Marvel: Upgrading Death

[A/N: When writing Eternals in this chapter, I imagined them from the movie. I know, the movie was pretty mid. But again, we're here for the plot.]

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Odin flew with fury and soon arrived at the cave carved into the side of a mountain. He was a god with heightened senses and heard the voices immediately. The moans were akin to loud groans, curses, and feminine screams.

"UNHAND THE PHOENIX!"

Odin barged into the cave in rage and pointed his hammer. His eyes nearly fell out at the sight as the unknown man stood beside the cave wall, pinning the red-headed Phoenix against it, legs thrown up on his shoulders, her body folded like a toy. Her face flushed red, her eyes were watery, her bare breasts marred with red marks, her lower half thrashed by the man's phallus, red, swollen.

"How dare you hurt her?!"

Boom!

Odin summoned thunder and threw his hammer towards the unknown man.

"Odin! No!" Firehair shouted to stop the Norse god.

But Marshall, too busy drilling himself into that burning hot pussy, didn't hear anything and before he could feel anything, everything went dark. He was no superhuman since Fairhair wasn't. Her powers were magical, but her body was still human. The same stood true for Marshall.

What?

That was all he could think before it all went dark. And like a light switch was turned on, he found himself back in the same place, standing butt naked, but no longer hard, nor was there Firehair standing in front of him.

"W-What happened?" He confusedly turned around and finally saw Odin there, his long blonde beard fluttering in the wind, and his eyes appeared shocked wide. Not far was Firehair, back in a loose red gown.

"YOU DARE TOUCH H—"

Boom!

Odin roared and threw his thundering hammer towards Marshall once again.

"Ah!" Marshall reacted naturally and waved his arms in front of his body.

Clank!

To his absolute surprise, he grabbed Mjolnir in midair. It felt weightless and actually… easy to use.

"Impossible!" Odin gawked.

Marshall slowly digested the weird scenario, of course, still butt naked. He looked down at his body, he looked at the hammer and then remembered that flickering blackout. He knew he had just died, but with the hammer in his hand, he couldn't stop grinning.

"Hah! Hahahaha! You dumbass! Ahahaha!" Marshall laughed like an evil villain. "You killed me, didn't you, Odin? Hah! I am grateful, my friend. Jesus! I feel fucking strong!"

Odin, jaw agape, looked at Firehair in confusion. "W-What is he?"

Firehair shrugged. "I really don't know."

Clank!

By then, Marshall was playing catch with the mighty hammer that shouldn't have been in any lesser man's possession.

Seeing that, Odin felt more conflicted. The hammer was nothing special, but it weighed so much that no ordinary mortal should be able to hold it. "He didn't force you?"

Firehair scoffed. "Odin, can you imagine there being anyone strong enough to do that?"

"Then… you chose him?"

"I did."

"Why? I was courting you for so long, Phoenix."

"Your last words prove it. You don't see me as Firehair—only as Phoenix. You weren't after me, you wanted the thing inside me," she said, voice tight with the bitter truth. "But he didn't care. The moment he laid eyes on me, he wanted me anyway."

Odin awkwardly looked at the other man and sighed. He couldn't deny the fact that one of his major motivations was the Phoenix Force. "Then it seems I have erred. I have struck down a man of innocence."

Marshall heard that and greedily eyed the Asgardian god. "I'll forgive you if you give me something."

"Mjolnir cannot be gifted. It's a sacred—"

"Calm your tits, Odin. I don't want the toy. I want a skill, in fact. This rock's been my crib for a hundred million years. Population's climbing, tongues multiplying like rabbits. So, I want to cut through all that noise—speak to everyone without grinding through every damn language. Simple."

Odin understood it right away. "You desire Allspeak?"

"Bingo! That's what I want."

To Odin, a mere rejection from a woman didn't mean much. And in fact, making friends with a warrior of Marshall's caliber was a greater achievement for him. A man chosen by Phoenix.

"That is but a small favor for one who aided in the fall of a Celestial. I shall grant you the knowledge of Allspeak."

Just then, Firehair scoffed from the side. "If you two are done flirting, we should hide the Celestial's body quickly."

"Let's do that." Marshall instantly agreed, being in a great mood. How could he not after just gaining Odin's body composition? A body that was so resilient that it could fly through deep space. Sadly, that was it. All the magic Odin knew was learned, so there wasn't much else to gain. But he could lift the hammer, which was nice. But he didn't know if it was enchanted with that whole worthy curse yet.

"Wear some clothes." Firehair reminded him.

Jolted, Marshall looked down and chuckled, his pistol sitting nude.

"Hah! Don't mind me—I've been solo for millions of years. Nobody was there to care about me walking around naked. Hold on a sec."

He spoke nothing but facts. He was very happy to be able to speak with someone. As a man lacking any common sense, sense of time, and humility, there were just a few motivations in life he had. Especially now that he knew what type of world he was in.

Getting powerful, meeting people, and bedding pretty women. That was all he had to live. Once lost and without any goal, he looked forward to the future now. How high could he go in terms of power, he was interested to know. Can he bang goddesses? He wanted to know that too.

And with those ideas, he finally entered an era where he wasn't isolated.

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"Fuck! That fucking bird!"

What does a man do when he finds a beautiful woman interested in him for the first time in one hundred million years? For Marshall, the answer was to fall in love. Or perhaps it was lust. But the fact stood, he was into her, physically and spiritually.

For five hundred years he had the best time of his life with Firehair. He helped her deal with so many world-ending threats. They were perfect, tight in the bed, tight in the fight. She was everything that he missed in his life, and before long, they decided to get married.

Marshall went all out for his wedding and created an entire church by carving it inside the mountain. High ceiling, beautiful altar, and Marty was to officiate the wedding. He even hunted some fine animals and made beautiful clothes for him and her.

But when the day of the wedding arrived, and he entered the altar, he couldn't find Firehair anywhere. He waited and then waited for five whole years. His sense of time was truly fucked up. But eventually, he realized that he got stood up.

His mood soured, he rummaged through the room he had given Firehair to live in and found a note left behind. But surprisingly, it wasn't from Firehair. No, it was from the damn Phoenix inside her.

You are a fantastic creation of nature, but Firehair has a greater purpose to fulfill. I am taking over her body and bringing her into the cosmos. Be well, if you live, we shall meet again—Phoenix Force.

And hence, the crashout.

"That damn fire chicken! I'll be waiting! I will fucking strangle you and fry you and then eat you! Fuck!"

He raged for months, and his mood soured. But he had Marty with him, so he soon returned to normal. Once again a bachelor, with nobody to talk to.

Sure, there were other members of that weird Avengers team, but they were all boring. There was that Iron Fist girl, but she was bald, and he didn't feel hard seeing her.

So, the efforts to waste time resumed yet again. With a million years still left before the birth of Jesus, he had a lot of time to spend. The best he could do was travel around and see what sort of creatures lived on Earth. He had the powers to fly and bring Marty along now, so it was somewhat fun.

Also, he was still searching for that busty Gaea.

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