My Favorite Isekai Adventure (Konosuba)

Chapter 14: Never Casually Touch an Adolescent Boy's Hand

Just as the ritual concluded, Satou Kazuma happened to walk in from the door, carrying food.

"Oh, is it over already?"

He didn't seem surprised that RyuZU had been repaired. He walked in nonchalantly, closed the door, placed the food on the table, and asked, "I bought some yakisoba bread. Want some?"

"Yes! I'm starving!" Aqua cheered.

Kobayashi asked curiously, "Kazuma-kun, you don't seem surprised at all?"

"Should I be?" Kazuma shrugged nonchalantly. "I figured you'd fix her anyway, Kobayashi-senpai. When I thought about it, it wasn't that surprising."

"You really have a lot of faith in me."

Feeling a little shy at this baseless trust, Kobayashi shook his head and said, "But unfortunately, the main credit for fixing her goes to Aqua."

"Really?!"

"It's true."

Satou Kazuma and Aqua had only just arrived in this world, and they hadn't spent much time together. Aqua had not yet displayed her powerful talents outside of her main goddess duties, so it was natural that he didn't know.

"Master Kobayashi, who is this man who inspires such physiological discomfort at first sight?"

The words coming from the cute automaton were truly venomous.

Satou Kazuma was momentarily speechless.

Kobayashi introduced him to RyuZU. "His name is Satou Kazuma. He is a companion I trust very much, and also a very reliable junior."

"More trustworthy and reliable than me?" RyuZU's gaze towards Kazuma held a trace of an unreadable meaning.

Kobayashi smiled slightly. "Of course!... That was only the case before you arrived. It's not the case anymore."

"Oh my, it seems he has fallen out of favor. But it's only logical. Compared to a worthless, lowest-class human bedbug, I, a top-class Y-series automaton, am far more trustworthy."

RyuZU puffed out her chest with the proud air of a victor, though there wasn't much of a rise to speak of.

"I'm a high school boy with raging hormones! My type is older women!"

After complaining, Kazuma couldn't help but turn his head to vent to Kobayashi. "Am I competing with her for your affection? What's with this 'declaring herself the main wife' routine? And her tongue is way too sharp! She's delicate and beautiful, but her personality is awful!"

"Sorry, you'll have to put up with that for a bit."

Kobayashi patted his shoulder and defended RyuZU. "She's probably like this because of her programming. Actually, aside from being a bit sharp-tongued, RyuZU is very nice, gentle, and kind."

"Is that really so?"

Kazuma also knew that RyuZU was a mechanical automaton. Coupled with the fact that he was, at his core, a veteran otaku, he naturally understood the whole "automaton personality program moe-point setting" trope from movies, novels, and anime.

Thinking of it that way, he felt a sense of relief.

"Well, if you say so, Kobayashi-senpai."

Kazuma set aside his prejudice and tried his best to put on a friendly smile. He extended his right hand to RyuZU. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss RyuZU. My name is Satou Kazuma. Like Kobayashi-senpai, I am an otherworldly hero."

This was the only title he could bring out. After all, he hadn't made a name for himself yet, didn't have a powerful cheat ability, and didn't want to lose face in front of the person who had just belittled him. He had no choice but to use the title of "otherworldly hero" to puff himself up.

However, RyuZU did not shake his hand.

"Pardon my rudeness, but I simply cannot bring myself to touch him."

RyuZU apologized to Kobayashi, while simultaneously directing her venomous tongue at Kazuma with disgust. "According to a scan from my eyes, I have detected a large amount of residual bacteria on your hand. I hope you will wash it thoroughly before approaching me again."

Kobayashi remembered something he had once heard.

Never casually shake hands with an adolescent boy, because you never know how much youthful regret is left on it.

He subconsciously distanced himself from him.

"Kazuma-kun, you..."

"W-wait! No! It's not what you think! Kobayashi-senpai! You've misunderstood! You've really misunderstood!!!"

Satou Kazuma held up his right hand and loudly defended himself. But his previous bad impression made his defense completely unconvincing; it would only make things look worse.

Satou Kazuma turned ashen.

He never expected that RyuZU could completely defeat him with just a few words, without even giving him a chance to defend himself.

Hiss, could she be doing this on purpose?

I said Kazuma was a trustworthy and reliable junior, so she got jealous and used her sharp tongue to provoke him...

He looked suspiciously at the maid beside him, but RyuZU's expression was normal, without any abnormality. Kobayashi shook his head, casting the suspicion from his mind.

Probably not. RyuZU wouldn't do that.

Kobayashi chose to trust her.

After a short while, Kazuma recovered from his ashen state. Having been subjected to all sorts of verbal abuse, his ability to self-regulate was very strong.

He looked at the serene RyuZU and asked, "Kobayashi-senpai, has she acknowledged you as her master?"

"Mmm, that's right."

Kobayashi nodded. It seemed the feeling still lingered in his body. As Kazuma said it, his mind subconsciously savored the pleasant sensation from before.

"Hmm... that's strange."

"What is it, Kazuma-kun?"

"According to the usual tropes, shouldn't she take the person who repaired her as her master? You said it yourself, senpai, that Aqua was the one who led the repair effort. Why didn't she choose her? Ah, of course, I don't mean that you're not fit to be her master, Kobayashi-senpai."

This was a good question.

Kobayashi was also a little puzzled. Although he was the one who performed the operation, the one giving the commands was Aqua. He was just a tool person following instructions.

So why did she choose him as her master?

"Could you explain it to me, RyuZU?"

"Because it was you, Master Kobayashi, who repaired me with your own hands. According to my programming, I chose you."

In other words, as long as one did it themselves, regardless of whether they actually knew how to do the repairs, as long as it got fixed... that's what it meant?

"Also, that lady has a dazed and foolish look about her. She is not suitable to be my master."

RyuZU's sharp tongue was late, but it arrived.

The three of them turned their gazes to Aqua, who was holding two yakisoba breads and feasting heartily, her mouth stuffed full of food, looking exactly like a dazed and foolish squirrel.

"Well, it's Aqua, after all..."

"She's an idiot goddess, after all..."

Kobayashi and Kazuma sighed and facepalmed, because what RyuZU said was indeed true.

Aqua heard someone call her name and quickly looked up.

"What, what?"

"It's nothing, you can keep eating."

"Okay!"

She cheered and went back to wolfing down her food.

Thank goodness she didn't choose her.

The idiot goddess was already unreliable and often caused trouble. If RyuZU became her attendant, she would absolutely turn Axel upside down. Besides, Aqua was a Goddess of Water who often sprayed water for no reason. How could she possibly be a good match for a mechanical automaton made of countless gears? If one day Aqua's excessive water-spraying caused RyuZU's gears to oxidize and rust, it would be a truly laughable and cry-worthy situation.

Kobayashi suddenly thought of something. "By the way, where are Darkness and Megumin?"

"They should be at the base, right?"

Although it was their day off, everyone couldn't stay idle, especially Megumin. After the party got a common base, she became very enthusiastic about tidying up the room, even saying something incredibly heart-wrenching like, "This house is even better than my own home."

"The four of us can't stay at the inn anyway. Let's go over too. It's a good chance to introduce them to our new companion."

"I've wanted my own room for a long time."

Satou Kazuma's desire was obvious to everyone.

After that, they packed their luggage simply, and the four of them headed straight for their new home, the converted warehouse.

(End of Chapter)