Memories of Anamesa

I shivered. All around me, shadows rushed, their breeze sweeping my clothes back and forth. 

"Do I stay or do I go? Do I stay or do I go….?" Eyeing the stairs I had just tripped off of, I realized I had no choice. I couldn't stay here for the rest of this life, scared of shadows and stairs.

Carefully, I stretched a foot out, placing it on the next step. I gently pressed. "Seems hard enough."

Time for another step. Sweat dripped off my forehead.

I took another very tentative step forward. The ground beneath me seemed solid enough. I paused, not trusting my instincts. Then, I shrugged; I couldn't remain this cautious.

Soon, I reached a golden archway. It pulsated, its energy otherworldly. "Heaven."

My arm stretched towards the gate, almost by instinct.

"Not yet. Trust me, you do not want to go through that gate."

I spun around, heart racing. Who was speaking? A shadow?

A figure emerged from the mist - a woman. Ethereal and composed. Her eyes held inexplicable depths within them. She was an angel; breathtaking in every way, with a slim, fit waist and stunning white wings spreading beyond her sculpted back. She radiated power. Calmness. It overwhelmed me. It calmed me. It scared me.

"Who are you?" I stammered.

The woman smiled, her face warm. "I am the Guide, tasked with assisting souls in their transition."

"Transition?"

"Yes, the transition from life to the afterlife, from one realm to another. You stand at the crossroads, Alex. This place is Anamesa – neither here nor there, a place between worlds, between lives."

I blinked for the first time. "How do you know who I am?"

The Guide's luminous eyes met mine. I felt them peer through me, into the depths of my very being. There was something uncomfortable, no, unfathomable in her gaze. A sorrow of sorts, perhaps. "You are one of the few who remember."

...that didn't answer my question.

"I wish I could give you all the answers, but I cannot. I may not."

She couldn't?

Her gesture toward the archways refocused me to her words. "You are already familiar with Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and countless others from your time on Earth. However, there are many other possibilities."

Fear and curiosity battled within me. "What are these gates?"

"Within them are other worlds," the Guide replied. "Each choice will shape your soul, mold your essence. You will live, love, suffer, learn, die. And with death, you will return here, to Anamesa, to choose once more."

A whirlwind of emotions swept through me - uncertainty, immediately followed by fear. 

But, deep, deep down, I was excited.

I had finally found my chance to escape my dreary life. The passionate child within me, who had always wanted to adventure, to explore, to love, to fight, was spreading its wings.

I would not waste my second chance; I was going to make the most of it.

"How do I choose?"

"Listen to your heart. When you touch the gate, you will see images of the world within. Just like the Reborn, the shadows you see, your soul will be able to feel each gate - to understand what life will follow."

Tsk. Cliche. And yet, as I stared at the archways, a strange sense filled me. Perhaps it was a sense of purpose. I honestly don't know.

But, there was one thing I was aware of. For the first time, I controlled my fate. 

I no longer would be forced to work to survive; I would no longer be trampled upon.

Each gate held a world, an opportunity, a story to be written.

Despite my excitement, I also had many questions: What was my future going to be like? Was I going to be stuck in the loop of dying and living forever? I needed answers.

As I took a step toward the ancient, arcane arches before me, excitement fluttered within my heart. I could hear the Guide's words echoing in my mind, urging me to embrace the unknown.

"Choose, Alex. Embrace the lives that await."

When I looked back, the guide was gone. Despite hardly speaking to her, disappointment crushed me.

And yet, somehow, I felt at peace. I could feel fear, but I felt in control. How confusing.

It was a hard feeling to describe. On Earth, I had made decisions - I had worked for the sake of others. To feed my mother. To make my friends happy. To attract girls. I had lived a hard life; an unhappy one.

Worst of all, I hadn't controlled my fate. From my job to my friendships, I had fallen prey to life. Destiny had dragged me along, bruised and bleeding all life long, keeping me in school, in the office, in an endless loop of work - far away from my dreams.

But here, when I took a step on these stairs, I had control. The weight of my foot pushed squarely on the marble stairs. And, I could feel that marble pushing me back. With every step, I was pushing the world, moving it. Causing it to rotate just a little faster. In return, it was pushing me. Propelling me forward toward a new future. One of my choosing. This was my world.

It was an oddly comforting feeling.

Questions churned in my mind – about the angel, my deaths, the memories I had retained. Pausing, I sorted through the chaos. I had no answers. Yet, that was better than my alternative – to be a mindless shadow bound for hell. Or worse yet, to trip on these cold stairs yet again. I briefly glanced down at my feet, pausing to ensure I was stable as a shiver raced through me, the pain rekindling. Beneath me, blood dripped down the stairs, staining their ivory hue a vivid red.

With a resigned shudder, I acknowledged that trusting the angel was my only option for now. I had no other choice.

Eventually, I would find answers to my questions. But not now.

And so, I stepped forward. My foot pushed the world back and propelled me forward.

Archways loomed before me, each a portal to a distinct world, a new life awaiting my choice. I walked closer, overwhelmed. My future was in my hands. Well... my feet. Huh, that sounds weird. ...I guess my future's in my hands.