Konoha's Medical Ninja: One Punch to beat up Madara

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*Read* Also, there will be four chapters today, let's gooo! This is as thanks to my patrons, and you lot can enjoy it too xD

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Konohagakure was a vast village.

Though just a village in name, it was in fact the second largest city in the Land of Fire after the capital.

After all, the life of a shinobi was one of high risks and high rewards.

Each elite ninja amassed considerable wealth.

Hence, Konoha's business districts thrived as well.

Whether respectable...or less so.

While ninjas adhered to strict rules, indulgences like alcohol and intimacy were hardly uncommon.

Shinobi were warriors who bathed in the blood of battle. A bit of fun was only natural.

This allowed certain...unsavory industries to flourish in Konoha, second only to the nation's famous Kama Sutra Alley.

Not far from the Hyūga Compound, on Colt's usual route home, lay a rather disreputable street that remained shuttered by day but came alive at night with blazing neon lights.

Colt often lamented the harsh realities of the ninja world.

A world where children as young as five could graduate and be sent to kill on the battlefield.

Did one really need to be an adult to visit those kinds of establishments?

But today, he spotted a figure there who definitely should not have been present.

...

"Let me go, let me go!"

Naruto was being forcibly carried by two burly men, kicking wildly in the air.

"You little demon brat, this is no place for you right now. Go play your ninja games!"

Reaching the entrance, the strongmen flung Naruto out while mocking him.

"Damn it, I'll definitely come back again!"

Naruto fumed, but no one paid him any more mind.

"Naruto, why are you here...?"

A soft, chiding voice came from behind, sending a chill down his spine.

"?"

Naruto turned to find Colt eyeing him with an incredulous, almost disappointed look.

"Why are you here Colt?"

"Shouldn't you answer me first?"

Colt looked him over appraisingly. It was hard to believe that this loud, mischievous kid would venture into such an establishment.

"What do you mean?" Naruto scratched his head, not understanding Colt's meaning.

"I came here to perfect my ninjutsu."

"Ninjutsu?" Colt was even more confused now. What sort of technique required visiting the red-light district?

"Yeah," Naruto patiently explained. "I've noticed many uncles get nosebleeds when they see scantily-clad ladies."

"If I incorporate that effect into my Transformation Jutsu, I can beat Sasuke for sure."

At the mention of his rival, Naruto's eyes blazed with determination.

Colt could only sigh in exasperation and amusement. So that's how the Sexy Jutsu was born.

No wonder Naruto's seduction skills took such an... unconventional form, with those provocative pigtails that felled many a pervert.

The boy's curiosity had led him down quite the unorthodox training path.

"So, you came here to gather references for your...technique."

"Yup, that's the reference material!" Naruto nodded vigorously, smiling with complete innocence, utterly oblivious to the district's true nature.

Since they had crossed paths, Colt invited Naruto over for dinner.

Thanks to Colt's status at the academy, Naruto had gained a few friends among their peers.

But out in the village, many still scorned him as a demon.

Numerous stores refused to serve the Jinchūriki boy.

Colt often had Naruto over, ensuring he received proper nutrition.

As for that anime scene of Naruto drinking spoiled milk, Colt figured the boy simply didn't know any better about expiry dates.

...

Academy life continued onward, though not quite the same as before.

After his defeat against Colt, Sasuke became utterly fixated on him as his new benchmark.

This week alone, Sasuke had challenged Colt three times.

And the results were hardly surprising - he lost every bout.

However, he had gained enough control to avoid outright crushing Sasuke. That would only shatter the Uchiha's fighting spirit.

Instead, by letting Sasuke lose by a narrow margin each time, the boy remained convinced he could soon surpass Colt.

This allowed Colt to keep steadily accumulating gains while Sasuke unknowingly provided him substantial System points despite his lower strength.

Even without inheriting the Indra chakra, Colt would not lose out.

And Sasuke did not grow discouraged, as Colt fostered the illusion that victory was imminent.

Thus, the week flew by until Saturday arrived.

As instructed by the Third, Colt arrived punctually at Training Ground 1, neatly dressed and ready.

Yet when he got there, the place was empty.

After waiting a full two hours, growing steadily more impatient, Kakashi finally appeared in a casual saunter.

The jonin had a book engaged, so engrossed that he did not even look up as he spoke.

"My, seems I'm late again."

Seeing it was Kakashi, Colt raised an eyebrow but greeted him politely nonetheless.

"Kakashi-senpai."

"You know me?" Kakashi glanced up briefly.

"Of course, I know Konoha's foremost jutsu specialist, the Copy Ninja Kakashi."

Kakashi did not dwell on it, cutting straight to the point.

"I was commissioned by Lord Third to provide you with some supplementary ninjutsu instruction. Let me know if you have any particular needs."

Only then did Colt realize it would not be the Third himself teaching, but Kakashi.

To be honest, he felt a tad disappointed.

While renowned as a master of thousands of techniques, Colt could discern that Kakashi truly excelled only in his signature Lightning Cutter.

"I'd prefer to learn some powerful one-hit kill ninjutsu."

"Also, Kakashi-senpai, what interesting book are you reading there?"

Colt asked with feigned innocence, causing Kakashi to quickly put away the literature in embarrassment.

"Just a... dull ninja story. Nothing special."

Colt pouted inwardly. He knew full well it was the infamous Icha Icha series, the first erotic novels tailored for shinobi audiences.

He had plenty of curiosity about those legendary, if raunchy, books that had yet to be published in his previous world.

It's just that as a minor, no bookstore would sell them to him currently.

"Very well, since you want to learn from me, let me gauge your affinity and abilities first."

Deftly changing the subject, Kakashi adopted a serious air.

Colt did not object. He genuinely wished to spar against Kakashi and experience the full extent of the gap between them.

The two took their positions, the bout about to commence.