Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

The cold wind howled outside.

All the shops on the street—aside from a few ninja tool stores and drug shops that remained open around the clock—had long since closed.

The apartment windows along Konoha's Dainan Street rattled in the chill of the north wind.

After Uzuki Yugao performed a full-body examination and confirmed Naruto Uzumaki hadn't suffered any serious injuries, she marched him straight to the bathroom to take a shower.

The moment he stepped into the hot water and sank into the tub, his body relaxed.

The warmth wrapped around him like a blanket.

A hot bath really is one of life's greatest pleasures.

Outside the bathroom, the sound of lighthearted banter between Yuhi Kurenai and Uzuki Yugao drifted into Naruto's ears like silver bells.

"Xiyan, you're actually pretty big… almost as big as me."

"Kurenai-senpai, you're drunk."

"Drunk? No way. I'm the Wine Goddess of Konoha."

"I knew I shouldn't have given you any sake."

"What are you mumbling about? I don't get drunk!"

Kurenai's tipsy voice was as soft as a breeze, almost like the chirping of a baby bird.

Naruto chuckled to himself.

Just then, a black "贰" symbol lit up on his arm.

Sasuke.

Naruto had just connected the call when footsteps approached from outside the bathroom.

"Kurenai-senpai, keep drinking. I'll go help Naruto wash his back."

With a resigned sigh, Uzuki Yugao pushed open the bathroom door.

"Naruto, big sister is here to help you bathe."

She stepped in with the calm poise of a professional.

Naruto turned his head, caught sight of her in a towel—and quickly cut off contact with Sasuke.

Then he sank deeper into the tub, leaving only his head above the surface.

Through the haze of rising steam, Yugao entered the bathroom. Wrapped in a snug towel, her soft curves moved with elegance—firm, graceful, and impossible to ignore.

"S-Sister Xiyan, I can wash myself!" Naruto sputtered, bubbles bubbling from his mouth.

"It's fine," she smiled, pulling up a small stool beside the tub. "Come, sit here."

Naruto obeyed, turning his back to her.

"Naruto," Yugao said gently, squeezing shower gel into her palms, "don't be so reckless next time."

Her delicate hands rubbed the gel between them before she began to work it into his shoulders.

The moment her fingers touched his skin, Naruto shivered.

That's… dangerously relaxing.

"Kindness is a virtue," Yugao continued, "but your own safety should always come first."

Her tone was tender, but Naruto knew it was a lecture.

She was referring to how he risked his life to save Lady Sarutobi and Konohamaru.

It wasn't exactly something a member of the ANBU—especially one directly under the Hokage—should say.

But she said it anyway.

Earlier that day, Yugao hadn't even been on duty. After paying respects to Ji Feng in the morning, she'd returned home to her apartment and spent most of the day alone.

But, driven by instinct—and perhaps a growing affection for Naruto—she'd decided to follow him.

That's how she ended up trailing Naruto to the Sarutobi residence… then to the hospital… and finally to the battlefield.

Her intervention against Kisame, though unsuccessful, had been well-timed.

"I understand," Naruto said softly. "But Sister Xiyan's safety matters just as much."

"Now you're just trying to sweet-talk me."

"Not at all."

Yugao smiled, then asked out of the blue:

"What about Lady Sarutobi?"

Huh?

What does she have to do with this? She never helped me.

I only saved her for the reward.

"Sister Xiyan still comes first," Naruto replied without hesitation.

Yugao's fingers trembled slightly, and she paused before asking another question:

"What about your teacher, Kurenai?"

Uh-oh.

Kurenai-sensei was just outside the door. She'd definitely hear everything.

"Teacher Kurenai and Sister Xiyan are tied for first place," Naruto said carefully.

Yugao stopped scrubbing and narrowed her eyes.

"You little fool. How can you have so many number ones?"

"If I need to, I can make Shadow Clones to take care of you all."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Naruto's brain scrambled. He dared not say another word.

After finishing with his back and shoulders, Yugao washed her hands in the tub.

"Alright, don't soak too long. Too much heat isn't good for your health," she said, lifting the stool and heading out.

"Got it," Naruto replied. His face was beet red.

Seeing his expression, Yugao bent down and playfully pinched his cheek.

Kurenai-senpai was right. This kid really is a handful.

In truth, Yugao hadn't come just to help bathe him—she wanted to speak with him alone.

After floating in the water for a while, Naruto got out, dried off with the towel Yugao had prepared, and wrapped himself in a fresh one.

The towel belonged to her—it was short, like a mini skirt on her. On Naruto, though, it looked like a clumsy white kimono.

Yugao was taller than Kurenai, who was already about 170 cm, so Naruto practically swam in her clothes.

He drained the tub and walked into the living room.

It was a small, tidy space—one bedroom, one living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Yugao's personal apartment, paid in full.

Or at least it had been tidy… until now.

Kurenai had clearly taken a shower earlier while Yugao checked Naruto over. Now she was slumped across the sofa, wrapped in a towel and hugging a beer bottle.

Her long, smooth legs were crossed, her rosy cheeks glowing, and her black curls fell across her bare collarbone.

She looked… alluring.

Well, except for the drool trickling down the corner of her mouth.

Naruto blinked.

Who could've guessed Konoha's graceful goddess turned into this after drinking?

Even Asuma wouldn't believe it.

Kurenai saw Naruto step out and waved lazily.

"Narutooo, come drink with us!"

"He's still a kid. He shouldn't drink," Yugao scolded.

"Kid? What do you mean kid? He's not that little anymore," Kurenai grumbled, pounding the table. Her towel nearly slipped.

Naruto silently agreed.

Definitely not that small anymore.

He sat down, crossed his arms, and declared:

"Sister Xiyan, I've grown up."

Kurenai stared at him, blinked… and burst into laughter.

Naruto blinked.

What's so funny!?

Kurenai didn't answer. Instead, a warm smile spread across her face as she stood up and pulled Naruto into her arms.

"You little rascal. You're getting cuter by the day. I just don't understand it!"

The faint gardenia scent of her shampoo tickled Naruto's nose.

He melted into her embrace.

Oh no.

I'm gonna pass out…

His pupils began spinning like pinwheels.

It must be said—Kurenai truly lived up to her reputation as Konoha's top genjutsu user.

Even Naruto the Jinchūriki—Mr. Cheat Code himself—couldn't resist.

Yugao stepped in and rescued him from Kurenai's clutches.

"Kurenai-senpai, it's late. Time to sleep."

"M'kay." Kurenai squinted. "Where am I sleeping?"

"There's only one bed," Yugao replied. "We'll all share."

With that, she took Naruto's hand and led him to the bedroom. Kurenai followed.

The lights dimmed. Naruto lay in the middle of the bed.

To his right, Kurenai was already fast asleep, snoring softly.

To his left, Yugao faced away.

In the darkness, Naruto's heartbeat thumped louder than ever.

Suddenly, Yugao turned and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, her eyes shining faintly in the dark.

"Goodnight, Naruto."

Her lips brushed his forehead.

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Goodnight, Sister Xiyan."

There's no way I'm sleeping tonight.

The Next Morning

Naruto awoke to find the sun already high.

The bed was empty.

In the living room, he found handwritten notes from both Yugao and Kurenai.

Yugao had gone to report in to the ANBU, and Kurenai had a mission as well.

Before leaving, they'd done his laundry and even left him breakfast in the microwave.

Naruto gulped some water, then opened the microwave to find a stack of Kobayashi meat buns.

He recognized the red dot stamps immediately—only Kobayashi's family bakery marked their buns that way.

After scarfing down the buns in a few bites, Naruto transformed into Shikamaru, opened the window, and hopped out into the street, still wearing the towel.

"Shikamaru!"

A voice called from behind him.

Naruto turned just in time to see a beautiful girl with flowing blonde hair standing in front of him.

"What's with that getup?"

Ino folded her arms across her chest.

"Whatever. Forget it. I've got news—Naruto's treating us to dinner today. You and Choji don't need to pay. Just make sure to tell him. 

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