My Students Regret It After I Retired

63 – Even So, I Cannot Forgive.

After Leos’ words, Bellin’s memory went dark.

The fragments of memory that had been clear just moments ago were now fading from his vision. Leos paid it no mind, and simply kept walking forward.

He walked and walked, and time flowed again, moving Leos to a few months before his trial. There, before him, people were dying at Bellin’s hands.

Bellin, who had killed countless people alongside the Shadow Syndicate. He followed in her footsteps.

Every time Bellin killed someone, Keltazar would hand over the funds for her sibling’s treatment. Bellin’s sibling, Lusein’s, life was being extended in that way. Time flowed on like that.

“Keltazar… if I do well this time, you’ll really give me the elixir, right?”

“Yes, you just have to deal with that Leos brat properly.”

“What if I can’t… is there no other way?”

“What’s with you? Have you grown fond of him or something?”

Keltazar began laughing maniacally. Bellin simply remained silent, head bowed to the ground.

“Bellin, are you being serious? You, who haven’t even taken revenge on me for killing your father? You’re feeling pity for a mere Gate Management Headquarters Captain?”

“…It’s just… just… my heart feels a bit uneasy.”

“Your training has been insufficient. You’ve been in hellish training for so long, and you’re still like this.”

Keltazar gestured, and a shadow operative approached. Keltazar spoke to his subordinate,

“Go to Rsein’s hospital, Belin’s sister, and cut off her arms and legs.”

“Understood.”

Instantly, Belin fell to her knees, groveling.

“P-please, don’t…I’m sorry, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you say.”

Keltazar leaned in, whispering,

“Belin, this time, it’s not just about dragging him down, but truly reshaping your psychology. Listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

Keltazar pressed his finger hard onto Belin’s forehead, adding,

“From now on, you are betraying Leos solely for your own gain. And you must not feel any remorse, any guilt for that action. Everything you say, think, and express in any way must be based on what I’ve told you.”

“…”

“If I sense even a hint of you feeling sorry for him or that you’re harboring any other thoughts, I will cut off all your sister’s limbs.”

“H-how am I supposed to do that?”

“Enjoy it. Watch him crumble and don’t feel an ounce of guilt, enjoy it. Truly treat him as a tool for your own desires. Speak, act, think, feel, express everything from that perspective. Deceive even yourself. Take pleasure in making him a cripple.”

Keltazar slapped Belin’s cheek, whispering,

“That is the task you must accomplish this time. Leos’s downfall, and genuinely rejoice in his ruin, without any guilt. That is who you must become, that is the persona you must adopt.”

“…”

“Act, feel, speak, think, and express yourself as I have told you. Even when talking to anyone. As if it were the absolute truth.”

“I understand… I’ll do as you say.”

“I’ll be watching, Belin.”

Time churned again, and as ordered by Keltazar, Bellin framed Leos as a molester. Her plan worked, and thanks to the full support of the Shadow Order, Leos’s world began to crumble in stages. His supporters, his social connections, even his job.

‘…’

And then came Leos’s trial day. Bellin stared blankly at the judge’s gavel.

-BANG!

-BANG!

-BANG!

The wooden gavel struck something three times, and everything was over.

– The defendant, despite having committed a heinous crime, denied it and failed to present any evidence of his innocence. His method of pressuring his student, taking advantage of his powerful position, is vile. Therefore, the defendant is sentenced to three years in prison.

After Leos’s sentence was confirmed, he began to shout.

– Why… why should I bring proof that I’m not the culprit? Logically, shouldn’t the person accusing me of being a culprit provide proof that I am? I’m innocent. I’m innocent, but how do I prove that! How!

But the judge cut off Leos’s outburst.

– I deem further discussion impossible. I hereby sentence the defendant to three years in prison and conclude this trial.

With the judge’s words, the trial was completely over. Leos’s guilt was confirmed, and Bellin’s task was successfully completed.

‘…’

Bellin looked at Leos’s face from across the room. The face of the man who once cherished her so much, yet the face of the man she now wanted to kill more than anyone, stirred a strange feeling within her. Or more accurately, it felt like tears were about to burst out.

In this hellish world, Leos was one of the few who had been good to her without any condition.

For a moment, she’d thought, perhaps this man could be trusted, perhaps if I told him everything about my situation, he would actually help me.

But all of it was over.

There was no going back now. Bellin had abandoned Leos in order to save her sister, in order to get the elixir for her. So, she decided to stop with all this wishy-washy crap.

‘Yes, hate me instead. Hate me like you want to kill me, no, hate me like you *do* want to kill me.’

Belyn laughed, staring at the devastated Leo.

A look of utter joy, a look that said she was happy to break him, a bright, unrestrained laugh. Only then did Leo’s face completely crumble.

It felt like someone was stabbing her heart with needles.

At the same time, Keltazar’s command echoed in her mind.

– If I sense even a hint of pity for him, or if I think you’re harboring any other thoughts, I’ll sever every limb of your brother. Even if a report comes in, your brother will die in horrific agony.

She had saved her brother by obeying the man who killed her father, so what betrayal couldn’t she commit? What act couldn’t she do?

Left alone in the world, she would sell her own life for the sake of her brother.

And so, she truly decided to think that way.

Just as Keltazar had said, she was simply using Leo. Seeing him as a tool. Betraying the man only for her own selfish desires.

She began to paint her mind that way.

She smiled again at Leo and even masking her own emotions, she began a convincing act. That it wasn’t something she was forced to do, but something she simply desired.

She’d rather be hated. If she was hated utterly and they became a relationship that could never be reached again, then perhaps this lingering attachment would disappear.

Belyn took a deep breath as she walked out of the courtroom, then contacted Distans.

“I had it done, but…is this really okay? Leo was a major factor in destroying the gates. It’s kind of weird for me to say this after throwing him down, but if monsters pour out of the gate again, it’ll be a massive problem.”

“Don’t worry. It’s been three years since the gates closed. Research has also shown that monsters will no longer emerge.”

“Well… I’ll trust you then. Send the goods quickly. You know it’s urgent. I need them right away.”

“Of course. I’ll send three elixirs, adding one extra vial than we originally agreed on.”

“Yes, thank you.”

She spoke with Keltazar without any expression. As if nothing had happened before. As if it was something she had simply wanted to do.

She deceived those around her, and she deceived herself.

I push back the guilt that surges in my chest. I’ve grown used to discarding such feelings, ever since I started suppressing my rage towards my father’s killer.

And so, time flowed, on and on. But still, Leos’ voice remained vivid in her mind.

[Why do I always end up killing the mutant monsters alone?]

[Why… why are you so foolish? I don’t understand. You could die too, Commander.]

[Because it feels better that way.]

[…?]

[Rather than watch the others die, rather than lose another precious person. It feels better this way. That’s all.]

[Am I… am I included as a precious person too?]

[Of course, Bellin. All of you are precious to me.]

It was a first. Someone taking the risk for her.

It was also a first. Someone telling her she was precious, beyond measure.

For someone not of her blood to offer such kindness, without reason, was something so foreign to her.

Foolishly selfless, Leos. Bellin brushed his voice aside, smiling as she walked. Tears streamed down her face while her mouth stretched into a laugh, a ridiculous sight, yet she smiled with all her might.

She walked on, feeling the weight of a broken relationship that would never return, deep in her bones. She walked on, leaving behind a person who could’ve been more precious than family, a person who could’ve taken her father’s place.

She kept walking, having thrown away the person who might’ve been her last ally.

“Bellin”

Leos asked, seeing the tears on her face.

“You’re the one who ruined my life, so why are *you* crying?”

“…”

Bellin just walked on. There was no way that the Bellin of the past could see the Leos of the present.

“Bellin! Answer me! Bellin!”

“…”

“Shit… It’s because of the situation? You’re using your powers to put on this melodramatic show? My mind hasn’t changed one bit. Keltazar and you are both the same trash. Your very existence is harmful. For everyone’s sake, you both need to die.”

“…”

Blood flowed freely from Leos’s clenched fist.

“Later…later, please kill me.”

“…?”

Leos stared at Bellin with vacant eyes. Bellin, who couldn’t possibly see or hear his words.

She murmured into the empty air.

“Chienti, Rokuro, Parettia, Tesikenas, and Leos-nim…”

Leos knew their names. They were the names of the people Bellin had killed.

“As long as my younger sibling’s life is guaranteed, I’ll pay for all my sins then…”

“…”

“Until then…until then, can you please bear with me? Either way. I can never escape this place, you know? I’ll always be here. I have no choice but to be here… If only my sibling’s life can be saved…you can…you can kill me then.”

Suddenly, one of the Dark Shadow members called out to Bellin from behind.

“Bellin, why did you come all the way here, ignoring the order to return?”

Bellin instantly wiped away her tears, turned her head, and said with a smile.

“The plan went so perfectly according to my ideas that I was just savoring the afterglow. It was so fun watching those b*stards, nothing more than tools of the Empire, struggle! The pleasure I felt crushing them! I’ll relish the afterglow a little longer, so why don’t you head back first?”

“Hahaha! That’s a splendid mindset. That’s how a member of the Imperial Dark Shadow should be. I’ll make sure to report it to Keltazar-nim. Bellin, that you seem to have purged all the useless thoughts that were in your mind.”

“Thank you.”

She laughed again, just like before.

*

“H-huuh…huuhhh…”

Belen writhed in agony, a sword plunged into her abdomen. Keltazar whispered to her,

“Lucky you. You were stabbed by Leos’ Chainsword, but it seems you’ve avoided the vital points.”

“…”

“Belen, you have to live. That light you showed a moment ago, it must have been your power activating, right?”

“I-I don’t know… I don’t know…”

“I’m certain. You just unlocked your power. Whether it’s strength or senses, like your father, or any other power, it doesn’t matter. From now on, you’ll be a core asset of the Dark Shadows. There are only a handful of individuals within our ranks who have awakened their power. You are far more valuable now than you ever were. You’ll be with us forever…until you die. I can already foresee how much you can do for the Empire.”

As Keltazar gestured, reinforcements from behind began to form a protective formation around Belen. Watching them, Leos swiped his hand through the air with a hollow look.

A surge of rage.

His head throbbed.

His mind was flooded with chaotic thoughts. But, everything came down to one thing.

He simply, couldn’t forgive them.

“You betrayed me to protect those you held dear, and because of that, I lost everyone I cherished. Innocents had to die by your hand. If you want any justification, then pay the price. That’s only fair. No, at least, you should lose everything like I have. If you can still forgive me after that, then maybe I’ll acknowledge you. You won’t be alive then, though.”

[51 Mana Bombs are loaded onto the Spireal. Deploy all of them?]

“Drop them.”

As Leos’ order fell, dozens of mana bombs began to rain from the sky.