Chapter 20: What Will You Do If You Lose To Yourself?
Raigetsu caught his fist.
Salazar blinked. His shoulders were trembling, but he swung with the other hand. His opponent didn't even flinch.
"You've already lost."
"No…" Salazar dropped his shaking gaze.
He wanted to cry. To scream. But his strength was gone.
His breath rasped like someone drowning. Not a drop of mana left in him.
He looked down at his palm. It was trembling.
"Not this… I haven't lost. Not to you—I won't lose until I collapse—"
Raigetsu shoved him by the shoulder. Salazar fell like a broken toy.
"Shut your damn mouth while you still can. You're hopeless, idiot. You actually thought it was smart to go beyond your limits for a stupid match? I'm ashamed I even fought someone as pathetic as you. You're a disgrace to your family..."
Raigetsu radiated nothing but pity. It was uncomfortable for him to look at the pitiful wreck of a fighter he once called a friend.
He left the ring. No applause followed.
Everyone's attention was on Salazar's mangled state, as medics rushed in.
"Heal tier-1 on the limbs! Tier-2 on the internal damage!"
"On it!"
The Student Council declared the match over. Salazar had lost.
When the crowd had fully dispersed, he sat alone in the locker room. His body had lost a significant amount of muscle mass from the overexertion. He was never the bulkiest before—but now, it was almost painful to look at him.
No one dared disturb him.
Salazar sat in silence, wrapped in the haze of his thoughts. What had he done wrong? How could he have lost?
He had a powerful ability in his arsenal—one that could reflect nearly all techniques.
In his hopelessness, he comforted himself with the idea that Raigetsu had cheated.
He thought about everything, everything—except admitting his own failure.
"Yeah… He must've cheated," he muttered, gnawing at his nails in panic. "I'll demand the Student Council review the match!... Damn it… This can't be the end. I was supposed to win… I HAD TO—"
"Talking to yourself?" I entered the locker room suddenly. "Sad sight. You look even more pathetic than usual."
Salazar slowly turned to me, his face a mix of shock and dread. The last person he wanted to see in that moment—was me.
He looked away, clenching his fists as he lowered his head.
"The match was great. Real spectacle. Hey, don't beat yourself up too much over it. You'll get another shot. One day, you'll pound his face into the floor. You hear me—"
"What the hell are you doing here?" he muttered. "You left before the match ended. Why'd you come back?"
I scratched my head.
"Well, I figured you could use some company. No use being miserable alone."
"Out of all people, the last one I'd want to sulk with is you…"
"Stop whining. It's not my fault you lost."
Salazar's eyes twitched.
"…Why did you leave? Was it disgusting to watch me fail?"
"Disgusting? Not at all. You're acting like I was obligated to watch your fight to the end."
He paused. Why did it matter to him so much? Maybe it was because he wanted to prove something—to me—that everything he said was true. That even Raigetsu couldn't beat him.
"I left," I leaned against the wall, "because I couldn't stand seeing someone give it their all… and still lose."
A brief silence.
"You didn't notice? Raigetsu wasn't even going full power against you. He didn't need to use even half of his ten ultimate techniques to win. That wasn't even a real match—"
"You came back just to sing Raigetsu's praises in front of me?!" he snapped. "Why the hell should I have to listen to this now?"
"Because now is the time," I cut him off. "Time for you to think. What went wrong. Idiot, don't you get it yet? You're one of the smartest people I know—and the only reason you lost is your own damn pride."
Salazar went quiet. He didn't want to hear it—but part of him did. Even if he already knew.
"Your recklessness cost you the match! Goddamn it, you had everything you needed to win. But in battle, people give in to emotion—and that's how they lose. Bastards… There's no place for emotion where logic should rule. And where logic fails—sanity must prevail."
Salazar's hands slowly moved toward his ears. He wanted to shut me out, to prove I was wrong.
But if he did, he'd be lying to himself.
"Why the hell am I even explaining this to you? Weren't you the one who bragged about dedicating your whole life to sparring? Wasn't it you who claimed you were unbeatable here? Then why the hell did you let your emotions control you?!"
"I KNOW, DAMN YOU!" he screamed with his whole body.
His voice echoed through the Hanging Gardens.
"I know…" he whispered, covering his face. "I really thought I could beat him. I was so sure. I was stupid."
I lowered my brow. Damn. I lost my temper. Not very heroic of an ancient legend to yell at a kid.
"I felt… like I just dropped my guard," he muttered. "The moment I realized I was losing control, it was already too late. Damn it, I thought I had overcome that…"
"And this Raigetsu—who is he to you? An old rival? Lifelong opponent?"
"…We grew up together. He was like an older brother to me. But he changed. Started chasing power. Our families ended up in bitter hatred because of him."
"I see. Must suck to be stuck around him. But still."
I stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder, then looked out into the distance. Salazar stared at me in surprise.
"It's not over yet. You were close. As close as it gets. Chin up. Honestly, I think you're the only one in this academy who stands a real chance against him."
He was still bitter. But my words lit something in his eyes. A new way to see what had happened.
Something in his soul finally settled. Though it was already too late—he'd never return to his former strength without starting from scratch.
"So don't keep your head down, got it? Damn it, you're a real pain, you know that?"
The next morning, he showed up to class like nothing had happened.
It was Destruction Element.
Asagiri, the instructor, slammed his cane against the board with a bang.
"Overstrain. When mana runs out, a mage can continue using Destruction Element indefinitely. But the cost won't be mana — it'll be your life force."
On the board, he'd drawn the silhouette of a human, veins glowing with thousands of red energy lines. It was meant to show how Destruction coursed through the user's entire body.
"Now listen carefully. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you must rely on Destruction—know this: the energy you lose will NEVER return."
Salazar listened, each word pressing deeper.
"You'll lose it forever. While your physical form may return through training, the time it'll take is… uncertain. It could take years. Yesterday's duel was a textbook case of when not to go beyond your limit."
Destruction feeds on the user's strength once their mana is depleted…
Asagiri raised his voice:
"This is why reckless use of Destruction is not for everyone.
Especially not for those foolish enough to risk everything for meaningless glory!"