your center for a little longer."

Tae's heart twisted. His chest ached, but not in a painful way. Just full.

"You already are," he whispered.

Joon looked at him quietly.

"And I'm selfish too," Tae added, smiling faintly. "I sat across from Ha-eun last night thinking… 'why her?' Why does she get you at night? Why does she get to be mad at you and still be yours?"

Joon's brows knit slightly.

Tae pouted jokingly. "I wanted to be the one slamming a door at you."

That got a smile.. small, crooked, but real.

"You're ridiculous," Joon murmured, letting one hand trail slowly up Tae's spine.

Tae gave him a playfully narrowed look. "You love it."

"Unfortunately," Joon muttered with a smirk.

Then, softer he mumbled, "Don't have another baby yet."

Tae leaned down, brushing their noses together. "Then don't disappear on me again."

"I won't."

They sat like that for a while, parked in a quiet lot, pressed against each other like the world could wait.

And for the first time in what felt like days, maybe weeks, Joon breathed a little easier.

The silence in the car felt softer now.. not heavy, just calm. Like the worst had passed, but neither of them was quite ready to say goodbye yet.

Tae leaned back a little, still straddling Joon-Won's lap, his fingers playing with the hem of Joon's shirt absentmindedly.

"You know…" he started slowly, eyes flicking to the cigarette resting in the console, "I kinda miss watching you smoke."

Joon raised a brow. "You miss that?"

"Yeah," Tae said with a cheeky smile. "You get this… moody, brooding CEO vibe. Suits you."

Joon huffed a laugh, eyes finally lighting up, just a little. "You're unbelievable."

Tae grinned, proud of himself. "I mean, if you need to smoke right now, I know a rooftop that would be perfect for it."

Joon squinted at him, suspicious. "What rooftop?"

"My office." Tae leaned forward, voice light and coaxing. "It's a big company. Real estate. We have this rooftop area that barely anyone uses unless they're sneaking in coffee breaks or pretending to be on the phone."

Joon didn't answer.

"There's even a view," Tae added, tilting his head playfully. "I think you'd like it. You could light one and look all mysterious."

Joon smirked. "We're fine here."

Tae's shoulders dropped a little. "Come on… I actually have to go in today. Took yesterday off, remember?"

Joon groaned faintly. "Baby…"

"Come with me." Tae's voice softened again. "You've never seen where I work. Just follow me there! ten minutes tops. Then you can sulk dramatically on the rooftop while I act like I'm not late."

A pause.

Joon stared at him and there it was, the corner of his mouth twitching upward despite himself.

"…You're annoying."

"You love it."

Joon sighed, rubbing his temple. "Fine."

Tae perked up instantly.

"Go to your car," Joon said, nudging his thigh. "Lead the way. I'll follow."

Tae grinned, leaned in one more time for a soft kiss to Joon's cheek, then reluctantly climbed off his lap and opened the door. Before stepping out, he leaned back in with a teasing look.

"Try not to fall in love with me when you see me in work mode."

Joon stared at him dryly. "Already suffering."

Tae laughed softly, gave him a wink, and jogged off toward his car.

Joon watched him go with a faint smile, reaching for the forgotten cigarette and lighting it again. The first inhale hit differently this time, not bitter. Just grounding.

He wasn't sure why he agreed to go.

But somehow, with Tae's warmth still lingering on his lap and the taste of him faint on his lips, it didn't feel like such a bad idea.

Maybe the rooftop wasn't such a bad place to be after all.

.

.

.

The drive to Tae-hyun's office was mostly quiet, but not uncomfortable. Joon-Won followed behind his car with casual ease, windows half-cracked, fingers tapping against the wheel.

When they pulled into the underground parking garage, Joon parked beside Tae's car. He stayed seated for a second, watching through the windshield as Tae stepped out, straightening his coat and checking his reflection briefly in the side mirror. Joon got out, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"So this is where the magic happens?" he murmured.

Tae turned to him with a smirk. "If by magic you mean zoning permits and rooftop leaks, then yeah. Come on."

They walked side by side through the lot and into the elevator, their shoulders brushing. The quiet hum of fluorescent lights above felt too bright for the mood they were in, but neither of them said anything.

On the way up, Tae pointed at a hallway as they passed.

"My office is down there. Third on the left. You'd like it.. I keep it clean, organized. Bit boring, though."

"Figures," Joon said, lips curving slightly as he watched Tae-hyun walk.

They kept walking. Past a break room, past half-glimpsed cubicles, until they reached the heavy door that led to the staircase. Tae pushed it open, leading Joon up the narrow concrete stairs.

"I come up here sometimes when I want to scream," Tae said over his shoulder.

Joon raised an eyebrow. "You scream from work?"

"Quietly. Internally."

That earned a quiet chuckle.

Finally, they pushed open the roof access door. The air was different up there.. thinner, a little cooler, brushing through their coats. The rooftop wasn't anything fancy. A few vents, a rusting metal bench, and the city skyline cutting into the sky.

Joon stepped out and looked around slowly. Then, wordlessly, he pulled a cigarette from his coat and lit it, the flame briefly kissing his face in orange.

Tae leaned on the ledge, looking out. "Not bad, right?"

Joon took a long drag, exhaling slowly. His eyes were darker again, thoughtful.

"I thought about it last night," Joon finally said, voice lower than usual. "Just… telling her."

Tae blinked, not expecting that so soon.

"Not everything. Not us," Joon clarified, looking over. "But maybe asking for a break. Even divorce."

Tae felt something sharp twist in his chest, not from guilt.

It was want. Raw and selfish.

He looked down, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back a smile. "You… really thought that?"

"I've never said the word before," Joon murmured, flicking ash off the edge. "Not even in my head. But it came up last night. Just kept circling."

Tae hummed softly, trying to sound neutral. "Did you tell her anything?"

"No. We had sex. That's how we fix things."

Tae chuckled dryly, but something about it sounded hollow. "Not the healthiest tradition."

Joon shrugged. "Works."

Another puff of smoke. Another silence. Tae could feel his heart beating just a little faster, gaze drifting up again to study the man beside him. The wind pushed a strand of Joon's ash-blond hair loose from where it had been neatly slicked back. His jaw was tense, always sharp, but now clenched as if trying to hold back the weight of something heavier than words.

Then Joon's voice cut through again, casual… but too precise.

"You looked kinda happy just now."

Tae blinked. "What?"

"When I said divorce." Joon turned his head, eyes sharp and knowing, a faint smirk playing on his lips. "Your eyes lit up. You didn't even hide it."

Tae laughed, trying to deflect, stepping backward. "I did not. That was just the sun."

"Cute excuse." Joon took a slow step toward him. "You were glowing."

Tae kept stepping back, playful, hands up in mock surrender. "You're imagining things."

Joon chuckled lowly, smoke curling from his lips. "You're terrible at hiding shit, you know that?"

"I'm excellent at hiding things," Tae said, smirking, retreating step by step toward the staircase door. "You just read me too well."

"Exactly." Joon's voice dropped, more heat in it now. "That's the problem."

By the time Tae's back brushed the metal frame of the doorway leading to the stairwell, Joon was already too close. still smoking, one hand buried in his pocket, the other flicking the cigarette away without looking.

"Joon…" Tae started, grin faltering slightly as Joon closed the distance.

"You want it," Joon murmured, voice low, head tilted. "You want me to leave her. You just don't wanna admit it out loud."

Tae's lips parted, but nothing came out.

"And you know what?" Joon continued, slowly backing him inside the stairwell, the door creaking shut behind them. "A part of me wants you to admit it."

Tae swallowed hard.

"Wanna hear you say you'd take her place if you could."

The words dropped like weight in the small concrete space, the echo faint but charged.

"I wouldn't," Tae said quickly, eyes wide, pretending to scoff.

But his smile, that barely-there curve, the softness in his eyes betrayed him completely.

Joon saw it. Smirked.

And then he kissed him.

Hard. Possessive. No warning.

Tae gasped softly against his mouth, his hands instinctively curling into Joon's shirt. The scent of smoke and aftershave overwhelmed him. Joon's hand left his pocket, sliding around Tae's waist, gripping him tightly and pulling him flush to his chest.

There was no hesitation. Just hunger, the kind that came from restraint finally snapping.

Joon's lips pressed deeper, head tilting to kiss him harder. Tae whimpered into it, hands now tangled in the collar of Joon's coat, anchoring himself. The stairwell was cold, but Joon's body burned against his.

When Joon finally pulled back, their breaths were uneven. Tae blinked up at him, lips swollen, a little dazed.

Joon looked at him for a long moment, then leaned in again.. this time, a slower kiss to the corner of Tae's mouth. A whisper against his skin.

"Don't lie to me again."

Tae didn't answer.

He just closed his eyes… and leaned back in to steal another kiss from him.

.

.

.

They eventually made their way down the stairs from the rooftop, slipping inside through the heavy metal door and settling on the wide concrete steps of the emergency stairwell. The door closed behind them with a muted thud, leaving them wrapped in a hush only broken by the distant hum of pipes and the city below.

Joon sat on a higher step, arms loosely draped over his knees as he smoked the last of his cigarette. Tae sat one step below, legs bent, arms hugging them. He glanced down at the glowing end of the cigarette, then at Joon.

Joon nudged his shoulder with his knee. "You definitely lit up."

Tae rolled his eyes. "You're still on that?"

"I'm observant."

"You're annoying."

"Admit it," Joon grinned. "You looked way too smug when I said I might take a break from Ha-eun. Like your dreams were finally coming true."

"I was not smug," Tae mumbled, flustered.

"You looked like a kid who just found out Christmas came early."

Tae huffed. "I was just surprised, okay? I didn't think you'd actually—"

He stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck.

Joon raised a brow, the cigarette now flicked away, his attention fully on Tae. "Didn't think I'd what?"

"…Do anything that would bring you closer to me."

Joon blinked, the playful smirk softening just slightly.

Tae leaned his head back against the stair rail, sighing. "Fine. Whatever. You wanna hear it?"

"More than anything."

"I'd be lying," Tae said slowly, eyes fixed on the ceiling, "if I said I didn't want that to happen. A break. Divorce. Anything that would make you… mine."

The words hung in the air.. fragile, too honest.

"I know it's fucked up," Tae continued, voice lower now. "It's selfish. I'm selfish when it comes to you, Joon. I hate thinking about her in your bed. I hate seeing that ring on your finger. I hate that I have to share even the smallest pieces of you with someone else."

He paused, then let out a nervous laugh. "God, I sound crazy."

Joon didn't speak. He just watched him. His heart had stuttered the moment Tae said mine for the first time.

Tae kept rambling now, flustered by the silence. "I don't even know when it started, but I guess somewhere between your stupid voice notes and you kissing me like I meant something, I started losing it a little."

Then, quietly, as if the words slipped without permission:

"I like you too much to not want this to happen."

His eyes widened the second the words left him, and he turned sharply. "I mean—I didn't—"

Joon's mouth curved slowly.

"You like me too much, huh?"

"Shut up," Tae muttered, burying his face in his arms.

Joon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked down at him. "No, say it again. But slower this time."

Tae groaned. "I take it back."

"You can't."

"I absolutely can."

"You like me too much, Tae," Joon said in a low voice, his tone suddenly different.. softer, but with heat behind it. "That's kind of beautiful."

"Shut—"

Joon reached down and cupped the side of Tae's jaw, thumb brushing beneath his ear. He pulled his face up gently, making him meet his gaze. His thumb slid along Tae's cheek, slow and reverent.

"You want me all to yourself?" he asked, tilting his head. "You want me in your bed instead of hers?"

Tae opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Joon leaned in, their faces close, their lips a breath apart. "You want me waking up beside you? Kissing you in the morning instead of hiding in stairwells?"

Tae whispered, "Joon…"

Joon's mouth brushed against his, slow and deliberate, the kiss was deep, unhurried. It tasted like tension and smoke and truth too long buried.

He broke the kiss just barely, their lips still touching as he spoke again, voice lower now. "You'd love having me all to yourself, wouldn't you?"

Tae's breath shuddered. "Yes."

Joon kissed him again, deeper this time. Tae's hands found his shirt, pulling him closer until their bodies pressed together in the narrow stairwell. Joon's hands slid beneath Tae's shirt, fingers warm against his skin, possessive.

"I'd spoil you," Joon whispered, lips brushing against his jaw now. "Touch you whenever I want. Fuck you slow. Make you mine. You'd be so greedy with me."

Tae whimpered softly, fingers tightening.

"You'd act all shy in public," Joon murmured, "but the second I get you alone, you'd melt for me. You'd beg."

Tae's face flushed red, his eyes fluttering shut.

Joon pulled back slightly to look at him.

"I want you too," he said softly.

The words weren't playful. Not this time.

"I want all of this. But I'm scared."

Tae opened his eyes.

"Scared of what?" he asked quietly.

Joon looked down. "Of wanting you more than I should."

Tae reached for his hand and laced their fingers together.

"You already do."

.

.

They didn't move from the stairs.

Joon's body was still half leaned into Tae's, their hands laced, warmth exchanged through slow breaths and unspoken words. The air between them felt denser now, not heavy, but thick with the weight of what wasn't being said outright.

Tae had calmed, his head tipped slightly to the side as Joon's thumb stroked the back of his hand in idle circles.

But then Joon broke the silence with a quiet murmur.

"So… Seo-yeon wants another baby, huh?"

The words landed like a soft slap. Tae blinked, caught off guard by the shift.

"How'd you—" he started, then exhaled. "Right. I told you today I forgot..."

Joon nodded, his gaze fixed on the dark stain of old gum stuck to the wall across from them. "Yeah. You dropped it like a bomb in my car and then acted cute until I forgot."

"I didn't act cute," Tae muttered.

"You always act cute when you're trying to distract me." Joon gave him a small grin, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "And it works. Mostly."

Tae swallowed.

Joon looked down at their joined hands. "So what? Are you gonna give her one?"

Tae tensed.

"I don't know."

Joon hummed like he didn't buy it.

"I mean it," Tae said. "I've been avoiding it. Pushing the conversation aside every time she brings it up."

"Because of me?"

Tae glanced up.

Joon's voice dropped slightly. "Be honest, baby. Is it because of me?"

The nickname pulled something tight in Tae's chest. He hesitated. Then nodded.

Joon leaned back a bit and dragged a hand through his hair, resting his elbow on the step behind him. "You know… it's kinda messed up. The idea of you having another baby while you're still in this with me."

"I know," Tae whispered.

"I can't even picture it," Joon went on, voice lower now. "You, holding another kid. Tucking them in while I'm sitting somewhere wondering if you're thinking about me at all."

"That's not fair—"

"It's not," Joon agreed. "But neither is this. You and I are doing something neither of us were supposed to do, and yet… here we are."

Tae stayed quiet.

Joon exhaled slowly, eyes following the faint shaft of sunlight coming through the thin rooftop window. "My marriage's already on the edge. If I said I wanted a break, or a divorce… people would nod. They'd believe it. Hell, I think Ha-eun's been expecting it."

"But mine's good," Tae finished.

Joon nodded, bitterly. "You don't have a reason. Not one that makes sense to anyone but me."

There was silence for a beat, and then Joon turned his head toward him.

"But don't you dare give her another baby."

Tae blinked. "What?"

Joon looked deadly calm. "I mean it. Stay married. Smile for the holidays. Take your family photos. I won't ask you to leave her, not like I might one day. But if you have another kid with her… that changes everything."

"Joon—"

"You'd be hers in a way I can't compete with," he said quietly. "Right now, it's still you and me — in secret, yeah, but it's ours. But if you become a dad again, Tae… you won't be mine anymore. Not even like this."

Tae stared at him, lips parted, heart racing.

"You wouldn't be able to sneak away. Wouldn't be able to lay in bed with me talking about your stupid dreams or fake whining because you missed my cologne. You'd be gone."

Joon glanced away, jaw tensing, then added under his breath:

"And I'd have to let you go."

Tae swallowed hard, his voice softer than before. "You wouldn't have to."

"I would. Because I'm not gonna compete with a newborn, baby." Joon's eyes flicked back to him. "I know when to back off."

Tae looked down, heart heavy and throat dry.

Joon must've felt the shift because he reached out and touched his cheek again, the gentleness returning. His thumb stroked the corner of Tae's mouth, then his jaw.

"But I'm telling you now," he murmured. "Don't do it. Don't let her win that way. Let her have the rest, the routine, the smiles.. but not that."

Tae let out a breath. "You talk like we're in a war."

Joon gave a soft, hollow laugh. "Aren't we?"

Tae leaned into his touch a little, his own hand sliding over Joon's wrist.

"You don't mind… me still being with her?" Tae asked. "You don't resent it?"

Joon tilted his head. "I do. A little. But I'm not delusional. I know where we stand. I'm not trying to force anything."

He leaned closer, lips brushing Tae's ear.

"But I need something that's just mine. And right now, that's you. Here. This."

Tae felt his breath hitch.

"And if you give her more of you," Joon added, whispering now, "there won't be enough left for me."

Tae nodded against his shoulder, quiet. "Okay."

Joon didn't move for a moment. Then, finally, his hand fell to Tae's thigh, resting there casually, like a silent claim.

"Good boy."

Tae's eyes fluttered, his breath skipping.

Joon smirked, teasing again as he nudged his nose against his cheek. "God, your face when I call you that…"

"You're impossible," Tae mumbled, blushing as he nudged him back.

"But you're mine," Joon whispered. "Even like this."

Even if they both knew they had no right to say it out loud.

.

.

The silence between them stretched for a beat too long.

Joon's thumb grazed the inside of Tae-hyun's wrist now, slow and deliberate. The soft rhythm of touch had changed, not as possessive, not as urgent.. just something quiet. Thoughtful.

He was still staring at Tae, but not with heat this time. With something gentler, heavier.

"You know," he murmured, "whatever this started as… it isn't just sex anymore."

Tae looked away, cheeks burning. "You're being dramatic again."

"I'm not." Joon's voice was low. "You know I'm not."

Tae picked at the hem of his sleeve, pretending not to hear how Joon's tone dipped just slightly on the word anymore.

"You're the one getting feelings," Tae muttered, attempting to play it cool, lips twitching into a faint smirk. "I'm just here for the drama."

Joon narrowed his eyes, the corner of his mouth curving.

"Right. That's why your pulse jumped when I mentioned divorce. And why your voice cracks every time I get close."

"It does not."

"Oh?" Joon leaned forward again, a brow raised. "Then tell me, Tae-hyun… if I kissed you right now, you wouldn't get nervous?"

Tae rolled his eyes and looked away again, but his face was betraying him.. red ears, the twitch of a shy smile.

Joon chuckled, voice lazy and soft. "You're such a bad liar."

Tae huffed quietly. "Fine. Maybe… maybe there's something."

"Something?"

"Don't push it."

Joon nudged him with his knee. "Baby, you just admitted we have something. That's huge."

"I didn't say what it was."

"You didn't have to."

Tae risked a glance at him, Joon's smile was teasing, but his eyes were warm. Soft. That kind of softness that made it harder to breathe.

Neither of them said the words. But it hung between them like a fragile, golden thread too real to ignore now, too dangerous to name.

Then, quietly, Joon stood.

He didn't say anything, just reached his hand down and tugged gently at Tae's fingers.

Tae let him pull him up. Their fingers stayed laced for a moment too long before Joon finally let go.

"I should let you get back to work," Joon said, brushing invisible dust off his pants. "And I need to go home."

Tae nodded slowly. "You're really going to talk to her?"

Joon met his eyes, unreadable for a second. "Yeah. I need to."

Tae swallowed, heart doing a quiet little spin.

This time, he didn't try to hide the way his mouth twitched into a slightly giddy smile.

Joon noticed.

He smirked. "You're glowing again."

Tae stepped in closer before Joon could say anything else. And then, with a shift in posture so casual it was almost suspicious, he leaned in to whisper something just beneath Joon's ear, voice soft, wicked, and completely unapologetic.

"Go take care of your duties, daddy. I'll still be yours when you're done."

Joon froze.. just for half a second before his jaw clenched and his eyes darkened, the reaction instant and deep.

Tae turned like nothing happened, already walking ahead and tossing a lazy smile over his shoulder.

"Come on, you said you were following me, right?"

Joon was a step behind him now, but the grin that slowly stretched across his face was both dangerous and absolutely smitten.

"…You're gonna pay for that, baby boy."

"I'm counting on it."

And with that, they disappeared back through the door, fingers brushing as they descended the stairs, hearts racing for reasons neither of them could fully say out loud.