Konoha: The Honored One

"Almost forgot those three troublemakers with Gaara." Gojo glanced into the distance, his Six Eyes locking onto Team 7 as they tangled with Gaara in the forest.

Meh, let 'em play a bit, Gojo thought. I'm a responsible adult, after all—can't be going around bullying kids.

He glanced back at the Hokage building, where Sarutobi was locked in a tense battle. The old man was struggling, holding back, unwilling to go all-out against his twisted former student.

"Man, gramps Sarutobi's soft. He's got the strength to finish Orochimaru off, but he's being too sentimental. Really, he's gotten old—both in strength and will."

With a dramatic sigh, Gojo shrugged. Well, no use helping a guy who's clearly chosen 'mercy' as his strategy.

A smirk lit up his face. "Guess I'll just grab some snacks and enjoy the show." Fishing his frog wallet out of his pocket, he opened it and frowned. "Only 30,000 Ryo? Seriously? Kids these days, skimping on allowance for their own teacher!"

Back at the top of the Hokage building, the battleground raged. Vast forests stretched across the rooftop as Sarutobi struggled to keep up with the relentless attacks of the reanimated First and Second Hokage.

Orochimaru's voice oozed malice. "Look at you, Sarutobi-sensei. Once hailed as the Professor, but now? You can't even save your village, let alone beat your enemy. Face it: you're old and weak. I've surpassed you."

With a devilish grin, Orochimaru tore off his own face to reveal his latest twisted choice of a body—a woman's.

"You… Orochimaru…" Sarutobi's eyes widened, clutching his bleeding stomach. He recognized Orochimaru's forbidden research, and now it was clear: Orochimaru had completed it.

"Sorry, monkey," Senju Hashirama, reanimated and under Orochimaru's control, sighed as he kicked Sarutobi straight in the gut, sending him sprawling into a tree. Sarutobi's limbs were quickly bound by writhing vines, leaving him pinned and helpless.

Orochimaru sneered at Sarutobi. "These two used to protect the village… Now, they'll destroy it for me!"

Meanwhile, Gojo had made himself comfortable on top of the barrier, casually munching on dango. "Come on, Sarutobi! You can take 'em!" he shouted around a mouthful, waving his dango like a cheerleader's pompom.

Orochimaru's face twitched as he caught sight of Gojo. If he was here, it meant Sand's forces had probably been wiped out. "Gojo..." he muttered, suddenly nervous. With Gojo in play, his plan might actually fall apart.

Gojo grinned, calling down with a wicked chuckle, "Aw, Orochimaru, rocking the lady look now, huh? Two out of ten for the face, maybe two for the figure."

Orochimaru's face contorted. "A mere container." he hissed, eyeing Gojo's casual form with thinly veiled envy.

"Seriously, just settle down and find a nice guy already." Gojo shot back, rolling his eyes.

Sarutobi struggled below, his frustration mounting. "Gojo! Will you stop fooling around?! Orochimaru's trying to destroy the village!"

Hashirama Senju, in the midst of attacking, suddenly took notice of Gojo. He cocked his head, confused. "Is he from the village? His chakra feels… oddly like Tsunade's."

"Who, me?" Gojo called down with a smirk, still chewing on his snack. "Well, if you must know, I'm Tsunade's husband. Five kids together, got the papers and everything."

Everyone froze, including the reanimated Hokage. Only Hashirama's shocked gasp broke the silence. "Five kids?!"

Orochimaru, momentarily speechless, tried to process Gojo's outrageous lie, while Gojo merely took another bite of dango. "Yep, it's true. Senju family just keeps rising. Uchiha? Gone. But us? Flourishing!"

Tobirama Senju's jaw tightened. "Honestly, I'd be mad if I weren't already dead," he muttered. "That… is one heck of a legacy. And no more Uchicha? This bring a smile to my face."