Chapter 29: Scars Pt. 2
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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT COMING HOME?!"
I winced as my mother screamed through the phone, nearly bursting my eardrums, "Ow, my ears."
"This isn't a joke, Kenji! Do you know how worried I was? I hear the school was attacked, and then I get a message from the hospital saying you need to be held overnight for medical observation!"
I muffled a sigh, "You had every right to be concerned, but I'm okay now."
"Then why can't you come home?! " my mother screamed, her voice cracking from stress and concern.
"I can't explain, but it's for your safety, not mine," I replied lamely, knowing it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear.
"Kenji, you need to talk to me," My mother begged, her voice desperate, "You can't leave me in the dark like this."
I fell silent for a second before exhaling from my nose, "It's my quirk. Something happened when the villains attacked, and I couldn't control myself. Until I figure out what happened, I can't trust myself around you."
My reply left my mother quiet, and I could practically hear the gears turning in her head.
"Alright, Kenji," my mother replied softly. If you think this is the best choice, I'll trust your judgment."
"Thank you," I muttered in relief, "I swear I'll come home as soon as I have things under control."
"You better."
After saying my goodbyes, I hung up the call before letting out a long groan, "How the fuck am I supposed to get things under control."
I was only left with my thoughts momentarily before I heard the soft pitter-patter of padded footsteps against the tile floor.
Turning around, I didn't see anyone at first until I looked down at the humanoid mouse bear dressed in a suit vest and slack pants, "Pricipal Nezu."
The rumored smartest being on the planet smiled, "Hello, Kenji. I'm sorry that our first meeting has to be under such dour circumstances."
"Yeah, me too," I replied somewhat sarcastically and almost instantly winced hearing my tone, "Sorry, you don't deserve that. Especially after I trashed your hospital."
Nezu sighed, "You say that young man, but as Principal, it is my duty to ensure the safety of all those under my care. In that capacity, I have failed miserably."
I didn't know what to say to console the mouse, but I realized that nothing I said could have lessened his shame and guilt. "That may be the case, but I'd bet you've already implemented a few countermeasures and have a hundred more planned, so something like this can never happen again."
Nezu cracked a smile. "Indeed, I have. It's the only reason I haven't resigned from my position. There will always be weaknesses to exploit, but as long they can be addressed and improved, there is hope...a sentiment you no doubt wholeheartedly agree with."
My body stiffened for a moment at Nezu's words, and I found the mouse analyzing me with his beady black eyes.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, playing dumb while my mind raced trying to figure out how much the principal knew.
"That is the nature of your quirk, is it not?" Nezu replied with a slight smile, "I've been watching you for some time, Kenji, your entrance exam, the fight against Tenya Ida, and most recently, this League of Villians and their monstrous companion."
"And?" I asked as Nezu suddenly fell silent, leaving me high and dry.
"During each fight, you became aware of a weakness exposed by your opponent," Nezu recounted, showing just how closely he had been watching, "And each time, you managed to design a solution with your quirk in the heat of battle."
"That sums it up pretty much," I responded, still unsure of the mouse's angle.
Nezu smiled, "I can't help but wonder. Is your mind or quirk allowing you to adapt so quickly? Is there any conscious effort when you change your flux from solid to liquid, from metal to fabric?"
"What do you want from me?" I asked with a narrowed gaze as Nezu continued to probe into the nature of my quirk, one that I myself didn't fully understand.
"To see what you're fully capable of," Nezu replied, his smile disappearing, "So I'll ask again, when you use your quirk, is there any conscious effort?"
I frowned, "What difference does it make?"
"Because while plenty of quirks allow their users to bypass or break the laws of physics and reality, none of them truly comprehend the logic and implication of their actions," Nezu explained, "Endeavor doesn't need to comprehend how to generate heat without fuel to ignite the air and create fire. All he thinks is fire, and his quirk does the rest. Every time he uses his quirk, Endeavor breaks the fundamental rule of thermodynamics: energy can not be created nor destroyed. It is a constant."
My frown slipped from my face as I realized the gravity of what Nezu was insinuating and just why he was so interested in my quirk.
"So when you make your flux perfectly elastic or travel at a constant velocity, do you fully comprehend what you are doing?" Nezu asked once more, his gaze intense and piercing.
Without a moment of thought, I knew the answer instinctually. I had always known it, but it took Nezu spelling it out to understand what I had been doing unconsciously.
"When I use my quirk, it isn't automatic," I answered, my voice barely audible with a far-off look in my eyes, "I can't just think knife and create one. My quirk doesn't understand English."
"Then what does it understand?" Nezu asked intently, clearly anticipating my answer.
"Geometry, physics, chemistry, equations," I listed in quick succession, "Every time I use my quirk, I create a blueprint in my mind. Not just an image but a detailed schematic with measurements and calculations."
Nezu frowned, "How quickly does your mind process that much information?"
I paused momentarily before finding the words, "It's like stringing together a sentence. The more familiar or common it is, the less I have to think about what words to use. But, say if I wanted to write a poem, it's more abstract. I could spend hours thinking about every single word."
Nezu nodded along, beginning to understand what I was getting at, "So the more your blueprints infringe on the laws of physics, the more time it takes to create a 'schematic.'
I nodded, but that only seemed to leave Nezu with more questions, "But how can you comprehend the illogical? When you try, math and physics crumble as they start to contradict themselves."
"I can't explain it with words," I muttered, "If the calculations and formulas are my words, then accomplishing the impossible is my tone and inflection. I can say the same string of words, but the meaning can change drastically depending on how I say it. You can't logically explain why irony is funny or why speaking slower is seen as sarcastic. You either understand it or you don't."
"And you're able to understand the impossible and use it at your discretion," Nezu muttered, concluding my explanation with a solemn nod before looking back up at me, "Tell me, Kenji, why did you become a hero?"
The sudden change in subject caught me off guard, but I had long ago answered the question myself, "Because life is precious and should never be taken for granted."
Nezu hummed in agreement, "A noble answer, but if life should never be taken for granted, isn't it hypocritical of you to risk your own to be a hero?"
I couldn't help but chuckle, but there wasn't any humor in my voice, "You know, for most of my life, I was a quirkless deadbeat. I wasn't motivated by anything, didn't apply myself in school, and was a burden to my mother. A single parent who worked herself to the bone to provide for both of us. I took everything I had for granted until a villain threw my train like a football. But it wasn't self-preservation that awakened my quirk. It was when I realized that people around me would die and just how many people would be impacted by their deaths. That's why I want to be a hero...it's the only thing that gives my life any purpose."
Nezu fell silent at my declaration, his concern clear, "Is that why you won't go home?"
My hands balled into fists as my jaw clenched, "You talked to Recovery Girl. I lost control the moment I laid eyes on that monster. I cut off its tail and ate it, for god's sake!...if there's even the slightest chance something will trigger me and make me lose control. I can't trust myself around anyone."
"Then what do you plan to do?" Nezu asked softly.
"Well, I have one idea," I muttered before uncurling my fist and staring at my palm, "My quirk is far more than it seems at first glance. It's growing and evolving and practically has a mind of its own."
"Is that something to be concerned about?" Nezu asked, only for me to shrug, "I don't know, but I plan to find out."