Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

"How come they're just a bunch of little brats?"

Inside the Hokage's office, a disheveled and slightly drunk old man named Tazuna, who claimed to be a bridge-building expert, looked utterly unimpressed by the group of young shinobi Konoha had assigned to escort him.

Not that anyone in Konoha, including the Third Hokage, really cared. It was just a C-rank mission—hardly worth arguing over. If he wanted elite protection, he should've paid for a higher-tier job.

"If you think we're not good enough, you're free to request a higher-level escort—if you can afford it," Naruto replied calmly, offering what he thought was very reasonable advice.

To Naruto, Konoha's ninja system wasn't all that different from a giant, high-end mercenary network. Pay enough, and they'd protect whoever, whenever.

But clearly, Tazuna was just a broke loudmouth. He shut up fast when challenged.

"Well," Kakashi interrupted, "since Mr. Tazuna isn't upgrading the mission, all of you go home and get ready. This won't be a short trip."

He waved the team off. "Meet back here in two hours. We leave for the Land of Waves."

Walking out of the Hokage's office, Naruto was flanked by Sasuke and Sakura. Ever since the Genin test, both had started following Naruto's lead instinctively, even though they didn't say it out loud.

"Uzumaki Naruto! I'm back! Prepare to fight me again!"

Before they could get far, Konohamaru popped out of nowhere—again. But before he could even declare another one of his childish challenges, Naruto casually kicked him into a nearby wall.

Konohamaru groaned dramatically on the floor, clutching his stomach. "You're so strong… truly… my greatest rival…"

Sakura winced a little. "Naruto, isn't that a bit too much? He's just a kid."

"When you face an opponent, you give it your all," Naruto replied smoothly. "That's how you show respect."

Sakura's eyes lit up with curiosity. She smiled and jogged a bit to catch up, her soft pink hair bouncing with each step.

"So, what if I was your opponent?" she asked eagerly, lips curling into a teasing grin. "Would you still go all out?"

"Of course," Naruto said seriously. "I'd give you my best shot. Maximum respect."

"Ughhh~" Sakura groaned, face falling. She pouted. "If that's how you are, next time I'm helping Sasuke with the trash cleanup, not you."

Naruto blinked. What?

He raised an eyebrow, confused. She volunteered to help me, and now she's threatening to stop helping?

This girl's logic defies the laws of nature.

"I actually think Naruto's right," Sasuke interjected, hands in his pockets. "If he'd held back in our fight two months ago, I'd have taken that as an insult."

"Ugh…" Sakura's face twisted. Why are both of them teaming up to gang up on me all of a sudden?

Frustrated, she looked away and slowed her pace. Before she realized it, the boys had walked nearly fifteen meters ahead without her.

They had been teammates for two months, and yet these two never waited for her.

Sasuke? Fine, he had always been distant since the academy days.

But Naruto?

He used to follow her around all the time. Now he barely looked back.

Jealous much? she thought bitterly.

"Naruto, wait up!" she shouted, running to catch up. Grabbing his wrist, she said, "Hey, don't stay mad. I'll help you pick up trash next mission, okay?"

"…?" Naruto looked at her, confused. "Wait—why would I be mad?"

Sakura stuck out her tongue. "Hehe, never mind. Just messing with you."

Naruto pulled his hand away and shoved both in his pockets. Women are impossible to understand.

"You say you're not mad, but your face says otherwise." Sakura pouted and followed behind him.

Sasuke glanced sideways at them. Something felt off… Sakura hadn't been pestering him lately.

Hmm. Fine by me. One less distraction on my path to power.

Naruto… I'll surpass you soon.

Two hours later, Team 7, along with their mission client Tazuna, set off toward the Land of Waves.

It was the first time the trio had traveled beyond the village gates.

Sakura was buzzing with excitement, pointing out everything new she saw like a tourist.

"Naruto! Look at that pheasant! Its feathers are so shiny!"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto replied flatly. "Go ask it if it can sing and dance."

"You're so ridiculous," Sakura huffed. "Chickens don't do that."

"Well, you won't know unless you ask."

Rolling her eyes at his sarcastic tone, Sakura kicked a rock on the road in frustration. Then another.

Naruto remained totally unaffected. In truth, he was desperate for her to stop talking. She was so chatty it was messing with his focus.

Is she a spy Sasuke sent to distract me from training? he wondered grimly. Too bad for you, Sasuke—I don't even need to train.

As they traveled, Kakashi explained the layout of the Five Great Ninja Villages.

Just as he spoke, they passed a shallow puddle in the road.

Moments later, two masked attackers sprang from the water—one in front, one behind—and wrapped chains around Kakashi, shredding his body instantly.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura screamed in terror. This was her first time witnessing death right in front of her, and panic overtook her.

Sasuke, without hesitation, drew his kunai and lunged at the two attackers.

Naruto calmly stepped in front of Sakura and said, "Don't panic. Take a closer look at where Kakashi-sensei was standing."

Sure enough, the "corpse" dissolved into chunks of wood.

"Substitution Jutsu," Sakura whispered. When did Naruto figure that out?

She looked at the boy standing in front of her—only slightly taller than herself—but in that moment, he felt towering.

[Passive selection triggered!]

"?"

Huh. Not when the attackers appeared… but now?

Naruto glanced at the pop-up from his mysterious selector system. Something clicked.

I think I'm starting to see a pattern.

Over the past two months, more than 80% of the system's options had triggered during interactions with women. Options involving men usually only appeared when there was a significant challenge involved.

Now? Two enemy ninjas right in front of him… but the system triggered only after Sakura reacted emotionally.

How is this fair? Naruto thought, deadpan. Should've just called it the "Spicy Drama Selector."