Life starting from a new summer.

I was roaming , outside the house, on the lawn. The night air clung to my face like a bare whisper of an angel, hugging me in its warmth. Suddenly my little brother came , running from inside and wrapped around my knees.

" Oh , what are you doing here, Yan Yan?", i asked him as he playfully smiled.

"Yan yan wann go..ooside"

I smiled, he probably meant outside, but his toungue hadn't caught up with his thoughts yet.

"Why do you wanna go outside?"

"I want...ice ceem!!", it made me laugh.

"But its so late-"

I was intentionally cut off, by one and only Izyaan.

" Lets go get some ice cream, shall we?", Izyaan's' voice came from behind, the voice of smoke and sin.

My little brother and i turned around, at the same time, but before i could even react he took off running and literally wrapped himself around Izyaan's knees, giggling with excitement.

Izyaan laughed (he freaking laughed), trying to keep his balance, as the tiny arms clung to him, like he was a human size version of a cone.

But there was something in the moment, the summer's whisper, or a promise of ice-cream, maybe more than the little happiness that dont need words.

"Les go Lin lin!", he said, and then waited for me to say yes, with those large puppy eyes, that i can't refuse to.

And i end up standing infront of a bike.

Not just any bike.

A massive, black beast of a machine. His bike.

"A bike?"i asked, blinking.

"yeah", he said casually , swinging his keys, "Anything wrong with it"

"Uh yuh, how exactly are the three of us supposed to fit on that thing?", i asked pointing between me, my brother and the hulking metal monster.

He froze." three of us?", he reapeated

Then his expression twisted, a small smirk played on his lips. God no, dont tell me that i wasn't invited. Right now i want to make a hole in the ground and pray that it would swallow me whole.

I blinked, hard.

"Who said you were going", he added , with a most devilish smirk, so sharp that it could cut the glass.

I stared at him. embarrassed and stuned.

He held my gaze which seems like hours, then laughed under his breath-cocky and dangerous.

"Didn't know 'tag along' was your thing". he said.

I forced a sweet smile, and stepped closer ,his face an inch away.

"And i didn't know arrogance come with wheels, seems like we both are learning new things"

He was caught off gaurd like he didn't expected that comeback and to be honest i didn't either.

"I want ice ceem", my brother , interupted. 

Izyaan looked down at him and smiled, the same type of smile he gave to Layla. He bent down to reach his level and then whispered something in his ear. whatever it was , it made him light up , and he rushed inside.

"What did you tell him?"

He ignored my question and casually mounted the bike like a scene staright out of a movie.

He passed me the spare helmet, a beige color one, more feminine. I wonder how many girls have wore that before me. I took it from him and stared at it and then looked up at him.

"lets get some ice cream for him" he said and waited for me to climb behind, but i just stood there.

"Are you gonna sit behind...or do you need some help?", he said the last part with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and climbed behind him, it was the first time i sat on a bike, let alone a beast of a bike. It was a bit wired, being so close to him.

"Hold me tight", he demanded, and then added." just so i dont get involve in any accident, not like i care about you"

Liar. i thought.

He hummed like he read my mind.

I held him so tight, mostly because i have no intention of falling and partly beacuse he said so, i could feel the heat radiating from his body , i was so close and it was so strange, a funny feeling rushed inside me, but i try to press it down.

And then he started coughing like not getting enough oxygen.

"Not this tight, you wanna choke me or somehting?!"

"I just dont want to fall", i said innocently and loosed the grip a bit.

"I wont let you", he said instantly, and i believed him.

He started the engine, and the black beast of a machine was alive and electric, sending shivers down my spine, and we exit the house, me and him, us.

The wind hit my face in a rush-cool, wild, free. My hairs whipped behind me, tangled in t he breeze, and for a brief moment it felt like i am flying, i am free -flying in the skies of mystical romance.

The city- reavealed it's vibrant mode, and the blur of its light and movement .Neon signs blinked, and the hot steam from food stalls started mixing with the night breeze, the aroma of different street food, interwind, cars slid by in a streak of silver, music spilling out of different cafes. Everything felt alive. It was midnight but it felt like the day just got started.

The tyres beaneath us kissing the road, in a rythmic motion, as we near the main place, the scent of chai, corns and smoke filled the air, interwining with the cold scent of metal.

I didn't speak , I dont have to.

The silence between us spoke-the truth, the lies, his trust, my trust, open secrets , the way his body becomes alive with my single tap, and the way he steal glances at me in the side mirror, the way his shoulder brushes mine in every turn, and something...i won't name, not yet.

It wasn't just a ride.

It was freedom.

It was electricty.

It was something that i dont need to know.

We stopped infront of different cafe's as he paked his bike infront of a tree. i hopped off and then stood still to find my balance , he glanced at me and then took off his helmet, and then motioned his hand towards me. Imade a face.

"Excuse me i am not going to hold you hand!"

He scoffed.

"Trust me, that is the last thing i wanna do right now....but i really need my helmet", his eyes travelled on to the helmet, that i am wearing.

God!! he meant the helmet not your stupid hand.....i wanna get swallowed by the floor.

I took off the helmet and give it to him, and then turned around, and started walking without waiting for him, but his long legs caught up my pace.

"You want to eat brownie?", he asked innocently.

"I thought we were here for ice cream!"

"No we weren't", i froze in my place and stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

A ghost of a smirk lingered on his face.

"I already told Ayan that ice cream is in the refrigiator .....he may have eaten it by now", he said nonchalantly.

"Then why are we here?" , i demanded. can this man be more annoying.

"I don't know", he said like this isn't a big deal to him, but it is to me.

" You should", I spitted out, rage building inside me, beacuse how dare he had this audacity to lie to me.

He observed me. 

I turned and started walking back towards the bike, not really thinking, just moving.

"Do you even know where r u going?" he called out behind me, half laughing.

And just like that i stopped

Like something had hit me.

Hard.

Like a rocket.

Because that is exactly what they used to call me , back at home.

The mean girls , the wanna be cool boys.

Do she even know where she is going!!

Like i didn't belong here, like i would never.

The weight of it hits my chest- the memories flooded in the back of my mind, pushing its way foward, and hurting on the bruises that never healed.

For a second i just stood there, looking at the road like it has all the answers that i am looking for ,like it could tell me who i am, if i kept walking long.

But it can't, no one can.

The memories flooded back, that one time in sophomore year, i stopped- going to school and socializing. I didn't go for two whole weeks because i didn't have the courage to face the muffled whispers and judgy stares. I still can't forget how that one girl, spreaded rumors- filthy rumors about me, that how i am a threat to school and that my family is involved in criminal activities.

I cried for days. After two weeks, i went to school, and nobody cared. Some thought i died and some didn't even knew i existed.

But then he came to me as i was standing infront of my locker, and put his hand on my back-Suho.

He looked like, someone straight out of a glossy magazine, with features sculpted with tenderness. The mole under his eye, plumped lips and tinted pink and the starry eyes. his skin was flawless like poracelin, with a dust of pink settled on his cheeks. He had black hairs , not dark but rich-almost ink-like ,which were most of the time styled, effortlessly. Like he didn't tried at all and still managed to look pefect. He was the tallest person in our year, maybe 5'11, or 6'0. 

He then asked me if i was okay....it was the first time someone was ever concerned for me and from then, we became friends, we used to spend our lunch break together, and we also had same subjects though.

We have discovered this abandoned block of our school, which was once a hostel now our hide out. We used to sit for hours, there, and skipped our classed, and also share our food, he used to bring those yummy Teok-bokki that his mom used to make, and Iused to bring Biryani.

Eventually we became bestfriends. He was the first person from school to ever come to my house, we used to go to movies together, read each other books and bake cookies. or go grocery shopping with my parents, or my dad would bore him with his collection of watches.

Then one day , we were playing in my front yard when a truck stopped infront of the house, lined with ours. And Zelda stepped out, and the first time I saw her I knew that we would be best friends.

She walked out like, she owned the ground beneath. her-chin high, eyes cold, smile sharp enough to cut glass.

Her hairs were blonde and flawless, cascading over her shoulder, in smooth waves. But it was her eyes that stopped you ice-blue and unblinking, that could looked through your soul, like she was always two steps ahead.

She didn't need her voice to be heard.

She didn't need permission to make space.

She just need her aura, her bare presence, and that was enough to make spiders crawl on you back.

"As a matter of fact, i do", i replied ,deadpan. 

 ************

God i dont know here to go, i just stomped off beacuse of rage, but the truth is that i really dont know where am i going, stupid ego. 

Slowly ,the light were going off, calling the darkness of the night to take over, the wind became cold, hitting like hurtful words, straight on my face, and as i walked on the secluded road, it beacome more darker, no one was there, just me and my shadow following me. I looked up and it was a starless sky, only a single moon shinning there-atleast he's following me. It also looked lonely. but beautifyl.

The barking of dogs hollowed and the only sound was of a chirping insect followed by my footsteps, my shoes against the asphalt.

The wind hollowed, the night roared. That man is an ashhole ( i cant curse), he left me just like that, i half hoped that he would follow me atleast, guess life isn't a k-drama. i stopped and sat on the road. It was stupind of me to even come with him, i dont know what i am doing here. nowhere.

Stupid ice cream.

Then something flashed on my face like a candle iluminating the darkness or the sun , waking the whole world up, a hope, in the room full of despair, followed by the loud roar of a black beast of a machine.

I stood up as he stopped his bike infront of me. He took off his helmet, and revealed his smirking face.

"Missed me rocket... lets go", Izyaan smirked. "before you launch yourself into another dynamic situation"

"You are ridiculous!", i muttered.

"And you love it , sunshine."

As i was about to sit , his big mouth spoke.

"nuh nuh nuh...first you have to apologize", he said , like he is the most innocent devil in the whole universe.

"Why would i say sorry"

"What!!" he said dramatically." can't hear you saying sorry"

"What am i sorry for?"

He stared into my eyes, the silence settling between us, and then just like that he gave me the spare helmet and and motioned for me to sit behind. i sat behind him, hugging his waist as i rested my cheek on his back.

"Hold me tight!", he said and we took off.