Konoha: The Honored One

(A/N: Okay! So I accidentally swapped the last two chapters—fixing it now so things actually make sense lol. Sorry about that.)

Because the meeting room had been trashed beyond recognition during their earlier "discussion," the Kage and their entourages relocated to the reception room of the Iron Country's administrative building. It wasn't the ideal venue for hashing out the fate of the ninja world, but at least the furniture was still intact. For now.

The Kage gathered around a modest coffee table, their guards standing stiffly behind them, faces set in stone. The air was thick with tension as they discussed the Akatsuki's relentless campaign to capture the tailed beasts.

Tsunade leaned forward, her fingers drumming against the armrest of her chair. "So far, Akatsuki has snagged a disturbing number of our tailed beasts," she said, her tone sharp enough to slice through the awkward silence.

The Raikage's fists clenched, his knuckles cracking ominously, while Mei Terumi took a delicate sip of tea, the epitome of grace under pressure. Tsunade, on the other hand, was visibly restraining herself from reaching for a bottle of sake.

Onoki, the elderly Tsuchikage, groaned as he shifted in his seat, one hand rubbing his perpetually aching back. "This is precisely why I haven't retired yet," he grumbled, his raspy voice dripping with irritation. "You young folk are reckless, clueless, and utterly incapable of managing the world you've inherited. If I leave things to you lot, everything will fall apart before I can finish my tea!"

Raikage snorted, crossing his arms, but said nothing. Mei raised an eyebrow, amused but silent.

On the other side of the room, Gojo was sprawled across a plush sofa, the picture of indifference. Dressed in his Hokage robes but with his usual blindfold in place, he was a walking contradiction—impossibly laid-back yet radiating an aura of authority. As the conversation carried on, he forked a piece of strawberry cake into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"Ah, spare me the lecture, Grandpa," Gojo drawled, pointing his fork at Onoki as if it were a gavel. "If you're so bent out of shape—literally—why not dig a hole and jump in? Save us all the drama."

The room fell silent. Onoki's eye twitched, his already small frame seeming to puff up with barely suppressed rage. Behind him, Heitu shifted uncomfortably, her expression a mix of exasperation and something… else.

"You'd better watch your mouth, Gojo," Onoki growled, his tone sharper than the kunai strapped to his side.

Gojo smirked, his blindfold somehow enhancing his infuriatingly smug demeanor. He reclined further, gesturing lazily with his fork. "Relax, old-timer. You're like a vintage tea set—cute to look at but completely useless in a crisis."

Onoki's face turned crimson, veins bulging in his temples. His guards stiffened, ready to intervene, but before anyone could act, Gojo's attention shifted.

"Hey, leg ninja," he said suddenly, his tone dripping with mischief.

Heitu froze, her face a picture of confusion. "W-what did you just call me?"

Gojo grinned, leaning forward. "You've been staring at me for the last five minutes. What? See something you like?"

The room collectively turned to Heitu, whose cheeks now matched the shade of Onoki's cloak. She sputtered, flailing for a response. "W-what are you talking about?! And who are you calling leg ninja?!"

"You've got legs, don't you?" Gojo replied with a casual shrug. "It seemed fitting." He leaned back, smirking. "Don't worry; I get it. My charm is hard to resist. If you want, I'll let you take a photo with me. Only ten thousand ryo per snapshot."

Heitu's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?!"

"Completely," Gojo said, his grin widening. "Handsome guys like me don't come cheap."

"I wouldn't pay a single ryo to take your stupid picture!" she snapped, though her inner thoughts betrayed her. Ten thousand ryo isn't that much… maybe if I negotiated down to eight thousand…

Gojo chuckled, clearly enjoying her turmoil. "Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that."

Tsunade cleared her throat, dragging the conversation back to its grim purpose. "Let's focus on the issue at hand," she said, her tone leaving no room for argument. "Akatsuki has already captured several tailed beasts. If we don't act soon, we'll be handing them the keys to world domination."

Raikage slammed his fist on the table, causing the tea cups to jump. "They took the Two-Tails from the Cloud! My brother, Killer Bee, is next on their list. I won't let those bastards get away with it!"

Mei Terumi sighed, setting her cup down with measured precision. "The Three-Tails from the Mist has already fallen into their hands," she said, her voice calm but tinged with worry. "And as for the Six-Tails…"

Her gaze slid toward Gojo, and her polite smile turned icy. "It's currently in your possession, Hokage. Care to explain how that happened?"

Gojo didn't even glance up from the novel he'd pulled out of his pocket. "Yeah, about that," he said casually. "I found it wandering around and figured it could use a new home. Consider it a rescue operation."

Mei's smile didn't waver, but her eyes narrowed dangerously. "That 'rescue operation' violated our treaty. You crossed borders, captured our Jinchūriki, and confiscated our ninja tools. We want them back."

Gojo turned a page, unbothered. "Oh, the tools? They're great—real time-savers. You should try labeling your stuff if you don't want it to 'wander off.'"

The room groaned collectively, the exasperation palpable. Even Tsunade, who'd seen her fair share of nonsense, looked like she was debating whether punching Gojo was worth the paperwork.

As the argument dragged on, Gojo leaned further into the sofa, flipping another page. "Man," he muttered under his breath, "Pervy Sage really needs to pick up the pace with this series. I'm almost out of chapters."

Despite the looming threat of the Akatsuki, the tension in the room was increasingly overshadowed by Gojo's irreverent antics. The Kage were no closer to a resolution, but one thing was certain—wherever Gojo was, chaos followed.