My Upgrades are Invincible. Rewrite

A series of loud thumping noises rang out as the Jack Bird tried to ram its way out of its containment but at the sight, I just chuckled as although the Jack Bird was stupidly fast, it was weak and fragile when it couldn't just merge back into the dungeon's walls to avoid higher leveled adventure's.

"Got your overly valuable chicken ass," I said in a singsong voice as I experimentally picked up the trap house, and realizing it was still around the same weight I put it back down. And then pushed down on the top to compress it down to a smaller size so that eventually it would fit into my jacket pocket.

Tina then spoke wryly. "Well, that's something. Do you plan on sharing this event with Lady Hephaestus?" She questioned and I blinked at the thought and then shrugged.

"Maybe after I tame the Jack Bird, and get some eggs stored up I can leave the responsibility to her," I said as I thought about the issue in more detail. Basically, the dungeon would only spawn a single Jack Bird a day and if no one killed the Jack Bird the previous day, that would still mean no new Jack Bird spawn so there could only be a single Jack Bird on the floor at most.

So at best, I could only get one every single day if the dungeon itself didn't fuck us over, and there was also the fact that the first floor was worthless to us beyond the Jack Bird itself so I couldn't really justify standing around here all the time.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I looked over to Tina and said wryly. "Anyway, let's get going." But as I said so, the loud thunking noises of the tide of goblins and kobolds trying to still beat through the thick wooden barrier rang out kinda drowning out my words and making me frown before I smiled.

"Hey, Tina wanna see a war crime?" I asked with an evil smile as she looked at me in confusion I took out some more scrap wood and rubber to make a small pump and then at the end of the pump I made a wire hanger that held an alcohol-soaked bit of rope, and within the pump, at the end of a small reservoir, I made by fusing some sand, sawdust, and oil for lantern's to make a thin napalm gel to go into the pump.

"Alright Tina, you hold this and I will pump it for you," I said encouragingly as I stood behind Tina as I helped move the tank filled with napalm onto her back while she held the long pole/tube that had a lit flame on the end.

My fusion skill wasn't that great with technology honestly. But a high-powered water gun wasn't anything special technology-wise. So while Tina stuck the hose through the hole in the wall that the Jack Bird climbed into our dead-end through. I began pumping and building up pressure within the tank so as Tina pulled the lever to release the pressure. A hiss of spraying thick sticky mist was violently shot out of the tube and when it collided with the open flame.

Screams of goblins and kobolds rang out as dozens of them were burnt by the flames that covered their flesh due to how the napalm was a sticky gel instead of a simple liquid that would quickly burn off and evaporate.

Ah... Using a homemade flamethrower to burn goblins and kobolds to death, the Anarchist's cookbook didn't fail me even though I got put on a watch list for downloading it. "Jake, do you wish to capture a goblin or kobold to practice taming?" Tina suggested and I nodded.

So after the goblins and kobolds moved away or were burned alive by our improvised napalm implement, I switched back to my Leviathan Axe as the axe was perfect for chopping through monsters like goblins and kobolds without issue. My only gripe about the axe was how there were no ice monsters or materials I could get my hands on to make it match the original in the new God of War games.

I moved the slightly burnt wooden wall back into my fusion inventory and then I beheld our actions as the smell of burning flesh hit my nose... And it was fine, I cooked pigs over a fire so I didn't give a damn, about these monsters we just stepped over the corpses, Tina would stab the squirmers with her spear. And when we got to the less burnt ones that could fight back I just chopped them in half with my large axe.

If a base human could with training and a proper blade could cut all the way through a pig and its spine, organs, and other bones. I an adventurer more than halfway through level 1 could even more easily do the same. The ease with which Tina and I could slaughter even a dozen goblins and kobolds was just further proof that our time was better spent in the deep floors as I knew even with our Excellia enhancing spears, killing these trash mobs wasn't going to help us grow nor even be worth much of anything monetary wise at this point.

We quickly made our way through the first floor of the dungeon and once we got to the surface we agreed going straight home was the best choice. But as we left the dungeon and exited the tower of Babel that was built over the dungeon as its seal, I realized there were a lot of ladies standing guard outside the dungeon weirdly.

Not that ladies guardian the Dungeon was weird. But typically Zeus and Ganesha shared the responsibility of making sure no monsters got out of the dungeon or people didn't sneak mega-sized bombs into the dungeon to try their luck at fighting the juggernaut. Most importantly stopping gods and goddesses from running into the dungeon after they feel their members being slaughtered within the meat grinder that was the dungeon without cheats.

Either way, Zeus had zero female members. And Ganesha's ladies were almost all Amazon's but most of these ladies weren't Amazon's at all, nor were they in any way weak or poor with the way they held themselves, and their gear was beautifully crafted which was unlike Ganesha Familia member's gear... Due to the god constantly bankrupting his Familia to host grand events and do charities or improvements to Orario itself.

"Those are Hera Familia members?" Tina said in confusion as she herself noticed the odd sight and she continued. "Why are they here? They normally are in charge of guarding the ladies' bathhouse and the divine bathhouse for goddesses?" Tina shuddered as she whispered.

"Jake, what if Zeus members somehow became in charge of watching the bathhouses!?" She whispered loudly in fear and I couldn't help a small giggle escaping me as I saw a couple of Hera Familia members that were higher level or had beastkin ears twitching and going pale as they picked up Tina's words.

But then those same members looked at us and as their eyes landed on us I froze as a wolf beastkin shouted. "Hold on, I got a couple of questions for you two!" She called out and I blinked as the wolf strode over towards me confidently.

"May I help you?" I asked genially as I didn't really have anything against Hera Familia members with the only bad thing I heard about them being how they would explode men's balls when they caught them peeping on them in the baths... Beyond that, only the ravings of jealous women who hated on them for being strong, beautiful, highly independent, and proud of being in the Hera Familia itself.

The wolf beastkin was fucking tall, I realized. Clad in something only slightly more conservative than the normal Amazon outfit in a brown leather-like bikini with beads and teeth within it for decoration she had a kilt that went down to her right knee while on the other side, it was hitched up to only her thigh. She had the same size and proportions as fucking Barghest from FGO and looked quite similar with golden hair and two blue sapphire eyes that looked down towards me from her height advantage of being literally more than seven feet tall...

Before I could react, I was picked up. My face smushed into overly-sized boobs and then I heard Tina yell out. "Let me go! Only Jake can carry me like a sack of groceries!"

'Oh oh, I am being press-ganged again.' I thought blankly as I heard the seemingly overjoyed wolf beastkin call out. "Hey Eris, I got the blond human male with a pallum supporter! It's totally him right?!" She called out excitedly and I could hear her thick fluffy tail from behind her cutting through the air like a high-powered fan as she seemingly sought her friend's validation like a dog bringing home a rabbit she hunted down.