Konoha Ninja Shop System

Eastern Fire Nation

"Oh man, what a headache! The ninja world is so vast… Who knows where Tsunade is hiding?"

Leaning against a large tree, Jiraiya sighed in frustration, rubbing his temples. Two full days had passed since he departed from Konoha to search for Tsunade somewhere within the vast expanse of the Land of Fire. Despite traveling tirelessly and asking around, he had found no trace of her. No clues, no sightings—nothing. Just endless towns, forests, and dead ends.

Frustrated, Jiraiya stood up and walked down a dusty path leading through a small village. A middle-aged man happened to be passing by. Jiraiya's eyes lit up with hope, and he hurriedly approached the stranger.

"Excuse me," Jiraiya asked politely, "have you seen a woman with long blonde hair around here?"

The man paused and scratched his head. "Hmm… any other features?"

Jiraiya hesitated for a moment. "Uh… well, she's got… really big breasts."

The man raised his eyebrows, suddenly far more interested. "How big are we talking?"

Jiraiya chuckled and raised his hands to form an exaggerated shape. "This big."

The man nodded in mock understanding. "Hehehe… wow, that's impressive! But no, I haven't seen anyone like that." He waved as he walked away.

Jiraiya sighed in exasperation. "Then why did you even bother asking?" he muttered.

Grumbling to himself, he crouched on the ground, clutching his hair. "Damn it! Where on earth could Tsunade have gone?"

It wasn't just a personal matter. Tsunade's return was urgent. Konoha needed a new Hokage, and the village elders had agreed that only she was suitable. But no one knew where she was, and time was running out.

Suddenly, a soft, eerie voice echoed beside him.

"Hello, Mr. Jiraiya~ I heard you're looking for Tsunade… I might have some valuable information. Are you interested?"

"Who's there?!" Jiraiya sprang to his feet, instantly alert. His eyes darted around, but there was no one in sight.

The voice came again. "Mr. Jiraiya, I'm down here!"

Jiraiya looked down and was startled to see a pale white head emerging from the ground. It looked like some kind of strange humanoid plant.

"Uh… you need help?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes please! I'm stuck," the creature said cheerfully.

With a puzzled look, Jiraiya grabbed the strange being by the head and tugged. With a pop, it came free. The full form of White Zetsu emerged—part humanoid, part plant, and entirely bizarre.

"What the hell are you?" Jiraiya asked, raising an eyebrow.

The creature dusted himself off, then reached into… somewhere… and pulled out a small business card, which he handed over.

"Mr. Jiraiya, I am an employee of Ninja World All-Known Service Co., Ltd. My employee number is 007. I'm delighted to be of service to you today!"

Jiraiya squinted at the card. "Wanshitong… Service Co., Ltd.?"

"That's right! Our company is the most advanced intelligence provider in the entire ninja world. We have operatives in every country, monitoring events big and small. If there's something you want to know, we've got the answer!" 007 explained enthusiastically.

Jiraiya looked skeptical. "Really now… that sounds too good to be true."

007 tilted his head and smiled. "Three days ago, you were caught peeping at the women's bathhouse near Tanba Town. Your face is now on several wanted posters."

Jiraiya's expression turned pale. "Okay, okay, stop! I get it! I believe you!"

"Excellent!" 007 said with a wink. "Now, I heard you were looking for Tsunade's whereabouts. Would you like to purchase some intel?"

"Yes! Please!" Jiraiya said without hesitation. "Tell me where she is right now!"

"Very well! That'll be 100,000 ryo as a deposit. Once you pay, I'll start the search process."

Without a second thought, Jiraiya handed over the money. 007 accepted the pouch, nodded approvingly, and said, "Payment received. We'll deliver the information within five minutes. Please wait."

"Five minutes? That fast?" Jiraiya blinked. "Impressive…"

True to his word, five minutes later, 007 popped out of the ground again.

"Good news, Mr. Jiraiya! We've located Tsunade! Please pay the 100,000 ryo retrieval fee, and I'll give you the exact location."

"There's a second fee?" Jiraiya frowned.

007 rolled his eyes. "Of course! The first fee was for the search. Now you're paying for the result. Standard company policy."

Grumbling, Jiraiya handed over another 100,000 ryo. He was starting to regret this.

007 bowed. "Thank you! A dedicated guide will be dispatched to lead you to Tsunade shortly. I hope you'll use our services again!" With that, he dived back underground.

Jiraiya stood frozen. "Did I just get scammed?"

He groaned, slapped his forehead, and muttered, "I can't believe this… I, the great Toad Sage Jiraiya, just got hustled by a mole-man with a business card."

Just then, another figure popped up from the ground. Jiraiya's eyes narrowed.

"Hello again!" the White Zetsu greeted. "I'm the guide for your journey. Employee number 0007. I'm delighted to assist you!"

Jiraiya's jaw dropped. "You again?!"

"Yes, sir! But I'm a different employee now—different ID, different job!" 0007 said proudly, handing over another business card.

Jiraiya stared at it, then sighed. "Fine. Lead the way already."

"Certainly! But first, please pay the 500,000 ryo guiding fee and a 100,000 ryo labor fee."

Jiraiya's face twitched. "Didn't I already pay?!"

"Ah, that was 007's fee. I'm 0007. This is a new service!" the guide chirped.

Gritting his teeth, Jiraiya reluctantly handed over the cash. His wallet was bleeding, but he had no choice.

"Excellent!" 0007 beamed. "Before we begin, please fill out this five-star review form and write a 100-word testimonial. Company rules!"

Jiraiya's veins bulged on his forehead. "Are you f*****g kidding me?!"

"I'm just a humble employee, sir," 0007 replied pitifully. "If I don't get enough stars, I don't get paid…"

Jiraiya took the form with a deep sigh and muttered as he wrote, "The underwear is of great quality, melts in the mouth, doesn't stick to the pan when washed, and children especially love to eat it…"

"Thank you for your cooperation!" 0007 said cheerfully. "Now, let's set off!"

With that, 0007 darted ahead at high speed. Jiraiya followed close behind, breathing a sigh of relief that the ridiculous exchange was finally over.

Then, just as quickly, 0007 skidded to a halt and turned around.

"Oops! Sorry, Mr. Jiraiya, I went the wrong way!"

Jiraiya's eye twitched. He stood still for a few seconds, fists clenched.

"…I'm starting to doubt this company's professionalism."

He looked up at the sky, as if asking the heavens for patience. "What do I do if I fall victim to a fraudulent business making false claims? Waiting online… very urgent!"

pàtreøn (Gk31)