Merchant Crab

Chapter 34: How Not to Train Your Drake



The crab looked at the returning goblin with high expectations, but he appeared empty-handed.

“Well? Did your traps not catch anything?”

“Sorry, boss,” Druma said. “No prey. Need more time.”

“Curses!” Balthazar started pacing back and forth. “I can’t hope to control this wild thing while she’s famished like that.”

The goblin stared at the frantic crab with both arms hung in front of his chest, unsure of how to help.

“Druma!” Balthazar suddenly said, with a snap of his pincer. “The pastries Madeleine makes for you have meat, don’t they? Go get one. Maybe that will work.”

“But, boss…” the goblin began, looking deflated. “Is Druma’s lunch.”

“Don’t be greedy. She always sends you plenty, you’ll still have enough left. Besides, do you really want to risk a drake that size getting too hungry? Look around, between Bouldy’s rock and my shell, guess who she would find the most appetizing?”

With an expression of defeat, Druma made his way to where he kept his own basket of baked goods, and returned to the crab with it in hand.

Balthazar flipped the lid open and retrieved a miniature meat pie from within. Carefully breaking it open in the middle, he exposed the ground beef filling.

“Here, girl!” He shouted at the drake. “Breakfast is ready. Come get it!”

Blue turned her gaze down towards the crab. With a thrust of her wings, she dove to the ground, landing on the trading post’s platform floor.

“Look at this, it’s some nice meat for you,” Balthazar said, wiggling the pastry in front of her, before placing it on top of a nearby crate and stepping back.

Slowly, she approached the piece of food, sniffing it with suspicion. Bumping her snout against it, she carefully took a piece into her mouth.

“That’s it. Eat it up now.”

With a whip of her neck, she spat out the meat pastry, her tongue sticking out in a show of disgust at the offered food.

“Nooo…” Druma cried in a whisper, his ears sagging down. “Lunch...”

“What was that for?!” Balthazar protested. “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to be rude about it!”

The drake threw her head up in a haughty manner, looking away from the crab.

“Well, great, so you’re hungry, but you’re picky. Now what?”

“Boss could give Blue one of his foods,” Druma suggested, still looking devastated at the loss of his miniature meat pie, despite still having a handful of them in his basket.

“Uh… I guess I could try,” the crab said, not sounding too keen on the idea.

Balthazar fetched a cookie from his stash, deciding it would be best to start small if there was a chance it would just end up being spat out on the floor, too.

“Drakes shouldn’t like these things, but let’s see…” the pastry-loving crab muttered. “Here, Blue, would you like to try this?”

She glanced at the pincer offering her a small cookie, flared her nostrils, and moved her gaze away again with a huff.

“Oh, good, that’s a relief,” he said, quickly stuffing the cookie in his own mouth. “But that still leaves me with the problem of feeding you.”

Unceremoniously beating her wings and blowing wind on Balthazar’s face, she took off again, hovering in circles above the trading post.

“Hey, where are you going now?” he yelled from below.

The drake ignored him and landed on a tall boulder by the water, back to scanning her surroundings.

“Bah, you bad-tempered animal,” the cranky crab said with a dismissive wave of his claw.

He wondered if one reason for her distaste towards the offered food was because drakes were predators, instinctively set to hunting, and without the hunt of a live prey part, feeding didn’t feel right.

But what kind of prey could he provide to her, other than the small fish he had in his pond, which he was sure at that point she would scoff at too?

As he turned away from her, Balthazar saw another unpleasant sight: a small bird had landed at the end of the bridge connecting the inner islet to the trading post, seemingly looking around for seeds or any other form of food.

“Just what I needed to ruin my morning even more!” the fed up merchant protested, heading towards the creature in order to shoo it away. “Get out of here, you—”

Balthazar stopped himself as inspiration struck him.

This was exactly what he had been looking for. He shouldn’t need to scare birds away anymore and watch them fly before he ever has a chance to catch them. This was what Blue was for, and this would be the perfect opportunity to put it to the test.

He slowly backed away from the bird, who was still pecking at the pebbles on the ground.

“Hey, Blue,” the crab shouted towards the drake, who looked at him with a hint of displeasure. “Look, breakfast right there!”

He pointed a pincer at the bird, who continued unaware of any danger to itself.

Blue turned her gaze to where Balthazar was pointing, and her eyes narrowed as she spotted the tiny ball of feathers hopping around.

She straightened her neck forward, eyes fixed on her prey, wings folded tight against her body. Her teeth bared and her chin quivering, she let out a soft chattering in anticipation, as her legs slowly began contracting, preparing to pounce.

In the blink of an eye, the drake sprung forward, her body darting through the air towards the unassuming bird without so much as a sound. As it felt a shift in the air, the songbird quickly turned its head, a tiny seed dropping from its beak as it opened from surprise. But it was too late to fly away.

Blue snapped her jaw around the place where the small bird was, and all Balthazar managed to see was a puff of feathers being blown out as the drake changed courses upwards and soared through the air, swallowing her prize in one gulp.

Balthazar stood in awe at the event that had just unfolded in front of his eyes, mouth still open, his gaze following the winged creature circling above.

“That… that was…” the dumbstruck crab tried to say. “That was awesome!”

He broke into a cheer, both pincers held high in celebration towards the drake, who looked down with visible confusion.

“After all this time,” Balthazar said, “I finally got one of them! Yes! Take that, stupid birds!”

Blue landed on the ground again, examining the crab, in an apparent attempt to make sense of his strange behavior.

“Good girl! You got the right idea. Birds are prey. If you see one, it’s snack time! Now, just need to make sure you can follow commands.”

The drake raised one brow. It was unclear whether it was because she did not know what the crab was saying, or if it was precisely because she did.

“Right, let’s start with something simple,” he said. “Can you… roll?”

The drake remained as she was.

“Uh… shoot some flames out of your mouth?”

Blue did nothing but continue to glare at the crab.

“Damn it,” Balthazar said. “I wonder if… Hey, Druma, come here again!”

The goblin came running from behind some crates. “Yes, boss?”

“I just need to borrow this for a moment.”

Balthazar took the wizard hat off the goblin’s head and approached the drake with it.

“Now, I’m going to put this on your head. Can you please not bite me?”

The young drake glanced at him and the hat with curiosity, but didn’t make any movement. Reluctantly, the crab placed the +2 Intelligence hat on her head, but it immediately fell off to the side.

[Item cannot be equipped. Incompatible body type.]

“Argh! Figures,” a frustrated Balthazar said. “It was worth a try, I guess.”

He turned back to the goblin, who was looking at his hat with watery eyes.

“Oh, calm down,” said the crab. “I just wanted to check if it would work. I wasn’t really going to take it away from you.”

Druma wiped his big eyes with the back of his wrist as he took the hat back into his hands, a large smile back on his face as he happily shoved the old thing back on his head before scampering off to his duties.

“Hmm,” Balthazar said, pensively. “Surely it must be a matter of language. That’s why you won’t follow any of my commands.”

“Hello? Can I come in?” a girl’s voice said from the entrance of the trading post.

Turning to face her, Balthazar saw Madeleine approaching from the road.

“Oh,” the crab said. “Didn’t expect you back so soon. But you’re not an unwelcome sight! I really could use a nice slice of pie to help me think.”

As he finished his sentence, he realized the baker came empty-handed, no basket in sight, or even an archer adventurer behind her to carry it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Balthazar,” she said. “I didn’t bring anything for you this time. I thought you’d still have plenty of supply left from my last batch.”

“I do, but never hurts to get more,” he muttered. “So how come you’re here this early? Did something go wrong with our plan? Do you need more money?”

“No, no, no! None of that,” she hurriedly said, waving her hands in front of herself with an apologetic expression. “I just sneaked down here before going to the market because, well… I couldn’t resist. I wanted to see how the little one was doing!”

“Right,” Balthazar said, feeling a hint of jealousy. “About the ‘little’ part you mention, you might want to see for yourself.”

He signaled for her to look behind him, and she stepped forward, around a table full of random pieces of loot that were covering her view from the large drake that was on the opposite end of the trading post, sniffing the surrounding air casually.

“Gods above!” Madeleine exclaimed. “She’s huge!”

“Yep, I know, right?” Balthazar started. “Just happened overnight. Certainly not as cute now, don’t you—”

The girl ran past him before the crab could finish his sentence, arms open towards the winged creature.

“Madeleine, be careful! She might… Oh, never mind.”

The baker hugged Blue around the neck like a little girl clutching to a stuffed toy, and in return the other stood up to meet her hug, wagging her tail against the ground and nudging her head on Madeleine’s shoulder.

Balthazar stood there, both pincers dragging on the wooden floor, an impassive expression on his face.

“Seriously?” he grumbled.

“You grew up so fast!” the girl said. “Look at you, what a beauty you are now!”

Madeleine vigorously petted the drake’s neck scales, much to the creature’s delight. Standing up next to the baker, Blue was nearly at her head level.

“Yes, very impressive in terms of looks,” the bitter crab said, “but not very obedient. Won’t do anything I say.”

“Come now, Balthazar,” the smiling girl said, “I’m sure she’s not as bad as you claim. You probably just need to work on your approach. Be less grumpy.”

“I would be less grumpy if she cooperated more!” said the exasperated crab.

“You’re not a bad girl, are you, cutie pie?” Madeleine said, turning to the drake. “Will you roll so I can scratch your belly?”

Blue got low to the ground, and then with a smooth flip rolled onto her back, exposing her underside to the girl, who eagerly began rubbing it.

“Good girl! Such a good girl!”

“I… but…” an incredulous Balthazar stuttered. “How?!”

Madeleine turned and gave him a brief shrug before returning to her petting session, while the drake swayed from side to side, her tongue hanging from the side of her mouth, enjoying the scratching.

Questioning his recent decisions, Balthazar walked around them with a scowl painted on his face, making his way to one of his pastry baskets for some solace.

Stuffing a piece of pie into his mouth, the curmudgeon crab grumbled between loud chewing while he watched the two girls having fun without him on the other side of the pond.

“Typical youths!”


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