Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

The swimming pool shimmered with golden light under the rising sun. Temari stood silently by the pool, taking in her surroundings.

Tall willow trees swayed in the breeze, offering shade while cicadas and frogs chirped in the distance. Behind her stood a large academic building—it resembled the Ninja Academy but was clearly taller and broader.

"What is this place?"

"Did that ninja use genjutsu on me again?"

Temari was still disoriented when a familiar, energetic voice piped up beside her.

"Are you real?"

She turned around abruptly, and the sight of that spiky blond hair made her eyes widen. Instinctively, she stepped back in fear. When she tried to gather her chakra, she found—there was none.

Of course, she thought grimly. If this is a genjutsu, I can't use chakra anyway.

"Wahoo!"

Naruto Uzumaki let out a gleeful laugh. Living in this place alone had been unbelievably boring. Finally, someone else had arrived to ease his loneliness.

If Naruto had known just how disappointing the so-called Graduation Certificate would be, he'd have rejected it immediately.

The damn thing had trapped both his body and consciousness in this artificial space for years. Though his appearance hadn't aged—still short, still the same body—Naruto had actually spent five years here.

Today was his eighteenth birthday.

But it hadn't been a complete waste of time. He'd spent those years training.

Of course, this wasn't an ordinary school. What it taught wasn't exactly... academic.

He didn't study history or literature, but he had mastered some "technical skills"—particularly the infamous "Awei Style 18." Naruto had become quite proficient in that. The only thing missing was real-world combat experience.

"Haha! Don't run—I won't eat you," Naruto called as he walked toward Temari.

Just then, a mechanical announcement rang out from the speakers atop the school building.

"A malicious entity has appeared. Student Uzumaki Naruto, please defeat the malicious individual: Temari. Otherwise, your graduation certificate will not be issued."

"Battle uniforms have been equipped. Begin combat!"

The next second, Naruto watched in real time as Temari's outfit changed completely out of nowhere.

Her standard shinobi attire vanished.

In its place, she now wore a crisp white professional shirt that hugged her upper body, paired with a black pencil skirt, sheer stockings, and high-heeled stilettos—an elegant black ensemble that clung to her long, well-proportioned legs.

Temari looked around in complete confusion. These clothes were nothing like what she was used to, especially the shoes. They looked stylish, but they were a nightmare to walk in.

"What kind of genjutsu is this?" she muttered. "It's too realistic!"

Still believing it was an illusion, Temari didn't panic even when Naruto charged toward her.

It's just genjutsu. What's the point of resisting? she thought. It's probably just meant to scare me.

But then—

Naruto rushed in and hugged her tightly.

Temari froze.

Her mind blanked out, and before she could react, Naruto's hands slid down her thighs.

Her long legs were lean and toned—evidence of a strong physique. With the stockings on, they felt slick to the touch. Naruto reached up, gently stroking her thigh while standing on tiptoe.

His warm breath brushed against her face, making her shiver.

Snapping back to her senses, she shoved him away. "What are you doing?!"

But Naruto didn't answer. He had to complete the Graduation Certificate task to escape this cursed space.

Without a word, he leaned in again and pressed his lips to hers.

Temari felt his lips—warm, soft—and a surge of emotional energy hit both their minds like lightning.

"Bastard! Get away from me!" she screamed, pushing him off again.

She had never dated anyone, never been intimate with a man. It was overwhelming, scary even.

For several days afterward, Temari played an unwilling game of tag with Naruto. She ran. He chased. There was no escape—not even wings would help her fly away.

Until the seventh day, when Temari finally stopped running… and faced him.

"Hmm~ Hmm~"

Tsunade hummed in the Hokage's office, stretching her arms. It was late at night, and she'd just finished her first day of work as the new Hokage. Tired but relieved, she left the building with Shizune, who was just as exhausted.

But just as Tsunade began washing up to sleep, her brow furrowed. She turned to look outside.

In the courtyard, Yuhi Kurenai and Mitarashi Anko stood silently, waiting.

"What is it?" Tsunade asked, clearly annoyed. The Hokage job was already stressful enough, and now these two were bothering her late at night.

If they didn't give her a good reason, they were going to get an earful.

Seeing Tsunade's irritated expression, both Kurenai and Anko tensed up. They exchanged glances, then Kurenai stepped forward, speaking with urgency:

"Hokage-sama… Temari from the Sand Village has gone missing."

"What?!"

"Yes. The Kazekage's daughter is gone."

"Weren't you the ones guarding her? Where the hell could she have gone?"

Tsunade's face darkened with fury. Sparks practically flew from her eyes. Kurenai and Anko immediately bowed, heads low.

"Don't just stand there! Notify the Defense Division and bring her back. Now."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The two women left at once.

Tsunade's eye twitched. This was only her first day on the job. She'd just begun grasping the village's political situation—and already something like this?

Is the universe messing with me on purpose?

And just like that, her suspicion landed on a familiar name.

"Could it be that bastard Danzo again…?"

That night, chaos erupted within the Interrogation and Defense departments of Konoha. Even the secretive Root unit was shaken.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru Nara was being dragged out of bed by his family to join a search party.

When he arrived, he realized almost everyone there was a familiar face. If he was here, that meant Ino and Choji—his teammates in the Ino-Shika-Cho trio—would be too.

Hinata, Kiba, and Shino from Team 8 were also present, as were Neji, Rock Lee, and the bun-haired girl from the Chunin Exams—Tenten.

The only person missing?

Someone from Team 7.

"Where's Naruto?"

Shikamaru wandered over to Sasuke, who stood at a distance.

Sasuke glanced sideways. "How should I know? You two are closer. Ask him yourself."

"...Fine. Forget I asked."

Hinata silently frowned. Still no sign of Naruto. It had been over a month since she last saw him—even though their last interaction ended on a sour note, she missed him.

"Are you all talking about Uzumaki Naruto?"

A tall, long-legged woman with a style similar to Kiba's stepped out of the shadows. Her face bore a strong resemblance, but she was older, and more refined.

This was Inuzuka Hana, Kiba's older sister and the leader of the Genin search team.

Ino couldn't hold back her question anymore. "Sister Hana, why are all of us here tonight—except for Naruto?"

Hana smiled. "You all know the new Hokage, Lady Tsunade, right?"

They nodded.

"Well, Lady Tsunade seems to have a soft spot for him. She specifically told me not to summon Naruto tonight. It's his birthday."

"Eh?!"

"Naruto's birthday?!"

Suddenly, the missing princess of the Sand Village seemed a lot less important to the Genin.

A buzz of conversation broke out.

Ino: "That jerk! He never told me his birthday!"

Sakura: "Same! What's he hiding it for?!"

Hinata: "I didn't know either…"

Shikamaru rubbed his head in thought.

"…Should we get Naruto a gift tomorrow?"

"Forget it," Choji yawned. "Too much trouble."

But none of them realized that Temari wasn't the only one missing that night.

Uzumaki Naruto… and Anbu member Uzuki Yugao were both gone too.

Naruto's bed sat completely empty.

Spring passed, winter came, and another year slipped by.

"Naruto… how much longer do you think we'll be stuck in this world?"

Temari's face, once sharp with suspicion, now looked soft and wistful.

Too much time had passed. She could no longer tell whether this was reality or an illusion.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "No idea when the damn Graduation Certificate will finally come."

If this keeps going, I'll lose my mind…

Temari sighed. She looked down at Naruto, who was still half a head shorter than her.

This world was strange. There was endless food, clean water, fresh clothes, and every kind of entertainment—books, TVs, refrigerators, game consoles…

But only two people.

Temari reached out, took Naruto's hand, and guided it to the desk.

She turned slightly, pressing his palm down, her cheeks flushed.

A sweet, enchanting scent filled the classroom. Outside, the sky looked like it was brushed with soft, peach-pink clouds.

"Naruto… I miss you again."

Temari leaned down, unbuttoning his collar. Though she had long grown used to their bizarre life here, her heart still fluttered every time she looked into his eyes.

Naruto smiled gently. His palm slid to her thigh, rubbing the sheer black stocking softly.

Temari's legs were cold from the breeze, but Naruto's hands were warm, easing away the chill.

From fear and resistance… to comfort… and now to longing.

Even the coldest heart could be warmed with enough time.

But just then, the loudspeakers flared to life.

"A person of goodwill has arrived. Student Uzumaki Naruto, please recruit the goodwill individual Uzuki Yugao as your disciple. Once completed, your Graduation Certificate will be issued."

The moment Yugao entered the room, her eyes locked on Naruto…

…kissing Temari.

Her mental image of Naruto shattered instantly.