Konoha : Naruto's playground

Two figures landed lightly just outside the gates of Konohagakure no Sato. One was tall with a shock of bleached-white hair extending from his head to mid-back and the other was almost half the first's size with bright golden, spiky locks. The short one turned to his companion and in a quick movement of the arm and a puff of smoke, deposited an object into his outstretched hand. After resetting his clothes to a more acceptable manner, he grinned, gave a short wave and then disappeared in a burst of speed. The larger of the two pocketed the object smoothly before sighing and rubbing his wrinkled forehead in an obvious show of agitation. Regaining his previous nonchalance, he then strode through the massive gates to the Hidden Village of the Leaves.

To Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu, the two recently promoted Chuunin gatekeepers, they had no idea just how important those events were. Not only were they about to witness the largest scale 'non-violent' upheaval of their beloved village, but also Konoha would become a lot more interesting for gossip-mongers like them. Both recognised the taller Shinobi though; Jiraiya of the Sannin was a legend all over the world and a point of pride for anyone within Fire Country. They immediately stood to attention as the powerful ninja approached them, a full blown smile creasing his face as he glanced over the young Chuunin.

"Hey guys, I just got back. Mind writing up the interns? I gotta see Sarutobi-Sensei right away."

Kotetsu elbowed Izumo in the gut to stop his friend from shaking in the presence of such a powerful figure.

"H-HAI! JIRAIYA-SAMA!"

Jiraiya's smile only grew wider, and Kotetsu began to wonder just how far his mouth could stretch.

'Heh, they're so nervous it's like a toad on salt water!'

"Chill, chill! I don't bite!"

Izumo relaxed slightly at the light-hearted tone with which the Shinobi spoke. Pulling a check-in report sheet from the wooden cabin the pair were sitting in, he hastily grabbed a pen from the desk and began scribbling the details as fast as he could.

"If I may ask Jiraiya-Sama, who was your companion? And how did the mission go?"

Jiraiya nodded in acceptance to the question, his eyes becoming serious as he glanced up at the clouds.

"I'll be making my full report directly to the Sandaime so don't worry about it. The kid with me is safe; that was Uzumaki Naruto."

Both Chuunin's eyes widened in shock.

"U-Uzumaki is back?!"

Jiraiya glanced bemusedly at Izumo. The young ninja had mid-length, black hair reaching down to his neck, one side of which was pulled over the right side of his face totally covering his eye. He wore a blue, bandanna-style hitai-ate that seemed to be a fashion these days.

"Yeah, he's back. And we should be hearing the fireworks just about...now."

A large explosion rocked the ground and without any warning, every single piece of paper simply rose into the air, coalescing into the biggest paper-ball anyone had ever seen.

"W-What the –"

The white sheets were being pulled from all over the village; none were spared that were lying loosely outside including the report sheet held in Izumo's hand. A figure zoomed from the West side of the sky, apparently flying on a branch from a tree.

"That's him, isn't it?"

Jiraiya smirked at the foreboding tone with which Kotetsu spoke. The black, wild-haired Chuunin with a bandage wrapped around his head, covering his nose had gone very pale as he stared in shock at the monstrosity above. They watched in a daze as the bright-haired 10 year old stopped right beside the ball of paper; he threw some kind of powder onto the top before performing a few hand-seals. A small stream of water spewed from his mouth, drenching the paper through, but that didn't hold their attention for long.

What did, was the thick layer of rainbow-coloured gloop dripping from the top, and as they realised just what was about to happen, the two Chuunin cried out in shock.

"He won't..."

"Actually, I think he will!"

"He wouldn't dare!"

Jiraiya sweat-dropped at the banter between the two friends. They did know who they were talking about didn't they?

Naruto released his hold on the ball of paper, loose leafs not caught in the huge orb fluttering down with the wind scattering them all over the village.

And then it fell.

Jiraiya began to laugh, his deep, throaty chuckles only scaring the gatekeepers that much more. The Gama-Sennin delved into his pocket and pulled out a jet black camera that looked old and worn.

"Well guys, see ya' later. I gotta catch this stuff on film! After Iwa and Kumo, this should be a riot too! Man Sarutobi's gonna love those other pictures of the Tsuchikage after Naruto was through with him!"

The elite Shinobi fazed out of existence in an expert use of the Shunshin no Jutsu. Izumo and Kotetsu looked at each other in bewilderment.

"D-Did he just say...Tsuchikage?!"

Kotetsu nodded uncertainly.

Glancing up at the descending ball of doom, both Chuunin stopped and glanced at each other once again. Turning, they both jumped back into their cabin and hid under the counter.

There was no way in hell they were going to allow that to hit them! They shuddered next to each other when they heard a loud, child's voice scream into the sky.

"I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

XXXXXXX

Sarutobi just stared.

That's all he could do. First he was awoken in the early morning to a storm of paper whirling around in the sky like there was an invisible and extremely localised cyclone at the centre of the Village, then the entire Hokage tower was paint-bombed in a myriad of colours that reminded him oddly of Hatake Kakashi AND THEN he's told by his student that not only did Konoha's pariah bring Iwa and Kumo to their knees in puddles of tears, but also he had devastated Orochimaru's new Village and come out alive.

And now Jiraiya tells him that Minato's son had saved an entire Village by mistake.

"Er...Earth to Sensei?"

Sarutobi sat at his desk, multi-coloured paint dripping down the outside of his windows, his mouth slack, his pipe hanging loosely from his teeth and his eyes vacant.

It seems Naruto had that effect on a lot of people.

The only movement the venerable Hokage made was to work his jaw slightly, causing his smoking pipe to fall from his mouth and land on the surface of his polished mahogany desk with a clatter. Still, he made no movement or indication that he realised what had happened, or even heard the noise that his pipe had made.

"Err, Sensei, I understand your shock and all, but don't you want to see all these photographs? I had them developed after he pulled that stunt this morning."

Sarutobi's head whipped up when he heard the word 'photographs', his hand stretching out in-front of him moving in a 'give me' gesture.

Jiraiya sweat-dropped heavily; Sarutobi-Sensei was totally out of it.

Handing the small palm-sized photos to the elder Shinobi, the Gama-Sennin sat back and riveted his gaze on his ex-teacher's face. This was going to be too hilarious. Luckily he had Naruto's camera with him still so he could get a picture of the moment he saw that one...

Sarutobi's hands shook as he held the photos. After a few minutes staring in complete and utter shock at the horrified look on the face of a completely redecorated Tsuchikage's face, he hesitantly reached up and plucked the next one from the pack.

And almost had a heart attack.

Staring at him with a look of such intense hatred was the visage of his ex-prodigial student Orochimaru. He was stuck to what seemed to be a chair in the centre of a dimly-lit room with his nose covered in the same multi-coloured paint that seemed to be a constant in most of the Konoha Jinchuuriki's pranks.

"No...It just...No way..."

Sarutobi breathed out slowly as his mind struggled to comprehend the scene depicted in the image.

"Yes way!" Jiraiya chirped, a large grin spread across his cheeks.

"And that's not even the real prank! I'll tell you just what happened! First off Naruto went to Oto to see if he could pick up any new Jutsu but then he runs into Orochimaru, right? Check this: typical Hebi-teme beats the kid up and leaves him all battered up in the middle of a forest. So Naruto decides to get his own back."

The Sandaime paled considerably.

"H-his own back?"

Jiraiya threw back his head and laughed boisterously.

"Yup! Oh but he didn't do it half-baked! Oh no! He goes right in there, blows a hole through Oro-teme's roof, spray painting the entire place with his own idea of 'art', puts corn-flour in all the showers AND to top it off he set traps at every single entrance to the underground Village! The place was in TOTAL UPROAR Sensei! It was like a war was going on! And I'm not joking one bit!"

Sarutobi flopped backwards, resting his back on the chair as he stared flabbergasted at his one-time student.

"And you say he saved Nami no Kuni?"

"Hehe, yeah, funny story that one actually! He was practising his TSS on a hill and it kinda' blew him off-course. He ended up stabbing an evil businessman in the head with one of his swords just when the guy was about to behead the hero of the country..."

"T-TSS?"

Jiraiya raised a single, white eyebrow.

"You don't know about his extreme stunts?"

If it was possible, Jiraiya would swear later that he saw the Sandaime's eyes pop right out of his head, bounce along the floor and then return to their sockets.

"E-EXTREME SPORTS?!"

'OWCH!' thought Jiraiya, 'that came out too high-pitched for any respectable male!'

"Sensei, he's been flinging himself all over the world with this stunt! He did it hundreds of times here in Konoha! Are you seriously tellin' me you had no idea?!"

The elder Shinobi shook his head. Jiraiya sighed.

"It's a stunt that requires a huge amount of elastic force to fling you into the sky at high speeds. It's quite fun actually!"

"You speak as if you've tried this...TSS."

Jiraiya smiled cheekily.

"Of course I have!"

"And you're still alive?"

Jiraiya sweat-dropped for the third time that day. Did he look dead in any way?

"Hey, I didn't get it even half as bad as Snake-butt over there! Why, it was almost as bad as that time with the tiger-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" The Hokage screamed. That was taboo in his office, not even Jiraiya would break it.

Sarutobi slowly looked back down at the pictures in his hand. Shuffling through them, he alternated between gaping and sighing and for some reason there was a weird clicking noise in the background. Looking back up at his student who suddenly moved as if to hide something, he gazed questioningly.

"Ehehe...NOTHING!"

Sarutobi shook his head slowly. The two were so alike it was uncanny. So the Uzumaki heir had humiliated Iwa, Kumo and Oto whilst saving Nami no Kuni and apparently visiting Suna as well. Luckily Jiraiya had stated that only Iwa and Oto had recognised the child and both Villages had no ties to Hi no Kuni so there wasn't much of a political problem there. The real problem was with Kumo and Oto; Kumo were angry that Kakashi's team had breached their cease-fire contract and Orochimaru...

He was sure to seek revenge in the future. No one humiliated him.

No one.

Hiruzen rubbed his forehead in agitation. He was sure this would come back to bite them in the butt at some point. Such huge-scale pranks would not go unnoticed forever and countries like Iwa and Kumo were very likely to stew over such things. The venerable leader looked up at his student again, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Can I keep these?"

Jiraiya chuckled.

"Of course you can, Sensei

Of course you can."

XXXXXXXX

In a dark cavern far, far away, a group of ten extremely dangerous missing-nin appeared out of the blue. The one with silver-ringed eyes turned imperiously to the rest.

"Report."

It was like a ripple spreading out in the room as each member of the criminal organisation, Akatsuki, stood to attention. One figure, hunched-back with a cloth covering his face grunted dully before answering his leader.

"It seems Orochimaru has been having some...trouble lately."

The leader simply stared at the figure apparently waiting for him to continue.

"The Konoha Jinchuuriki laid waste to his complex a few weeks ago."

There was a sharp intake of breath from almost every member and even the leader's eyes widened although he didn't make a sound.

"What?"

The question was sharp, and the speaker looked around trying to figure out who had spoken before giving up. They were all virtual images anyway; it's not like knowing would do any good.

"Uzumaki Naruto decided to let off the largest prank in the world on Orochimaru and it turns out he has a very colourful nose at the moment...or so my spy seemed to think before I gutted him."

One member who stood out from the rest due to his glowing, crimson eyes responded to his fellow member.

"Sasori-san, was he caught?"

Said Shinobi turned his soulless gaze onto Uchiha Itachi. It seems the Uchiha didn't want his mark to be captured by anyone but himself.

"No, he was not."

Someone began to laugh uproariously and all eyes turned to a shark-like figure at the end of the dark cavern.

"You mean Snaky couldn't even handle a 9 year old brat?! Oh, that's rich that is! Itachi, I bet you don't feel so good about cutting the guy's hand off now, huh? I mean he got upstaged by a little kid!"

The Uchiha made no motion to respond to the not-so-hidden barb.

"Kisame, be silent. Is there anything else, Sasori?"

All eyes were once again directed at their resident spymaster.

"Indeed. It seems that he humiliated Iwa and Kumo too and somehow managed to turn the Kazekage's son from a murdering psychopath to a prank-master from hell. It also seems that he killed Gato from Gato enterprises."

Something exploded in the background and one member with long hair was catapulted out of his viewing area in his shock.

"*Beeping* Deidara, can't even control his own *beeping* bombs!"

The other members simply sighed at the stupidity of it all.

"It seems that the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki is far more powerful than we thought. Itachi, Kisame, be wary of him when you move out. Is there anything else anyone wants to add?"

No one answered.

"Very well. Zetsu continue to search for the Nibi. That will be all."

All of the images faded out apart from one.

Uchiha Itachi.

He stood with a contemplative look on his face, his blood-red, Sharingan eyes unfocused and unmoving in the darkness.

'Naruto-kun, how strong have you become?'

And with a final spark, the murderer of the Uchiha clan disappeared to whence he came.

XXXXXXXX

Mitarashi Anko could hardly feel her gut. It was a bad feeling, but for a very good reason. The reason she couldn't feel her gut was due to laughing so much that it felt as if her stomach was in her mouth.

And the reason for her laughter?

A bunch of photographs.

At first she had been shocked at seeing a peacock-nosed Orochimaru staring back at her and for a few minutes she had simply stared dumbly at the unbelievable moment depicted in the picture. And then she had realised the total and utter absurdity in the fact that a 9 year old...(A 9 YEAR OLD!) had stuck the second most infamous Konoha missing-nin in a position of such great humiliation.

"Is that...superglue?!"

"Yup!"

The purple-haired Tokubetsu Jounin stared bemusedly at the kid sitting beside her at the table of an oriental Dango store.

"Oh my god...how the hell did you pull all of that off gaki?"

Naruto shrugged lightly.

"HEY! He beat me up ya' know! I wasn't gonna take that lyin' down!"

Anko glanced back at the photo in her hands, before erupting into another bout of laughter. After calming down she wiped her eyes free of tears with the edge of a napkin. Flipping the picture over, she placed it at the back of the bunch.

"Wow, what a wedgie! HAHAHAHAHA! Did you really do that?!"

"Err...Yeah."

"Eheheh, oh that's the Raikage! Funny one that!"

"O_O"

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THEM?!"

"Umm..."

"And that one...oooo, that's gotta hurt! What was that? Corn-flour or something?"

"Yup!"

The purple-haired Jounin turned baleful eyes on her small companion. Flipping the last card to the back, she returned to staring at the picture of her incensed ex-Sensei.

'I think I'm gonna be laughing in my sleep for the next decade...'

"Alright Gaki, I said I'd train you, and you've obviously improved quite a bit if you could get away from ol' 'Rochi here...by the way, why the hell is he scratchin' his armpit?!"

Naruto had the decency to blush at that.

"Ummm...I kinda' put corn-flour in their showers?"

Anko's entire body shook as she stared at the blond idiot...NO! Total GENIUS sitting in front of her.

"Y-You..."

Naruto stumbled from his chair in his haste to get away from the look of total insanity on his friend's face.

"KYAH!"

Jumping forward, throwing the entire table on its side at the same time, the Konoha Jounin smothered her young student in a bear-hug.

"ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU!"

Naruto blushed deeply at the hug and the intensity with which the older woman squeezed him. It felt nice to just mess around and laugh at stupid things with other people...

Stepping back, the pony-tailed, purple-head regarded Naruto with a devious grin.

"Just to let ya' know kid...ya' know Kakashi right?...well he's still got paint on the right side of his head. He can't seem to get rid of it."

For a moment, Naruto looked dumbstruck. His mouth opened partially to say 'what' when a fuming Cyclops Jounin appeared right in his face.

"YOU!"

Naruto backed up hastily, pointing at his chest innocently.

"Me?"

"GET RID OF THIS PAINT NOW!"

Every single customer had been alerted to the newcomer as soon as he had announced his arrival, and many of them began pointing and chortling at the elite Jounin. Naruto caught the words 'paint-face' and 'Kabuki actor' from a few different sources.

Realising just what the Jounin had asked him to do, he brightened immediately and Kakashi suddenly lost all of his prior anger and certainty to indecision and fear.

"You want me to get rid of it for ya'? OKAY!"

Speeding through hand seals, the young Uzumaki executed a flawless Suiryudan, springing from a running faucet behind the store's counter, the water dragon slammed full-tilt into the elite-Jounin's face, rocketing him out of the entrance to the shop and into a side street. There was another click and Naruto and Anko stood chuckling next to their upturned table as Jiraiya walked onto the scene.

"Maaaaaan! That was too good to miss! Nice one Naruto! You didn't hurt him did ya'?"

Naruto grinned lightly.

"Nah, just put in enough Chakra to push him away that's all!"

Jiraiya shook his head as he smiled. That was one hell of a stunt!

"Alright, well I'm off to get these framed! See ya' kiddo!"

Jiraiya pocketed the camera with a wink before waving and strolling off.

"Are you telling me that all he needed was a little water and it would've come off?! But that can't be right! Hatake went to every water source available and tried to scrub it off! He was even gonna scrape it off with a Kunai at one point!"

Naruto giggled like the little child he was before turning back to the purple-haired Snake-mistress.

"It just needs Water-natured Chakra that's all! It's ninja Omni-paint!"

Anko 'Ahh'd' before descending into a fit of chuckles. For another few minutes they just stood there laughing at everything the pre-teen had been up to. Anko had to hand it to him; he was the single most unpredictable and crazy kid she had ever seen. Even more than her! And she was the one who had replaced the Hokage's sake with a sleep-inducing poison!

So that was saying something!

"Alright, brat. Training area 44 every day at 6AM sharp. We're gonna start on Taijutsu so be ready for it!"

Naruto turned eyes full of determination on his friend.

"You bet, Anko-san!"

XXXXXXXX

Higurashi Naoto stared in horror as the massive paper-Mache bomb descended over the Hokage tower. Screams began sounding all over the village and the heavy-set weapons-master glanced around to see other villager pointing up at the orb, hands held to their mouths.

'You'd think the world was going to end with a good old prank...Have these guys really forgotten the days of a young Minato?!'

Stepping back into his shop, he allowed himself to smile as he thought of the only person in the world with guts big enough to handle something on that scale. Breaking him from his thoughts, a drowsy voice spoke from behind him.

"Naoto-Sensei, why's everyone shouting? They woke me up."

Naoto's grin turned predatory.

"Naruto's back!"

The panda-styled girl's eyes shot open as if electrified and she ran towards the two big windows at the edge of the living room. Peering out through the throngs of people blocking the road, she looked up, her mouth going slack as the humongous ball of gloop went 'splat' all over the Hokage tower.

"U-Unreal..."

Naoto watched her carefully. She didn't cry, she didn't shout, her lip didn't even wobble. Pride welled-up inside him as he realised just what her calm actions meant.

She had figured it out, finally.

Smiling softly, he walked back towards his bedroom. The world was right once again.

XXXXXXX

"Okay, that should be enough Sasuke."

The young Uchiha gripped his knees as he panted from the amount of effort exerted in his training. Looking up at his cousin, he saw Shisui looking at him with kind eyes.

"That's enough for today. We can get back to this tomorrow and make sure you let your mum know this time!"

Sasuke sighed good-naturedly. Damn! His mum was always pestering him to be careful in his training! But he was going to be a ninja, just like his Kaa-san and Shisui-niisan and then he was going to kick the blond-haired kid's butt when he saw him!

In an explosion of noise, the two Uchiha survivors looked towards the Hokage tower as a massive ball of rainbow coloured...something hit the podium at the top and splattered all over the building; coloured paper sticking all over the outside and coating the windows with a fresh layer of paint.

Shisui whooped at the sight.

"Oh, HELL YEAH! NARUTO'S BACK!"

Uchiha Mikoto stuck her head out of the window and her eyes widened in shock at the 'beautification' of the debatably the most important building in the whole village.

"Oh my word! Did Naruto-kun really do that?!"

Young Sasuke stared at his mother in confusion.

'Naruto-kun?! Who's that?!'

Shisui loped off with an 'I'm going to check it out!' and a bright smile on his face. Sasuke shrugged and turned to go back inside.

"Sasuke, you didn't tire yourself out did you? I have some food out that you can have, or maybe you want some water? In that case –"

Said Uchiha sighed in exasperation.

"I'm taking a shower Okaa-san..."

And with that, he tumped up the stairs, questions involving balls, paint and for some reason a lot of mud, revolving in his brain.

ZZZZZZZ