My Valkyrie

Trigger warning: Mention of Eating Disorders

No new Draugr attacks occurred in the following few weeks. Quiet tranquillity surrounded the two girls as they navigated their daily lives. So, what did Val and Maya do during that time? 

They spent time together, as much as they could. 

Because of the recent attacks, Val stayed by Maya's side as much as possible. She accompanied her to university, joined on grocery runs, and occasionally followed Maya to the bathroom. 

The latter was where Maya drew the line. With a firm shove, she pushed Val back out the door. "I enjoy your company, Val," she said with a pointed look, "but the bathroom is sacred territory."

In the evenings, the two often strolled around the lake together. And while Maya would take a break on a nearby bench, watching Val as she did her laps. She observed her intently, paying close attention whenever she ran by. However, worry gnawed on Maya when Val didn't return. Maya searched frantically and found her collapsed on the muddy ground, struggling through a heavy asthma attack. 

Val's deteriorating lung capacity was a growing concern, and Maya couldn't stop thinking of an answer for the problem.

While rummaging through her drawer one day, Maya stumbled upon the perfect solution. Her old gym membership card—a relic of a long-abandoned New Year's resolution. She promptly upgraded it, ensuring it included a rehabilitation program with a personalised workout regime, knowing it could aid her recovery.

Maya hesitated with the wrapped gift card in hand, pressing it nervously to her lips before finally gathering the courage to offer it to Val.

Since then, Val's health improved steadily. And so did their amount of casual touches. An unconscious hand on an arm, a brush against a cheek, or even a momentary squeeze on the thigh. 

Each touch lasted just a moment too long, leaving both flustered and retreating awkwardly. Maya had lost count of how many times her cheeks burned from the subtle yet electric moments.

And yet, they had yet to share a kiss. 

Neither could bring themselves to admit just how much they enjoyed those fleeting touches. They would accidentally stay too close to one another, gaze into the eyes of the other, but never jump to go for the kiss. 

For any outsider, their emotions were as clear as day, but lacked the courage. 

Regardless, Maya would not change those past few weeks of happiness for anything else. Living with Val gave her a much needed distraction from how stressful the past few months and years of school and life were. 

"Someone seems happy," remarked Austin, raising an eyebrow at how giddy Maya whipped with her legs.

"I am!" Maya responded with unrestrained enthusiasm, flailing with her arms serving to deepen Austin's irritation.

"...could you not? I'm walking right next to you." 

"Never!" Maya replied as she and Austin exited the lecture. She was pumped with so much energy, she almost tripped over the stairs. Austin pulled her back for the third time this morning. "I'm just happy! You'll never guess what happened this morning!" 

"You finally slept together?" 

Maya sputtered, tripped, and held onto the railing to keep herself from falling. "What!? No, we didn't! Why would you say that!?" 

"Please." Austin rolled his eyes and leaned against the railing opposite of Maya. "You practically overheat whenever you talk about her. Your face is red a lot these days. I swear, I won't mop the floor when you wet your pants from all that excitement—OWW!" 

Maya kicked him against the shin, hard.

"Would you stop kicking me already!?" Austin complained, jumping up and down on one foot. 

"What did I say about crass comments?" 

"Oh please, I am not even interested in you, you know that– OWW!" 

Maya punched him against the shoulder, harder than before. 

"What was that for!?" 

"Pain for inappropriate behaviour."

Austin hesitated. "...are you done?" 

Pause. 

Maya punched him one last time. 

"Third time's the charm." 

"Whatever!" grumbled Austin, rubbing his arm. "Geez, that hurts! Can we please go to the cafeteria before it gets swarmed, or you punch my arm off!?"

"Ah, sorry," said Maya. "Not today." 

"Why? Are you on another diet?" Austin squinted at her. "I've noticed your face looks rounder. You're developing a double chin." 

"I am what!?" Maya panicked, pulling out her phone to check her face. "Where is it? Where is it!?" 

Austin laughed. "HA! You fell for it!" he jumped out of the way before Maya could hit him again. "Sorry, I was kidding. You don't have one, though I noticed you're talking a lot about that woman's food. Be careful with your disorder–" 

"Shut!" Maya clapped her hand over his mouth, shushing him up. "Don't talk about it in public." 

Austin narrowed his eyes. Maya nervously glanced from one student to the other while covering his mouth. He bit lightly into her palm so she would remove it. 

"OW!" Maya squeaked, rubbing her hand. "You bit me!?" 

"Don't tell me you didn't tell her yet?" he asked. When Maya looked away, he knew he was right. "Girl, you two are living together. She should know." 

"I- I'm not comfortable telling her about it," Maya confessed, anxiously rubbing her knuckles and inching away from Austin. "There's no easy way to say it."

How do I tell her I have an eating disorder?

Maya's thoughts churned as she avoided Austin's gaze. There was far more to her eating habits than she liked to admit.

Ever since she was a child, Maya had an unhealthy relationship with food. She liked to eat and snack, finding comfort in that. But that came with a price. She was always slightly overweight, which made her feel out of place, especially how bad she was at sports.

She would grow out of it eventually. Her parents always told her.

But I didn't. Maya frowned at the thought. 

Her self-consciousness about her own body was at a constant low, always looming in the background. And it only got worse when she developed a Binge-Eating Disorder and became overweight. And the bullying only worsened her condition.

Diets after diets dictated her life, but nothing worked. They only made her tired and lethargic throughout the day—or in the worst cases, stressed her out during her exam periods, leading to her least favourite thing—burnout. 

Which subsequently led to her gaining even more weight rather than losing any. The growth spourt during puberty eventually balanced things out somewhat. 

She regulated her diet and eventually lost weight but Maya was prone to rebounds. Her episodes remained, and at worst, returned at least once every other week.

During those episodes she would eat through her entire snack cabinet, or a large family pizza in one setting—leaving her sickeningly full, ashamed, embarrassed, and, worst of all, feeling ugly and unattractive.

Maya wasn't overweight anymore—at least, not as much as she used to be—but the mental scars and stretch marks remained, etched into her poor self-image.

Glancing down, Maya's fingers unconsciously pinched at the soft folds of her belly and the curve of her thighs. Her expression darkened as her thoughts spiralled. What would Val think of her when she saw what was hidden beneath the clothes? Would she find her body unappealing? Chubby? 

So far, Maya had managed to hide her insecurities from Val, but the nagging thought lingered. Had she gained weight from overindulging? She couldn't deny how much she enjoyed Val's cooking or how happy it made Val to prepare meals for her.

The fear gnawed at her, twisting her stomach into knots.

"She's out of my league anyway." Maya balled her fists at what she just said. "I enjoy being with her, and that's all I can ask. There's no way someone like her will like someone like me anyway, right?" 

Austin ran a hand down his face, peering at Maya through his fingers. He was at a loss for words. He knew about her eating disorder and childhood, and the way she looked at herself—as if no one would appreciate her.

Maya's beauty was undeniable—everyone knew that except Maya herself.

Deep, ebony skin radiated with effortless elegance, while her afro, a crown of regal curls, floated and defied gravity itself, turning heads wherever she went. Striking blue eyes shimmered like the North Sea, vivid against her rich complexion, and a magnetic personality drew people in, brightening their lives when they met her.

The striped long-sleeved shirt and jeans she wore framed her soft, curvy figure in ways that Austin could never hope to describe. To him, she embodied confidence and warmth, even if Maya disagreed and denounced her appearance.

If Austin were interested in women, he would have been unable to look away from her.

Anger bubbled inside him for how little Maya could appreciate her innate beauty. 

Anybody would be lucky to have someone like her and she should value herself more. Austin's grip on his face tightened, and veins bulged on his fingers. The whites of his scleras darkened as his jaw clenched. I swear, if this Valkyrie ever breaks her heart, I'll crush her.

‧. .✦ʚ♡ɞ✦. .‧

"Vaaaaal, I'm hooooome!" Maya giddily entered her apartment and kicked off her shoes, flinging them across the corridor. She placed her bag on a nearby chair and went through the broken door of the bathroom to wash her hands. 

She practically skipped through the rooms, humming a cheery tune. It had been a long time since Maya last looked forward to getting home and having homemade cooking that wasn't hers. Except for the Draugr attack—the month since she first found Val was pure bliss.

Not even her university projects and papers, which piled up on her desktop like a little Mount Everest, could pull her down.

Afro first, Maya popped her head into the living room. "Val, are you here?" 

No one there. 

"Maybe the kitchen?".

But no signs of the Valkyrie either. Maya couldn't hear a single sound in her apartment—except for the long drawn-out pattering of her bathroom sink.

A nervous drop of sweat rolled down Maya's cheek. "Maybe she went jogging, and she's not home yet?" She checked her watch. "4 pm… Guess I'll work on my paper until she comes back." 

Setting up the kettle, Maya poured herself a cup of tea and opted for a light biscuit to assuage her appetite until Val returned. Caffeine worked up her hunger. Gotta cut back on it anyway. 

Her fingers typed away fast on her keyboard, flashing from one page to the next. The constant clacking of her keyboard accompanied her as she reviewed the notes in her pad. English, Dutch, a bit of German and other Germanic or Frankish languages and sentences littered her notes. 

Linguistics ran in their family.

Her mom and grandpa loved to tell Maya stories about her famous great-grandmother. A foreigner and black woman from French and Haitian descent, who came to New-York in the early 1920 to work as a professor.

Not that Maya ever met her, but apparently she had the same talent for languages as her ancestor did, though mostly for ancient and cryptic languages.

Maya's studies focused on the connections between old languages and their contemporary and modern counterparts. She specifically had a knack for Germanic languages and did a year abroad in Germany. 

However, her visit wasn't as great as she imagined it to be. After a talk with her pen pal from Sweden, she switched focuses on Scandinavian Studies later on.

Though, unlike Austin, who was an expert in Norse Mythology, Maya barely knew anything about the culture or history. All she knew were random and obscure details he shared with her. 

Then she remembered something Val said to her a few weeks ago.

'Dúllan mín.' 

Rubbing a finger over her lips, Maya wondered about its meaning. Some words still confused her, and after a quick look up at the local search engine, Maya was even more confused. 

Her head steamed and covered her face. "She called me 'Sweetie'?"

A tingle wandered over her lips and Maya could barely suppress a squeal from delight.

"Ah, no no,that can't be right, right? There's no way she called me that, did she?" Maya rubbed her reddened cheeks, but her smile persisted. 

Maya made the mistake of pushing her work aside and browsing the internet for deeper meaning of the words. She heard from Austin and her pen pal that the Scandinavian languages had peculiarities when they developed from their common root—Norse.

The word she looked up was Icelandic and more commonly used as a sort of endearment between girls—with a less romantic feel to it than Maya first thought. 

"Ah, fiddlesticks, misinterpreted it." Maya let out a strained laugh. The edges of her mouth twitched. The smile dropped. "Ah… I'm crashing. I seriously need my coffee now." 

The chair screeched as the legs ground against the wooden floor. Maya pushed herself out of the chair and briskly walked into the kitchen. 

While the coffee maker made its typical annoying sound of half dying and half exploding, Maya checked the time. 

6:30 pm. 

"Where is she?" Maya wondered and took a quick look outside her balcony, hoping to spot the Valkyrie jogging home before the coffee was ready. 

She didn't find her, and the coffee maker was ready.

Sighing loudly, Maya got herself a cup and took a quick sip. She bit her lips from the taste, scrunching her nose. She felt agitated and peckish, a poor combination paired with her pent-up stress.

Checking the time again, barely five minutes past. Maya paced the kitchen with her cup half drained. She checked the time again, not even two minutes passed. One more time, she checked outside. The jitters started.

I can't take it anymore!

Maya raided her pantry. She deliberately kept it locked with the key hidden far away from reach above the cupboards. It was the only way to control her hunger so she wouldn't check on her snacks every breathing moment.

Out of sight, out of mind, but it rarely worked.

Snacks now covered her desk, drowning out all her lecture books and papers. She worked through half the mountain in under 20 minutes as she worked, grinding through at least four pages in a go. 

Editing work was her least favourite, taking too much time, energy and motivation. She could hook herself up on an IV with coffee, but wouldn't be as fast as she would be while nibbling on something.

By the time the clock hit 8 pm, Maya had finished one of her assignments, downed three cups of coffee and half her pantry of sugar, salt, cheese, or whatever other grub she had at hand. 

There was no sense of accomplishment. Merely a sickness in the pit of her stomach. Maya felt sick, awfully full and disgusted with herself. Shame clogged her brain. And more than anything, she was upset Val was still not back.

She promised to make something special today. I came back earlier for her.

Maya suppressed the disgusting urge to burp and let out a groan. Val's food was to die for, but Maya enjoyed her presence even more. She felt sad about her predicament and sighed. The blue screen of her laptop blinked back at her, humming a silent robotic tune.

"Might as well keep working. One more cup and I'll be done with the last assignment for this month." Maya groggily walked over to the kitchen and held her bloated stomach. It grumbled at her in defiance while stretching out her pants. "Shut up. I know my mistake. One cup, I swear. And maybe a leftover box of doughnuts before I—" 

Suddenly, Maya heard the front door unlocking and creaking open. 

There were only so many possibilities on who opened the door, and Maya could count it down on one hand and subtract it by three. 

Heat rose into her face, and all the agitation dissipated when she saw Val return home, beaming at Maya in return.