Chapter 3: “When the Washing Machine Eats a Carrot”
Two weeks passed really smoothly. Kaito thought Chiaka was going to bring some discipline into his life, but he soon found out—she was no different than Miyuki. In fact, she might've been worse.
One sunny morning, somewhere in the chaos that was their apartment, a strange sound woke Kaito.
Crunch... crunch… rustle.
He sat up, eyes barely open. "Huh…? Are there rats in the kitchen?"
Another loud crunch echoed from the living room.
Still half-asleep and with hair sticking up like he'd battled a windstorm, he shuffled out of his room. The sight awaiting him made him freeze.
Chiaka was sitting in the middle of the sofa like royalty, surrounded by three empty chip bags and holding a large bowl of instant noodles like a sacred offering. Her legs were stretched across the coffee table, her black hair messy and falling over one shoulder. She was wearing his oversized hoodie again.
The hoodie almost reached her knees.
Almost.
"What the hell are you doing?" Kaito asked, blinking in disbelief.
She looked up mid-bite, mouth still full. "Hnng?"
"I said, what. Are. You. Doing?" He pointed at the wreckage in front of her. "It's not even 10 in the morning! You've already finished three bags of chips?! And what's with the noodles?!"
Chiaka calmly swallowed and patted her stomach. "Breakfast."
"Breakfast?! That's not breakfast! That's a heart attack waiting to happen!"
"Better to explode full and happy," she replied, slurping another bite.
Kaito stared. "...You're a menace."
She raised her chopsticks and pointed dramatically. "You should try living a little, Kaito. Just relax. Breathe in… and snack out~"
He facepalmed. "There's curry on the blanket."
"Yeah, I may have spilled some... But I flipped it over, so now it's on the bottom side. Genius, right?"
He opened his mouth to argue—then closed it. Then opened it again. "You flipped the blanket instead of cleaning it?!"
"It's called problem-solving, duh."
He stood there for five seconds. Silent.
Then turned away, muttering, "I'm going back to bed. This is a dream. A nightmare. I'll wake up soon."
But he didn't.Instead, a short while later, reality set back in—as it always did.
Kaito had cleaned up the living room (again), washed dishes (again), and was finally preparing lunch. The sizzling sound of onions on the pan filled the kitchen.
Chiaka peeked in, wrapped in the blanket like a dramatic ghost. "Smells goooood~ What're we eating?"
"Omelet rice."
"Oooooh~ my favorite! You're seriously husband material, you know?"
"Don't call me that. It's creepy."
"I'm serious! If I marry someone, I want him to cook just like this."
Kaito turned around slowly, knife still in hand. "Then go marry a chef."
"Hmm… but chefs are always busy. You're the perfect home-style husband."
"Stop talking like I belong on a product label."
"Hehe~ fine, fine. Want some help?"
He squinted. "Are you going to be actual help or disaster help?"
"I'll be helpful-help!"
"…Alright. Peel these carrots. Just peel. No cutting, no slicing, just peel."
"You got it, boss!" she saluted like a soldier about to enter battle.
Just minutes later...
"Chiaka… why is there an entire peeled carrot inside the washing machine?"
"I… I thought it was the sink," she replied, looking guilty.
"THE SINK IS THREE FEET AWAY."
"I panicked! And I slipped! Also, the carrot rolled out of my hand like an action movie!"
Kaito dropped his forehead into his palm. "I don't even… what does that mean?!"
Chiaka put her hands together solemnly. "Let's take a moment of silence for Mr. Carrot. May his journey be clean."
"GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!"
Eventually, after surviving carrot mishaps and potential breakdowns, lunch was served.
Chiaka bounced into her seat with childlike excitement. "It looks soooo good! Like, restaurant level!"
Kaito took a sip of water. "Yeah, well, it's not like I had a gremlin interfering this time."
"Excuse you. I'm a goddess, not a gremlin."
"Goddesses don't toss vegetables into washing machines."
"Maybe I'm a new type of goddess."
"More like a boss-level enemy from a cleaning game."
Chiaka laughed and took a bite. "Mmm~ Kaito, seriously, you're amazing at this."
He blinked. That… actually sounded genuine.
"You really think so?" he asked, surprised and slightly flustered.
"Yup. I mean, I suck at everything, so having someone like you around makes life easy~"
"You're not supposed to be proud of that."
She leaned her cheek against her palm, smiling softly. "Well, I feel at home here already. So thanks."
For a moment, Kaito paused. The teasing vanished. The warmth in her voice… it felt honest.
"...Yeah. Sure. Just don't turn the bathroom into a war zone."
"Too late."
"What?!"
"Kidding! …Maybe."
The sun had started to dip by the time Kaito stepped out of the shower later that day, towel draped over his head.
And there it was again—chaos in its purest form.
Chiaka was lying flat on the floor in front of the fan, crop top and tiny shorts, soda in one hand, gaming controller in the other.
"Heyyyy~" she said, eyes half-lidded.
"What are you doing now?" Kaito asked, his voice carrying the tone of a man who'd seen too much.
"Cooling my soul," she replied, absolutely serious. "The heat is draining my beauty."
"You say that while looking like a sloth."
"Excuse you. I'm a majestic summer spirit."
"You're literally lying in front of the fan with ice cubes down your shirt."
"...Strategic cooling."
He walked past her without another word, muttering under his breath, "Why is my life like this?"
Chiaka turned her head slightly, a smug smile on her lips. "Because the universe gave you a gift, Kaito."
He glanced back. "Is that gift you?"
"Obviously."
"I want a refund."