My Cheat System Thinks I'm a Playboy?!

When the system hit me with its latest alert, I thought it was finally giving me a break.

[Mission: Attend a Girls' Sleepover (Objective: Blend In)] Reward: +1 Stealth, +10 Harem Points, Hidden Outfit Box Penalty: Instant Teleportation to an Open Field Wearing a Magical Girl Outfit]

Blend in? At a sleepover? With girls?

"This has lawsuit written all over it," I muttered, standing awkwardly at Luna's front door. She had invited Cynthia, Nari, and… oh no. Even Akira was there, waving enthusiastically in a pink onesie.

"You made it!" Luna beamed, pulling me inside before I could escape.

"I'm not even sure this is legal."

System: [Host's Consent Waived. The mission is in progress.]

Perfect.

The living room had been transformed into a pillow fort empire. Blankets draped from every possible surface. Snacks covered the coffee table. And in the center—doom itself: a stack of labeled Truth or Dare cards.

"I assume you boys—er, people—have never played Sleepover Roulette?" Akira asked, holding up a glittery spinner with a skull and bunny ears.

"I'm gonna die here."

Cynthia tossed me a pillow. "Only emotionally."

We sat in a circle. Luna spun first.

"Truth!" she declared.

"What's your secret crush's name?" Nari grinned.

Luna blinked. Then looked directly at me.

System: [Warning: Emotional Development Incoming. Heart Rate +10%]

"Next turn!" I yelped.

My spin. The spinner clacked slowly before landing on…

"Dare," Akira read. "I dare Ethan to go into the Forbidden Closet of Chaos."

Cynthia's head snapped toward me. "Don't."

"Too late!" Akira grinned.

"Wait, what's in there?"

System: **[New Sub-Mission: Enter the Forbidden Closet and Retrieve the 'Item of Infinite Embarrassment'] Reward: +2 Mystery, ???]

Inside was darkness. Then, something soft. I pulled.

The closet spat out a puff of feathers—and me, wearing a skimpy magical girl outfit with LED sparkles and a talking wand that screamed "KAWAII JUSTICE BEAM!" every time I moved.

Everyone stared.

Then Luna burst out laughing.

Akira clapped. "It fits you perfectly!"

"System," I growled. "I hate you."

System: [Your suffering sustains me.]

The night spiraled further into chaos. Truths revealed. Dares escalated. Nari dared Cynthia to sing karaoke. She did—with perfect pitch and a look that could kill.

Luna dared me to let her draw cat whiskers on my face.

Akira dared me to marry his plush rabbit.

I lost track of time. Of shame. Of reality.

At some point I woke up between Cynthia and Luna, both cuddling like heat-seeking missiles. My face flushed harder than a malfunctioning kettle.

System: [Congratulations! Mission Complete. New Skill Unlocked: "Harem Buffer" – Reduces jealousy effects by 10%] Bonus Reward: Magical Girl Outfit Added to Inventory]

"Kill me now."