My Instant Death Doomed Firefly to a Lifetime of Regret

Herta Space Station

"March?"

Dan Heng had walked over a dozen steps before realizing March 7th's footsteps were absent. Turning back, he found the pink-haired girl staring intently at a bookshelf, her face scrunched in contemplation.

While intellectual curiosity was commendable—especially for March—the scene would have been more idyllic had Antimatter Legion soldiers not been gambling over a game of Divine Jade Tiles at the neighboring table.

"Hey, who even writes this stuff?" March blinked her cerulean eyes, clutching a novel titled Reborn as a Succubus March 7th: The Almighty Conductor Pom-Pom Falls for Me. She shoved the cover toward Dan Heng. "This is totally about me, right? Right? Right?!"

Dan Heng massaged his temples, half-tempted to drag her away by her signature ahoge. Sometimes he envied her ability to remain unfazed by... everything. "Who'd call you a succubus? This is slander!"

"Humph! I'll have you know I'm a rising star!" March grumbled as Dan Heng pulled her along, though secretly preening at the "celebrity treatment."

"Don't you think the Express is cursed?" March paused mid-rant, her gaze locking onto a gray-haired girl lying unconscious nearby—and a strange boy leaning in for a kiss.

"Whoa! Sleeping Beauty alert!"

"..." Dan Heng deadpanned at her fairy tale logic, telepathically urging: Just shoot already, March.

Archers had range advantage. By the time he drew his spear, they'd probably reach the "and their lips parted, breathless" scene.

March hesitated, bowstring taut. What if they were star-crossed lovers using the Legion as romantic ambiance? Even Destruction would weep at such devotion!

Slap!

A crisp smack echoed. March cheered, "Problem solved!"

The gray-haired girl awoke to a puckered-lipped stranger lunging at her. Instinct took over—a right hook, then a left for symmetry.

[Host contact confirmed with main storyline character. Life Simulator System initializing...]

An Ming stared at the holographic text projected onto the girl—presumably Stelle—with zen-like calm. Those slaps were worth it.

Ninety-nine days. Ninety-nine days without a system, surviving on space station odd jobs, one misstep away from becoming Peppy's full-time poop-scooper. But now? His protagonist era had arrived!

He might not punch Nanook or dropkick the Divine Fist yet, but ascension was inevitable!

As for his isekai journey? Textbook cliché:

Gacha addiction → 10-pull with nine 5-stars → celebratory street dance → isekai truck → bon voyage, mortal coil.

Formerly a civil engineering student, An Ming once encountered a sidewalk fortune-teller who rasped, "Young man, your aura reeks of Qiqi pulls and construction-site destinies. A grand truck-shaped fortune awaits!" He'd scoffed... until the truck-shaped "fortune" introduced him to Herta's domain.

Initially system-less, An Ming tried every protagonist trope:

Midnight Rituals: Chanting "System, activate!" in abandoned labs. Result: Becoming space station's #1 ghost story.

White Knighting: Telling Asta, "Your high-speed Herta dolls need maintenance. I shall bless them with concrete work!"

Asta: "???"

Musical Plagiarism: Bombing Sing If You Dare! Season 2—Even Aha Would Cringe with "Snow Eyes" (a butchering of Xue Huā Piāo Piāo).

Herta's review: "Delete your existence."

Asta's review: "The Simulated Universe isn't ready for this... art."

Peppy's review: [Barks translated] "My ears are filing a harassment lawsuit."

Finally, An Ming embraced his true calling: fanfiction.

Armed with a potato-quality terminal, he penned Rejecting Herta's Confession, Marrying Asta to Retire Early—a smash hit until Herta herself DMCA'd it with a single-word review: "GARBAGE."

Asta privately suggested, "The title Rejecting Herta, Regretting Ten Lifetimes might've survived longer."

An Ming refused to bow to tyranny! He'd never write such bootlicking drivel!

...Which explains why Rejecting Herta's Confession, Regretting Ten Amber Eras trended space-wide the next day. Everyone pretended not to read it, yet mysteriously, it auto-downloaded into every work terminal.