My Instant Death Doomed Firefly to a Lifetime of Regret

Herta Space Station

An Ming faced a dilemma.

A sleeping "Cinder-Stelle" lay before him. What's the proper protocol here?

[Event: Slumbering Cinderella]

A. "I'm no prince." Walk away.

B. Replace the Herta puppet with a human clothes rack (Gain Curio: Stelle Brand Hanger — clothes perpetually smell like trash).

C. "This is too good to be real!" Slap her cheeks to test reality (Trigger boss fight: Angry Trailblazer).

D. "Cyber honey-trap? Doesn't matter—free kiss!" (???).

"Wake up! Your mom joined the Legion!" An Ming tried verbal tactics first. No response. Stelle remained comatose.

Desperate times...

Slap!

Slap-slap-slap!

A three-hit combo painted artificial blush on Stelle's cheeks. Still no luck.

"CPR it is," An Ming sighed, grateful this wasn't Caelus.

As Stelle's eyes fluttered open, she saw a stranger puckering up. Instinct took over—a slap echoed, followed by her scrambling backward, face crimson.

"Oww?! I was saving your life!" An Ming protested, but the world froze.

March 7th's popcorn-munching grin, Dan Heng's deadpan stare, and Stelle's tomato-red face (courtesy of his palm) locked in time.

[Host contact confirmed with main storyline character. Life Simulator System fully initialized.]

Finally! An Ming mentally high-fived himself. No tutorial needed—he'd trained for this in 1,003 isekai webnovels.

"System, what's your deal? Immortality? Harem mode? Give me something juicy."

The system projected:

[Life Simulator System]

In neon Comic Sans.

"Can I reroll?"

[Initializing first simulation. Select 3 traits:]

[Gold] Wordweaver

When emotions peak, your words rewrite reality. Synergy with intent amplifies effects. Command the cosmos.

[White] Genshin Archon Reincarnate (AR8)

Reborn as a Teyvat veteran. Master plunge attacks! (Note: Kneeless Honkai characters can't jump.)

[Green] Protagonist-tier 'Nice Guy'

Zero skills, but NPCs insist: "But he's so kind!"

[Red] Aeon's Gamble

Roll the cosmic dice. 50% godhood, 50% becoming Peppy's chew toy.

[Purple] Eternity's Curse

Immortality + one (1) guaranteed tragic love story. Warning: Ships sink harder than the Luofu.

[Blue] Tunnel Vision

Hyperfocus grants 200% efficiency but -100% social skills.

An Ming snorted. "Easy picks: Wordweaver, Aeon's Gamble, Tunnel Vision."

The "Genshin" trait was useless here—Jing Yuan doing dragonstrikes? Please. "Nice Guy" reeked of dead-end harem tropes. As for immortality? "Nope. Women = wordcount killers."

[Traits selected: Wordweaver, Tunnel Vision, Aeon's Ga—ERROR.]

The screen glitched violently.

[Compensatory trait assigned: Eternity's Curse.]

An Ming's soul crumpled. "You forced the tragedy flag?!"

[Simulation commencing. All narratives fictional. Probably.]