My Company Is Black

#002

“Mr. Hwi-kyung.”

“No.”

“I haven’t even opened my mouth yet.”

“It’s not work hours yet, but Executive Director, this makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just… like you, Hwi-kyung.”

“Thank you for thinking well of me.”

“If you’re free, shall we have a meal together? Thursday lunch?”

Jung Hwi-kyung thought this iteration was cursed.

It took 12 regressions and 13 iterations of one year for Hwi-kyung to get employed at BK International, a subsidiary of the Baekgyeong Group, and become an assistant manager. The hardships Jung Hwi-kyung experienced during that time were at the level of an epic job-hunting saga that couldn’t be heard without tears.

Suboptimal condition: It’s a family-owned company.

Suboptimal condition: The executive director is a parachute appointment.

Suboptimal condition: The parachute-appointed executive director shows personal interest in an assistant manager.

Suboptimal condition: A workplace superior flirts with an employee before work hours.

Would you like to regress?

Automatic regression occurs when suboptimal conditions accumulate. (Cannot be refused)

Do non-black companies even exist in Korea?

Hwi-kyung felt like crying a little as he saw the “Suboptimal condition” window covering the executive director’s handsome face. It was a decent company he had found with difficulty. BK International was a company that Hwi-kyung had discovered after 12 regressions, one that was “at least not a black company.”

The story goes back to the beginning.

While walking and checking part-time job listings, Hwi-kyung bumped into an old lady who claimed she “had been called Gwaneum Bodhisattva quite often.” Being kind to her because she reminded him of his grandmother was the root of the problem. More precisely, wishing “to get a job at a good company that’s not a black company” was the beginning of all misfortunes.

After that, Hwi-kyung got a job at a company that provided four major insurances without a probation period and even gave interview allowances, but they didn’t pay overtime while claiming to have a comprehensive wage system and frequently required weekend work.

“Hwi-kyung, you’re not finding it difficult, are you?”

“No, sir.”

“Right. We have plenty of people who want to work even if it’s not you, Hwi-kyung. Did you see the resumes that came in this time? There’s no place that treats people as well as we do.”

“…”

“So, let’s do things properly, okay? If you had done it neatly from the start, you wouldn’t need to work overtime.”

He could somehow endure the heavy workload. He could honestly tolerate the overtime and weekend work. But it was hard to bear a superior who exploited people without pay and then shifted responsibility by saying, “If you had done well from the start, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Damn… After approving a report just because I changed the order of the format… What the hell does he mean by “neatly”? Hwi-kyung’s first superior was an expert at tormenting new employees. He was the first-class bastard Hwi-kyung had ever experienced.

When the [Suboptimal condition: 137 instances of overtime without additional pay] window first appeared before Hwi-kyung’s eyes, he pressed Y on the [Would you like to regress?] window. It was his first regression.

Jung Hwi-kyung, who returned to just after his military discharge, obtained an English qualification certificate through painstaking efforts. He blocked the friend who had first introduced him to the black company internship and desperately searched only for mid-sized and large companies.

It was positive up to the point where he succeeded in getting a job at a mid-sized distribution company with a good salary. However, as the industry was what it was, the second company was full of old-fashioned people.

“Well, Jung seems to lack strength at night? All height, no might.”

“Ah, you never know. Those quiet types are often, you know, amazing in bed.”

Suboptimal condition: Workplace sexual harassment occurs repeatedly.

“It’s hard to have a social life if you refuse drinks from your elders.”

“You’re not going to the third round? Jung, are you more of a wallflower than you look? I was going to take you to a good room salon.”

Suboptimal conditions exceeded. Automatic regression in 5 seconds. 5, 4, 3……

With 5 seconds left before forced regression, Jung Hwi-kyung threw a punch at the face of the superior who kept looking at him with lecherous eyes. It was the guy who would occasionally touch his thighs, saying they looked sturdy.

Fortunately, the regression system worked properly, and so Hwi-kyung began to struggle to find his third workplace.

Since he had already experienced taking the English qualification exam, Hwi-kyung immediately took the English test and started studying coding. It was because he judged that only developers could survive in this information age.

That judgment wasn’t wrong, and despite starting to learn coding late, Hwi-kyung was able to get hired as a backend developer for the online site of a mid-sized company. Although it was clearly classified as an IT company, this enterprise, which had developers even slower to update than Hwi-kyung who had just started learning development, was a hotbed of office politics.

If you stood in the wrong line, team leaders would be replaced every quarter. It was fine when you were at the bottom, but after about a year, Hwi-kyung could see that this place was truly a battlefield without swords. He had wondered why developers couldn’t code and only did politics, but it turned out that those who were good at coding had already died off, and only those good at politics survived.

Suboptimal condition: School ties and line culture are rampant.

Even though Korea was a country that ran on blood ties and school connections, this was too much even by those standards. Hwi-kyung tried hard to endure, but unfortunately, the line he had unknowingly joined was cut off, and he received a forced resignation recommendation from his third workplace.

Getting fired like this? Damn… How did I even get into this company… I didn’t do anything wrong, why am I being thrown out because they’re fighting among themselves…

Jung Hwi-kyung, due to stress, ended up pressing Y to the question [Would you like to regress?].

Fourth time. By this point, Hwi-kyung had developed a stubborn determination. He had returned to just after his military discharge again. Since he had already studied English and coding before the regression, this time he started studying accounting. Right! I majored in Business Administration!

The large corporation he joined with English, coding, and accounting certifications in hand had a very smooth start. The salary was high, and even his school seemed proud of Hwi-kyung getting a job at a large corporation, processing his employment record at lightning speed unlike the previous three times.

There were no superiors who sexually harassed, and overtime was paid. There was some rivalry, but it wasn’t as rampant with office politics as the fourth company he had worked for.

However, the ambush was elsewhere… A colleague in the same team embezzled 6.5 billion won.

Suboptimal condition: There is a colleague who embezzles billions of won.

Suboptimal condition: The embezzling employee requests to turn a blind eye to the embezzlement.

In the end, Jung Hwi-kyung reported this embezzler to the company, voluntarily resigned, and pressed Y to [Would you like to regress?]. Those thieving bastards should all receive divine punishment.

Fifth time. Jung Hwi-kyung, filled with determination, decided to learn Chinese this time. I’ll go to Shanghai and get a job. Gritting his teeth, Hwi-kyung prepared English and Chinese, coding and accounting certificates, and succeeded in getting a job not at a Korean company, but at a foreign company.

However, just because it was a foreign company didn’t mean the welfare was always good.

Suboptimal condition: There are colleagues who discriminate based on race.

Suboptimal condition: Salary negotiations are based on race, not position.

“Koreans are Chinese in a broad sense, right? Korea is a vassal state of China, after all.”

“Hwi-keng? Hui-keng?”

“…Just call me Jung.”

“Oh, we can’t do that. I’m quite interested in Korean culture. I like K-pop.”

“North? or South?”

Humans shouldn’t work for companies.

“South, damn it! South! If I were North Korean, would I be here?”

That was the thought Hwi-kyung had after throwing coffee at a superior who said it was cheaper to use Chinese people than Koreans who speak Chinese, at his fifth company.

And so, Jung Hwi-kyung reached his sixth iteration. By this point, he was out of his mind. The problem wasn’t the workplace. The problem was that no matter what Hwi-kyung did after getting a job, his grandmother would die of stomach cancer.

Jung Hwi-kyung now had to witness his grandmother’s death for the sixth time.

Having lost all energy, Hwi-kyung postponed getting a job and spent his last moments with his grandmother by taking out a loan. Of all the regressions Hwi-kyung remembered, this sixth one seemed to be the best. His mind was always anxious, but his grandmother, who knew nothing, smiled saying she was happy to see her grandson’s face for a long time.

Job search failed.

Automatic regression in 5 seconds. 5, 4, 3……

However, the curse on Hwi-kyung was cruel. After his grandmother passed away, he lived like a ruined man, barely paying off interest while doing part-time work at a logistics center, when he was forcibly regressed.

What Jung Hwi-kyung learned through this sixth regression was that if you don’t become an employed subscriber by the age of 30, you are forcibly regressed. He had heard that if you’re a virgin until 30, you become a wizard, but he had never heard that if you can’t get a job, you regress.

This was clearly a government conspiracy to increase the number of employed subscribers. Hwi-kyung wanted to scream. Both office workers and craftsmen are workers, and freelancers are lancers too! Part-time jobs are also occupations, you crazy bastards!

Seventh time. Hwi-kyung was left with nothing but evil and stubbornness.

He got all the certifications he could get, and learned not only English and Chinese but Russian as well. Now no one could stop Jung Hwi-kyung.

Hwi-kyung got a job as a salesperson at a large corporation and made big money from performance bonuses from the first year. It was a bit physically demanding, but it was rewarding. He used that money to pamper his grandmother and even held a luxurious funeral.

However, salespeople are beings dropped in the middle of black companies. In the end, despite all that hardship, Jung Hwi-kyung couldn’t last 5 years and was forcibly regressed.

Thus, after choosing to regress himself or being forcibly regressed a total of 12 times, the twelfth and final time was crucial. This was entirely Hwi-kyung’s own fault, not the company’s.

In his twelfth company, Jung Hwi-kyung finally! succeeds in working until his late 30s without being regressed. He not only got promoted early but also became a young task force team leader, gained the trust of company executives, and even reached the level of lecturing on “How to efficiently develop oneself” at new employee training sessions.

It was truly satisfying. Although the suboptimal condition window popped up occasionally, this ‘BK International’ could be called an excellent company compared to the previous ones. There were no embezzling employees, no one committing sexual harassment, no superiors obsessed with politics.

However, if there are no psychos, you become the psycho yourself.

Jung Hwi-kyung’s mind had gone slightly off due to 12 experiences with black companies and forced regressions. It’s natural for a person to go crazy after working at so many places. When changing jobs, at least your position or salary would increase, but Jung Hwi-kyung kept getting more certifications, going through internship periods again… It was just madness.

As a result, Jung Hwi-kyung had become the very embodiment of a young old-fashioned person.

“Since we finished our project well, shall we go hiking on the weekend?”

“Excuse me?”

“Everyone, try to make some time. Unity, that’s what’s important. Let’s all participate without exception.”

Suboptimal condition: The regression subject himself has become a young old-fashioned person.

Suboptimal conditions exceeded. Automatic regression in 5 seconds. 5, 4, 3……

And so, Jung Hwi-kyung… regressed for the thirteenth time.