My D Rank Skill is Actually SSS-Rank

Chapter 9: The Shadow Broker's Demands and the Case of the Refined Rubbish

Alaric stood in the grimy alleyway, the tarnished copper coin now gleaming with a faint, almost imperceptible golden light in his palm. The laughter and operatic wails of the festival still echoed faintly from the Grand Hall, a distant reminder of the public humiliation he'd just narrowly escaped. Or, rather, postponed.

D-Rank copper coin. What could this possibly become? A perfectly balanced throwing star? A miniature, self-replicating gold coin? Or perhaps... a 'Coin of Infinite Perverted Wishes'? Now that would be an SSS-tier exploit. Imagine the possibilities! A coin that grants wishes for... optimal viewing angles. Or self-adjusting clothing. The research potential alone is staggering.

He chuckled, a low, cynical sound. His journey had just taken a very interesting, very dangerous, and very Alaric-esque turn. No more polishing counters for Agnes. No more running from singing mages. This was the real game now. An S-Rank quest from a '??? Rank' NPC. This was the kind of content he lived for.

He slipped the coin into his pocket, feeling the faint warmth it still emitted. He needed to find a safe place, somewhere he could think, and more importantly, somewhere he could experiment with this new 'worthless artifact' concept without accidentally turning a city block into a giant, perfectly refined, sentient jelly.

He wandered through the less-traveled streets of Silverhaven, past crumbling tenements and overflowing refuse piles. The city was a stark contrast to the gleaming Guild Hall, a testament to the kingdom's 'suboptimal' resource allocation. So much D-Rank material. It's almost overwhelming. Like a giant loot cave, but with more rats and less XP.

He found a secluded, abandoned warehouse near the city's forgotten docks. The air here smelled of stale fish, damp wood, and opportunity. It was perfect. Dusty, dilapidated, and full of D-Rank junk.

System Notification: Location: Abandoned Warehouse. Environment: Highly Contaminated (D-Rank). Materials: Various (F-D Rank).

"Home sweet home," Alaric muttered, pushing open a creaking door. The transparent slime, which had somehow managed to keep up with him, jiggled happily as it oozed inside. You're enjoying this, aren't you? You little SSS-tier menace. Just wait until I refine your 'happiness' into 'existential dread'.

Inside, the warehouse was a treasure trove of forgotten refuse. Broken crates, torn fishing nets, rusty anchors, and piles of what looked like discarded, moldy bread. Alaric's eyes gleamed. This is better than any dungeon. This is a crafting paradise.

He pulled out the tarnished copper coin the Shadow Broker had given him. First, let's see what this does. He focused his skill, channeling the familiar warmth into the coin. The tarnish vanished, the copper gleamed, and then, impossibly, it began to ripple. It didn't just purify; it seemed to absorb ambient mana, growing slightly heavier, denser.

System Notification: [Basic Material Refinement] activated. Material: Tarnished Copper Coin (D-Rank). Result: Perfected 'Coin of Infinite Prosperity' (SSS-Tier Artifact). Condition: Generates 1 Gold Coin per day (Passive), Attracts Minor Fortuitous Events, Minor Aura of 'Unearned Wealth'.

Alaric stared. "Generates gold? Passively? Attracts minor fortuitous events? 'Unearned Wealth'?" He burst out laughing, a genuine, unforced laugh that felt alien on his cynical face. "This is amazing! No more grinding mobs for copper! No more haggling with merchants! I'm basically a walking ATM! And 'fortuitous events'? Does that mean I'll trip over a bag of gold every now and then? This is the ultimate AFK farming tool!"

His perverted mind immediately supplied: 'Fortuitous events' could also mean accidentally stumbling upon a public bathhouse during cleaning hours. Or finding a discarded uniform that's just a little too... revealing after refinement. The possibilities for 'fortuitous' pervy events are endless!

He pocketed the coin, a new spring in his step. Now, about those three "worthless" artifacts for the Shadow Broker. He needed to find items that were truly, unequivocally worthless. Something so mundane, so utterly useless, that only his skill could turn it into something valuable.

He spotted a pile of discarded fishing nets, tangled and rotting. F-Rank, probably. Perfect. He pulled out a particularly mangled section.

System Notification: Item Detected: [Torn Fishing Net (F-Rank Material)]. Condition: Rotted, Tangled, Useless.

"Useless, huh? We'll see about that," Alaric muttered, focusing his skill. The rotten threads shimmered, rewove themselves, not just mending, but transforming into an impossibly fine, yet incredibly strong, mesh. It felt like woven moonlight.

System Notification: [Basic Material Refinement] activated. Material: Torn Fishing Net (F-Rank). Result: Perfected 'Net of Unseen Capture' (SSS-Tier Artifact). Condition: Indestructible, Invisible to Non-Magical Sight, Expands to Any Size (up to 1km), Binds Target Immovably (Non-Harmful), Self-Retracting.

Alaric's eyes widened. "Invisible? Binds immovably? Non-harmful? Self-retracting?" He held up the net. It was indeed invisible, yet he could feel its ethereal presence. This isn't just a net; it's a perfect capture tool! I could catch anything! Monsters, bandits, annoying heroes... or, you know, a particularly elusive noblewoman's undergarments. For research. To analyze material properties. He quickly folded the invisible net, tucking it away. One down, two to go.

Next, he found a pile of discarded, broken ceramic shards. Remnants of old pots or plates. F-Rank. Excellent. He picked up a particularly jagged piece.

System Notification: Item Detected: [Broken Ceramic Shard (F-Rank Material)]. Condition: Fragmented, Useless, Sharp Edges.

"Let's make this less useless," Alaric hummed, channeling his skill. The shard vibrated, its edges smoothing, its surface gaining an impossible translucence. It didn't just reform; it became a perfectly curved, impossibly thin lens.

System Notification: [Basic Material Refinement] activated. Material: Broken Ceramic Shard (F-Rank). Result: Perfected 'Lens of Universal Perception' (SSS-Tier Artifact). Condition: Grants X-Ray Vision (Variable Depth), Magnifies up to 1000x, Identifies Material Composition, Minor Aura of 'Unsettling Insight'.

Alaric nearly dropped the lens. "X-Ray Vision?! Magnifies 1000x?! Identifies material composition?! 'Unsettling Insight'?!" His perverted brain immediately went into overdrive, overriding all tactical thought. X-Ray Vision! This is it! The ultimate pervert tool! I can see through walls! Through clothes! Through everything! For optimal... observation! For 'research' into the 'material properties' of various fabrics! This is better than any harem! This is pure, unadulterated, SSS-tier perversion!

He quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, suppressing a manic giggle. No, Alaric, control yourself! Don't let the System know your true intentions! Keep it professional! He quickly tucked the lens away, his heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and pure, unadulterated, perverted glee. Two down. This Shadow Broker quest is turning out to be incredibly profitable. And educational.

Finally, he needed one more item. He rummaged through the debris, his eyes scanning for something truly pathetic. His gaze fell upon a small, dried-up puddle of what looked like old, spilled ale. It was just a brownish stain on the dusty floor.

System Notification: Item Detected: [Dried Ale Stain (F-Rank Material)]. Condition: Immobile, Odorless, Utterly Useless.

"Oh, you are truly the bottom of the barrel," Alaric whispered, a glint in his eye. "Perfect." He knelt, placing his hand on the stain. He focused his skill, channeling more mana than usual, pushing his D-Rank ability to its absolute limit. He wanted to see what kind of SSS-tier absurdity he could pull from a dried-up puddle.

The stain began to shimmer, not drying further, but somehow condensing. It pulled itself together, rising from the floor, transforming into a small, perfectly clear, shimmering droplet of liquid. It smelled faintly of... inspiration.

System Notification: [Basic Material Refinement] activated. Material: Dried Ale Stain (F-Rank). Result: Perfected 'Droplet of Absolute Persuasion' (SSS-Tier Artifact). Condition: When Consumed, Compels Target to Agree with the User (for 10 minutes), Overrides Logical Thought, Causes Minor Euphoria. Side Effect: Temporary Loss of Balance (Causes Stumbling).

Alaric stared at the shimmering droplet. "Compels target to agree? Overrides logical thought? Causes minor euphoria? And... stumbling?" He burst out laughing again, a slightly unhinged cackle. "This is even better than the charisma elixir! This is mind control! For 10 minutes! I can make anyone agree to anything! I could convince Agnes to give me a raise! Convince Sir Grady to wear a dress! Convince Master Elara to... optimize her robes for maximum transparency! For tactical reasons, of course!"

He quickly scooped the droplet into a small, empty vial he found. Three SSS-tier artifacts. All from F-Rank trash. This is too easy. The Shadow Broker is going to be thrilled. And I'm going to be rich. And possibly, very, very powerful.

He heard footsteps approaching the warehouse entrance. Someone was coming. He quickly hid the vials and the net, affecting a casual pose.

A figure entered. It wasn't the Shadow Broker. It was Master Elara, her robes slightly askew, her face still flushed, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion. The faint sounds of the festival's ongoing, chaotic confessions could still be heard in the distance.

"Alaric!" Master Elara snapped, her voice sharp. "I knew it! You're hiding something! I followed the anomalous mana signature from the Guild Hall! It led me here! What have you been doing in this... this disgusting place?!"

Alaric sighed. Oh, great. The grumpy mage. Again. Can't a guy just exploit the fundamental laws of reality in peace? He forced a smile. "Just a bit of basic material refinement, Master Elara. You know, Guild Asset Optimization. I found some... suboptimal materials. Thought I'd clean them up." He gestured vaguely at the now-pristine sections of the warehouse floor where he'd been working.

Master Elara's eyes swept over the surprisingly clean patches, then landed on a perfectly clean, gleaming section of a wooden beam. Her Mana Sense flared. Her eyes widened. "This... this wood! It's impossibly pure! And this floor... it's like polished marble! You did this with a D-Rank skill?!"

"Just optimizing the fundamentals," Alaric said, shrugging. "You wouldn't believe the impurities in common wood." He then added, with a subtle glance at her still-flushed face, "Though, I must say, Master Elara, you seem to have a rather... vibrant aura today. Perhaps you should consider some 'material refinement' for optimal emotional expression."

Master Elara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You insolent little pervert! Are you suggesting I need my emotions... refined?!"

Alaric just winked. "Purely professional observation. For peak performance. You know, for a mage, emotional stability is key. Wouldn't want any unnecessary mana fluctuations during a high-tier spell, would we?"

Before she could respond, the transparent slime, which had been hiding behind Alaric, chose that moment to jiggle out into the open, emitting a series of perfectly pitched giggles. It then slowly, deliberately, bounced directly towards Master Elara, bumping against her leg.

Master Elara looked down at the slime, then back at Alaric. Her face was a storm of conflicting emotions: fury, confusion, and a hint of something that looked suspiciously like... amusement. "You... you brought that thing here?! Is it your accomplice in perverted optimization?!"

Alaric groaned. I am so doomed.