My Youth Is Grand Blue

#Flash!

Kamishiro Shiro suddenly blinked and appeared right in front of Iori.

"Congratulations, dear Mr. ATM, you've successfully secured a spot!"

Before Iori could even react, Kamishiro snatched the 50,000 yen from his hand and even raised the price.

"The next spot will be 60,000 yen~"

!!!

Yamamoto and the others looked like they had just been struck by lightning.

This bastard really did raise the price!

The problem was… none of them dared to move now. Don't forget—Chisa still had two free tickets to give out!

Iori let out a long breath, feeling a little better inside.

As long as someone else spends more than him, he's technically profiting!

Come on already!

Hurry up and give your money to this jerk!

Bzzz bzzz bzzz~

Just as the situation reached a stalemate, Mitarai's phone began to ring.

He looked at the screen, then glanced at Kamishiro's group with a weird expression, holding back his laughter.

"Pfft… uh, looks like my childhood friend—my 青女—left a ticket for me. I think we're good?"

??!!!

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Kamishiro immediately snatched the phone, staring at the message in disbelief.

It was from that scumbag's ex-girlfriend!

His source of income—cut off?!

WTF!

You've got to be kidding me!

The business just opened, and now it's already over?

There were only two people, for crying out loud!

Wait… two people…

BOOM!

A terrifying aura exploded behind Kamishiro.

Only then did it hit him: the two "customers" he just robbed… were actually his teammates in a way…

Smack!

The whisper of demons—late but inevitable—

"Hey, Kamishiro-kun, let's have a little talk about those tickets, shall we?"

"And also… about Fukuzawa."

"..."

NOOOOO!!!

....Next Morning:.................................................................... 

"Haa~ you two really are bored out of your minds."

Kamishiro Shiro yawned and looked at his two friends speechlessly.

The two idiots had gone wild at Yamamoto's place all night.

Because he overslept, Kamishiro only showed up when it was all over.

(So lucky!!!)

All he had to do was pick up these two morons and bring them back—it honestly felt like getting a taste of what it's like to be a grumpy old dad.

If he really were their dad, he'd have beaten the crap out of them by now.

Even though the two of them looked perfectly fine, as if nothing had happened…

Kamishiro knew—that was just on the surface!

Something must have happened while he wasn't there!

As for proof?

Just the sight of Yamamoto and his gang grinning as they sent these two off—despite looking like they had been tortured by some punishment game—was proof enough!

Whatever punishments Iori and Kohei got must've been on par—or worse!

"? – _ – ? Thank heavens you rescued us."

"We owe you our lives!"

"..."

Kamishiro facepalmed.

Did these two numbskulls seriously get their brains scrambled?

It's already the afternoon of the next day, and they're still acting like half-dead zombies.

Shaking his head, he decided he'd just bring them to GB.

After all, that was their usual respawn point.

Too bad the upperclassmen weren't around today—otherwise, maybe these two would've "revived" a little faster.

At GB~

"What's up with those two?"

The girls looked at Kamishiro in confusion.

Since arriving, Iori and Kohei had been slumped over the table, not moving an inch.

Gulp gulp gulp~

Kamishiro chugged a bottle of wheat juice and said, "Probably partied too hard last night. They're in the middle of respawning now. Want to give them some beer? That might help them recover faster."

(???)

"…Is this beer some kind of new fertilizer?" Chisa couldn't help but roast him.

Even without farming experience, everyone knows this is the worst time to use beer.

Is it Iori and Kohei's weird biology, or Kamishiro's messed-up logic that's to blame?

"Looks like you two had a wild night, huh~"

Azusa teased, poking Kohei's nose playfully, her eyes full of gossip.

"Haha, you're just joking, right?"

Kohei chuckled, acting like Azusa-senpai was just messing with him.

Only Iori knew…

That girl's head was full of hardcore adult-rated trash—and it was all real!

"Well, no need to bother with these two idiots anymore. You guys were gonna play mahjong?"

Kamishiro pointed to the set nearby.

"Oh, that? Nanaka dug it out from under the counter. Apparently the old man bought it ages ago and never used it. What do you say, Shiro? Want to play a round?"

Kamishiro was tempted.

His eyes flashed with nostalgia.

The last time he played mahjong… was in his previous life.

In this life, he never had enough people to play.

Azusa noticed the look in his eyes and smiled slyly.

"Then let's spice things up—strip mahjong!"

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Everyone froze in shock and stared at her.

Strip?

Mahjong?

How do those two words even go together!?

This instantly made Kamishiro think of some infamous Taiwanese film studio's works…

Chisa didn't hesitate—she immediately turned and walked behind the bar.

She could already see where this was going.

There was no way she was getting involved!

"Well, Azusa-senpai, just to be sure…"

"When you say strip mahjong, you mean…"

"You replace point loss with taking off clothes~"

Azusa cheerfully clarified.

Instantly!

The two guys looked like they'd just eaten senzu beans—fully revived and in battle mode!

(???)

Human joy is not shared.

Kamishiro had zero desire to cheer.

He wasn't a virgin like Iori and Kohei!

Azusa-senpai?

Didn't even move the needle for him anymore.

He just wanted to play mahjong—nothing more!

(??ω??)

Time to show them another one of his identities—the God of Gambling!

All players present.

While the others were still carefully arranging their tiles, Kamishiro confidently clacked his hand together.

Snap!

All 13 tiles stood perfectly in a line!

His smooth move made the others tense up.

Clearly—an expert was among them!

Iori and Kohei exchanged glances and locked in their objective:

Just make Azusa-senpai lose. Kamishiro? Ignore him.

Meanwhile, Kamishiro—hailed as the expert—was staring at his hand with a dark expression.

Hmm… not great.

Not a single matching pair in sight.

All 1s and 9s in circles, bamboos, and characters.

That wasn't the worst part.

No—the real issue was…

Could someone please explain what the hell East, South, West, North, Red Dragon, Green Dragon, White Dragon meant!?

Kamishiro had completely forgotten—

He had played mahjong in his past life!

Back then, he lived in Sichuan Province, where they played Sichuan-style mahjong—no winds or dragons involved, and you even needed to miss one suit!

So…

How the hell was he supposed to play this version!?

Just then—it was his turn to draw.

"..."

Kamishiro gritted his teeth.

Whatever! Mahjong is all the same, right? Just miss one suit, that's the key!

Even if… even if he was missing a few too many…

Do East-South-West-North count as a "suit"??

Draw!

Nine Bamboo!

Kamishiro's face lit up—excellent! A solid start!

Now all he needed was a pair to build from.

With confidence, he discarded his least favorite tile—a Nine Dot.

"KAN!"

"Wheee~ Thanks for the tile, Shiro~"

Azusa giggled as she snatched the 9-dot tile from Kamishiro Shiro.

For her, it was the perfect opening hand—like a heaven-sent win!

"..."

Inhale—

Exhale—

Through deep breathing, Kamishiro Shiro calmed his heart. As a gambling god, a setback like this was still acceptable.

Who knows, maybe he could get a win from someone declaring after a kong?

Of course… that's assuming he even knew how to win in the first place…

"Huh?"

 Nanaka, who had walked up beside him, looked at his tiles with a puzzled expression.

"Shiro, did you misread your hand? Just now, you already had a Thirteen Orphans win. Why did you throw out the 9-dot?"

Σ(?д?|||)!!

Everyone turned to stare at Kamishiro Shiro in disbelief—including Chisa at the bar.

A Thirteen Orphans win on the opening hand? What kind of godlike luck is that?!

And he threw away the tile that completed it?

This guy came here just to ruin the game, didn't he!?

Even Azusa couldn't help but ignore the rules and leaned over to look at Shiro's hand.

If he hadn't discarded the 9-dot just now, then yes—it was a perfect Thirteen Orphans hand!

If this were for money, everyone at the table would be sobbing.

However…

The 9-dot was discarded—and immediately called for a kong!

(??ω??)

No chance anymore~

"Aww, Shiro, you were just too careless. But I'm not giving that tile back, okay~"

 Azusa comforted him while secretly snickering. This was a Thirteen Orphans, for crying out loud!

Kamishiro Shiro looked a little awkward. He realized he might not be able to keep up the act anymore…

"Ah, it's nothing, really. By the way, Azusa-senpai, what is a Thirteen Orphans?"

(′｀;)?

???

Everyone was stunned.

You're a gambling god and you don't know what Thirteen Orphans is?!

"Hi everyone, sorry I'm a bit la—"

Aina froze mid-sentence as she took in the scene before her.

The table where they usually drank was now occupied by a full-on mahjong setup.

 Nanaka-san and Azusa-senpai were both calmly seated in their chairs—that part was fine.

But…

Why did Iori and Kohei look like two demons crawling out of hell?! The aura behind them had even formed devil masks!

You guys are literally emissaries from the underworld, huh?!

Also…

Why is Kamishiro Shiro hugging Nanaka's thigh and crying?!

(???)

"So… what exactly happened here?"

Aina asked the only seemingly normal person present—Chisa.

"They're playing strip mahjong."

{{(°△°;")}}!

Strip… mahjong?

Aina's reaction was identical to how Iori and Kohei had reacted earlier—complete disbelief.

"Mm-hmm, just like you're imagining," Chisa nodded. She had already become used to things like stripping games. This time it was just replacing strip rock-paper-scissors with mahjong, that's all.

The only thing she didn't expect… was that her big sister would be involved, too.

That's right—there had been a change in players at the mahjong table.

The "gambling god" Kamishiro Shiro had been forcefully eliminated by a 2-to-1 vote… because he didn't know how to play Japanese mahjong!

Now, he was sitting with the gentle big-sister type and learning the ropes~

As for why Iori and Kohei were going full beast mode?

Stripping. Big sisters.

You didn't even need to explain beyond those two reasons.

The Match Begins!

Iori and Kohei instantly activated their secret weapon—mind link!

As a shared skill between their little group, this battle was unfair from the very start!

Now that the annoying Kamishiro Shiro was out of the picture, the two had formed a solid alliance. No matter who won the hand, it'd be a win for both!

'Kitahara, I need a few specific tiles!'

Kohei signaled with his eyes—he was a few tiles away from completing his hand!

'Got it!'

Iori gave a barely noticeable nod. In this kind of thing, he was always fully supportive!

However, the two of them seemed to have forgotten one very important thing—

"I'd like to report something! These two are cheating—they're communicating using eye contact and telepathy!"

Kamishiro Shiro raised his hand and ratted them out without hesitation!

You traitor!!! ×2

Iori and Kohei's eyes turned bloodshot. They couldn't believe that Shiro would stab them in the back!

"Huh? Really, Iori? That's cheating, you know~"

"Cheating's not allowed."

The two big sisters stared at them playfully. They'd long heard rumors that the trio could communicate telepathically—but to think it was true! How fascinating~

"Ahaha, what are you talking about?"

"We're good kids, really."

Iori and Kohei chuckled nervously, while desperately transmitting their thoughts to Shiro:

'Dude, what the hell are you doing?!'

'This is strip mahjong! Fan service! FAN SERVICE!'

They tried to tempt Shiro with the allure of the big sisters undressing. But Shiro had been professionally trained. Did they really think he'd care about that?

His face instantly morphed into a smug expression, like Xu Jiang from gangster films:

"What kind of trashy fan service is this? I've seen better."

No one cheats in front of the gambling god.

"I confirm they just tried to tempt me. I suggest immediately fitting them with anti-cheat devices!"

"Approved!"

Under Iori and Kohei's death stares, Shiro personally handed each of them a pair of sunglasses!

Their telepathic technique required eye contact. With sunglasses on, it was completely blocked!

Sure enough, the moment they put them on, their connection was severed.

Now they could only rely on themselves!

Damn it!!!

In their minds, the two had already cursed Kamishiro Shiro out at least 800 times. It was clear—this guy seriously didn't want them to win, even selling out their weakness.

And… wearing sunglasses to play mahjong—isn't that way too cursed?

To outsiders, Iori and Kohei now looked like two blind men determined to enjoy life by still playing mahjong…

Aina stared at their new getup, the corner of her mouth twitching.

Yeah, she figured it out—they were totally cosplaying blind street musicians!

Though extremely annoyed, the sunglass duo had no choice but to accept reality.

Luckily—

Before putting on the shades, they had already planned out their next move!

'Kohei! This is all I can do for you!'

Iori boldly discarded a "West" tile.

It was from a broken set he'd split up to help. Now everything depended on Kohei!

"Chii!"

Seeing the "West" tile, Kohei knew it was his chance! He pulled out "East" and "South" from his hand to form a sequence with "West."

"..."

Maybe it was because Kohei had shouted with too much vigor, but the room fell into stunned silence.

Both mahjong pros and total newbies stared at the "East-South-West" sequence in the corner, deep in thought.

Wait a minute… what country's mahjong is that from?

"Uhh… I don't think you can make a sequence with those tiles."

"Kohei, take off one piece~"

That weird combination immediately spelled his doom.

SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP!

Iori even unleashed a flurry of slaps.

"(′?`) Honestly… I don't really know the rules…"

Kohei tried to defend himself, but that only made Iori's punishment even harsher.

Even people who don't play mahjong know you can't "chii" wind tiles!

"Hmph! If you can't play, step aside. Let this gambling god take over!"

Kamishiro Shiro could no longer hold back. Even if he didn't understand the rules yet, everything could be learned through practice!

He believed that with his intelligence, he could definitely learn Japanese mahjong within five rounds!

"You bastard! You don't know how to play either!"

Kohei was indignant. Everyone here is a noob, so why single him out?

"At least I don't try to 'chow' a West with a tile from the East or South!"

 Kamishiro Shirou puffed out his chest and retorted, as if this was something to be proud of!

"Bullcrap! I don't believe it—then come and show us how it's done!"

"..."

The onlookers all watched the two arguing over something so trivial and shook their heads in perfect unison.

Totally hopeless…

"Then watch closely!"

 Kamishiro Shirou, looking proud, walked over to Kohei's spot. He was inwardly laughing—there's no way anyone would try to chow a West tile with East and South tiles.

He dramatically waved his hand and pulled a 'North' tile from his hand and placed it next to the 'West' tile!

Only with East, South, West, and North all together could it work!

Not only that, after thinking for a moment, he drew another tile from the wall. You can't win without drawing a tile after all.

Having finished all this, Kamishiro Shirou raised his head proudly and said, "Hmph, see that, idiot? This is what I'd call a mutant kong!"

Kohei's face went through a cycle of emotions as he watched, clearly frustrated he hadn't thought of it himself!

"..."

The rest of the group couldn't even bear to watch anymore. Just what virtue or luck does GB possess to have both a sleeping dragon and a young phoenix appear at once?

You say Kamishiro Shirou knows how to play? He just did a kong with East, South, West, and North…

But if you say he doesn't know how to play, well, he did know to draw a tile…

Just what country's mahjong are these two playing?!

In the end, Kamishiro Shirou didn't get to play at the table. The difference between Sichuan-style and Japanese mahjong was just too great. He couldn't understand why perfectly good mahjong had to be messed up with these East-South-Buddha-West-North things!

He could only bite his towel in frustration and watch them play joyfully, enviously.

So envious he was about to cry!

Damn it! He swore he'd master Japanese mahjong once they got back!

 Kamishiro Shirou made up his mind. There's no way the God of Gambling would be defeated by a small setback like this!

And right now, things were looking great on the battlefield~

Even though Kohei was gradually getting the hang of the rules, because of how high their error rates were, both of them were already almost stripped bare…

Damn it!!!

Iori screamed in his heart in impotent rage. Why is it always a pig teammate?! Just like in that tennis match!

"I drew and won~"

Azusa's playful voice snapped Iori back to reality. He resignedly removed another piece of clothing.

Wait!

Iori suddenly remembered something important!

If it's a self-draw win, then all three players at the table have to strip!

That means Nanaka-san too…

SPLAT!

Before he could finish that thought, a black object suddenly covered his eyes.

It was a towel soaked in ink!

Not just him—Kohei's eyes were also covered in the same way!

After dealing with the "dirty looks" from the two guys, Kamishiro Shirou whipped out his precious camera!

"All right, Nanaka-san, I'm ready!"

 Kamishiro Shirou looked deadly serious, as if doing something incredibly sacred.

"You're going too far!"

"Trying to hog everything for yourself—what does this game have to do with you?!"

At this point, Iori and Kohei had recovered. With sunglasses on, there was no way they could actually be blinded—it just made their eyes look "weird."

Realizing what Kamishiro Shirou was up to, the two of them flew into a rage. How dare he try to monopolize the situation!

"(′～‵）I will never hand Nanaka-san over to you beasts!"

"And you, who wants to photograph everything, have zero right to say that!!!"

Aina shouted, her face bright red. These three idiots were exactly the same! All perverts on the same level!

Damn it! They're just two lumps of useless fat—why are they so popular?!

"Umm…"

 Nanaka-san watched the commotion between the three of them and looked a little embarrassed. She didn't know whether she should strip or not.

Though it wasn't all that different from wearing a swimsuit, it was still underwear… and that just felt more embarrassing.

But rules were rules, and it was a game.

"Stop!!"

Seeing the flicker of resolve in Nanaka's eyes, Aina immediately stepped in front of her.

She met Aina's furious gaze—and as for Iori and Kohei, they'd already been temporarily suppressed.

Aina didn't back down and met her stare with an equally fierce one.

Then she pointed to her own socks. "You can't start with this part, can you? There's plenty of other stuff to take off first!"

"Oh!"

Aina's words seemed to open up a whole new world for Nanaka-san. With a smile, she took off her pantyhose. "So that's allowed too~"

"Tch!"

"Damn that zombie in makeup!"

Iori and Kohei, trying to counter Kamishiro Shirou, instantly looked crestfallen. Again with that zombie girl!

"Much appreciated!"

Unnoticed, Kamishiro Shirou had somehow teleported from under Iori and Kohei to Nanaka's side.

And he solemnly stuffed those pantyhose into his pocket.

BAM!

# Chisa's Justice Fist!

 Kamishiro Shirou made passionate contact with the floor.

Chisa, cheeks flushed, snatched her sister's pantyhose. No way was she going to let someone else take something like that!

Σ(°△°|||)

Iori and Kohei, upset they hadn't gotten the pantyhose, now looked relieved.

Indeed, this kind of operation really needs a scout.

"Damn, I was so close to success…"

 Kamishiro Shirou rubbed the giant bump on his forehead as he returned to the two idiots, dejected.

If he'd just been a little faster, he could've added a new trophy to his collection.

"Heh. No ambition."

Now that the sunglasses were off, the internal team chat was reactivated!

"If we want the real deal, it's gotta be her actual underwear!"

"We've already won a round—it's a good omen. Next turn is ours."

"That zombie in makeup messed things up this time, but next time Nanaka-san will have no choice but to strip!"

"..."

(??? )

After hearing the entire internal dialogue, Kamishiro Shirou looked at the two idiots in stunned silence.

If he remembered correctly… it was Azusa who drew and won just now, right? What does it have to do with you two?!

And also!

You two are already down to your boxers!!!

"Sigh…"

 Kamishiro Shirou sighed deeply. He was already thinking of how to knock these two fools unconscious.

Not because he trusted their mahjong skills—if it were just them, he wouldn't even need to worry!

The real problem was…

There's a hungry wolf on the other side!

He looked over to where Azusa was sitting.

That hungry wolf was already drooling at the sight of Nanaka-san.

She's been planning this for ages!

BZZZZZ

Just as they were about to start the next round, the store phone rang.

Chisa answered it, and her expression turned a little strange.

"Sis, the supplier says there's something urgent and they need to talk to you."

"Okay, I'm on it~"

 Nanaka-san looked apologetically at everyone. "Sorry, I have to step out for a bit. As a substitute, I'll have Aina take my place!"

{{(°△°; )}}!

Aina froze. She never agreed to play mahjong! This was strip mahjong!!

Before she could even say no, Nanaka had already pushed her into the chair.

╰(///)╯

(?_?|||)

Iori and Kohei, who were excited a second ago, now collapsed onto the table as if their life energy had been drained.

"You two are so unbelievably rude!!!"

Aina exploded. This must've been the dozenth time she was jealous of those two lumps of fat!

"Well then, I'll send Shiro to my spot!"

# BOOM!

When it rains, it pours!

Iori and Kohei looked despairingly at Azusa, who had now left the table.

She didn't even leave them a shred of hope!

"Hmph! The God of Gambling has arrived!"

 Kamishiro Shirou couldn't care less about the inner thoughts of these two idiots. As long as there was mahjong to play, that was all that mattered!

As for lewd things?

Wasn't Aina still here?

Anyway, for these two idiots, just having a girl around was already lucky. And let's not forget—Aina was a classic yamato nadeshiko-type beauty.

Not a loss at all!

After learning just a little while ago, he had pretty much grasped the rules. Now was the time for practical experience!

Come on, Aina!

Once they played this game of strip mahjong, their relationship was sure to level up!

＼(`Δ')／

…

Azusa leaned back comfortably on the couch, watching the energetic freshmen with a faint smile tugging at her lips.

This was youth~

"Kokushi Musou!!"

Right out of the gate, Aina gave the trio a huge surprise.

Unlike Kamishiro Shirou's "immortality" round earlier, Aina's Kokushi Musou (Thirteen Orphans) hand was something she had actually built up and achieved herself.

That was skill!

Seeing that familiar hand formation, Kamishiro Shirou couldn't help but shed a tear. That could've been MY god-tier hand!

(╥_╥)

Aina had already won quite a few rounds. Since they had rotated players, everyone was starting fresh.

So far, Aina had only taken off one article of clothing—and that was when Kamishiro Shirou had won with a self-draw.

"Come on, pull yourselves together, you two…"

 Kamishiro Shirou kept shooting glances at Iori and Kouhei, sending silent signals with his eyes.

Ever since the two "big sisters" had been replaced, these two guys had apparently lost all worldly desires. They were playing super passively—down to just their boxers, no less.

"Ah… it suddenly feels like all hope is lost."

"What was once within reach… has now flown away."

"Can you two not make it sound so obviously dirty?!"

Aina's forehead twitched, a black line appearing as she inwardly sighed over how unfair life was for someone who lacked… well… curves.

Judging from the pace, this game should end soon.

Probably with Iori ending up naked again—something she had already built up an immunity to by now.

Honestly, was this even a punishment for them? Or more like some twisted reward?

From Aina's perspective, it felt more like she was being punished. She seriously wondered if staring at this stuff for too long would…

"Ugh, I just can't get into it. I'm going to the bathroom."

"Me too."

Iori and Kouhei headed for the restroom—they had completely given up on life. Without the older girls, this wasn't the kind of mahjong they wanted to play!

"…These two are really something."

 Kamishiro Shirou sighed. It was hard to enjoy mahjong under these circumstances.

Then he turned to Aina with a helpless look—like a parent watching a prized cabbage being snatched away by a low-tier pig.

m9( ｀д′ )!!!!

"What's with that look!?"

Aina couldn't take it anymore. She clearly felt bullied. Just because she didn't have "fat", she was being looked down on!

(｀皿´)

She swore silently to herself: once she got back, she was going to have Kiyoko give her a massage!

And she would definitely eat those giant papayas her family had sent her from back home!

Wait—she just remembered something!

Speaking of Kiyoko… Aina suddenly recalled the request she had made to her earlier.

"Hey, Kamishiro , Kiyoko found out about your golden ticket. She told me to bring you along to the maid café later—she's saved you a seat."

"Not going."

 Kamishiro Shirou rejected it instantly.

Hmph!

That woman!

Didn't even give him a golden ticket herself and now wanted him to go find her?

No way!

"…That was a really fast rejection."

Aina sweatdropped. Kiyoko had predicted this reaction from the very beginning. Clearly, she had a firm grasp on how this guy thought.

"She said if you don't come, she'll storm your room like those guys from high school… Wait, storm? High school?"

Aina tilted her head in confusion. Even when Kiyoko had first told her that, she hadn't understood what it meant.

"Did you guys play real-life CS or something back in high school?"

(;?＿?)

Seeing Aina's pure and innocent gaze, Kamishiro Shirou averted his eyes. How was he supposed to tell her that "storming" meant the actual kind of explosion you saw in games…

There had been one time he accidentally leaked his address, and those lunatics actually showed up and stormed the place!

Damn it! Since when did Kiyoko become such a little devil!?

After a brief internal struggle, Kamishiro Shirou stuck to his position. "Still not going!"

What a joke!

Who did they think he was?

As if he'd give in to threats!

Today it's the maid café, what will it be next time? Something more "advanced"?

Nope!

Worst case, he'd just go live at the Tora-Tatsu Love Hotel. Let's see if she'd still dare to storm in while the owner was there!

(¬‿¬)

But Aina wasn't surprised. Kiyoko had given her a backup plan...

Her eyes sparkled with gossip-hungry light!

She pulled out a folded note and handed it to Kamishiro Shirou. It was filled with squiggly scribbles she couldn't understand.

Curious, she hadn't been able to get any answers from Kiyoko. So now, she was counting on Kamishiro Shirou to explain it.

After all, Kiyoko had confidently declared, "As soon as he sees this, he'll definitely agree."

(′｀;)?

 Kamishiro Shirou took the note, a bit bewildered. There was no way he'd be swayed by some weird—

"No problem! Anything you want me to bring with me?"

He took back everything he just thought.

Yes, there were things that could sway his principles!

"..."

Seeing this dramatic 180° shift, Aina was more and more desperate to know what that paper said!

"You don't have to bring anything. Just tell me what Kiyoko said to you!"

Azusa leaned over, her eyes also sparkling with gossip. She also adored that little girl Kiyoko!

(;?＿?)

"Adults' business. Kids should stay out of it!"

"Oh come on! I passed on the message for you, didn't I?!"

"Shiro~ Sis is an adult, too~ Don't you want to share with Sis~?"

(?ˉ??ˉ??)

 Kamishiro Shirou ignored their gossipy stares and chose to play dead.

There was no way he could say something that embarrassing out loud!

 Kiyoko really was something—why couldn't she just text him? Instead, she had to send Morse code through Aina. What if someone cracked it mid-transmission!?

But…

Damn, that was hot!!!

He was already fired up!

As for what the note said?

Let's just say: Kids shouldn't pry too much (??ω??)

"New outfit. Pink. Twin-tails. Got it?"

 Kamishiro Shirou had to admit— Kiyoko really knew his heart inside out!

She even knew he liked pink!

Decision made. This year's school festival? He'd spend it at her maid café!

Ehehehe, maids aren't so bad either~

Completely caught in Kiyoko's trap, Kamishiro Shirou had already forgotten the other promise he'd made earlier…

…

Thud!

Just as Aina and Azusa were still pestering Kamishiro Shirou about the meaning of the note, a loud thud drew everyone's attention.

Iori and Kouhei stepped out of the bathroom, faces solemn.

They radiated the kind of aura you'd expect from generals heading into battle!

If it weren't for the fact that they were only wearing boxers and had literally just come from the bathroom… they might've actually looked cool.

The two sat down again. The moment they did, everyone clearly felt a shift in their energy!

It was just like when the two older girls were around—or maybe even stronger!

(′｀;)?

So… did the toilet enlighten them or something? Did they suddenly realize that "flatter" figures were fine too?

Man, that bathroom was powerful—changing a guy's preferences in mere minutes.

Scary.

"So what happened to you two?" Kamishiro Shirou asked, curious what new mental illness they'd caught.

"Nothing much. We just realized that our passive attitude toward the game earlier was wrong!"

"We request a full restart!"

"..."

(???)

Are you dreaming? What is this, a galgame? You think you can just save and reload your life like it's a game?

Those two are definitely up to something fishy!!!

My name is Iori Kitahara.

Right now, I'm playing a game of strip mahjong with a few friends.

Since there are no big sisters present, it's kinda boring. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Even if I end up naked, it's no big deal!

But…

Everything changed after I went to the bathroom.

I completely forgot something very important with my bro Kohei!

Yesterday, we both got hit with Yamamoto's "Death Penalty" — lip marks on our butts!

We hadn't been paying attention, so we forgot all about it—until we went to the bathroom and remembered!

Now imagine… if we end up showing our rear ends to a bisexual and a scumbag...

Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Not only would everyone around us misunderstand, but we'd definitely end up on the school forum again!

We absolutely cannot let our underwear come off!!!

…

"They're definitely scheming something!"

"They must've gone off to plan something shady again!"

Shirou Kamishiro and Aina exchanged a rare look of agreement.

Just moments ago, in order to avoid restarting the game, those two had headed back to the bathroom again, as if it were their respawn point.

When Kamishiro tried to go in and check, he got kicked out immediately.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

 "We're fully prepared now!"

Step step step…!

Just as the two were wondering what crazy stuff was happening in the bathroom, Iori and Kohei walked out.

Their tone was no longer the same casual one from before.

No—

Not just their tone, even their appearance had completely changed.

(???)

How should I even put this?

Wearing swim goggles, hair clips, tied hair, dive watches, and wrist guards… this was too avant-garde for normal humans to comprehend.

But the most outrageous part?

What's up with those band-aids on your bodies?!

Did… did you steal Aina's equipment?!

"...You guys seem to have some really random stuff on you now," Aina muttered, pouting.

These two are totally cheating.

"Yeah! Exactly! How can you chea—wait, when did YOU…?!"

Kamishiro was about to agree, only to realize Aina herself had gone fully geared up too!

Nail art, hair clips, scrunchies, fake lashes, necklaces… nothing less than the guys.

"…."

Kamishiro stared blankly at the three fully equipped players, then looked down at himself—

Only underwear and a t-shirt left.

His so-called "buddies" were having a fashion show and clearly didn't plan to invite him.

A wave of deep malice hit him.

He'd somehow been excluded without even realizing it.

Damn cheaters!!!

Unfortunately, Kamishiro didn't have time to re-gear. With his two remaining "equipments," he was forced into battle among these overpowered cheaters!

After a fierce round of battle, the floor was littered with all sorts of bizarre items.

Just the number of hair clips alone was uncountable.

Not to mention band-aids, and the rule of losing one item per loss — even nail art had to go!

"Dammit! Why are you two resisting so hard today?!"

"Don't underestimate us, Makeup Corps Zombie!"

"We have our beliefs!"

"(￣～￣) "

Watching the scene get fired up out of nowhere, Kamishiro sat down with a bag of sunflower seeds.

He didn't really get what they were so passionate about, but hey — it didn't seem like it had much to do with him?

Originally, he had been the main target, since he only had two items of clothing. Once he stripped down, the game would end.

But…

After over ten rounds of direct battle, the other three gave up.

This guy had a passive skill!

When Kamishiro was down to just his underwear, he suddenly got possessed by the gambling gods, and just couldn't lose anymore!

Kamishiro was now floating in pride.

Didn't I tell you? I really AM the gambling god!

?(???)?

"That pair of undies is seriously an artifact. And here I thought it was only useful in strip rock-paper-scissors."

Sister Azusa looked at his legendary underwear with a bit of reverence.

"But now it's no fun anymore for little Shiro~"

"…Is this kind of bizarre trait really necessary?" Chisa couldn't hold back anymore.

It might seem like a metaphysical phenomenon worth studying, but why the hell does it revolve around underwear?

Was this… divine trolling?

"Damn it, this can't go on!"

Iori's face darkened — things were getting dangerous.

He only had two pieces of clothing left. Kohei was in even worse shape — only one.

And their opponents?

Still had at least six items left.

Damn it, why didn't he think of nail art earlier?! You could lose that ten times!

If they lost one more round, the game would be over…

And the lip prints on their butts would be completely exposed!

No way! Absolutely not!

At this point, they had only one last trump card.

Iori's eyes turned to Kamishiro.

Only he could help them turn the tide!

Kamishiro, in the middle of happily snacking, suddenly sensed Iori's gaze.

That blazing-hot stare—it was like a starving wolf spotting a defenseless lamb.

'Scumbag! Help us end this game already!'

'? o?o? Iori, buddy, I'd love to finish you off too, but I'm not sure I can win this hand~'

'You idiot! I'm not asking you to win! I'm asking you to LOSE ON PURPOSE!'

'Denied.'

Kamishiro shot him down immediately.

Are you kidding? He's the gambling god.

Dirty tricks like throwing a round are strictly forbidden!

But of course… everything is negotiable.

'Unless you tell me—why are you so desperate not to take off your underwear? (??ω??)'

His grin grew more perverted.

He had already noticed earlier that Iori and Kohei weren't trying to help Aina blend in—

They were trying to avoid being stripped!

That could only mean—

His buddies were hiding a secret from him!!!

Kamishiro's eyes blazed with tabloid gossip flames.

(;?＿?)

Iori turned his head away in despair.

The whole reason he didn't want to strip was because of this scumbag!

Like hell he'd tell him!

Just when Iori was about to give up…

The team's other voice spoke up:

'I think… this could work.'

A Fukuzawa (10,000 yen note) suddenly appeared in front of Kamishiro.

Without hesitation—

In just 0.1 seconds, that note had already made a cozy home in Kamishiro's pocket!

'Of course, my dear No. 2 ATM!'

 'However…'

Kamishiro's face wore a sly smile—clearly, there was room for negotiation.

'You bastard! Why were you so damn quick to take the money just now?!'

Kohei's face darkened.

That Fukuzawa was his last savings!

'Now now, don't get upset, my honorable ATM… I'm sure the secret you're hiding is worth more than just one Fukuzawa~ If you had… say, one more?'

Kamishiro's expression twisted into that of a greedy goblin.

ψ(*｀ー′)ψ

Iori and Kohei's expressions turned grim.

The worst-case scenario had arrived — this bastard was raising the price!

'How do we know this isn't your final demand?!'

'I'm a very honest businessman. You just never asked for a quote before. If you don't trust me, I can return this Fukuzawa.'

Kamishiro placed the bill back on the table—though his heart clearly ached doing it.

After thinking for a bit, Iori and Kohei decided…

To trust him one last time.

He really was their only hope.

'Kohei! We need more Fukuzawas!'

'How the hell would I have more?! That was donated to me online! I'm broke!'

Kohei had nothing left. He had already burned through most of it just to buy the entrance ticket.

Iori was in the same boat.

As for Kamishiro?

That bastard never paid them back.

All he did was hand them their entry ticket...

Although that ticket was indeed very valuable… that's only if they actually sold it!

Swish!

While the two were still thinking, Fukuzawa once again vanished before their eyes.

In the end, Kamishiro Shirou couldn't resist the temptation. He just couldn't bear to let that precious ticket slip away.

You have to understand—this was real money! Not some IOU nonsense like what Iori had!

'Dear esteemed ATM sirs, while 10,000 yen isn't quite enough to cover the cost of the secret, considering our friendship, our humble store has decided to go ahead with the transaction. However, the deal will be effective starting next round~'

"..."

(???)

The two of them fell into silence. What damn friendship?! They didn't have any!

 Kamishiro Shirou's attitude made them feel like they'd totally lost out on every purchase they'd ever made from him…

But it was too late now. With no other options, they both nodded. Iori still had two pieces of clothing left, just enough to survive this round of the game!

Meanwhile,

At the mahjong table, Aina was frantically reporting to the referee, Azusa-senpai, and Chisa.

All these shady deals were happening right under her nose!

Did they really think she was blind?!

That Fukuzawa ticket kept disappearing and reappearing right in front of her—something was definitely off!

Just because no one said anything, did they really think their cheating wouldn't be noticed?! Where's their mahjong sportsmanship?!

(`へ´)

This was bullying! She wanted in on their team voice chat too!

…

However, due to a lack of solid evidence (Aina needed to prove that even with cheating she could still win),

The mahjong game continued!

"Fifty thousand!"

Iori confidently threw out a tile, the result of careful calculation!

As long as he played that tile, the corpse-beast (the dummy player) would be forced to win, which meant he'd only need to strip one piece of clothing.

And next round, that guy Kamishiro Shirou would definitely feed him the tiles!

"I win…"

Aina said a little reluctantly. She had actually wanted to draw the winning tile herself.

"Hmph, in the end, I'm still the superior strategist!"

Iori gave a mocking look, as if the victory was already his.

"..."

 Kamishiro Shirou said nothing. Why did this guy look like he'd won, even though he clearly lost?

Even if Kamishiro Shirou lost the next round, Aina would still be the ultimate winner, right?

Also…

 Kamishiro Shirou glanced at his hand—he could've won with the exact same tile, the 50,000.

If he had just revealed his hand, Iori's entire plan would've gone down the drain.

But thinking back, he'd already sabotaged Iori so many times lately that he actually felt a little bad…

Whatever, he'd let him off just this once～

?(≧∀≦)ノ

He really was just too kind～

"Wait! I win too!"

{{(°△°; "}}!

Kohei's voice suddenly grabbed everyone's attention.

So much for the boat of friendship—it capsized in an instant!

Iori turned around in disbelief, his expression resembling a tragic protagonist in some melodramatic novel.

'You… you betrayed me!'

"Well, that wraps things up～"

Azusa stretched lazily. She thought this would've ended quickly, but it somehow dragged on. Even she felt exhausted just watching and needed a drink to recharge～

Since it was a double win from the same discard, the rules dictated that Iori had to remove two pieces of clothing.

"You bastard!!!"

Iori couldn't hold it in anymore. How could a mighty land god like him end up with such an idiotic teammate?!

"Uuuuh, I thought you were feeding me tiles again!"

Kohei looked confused—he genuinely thought Iori was helping him, just like before.

"(๑¯ω¯๑) Dear customer, no refunds from this store~"

Of everyone present, Kamishiro Shirou was the happiest. Not only did he get a Fukuzawa ticket for free, but now he also got to witness the hidden secrets of his buddy～

It was fate～

"Come on, strip already～"

Azusa urged from the side, clearly curious about what secrets Iori might be hiding.

 Kamishiro Shirou was already prepared—camera in hand!

Gritting his teeth, Iori knew there was no escaping this disaster today. With a fierce resolve, he took off his underwear!

Click!

A photo of his butt covered in lipstick marks was captured by Kamishiro Shirou.

 Kamishiro Shirou stared in horror—this… was this kind of art too avant-garde for humanity?!

Do all Japanese people play this wild?!

And did this mean that Iori, a virgin, had finally graduated?

Why hadn't there been any announcements?! Did he graduate at a brothel or something?!

Aina looked like she was going to faint.

Her secret crush had been defiled by another woman—and in such an open way!!!

(////▽////)

She couldn't take it anymore. This mahjong game had definitely been sent to punish her. She was the real winner, damn it!

Seeing her expression, even Kamishiro Shirou couldn't bear it. He tried to console her:

"Try to think positively. What if it was… a guy?"

"That would be even worse!!!"

"..."

Chisa also turned away and quietly searched on her phone: "Do brothel visits leave lipstick marks?"

Only Azusa-senpai remained completely calm, totally unfazed. She simply said:

"Well, I get it. Iori is a boy, after all～"

!!!

That line instantly reignited Iori's spirit. He realized something important—if it were only him, it would be assumed he was with a woman!

Damn it, he hadn't thought of that earlier. He lost a Fukuzawa ticket for nothing.

Wait, what?

The Fukuzawa ticket wasn't even his?

Oh, then it's fine～

All in all, they'd played mahjong, stripped their clothes, and didn't get caught cheating. Iori was ready to happily leave this cursed place.

But just then, Kamishiro Shirou, who was packing up the table, spotted something odd.

"Wait a second. Kohei's win might be invalid."

Kohei's hand didn't actually qualify to win with the 50,000 tile…

"You're right. In that case, Kohei should be the one stripping."

Once everyone confirmed it, Kamishiro Shirou instinctively pulled off Kohei's underwear—not like they hadn't seen it before…

Wait—they had!!!

The scene before him left Kamishiro Shirou stunned. He immediately grabbed his precious camera and went into burst mode!

Because—

Kohei's butt also had lipstick marks just like Iori's!

Case closed!

These two!!!

Ewwwwwwww—

Azusa even burst into tears and ran over to Iori.

"Iori-kun, congratulations!"

Aina was petrified…

This was even more horrifying than a guy being with a girl! How was she ever supposed to look these two in the eye again?!

Σ_(ﾟДﾟ|||)_

.................................

"Actually, I do know the way myself..."

Kamishiro Shiro followed behind a pink-haired figure, a face full of gloom.

Earlier, he had happily come with his three buddies to check out Seiko's café — to see if the maids were proper… no, authentic!

But then…

As soon as they entered the school gates, Busujima appeared out of nowhere and snatched him up at lightning speed. So fast that his buddies didn't even have time to react.

Of course… maybe a part of that was because his friends didn't want to help.

...

"So where are we going? Don't tell me you got lost on your own campus?"

Kamishiro looked around at the nearby security booth.

If he wasn't mistaken, this was the third time they'd passed this spot. He was starting to doubt whether Busujima was even a real student at Aogaku.

"...Shut up! Just follow me!"

Busujima hissed back, eyes darting all around like she was evading something.

(?_?|||)

"You yelled at me…"

It was over. She'd changed.

She used to be a sweet and gentle little sister-type. Now this...

Busujima's face twitched watching Kamishiro act all pitiful again. This guy really knew how to push her buttons — especially since she liked the frail, helpless type.

"No, it's just... some unexpected circumstances came up..."

She looked away awkwardly.

When she'd invited Kamishiro earlier, she completely forgot — she hadn't even opened her shop yet!

And to top it off, she'd signed up for the live voice-acting setup… just to earn a few credits!

(╥_╥)

The problem was, she couldn't even take a proper leave of absence for this event. Technically, she was supposed to be setting up the venue for the voice actor segment…

She had secretly snuck out. Her friends had already realized she was missing and were stealthily messaging her.

There was a chance they might come looking for her any minute now.

Thinking of her two scandalous girlfriends and how they couldn't even walk straight when they saw a good-looking guy…

Absolutely can't let them meet Kamishiro!

(′｀;)?

"Special circumstances?"

Kamishiro was a little puzzled. Was it the kind of "special" like being wanted in high school or something?

Honestly, this did feel kind of like high school again, sneaking around on secret dates and such—hahaha…

The more he thought about it, the more Kamishiro could almost feel the weight of a metaphorical hat on his head.

Wait a sec—this is Oumi Girls!

(???)

"You didn't… do something absolutely despicable here at Oumi, did you?" he asked.

"You think I'm you or something? This is Oumi! There's no way I could replicate a degenerate like you's success!"

Almost telepathically picking up on Kamishiro's meaning, Busujima immediately rebuked him loudly.

This was Oumi, after all—even if she wanted to go fishing, there'd be no fish to catch!

"Then why are you acting all guilty?"

"Because of you, obviously!"

"Me?"

Kamishiro looked even more confused. As far as he could remember, he hadn't gone fishing for girls at Oumi lately. He glanced down at what he was wearing today: a button-up shirt, jeans—clean and sunny-looking.

Still just as handsome as ever!

"Do Oumi girls hate good-looking guys or something?"

"…You really are as sharp as ever," Busujima sighed.

She realized this couldn't go on any longer. She'd just make an excuse later that she went to the infirmary. Damn it, why couldn't those two go flirt with someone else? Why her?!

Just as she was about to pull Kamishiro along to keep moving, her peripheral vision suddenly caught a glimpse of her two very close girlfriends nearby!

BAM!

Without a moment's hesitation, Busujima shoved a stunned Kamishiro into the campus security booth!

She managed to complete the maneuver in the final second before their eyes would've met!

"Ah, Sakurako!"

"This way, over here!"

The two girls waved cheerfully at Busujima, full of excitement, completely oblivious to her awkward demeanor—and the one foot still sticking out of the security booth…

Busujima's face twitched slightly. She subtly kicked the foot back in and walked toward her girlfriends.

She had to get rid of them somehow!

No way was she going to let them witness her first date with Kamishiro after their reunion. She still wanted to brag about it later to that Uncle Kamio guy!

Security Booth

(.-ω-)

Kamishiro nervously eyed the two stoic security guards in front of him.

This probably didn't count as disrupting school discipline… right?

Sensing the heavy atmosphere in the booth, Kamishiro silently pulled out his secret weapon from his clothes:

"Gentlemen, care for a drink?"

"..."

For a moment, the air grew even heavier—like a flock of crows flying overhead.

The two guards stared at Kamishiro like he was an idiot. This was their duty shift, who the heck drinks now?

Wait a second?

What was that?!

Premium Japanese sake worth tens of thousands of yen?!

Well…

Maybe just a sip wouldn't hurt?

Meanwhile, at the Cosplay Maid Café—

Iori looked utterly dead inside, running around the shop in a maid outfit.

No!

He shouldn't even be called Iori anymore!

Call him Ioriko!

With his tall frame and expert-level makeup skills, Iori had now officially become one of the café's maid squad!

And it wasn't just him—Kouhei had also blended in perfectly!

The two of them were busting their butts for the shop with all their might… completely unpaid!

And it had all started about an hour ago.

After splitting off from Kamishiro, the three of them had made it safely to the maid café run by Aina and her crew.

Though they called it a "maid café," it was more like… a café of fully made-up corpse-beasts.

Genius Iori, upon seeing the makeup style, immediately thought of the task given to him by Nanaka-hime.

Without hesitation, he asked Aina to apply the same makeup style to Chisa!

That bastard even used the excuse, "It'll help introduce diving to new people" to tempt Chisa!

And Chisa, unfortunately, had zero resistance to that reasoning.

She fell right into the trap Iori had set for her!

However—!

Chisa wasn't someone who'd go down that easily.

If one of them was going to suffer a social death, everyone was going down with them. They were a team, after all!

Iori, for his part, absolutely refused. No way was he going to sell his dignity and become Ioriko.

As for Kouhei?

He didn't want to waste his precious time either—he had to go reserve good seats!

Unfortunately, Miss Aina used the excuse that "a friend is short on staff" and quickly bribed Kouhei into submission.

Cross-dressing? Kouhei was highly experienced! What otaku hasn't tried it at least once?

Thus was born—Miss Kouheiko!

Not only that—thanks to Miss Kouheiko's appearance, they were able to capture Iori as well, securing Miss Ioriko!

Everything at the scene seemed perfect!

Only Iori felt like his entire life had lost its meaning…

But everything changed when Chisa showed up.

"U-uh… don't stare at me like that."

Elegant maid uniform. Long, slender legs. A slim waist that you could wrap your hands around. And… a horrifying ghost-like makeup job!

"This makeup is too perfect—she's a total corpse-beast!"

"This level of skill completely wipes out any original beauty the model had!"

"Heh… piece of cake."

"..."

Watching the exchange, Chisa sighed. If she'd known, she wouldn't have helped them—she should've just gone to find Kamishiro instead!

"Yo~ Who are these kiddos~?"

As Ioriko and the others were chatting about their makeup, a teasing voice rang out—so excited it sounded like a dirty old man seeing a high school girl.

If it weren't so obviously a woman's voice, Ioriko might've actually called the cops on the spot.

That tone was just way too "uncle."

Ioriko and Kouheiko stiffly turned around. They'd only heard this voice once before.

But considering the setting—and the fact this was a friend of the corpse-beasts—the answer was obvious.

That old flame of Kamishiro's!

They still vividly remembered Kamishiro trembling like a leaf the first time they met her.

This was a girl who could even make a legendary playboy like Kamishiro shiver in fear…

# Aina's trio of close girlfriends appear!

"Nice to meet you! I'm Iida Kanako~"

"I'm Suzuki Keiko~"

"And I'm Kamio Kiyoko~"

Facing the three women, Chisa was clearly nervous and hurriedly introduced herself, "Uh, I'm Kotekawa Chisa."

Kiyoko curiously eyed Chisa. After all, she had already done a deep dive into all the girls in PaB for Kamishiro's sake.

And Chisa was at the top of her watchlist—same club and same department?!

That kind of proximity was a recipe for romance!

Even if Chisa was supposedly Iori's girlfriend, Kiyoko couldn't afford to let her guard down.

She knew Kamishiro had a bad habit—ever since high school—of falling for other people's girlfriends!

Sensing Kiyoko's gaze, Chisa became even more anxious, constantly checking herself for anything odd.

Luckily, someone saved her from the awkwardness.

"Eh? You two aren't saying anything?" Kanako asked, puzzled, glancing at the two tall "girls." She was curious where Aina had found such capable assistants.

"Uh… well…"

"We've actually met once before."

The deep male voice startled Kanako and the others, but once they realized who it was, they burst into laughter.

"Hahaha, oh come on, it's just Iori-kun and Kohei-kun!"

"Haha, Aina, you really got them good!"

"Pfft, hahaha—hic! You two are hilarious! Who would've thought you'd actually look pretty good in drag!"

 Kiyoko laughed as she looked around for Kamishiro Shirou, assuming he must also be cross-dressing and hiding from them.

What a little rascal~

 ?(???)?

Meanwhile, Suzuki was explaining the details of the previous group date to Iori and the others.

After all, during that mixer, Aina had actually begged them to make sure it failed.

"Zombie makeup!"

"You traitor!"

At that moment, Ioriko and Koheiko finally understood the truth behind that failed mixer. No wonder those girls had worn that kind of makeup—who would think that was normal for a date?

"T-There… there was a reason for it!"

Aina hadn't expected the blame to shift to her all of a sudden, and she got flustered!

"Oh~? And what reason might that be?"

"(??ω??) Maybe there was someone at the table she didn't want others to steal~"

"Aaaaaahhh!! Stop talking, all of you!!!"

Aina was about to break down. If they kept talking, her secret was going to be exposed!

"Hey, you must be Iori-kun's girlfriend, right…"

Well, what can you say—Aina's group of besties were all social terrorists. It didn't take long before they pulled Chisa into their conversation too.

Within just a few minutes, they'd all completely hit it off.

Ioriko stared blankly at the scene in front of him, filled with a deep sense of irony.

Aojou University—the school of his dreams.

It wasn't just full of beautiful scenery, but also...

Male college students in drag!

 Female college students with heavy makeup!

 Female students from Izu University in heavy makeup!!

(′?)`

The light in his eyes began to fade.

This was nothing like the Aojou of his imagination!!!

And on top of that…

"Why did they give you guys all the heavy makeup, but give us normal makeup?!"

Ioriko finally asked the question that had been on his mind. It was way too strange that only he and Koheiko had normal makeup.

"Well, you see… if I'd done it that way, then all the trouble would've gathered around you two."

Following Aina's gaze, Ioriko and Koheiko looked over and saw the eyes of the male customers in the shop—like hungry wolves eyeing prey.

"If I'm gonna go talk to someone, it'd be that one…"

"That blonde one's cute too!"

{{亰(°△°; "}}!

Hearing this, Ioriko and Koheiko began to tremble. Only now did they realize that, because they didn't have heavy makeup on, all of the male customers' attention had been focused on them!

A wave of dread rose up between their legs. Anyone with a weaker mind would probably have lost control of their sphincters!

You have to understand—at least 70% of the guys enrolled at Aojou are from Izu University… and some of them are definitely from the mechanical engineering department—a.k.a. the perv squad!

Just like those two guys earlier—they bought their tickets from us!

And now? Not only did they buy their tickets, but they wanted to personally get closer to us too!

We must not let them approach!

Poke poke~

Just as the two were contemplating whether they should also go get heavy makeup, Kiyoko poked them on the arm.

"Have you seen Shiro anywhere?"

 Kiyoko tilts her head

She'd already searched the entire shop but couldn't find any sign of Kamishiro Shirou. Left with no choice, she resorted to in-shop reinforcements.

" Shiro? He's not here."

"He got snatched up by a pink-haired girl at the school gate. Looked like they knew each other—he didn't even resist."

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

 Kiyoko froze. Not here?

Got taken away at the entrance?!

Someone he knows?!

Bullshit!

 Kamishiro Shirou never resists as long as the girl is pretty enough!

But… pink hair…

Immediately, the image of Busujima popped into Kiyoko's mind. Among the girls she knew, only Busujima had hair that vibrant—and the two of them knew each other too!

Thinking along these lines, Kiyoko's expression turned darker and darker. The culprit's identity was getting clearer.

Meanwhile, Ioriko and Koheiko grinned like demons.

They just remembered something.

They were supposed to be a team—how could a teammate abandon his partners?!

"Ah, leave it to us—we'll bring him back for sure!"

"You just sit back and wait!"

They grabbed Kiyoko, who was about to leave to find Shiro. There's no way they were letting the two of them be alone at a fun time like this.

Security Office

At this point, the three had become best drinking bros…

"Come on! One more, bro!"

"Cheers, bro!"

"Bro! Anytime you wanna come here again, just walk right in! Nobody will stop you—I, Murashita Grandson, promise you that!"

"Damn, thanks bro! You've got such a badass name, I gotta drink to that!"

 Shiro filled up another cup for "Grandson"-san. He never expected this guy's name to be so... colorful. Hopefully calling him "Grandson" won't get him punched later.

 (??ω??)

"Cheers, cheers~ (ˉ?ˉ;)"

The two security guards were now totally drunk, clearly no match for Shiro's alcohol tolerance—especially considering he brought nothing but hard liquor.

Ring ring ring~

Just as Shiro was about to keep drinking, his phone rang.

[Caller ID: Northfield Idiot]

He considered not answering, but these two guards were honestly getting boring.

Beep~

"Maid, cool, black stockings, spicy dance—GET BACK HERE NOW!"

Hearing Iori's voice, the previously relaxed Shiro instantly turned serious—even his eyes, usually narrowed, opened slightly!

"TWO MINUTES!"

 Shiro hung up and didn't waste a single second, sprinting toward the maid café!

He knew it—he forgot something important!

Of course!

 Kiyoko and the others' maid café was the most legit one!

He couldn't wait to go judge it for himself!

"Yeah, so that's the story~"

"He'll be here in two minutes~"

Ioriko and Koheiko smiled like blooming flowers. They could already predict the storm of chaos that was about to arrive.

After all, Kiyoko—sitting at the table—was already preparing a pair of stockings.

She gently tugged at the black stockings in her hand, testing their elasticity.

"Two minutes, huh~ Since Shiro's in such a hurry, I have to give him a proper surprise."

Her smile curled up—so twisted it looked like it came straight out of a villain origin story...

Almost there!

Seeing the maid café just ahead, Kamishiro Shirou sped up.

He'd said two minutes, and there was no way he'd be late!

Bang!

Because of how fast he was going—and not looking where he was going—he collided straight into a purple-haired girl.

"Owwww~"

Azusa rubbed her head. She must've forgotten to check her horoscope before going out today. Who still runs in college hallways anyway? Are college students even physically capable of sprinting?

"So soft…"

Thanks to the soft cushion, Shiro was completely unharmed. If anything, he nearly suffocated in all that softness.

"Shiro?!"

"Azusa-nee?!"

Their eyes met—neither expected the "accident" to be each other.

Wow…

"What a coincidence! I didn't expect to see you here, Azusa-nee."

 Shiro gave a bright smile. From his angle, her onee-san charm was through the roof!

(.-ω-)

"Well, it's not that coincidental. I came here specifically to see you guys. So why were you running from outside?"

"Eh? Northfield Idiot told me there were black-stockinged maids dancing here, so I rushed over!"

"…So you weren't here from the start?"

"Yeah, I was with a friend I know earlier."

Kamishiro tilted his head

No way he could say he'd been kidnapped. That'd just make him look pathetic.

Just from the look on Kamishiro Shiro's face, Azusa could tell what happened—this guy must've been off flirting with some girl again.

This was exactly why she didn't want to bring Kamishiro Shiro to her school… Even in a dress, he was dangerous!

Suddenly, her eyes shifted behind Kamishiro, and her expression turned… strange.

"Well, anyway, that's not important. But could you maybe get off of me first?"

"(o Д o*)"

"Oh, right! My bad!"

Only then did Kamishiro realize he was still lying on top of Azusa. No wonder this angle felt so familiar.

"By the way, do you like black stockings?"

Azusa suddenly asked, catching him off guard.

"Yeah, I do. Why?"

"No reason. Good luck, Shiro."

(′｀;)?

Kamishiro looked confused. What did she mean by that? He thought she was about to wear black stockings for him or something. Ugh, what a waste of anticipation.

Whap!

Just as Kamishiro was about to head into the maid café with Azusa, his vision suddenly went blurry!

Not just that—his whole head was wrapped in some mysterious string-like object!

A devilish whisper brushed against his ears—

"Heyyy, Shiro, aren't these your favorite black stockings? Wanna touch them?"

{{(°△°; "}}!

Hearing that voice, Kamishiro Shiro froze on the spot.

"Ki… Kiyoko-chan?!"

"That's right~"

"I, uh… suddenly remembered something urgent. Can I go now?"

Kamishiro tried to shuffle away slowly, though his eyes were covered by the black stockings. Even so, he could vaguely make out the inside of the shop…

There weren't any hot, sexy maids in black stockings.

There were only a bunch of zombie makeup monsters!

No need to imagine— Kiyoko definitely looked like that too!

"Nope~"

Bang!

(╥_╥)

Kamishiro Shiro was KO'd by a righteous iron fist and forcefully dragged into the café. The brutal display scared off a whole group of curious onlookers who had been thinking about entering…

Not long afterward…

A new post would appear on Oumi Girls' School's forum titled:

 "Creepy Café Abducts Handsome Male College Student"

…

Unlike Kamishiro, Azusa felt totally at home the moment she walked into the café.

These were her adorable juniors after all!

The second she entered, she felt her heart healed.

As for the makeup?

That kind of thing doesn't change the softness of your body~

Ehehe, now come let your big sis give you a thorough checkup!

"So you're Chisa?"

Azusa immediately recognized the heavily made-up Chisa in one glance!

"…Yes, but Azusa-senpai, could you let go of your hands first? Is grabbing boobs how you identify people?!"

Chisa's face was red under all the makeup. Seriously—grabbing someone's chest while saying their name is way too weird!

"Hahaha, sorry, sorry!"

Azusa laughed and let go, her eyes drifting to the only two maids in the shop who weren't wearing any makeup.

!!!

Iori's expression was full of terror.

He suddenly realized—

He had invited a wolf into the sheep's den!

If Kamishiro Shiro spotted them, the first thing he'd do was take photos!

And why the heck was Azusa here too?! Weren't they embarrassed enough already?!

? o?o?

Azusa froze when she saw Iori-ko, then, without a word—flipped Iori's skirt!

"YAH!"

Boxers.

Yep, definitely Iori.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Iori-ko was flustered and furious. Oddly enough, being naked normally didn't faze him, but once he put on a skirt, it felt like the area underneath needed to be protected at all costs.

"Haha, it really is Iori!"

"So why did you have to flip my skirt?!"

"Don't sweat the small stuff! So that over there must be Kohei, right~?"

"..."

The suddenly-mentioned blonde maid stayed silent, continuing to fool innocent customers with his eerily accurate feminine voice.

SMACK!

At that moment, a veiny hand clamped tightly onto Iori's shoulder.

(▼皿▼＃)

"So, where's this sexy black-stockinged maid you were talking about?"

Iori turned to find Kamishiro Shiro—carrying Kiyoko's full weight—looking like he was here to end him.

Now that's dedication.

Left with no choice, Iori-ko decided to grant him this one small wish.

"Geez, don't be so impatient. You'll see her soon, Miss Kamishiro Shiro~"

d(?д??)

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

Kamishiro stared at Iori in horror. He had no clue what this meant, but he had a very bad feeling.

Iori-ko slowly pried his fingers loose. "You'll find out soon enough."

Bang!

Losing his grip, Kamishiro smacked into the ground, then was carried off to the kitchen by Kiyoko and her minions.

After all, for the sake of customer experience, what came next was best kept out of sight.

"Sorry about this, Shiro-kun."

"This whole idea was Kiyoko's."

"Hehehe, naughty little Shiro~ You're working here now! That'll teach you to go see that toxic Busujima woman!"

 Kiyoko pulled out a maid uniform from behind her…

…along with Kamishiro's beloved black stockings!

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Seeing those two items—and thinking about what Iori and Kohei looked like now—Kamishiro Shiro suddenly realized.

" Kiyoko… you're… joking, right…?"

"Hmm~ If you want to believe that, I won't stop you. Don't worry, I'll make you sooo pretty~"

!!!

"NOOOO!!!"

"…Wait, can I do my own makeup?"

? o?o?

Crossdressing, huh?

Thinking about it made him kind of excited.

"Surprisingly, this fits perfectly~ So? Do I look good?"

Kamishiro Shiro shamelessly admired himself in the mirror.

With a green wig and the perfect amount of makeup, if he added some fox ears, he could cosplay as Tushan Rongrong from Fox Spirit Matchmaker right now!

Everyone had overlooked something important.

Kamishiro Shiro didn't mind crossdressing at all. Not only that—he kind of looked forward to it.

He had wanted to sneak into Oumi Girls' School dressed as a girl for a long time.

So this was basically just… a rehearsal!

(.-ω-)

"There really wasn't a need to go this all-out…"

"This is amazing. You seriously can't tell it's the same person."

"Ugh… Kiyoko, what do I do? I suddenly feel inferior!"

After seeing Kamishiro's transformation, Kanako leaned on Kiyoko's shoulder and fake-cried. She felt like her feminine charm had just been utterly defeated.

How could a guy in a dress be prettier than her?!

?(???)?

Kamishiro Shiro was very satisfied with everyone's reactions. As expected—if your face is good, gender really doesn't matter.

Not to mention his makeup skills were basically face-swapping level.

Now he could confidently bring out his precious camera and take loads of photos of Iori and Kohei!

After all, he looked so different now—even if they posted his pictures online, no one would believe it was him.

They'd just treat the photos like ones of a goddess and worship them!

If it weren't for the fact that he didn't know how to fake his voice, Kamishiro Shiro would've considered starting a livestream to make some quick cash.

Isn't that faster than writing novels?

Kamishiro flipped his hair confidently. He was ready to go out and enjoy being a silent beauty, adored by the masses!

Click!

He had just stepped out when—paparazzi?!

Kamiko (Kamishiro in disguise) feigned shock and looked over, only to see Ioriko staring at his phone like a subway grandpa staring at a screen.

Ioriko was in a panic. He stared at the unfamiliar beauty on his phone with confusion.

He clearly remembered that the only ones who had gone inside earlier were the three girlfriends of the Makeup Corpse Beast and that scumbag Kamishiro Shiro.

Which begged the question…

Who the heck was this green-haired beauty?!

Wait…

Now wasn't the time to be wondering about that! He'd already seen the green-haired beauty pull out her phone!

Was she about to call the cops?!

Still unaware that he was also crossdressing, Iori sincerely dropped to his knees in apology!

"I'm really sorry! I thought you were my friend and was just playing a prank!"

Click!

A flash went off...

The atmosphere between them suddenly became very awkward~

Kamishiro's face twitched. He had simply wanted to snap a quick picture of Iori's crossdressing with his phone since he didn't have his precious camera with him.

Who would've thought this guy had such a fragile mental state he'd go straight to kneeling?

Also… this photo angle was terrible.

Anyone seeing it would think the photographer was some creepy old perv into burly, thick-waisted maids...

Cackle, cackle…

Sensing the awkwardness, Kamishiro decided it was time to do something!

 Aina and the others would come out any minute now and ruin the whole act. Might as well mess with this idiot a little first~

Tap tap tap tap!

Kamiko typed rapidly on his phone with blinding speed and showed the message to Ioriko.

He hadn't forgotten his role as a mute beauty!

"Um, sorry, I'm not really able to speak. I also took a photo earlier, so now we're even~"

Ioriko stared in disbelief at the message. He had just been preparing for the worst, and yet this girl had resolved the whole situation so perfectly!

He looked up at Kamiko, and that radiant smile...

It was like seeing an angel!!!

At that moment, he shamefully felt his heart skip a beat!

"S-So… could I get your contact info~~~?"

A deep, manly voice startled Kamishiro!

What the hell?! Weren't you disguising your voice for the customers earlier?! Why the sudden baritone now?

And seriously… if you can't do a bubble voice, just don't speak!

That bubble voice is definitely something you picked up from Yamamoto!

Iori realized he had scared the beauty and quickly explained, "This… this was all a prank by my friends, I swear! You're totally not a pervert—

Wait, no!

I mean I'm not a pervert, I mean I don't think you're a pervert—

Wait, crap! I—!"

"Pfft…"

Seeing Iori in this clueless, dumbfounded state, Kamishiro couldn't help but laugh. Then quickly stifled it, afraid of being discovered.

Still… Kitahara's dumb expressions were really too funny!

(*≧▽≦)

Kamiko resumed typing on his phone—time was running out!

"It's okay. Actually, my family runs a tea shop. I grew up with my grandpa, but business has been bad. So I came to the school to work part-time and hopefully sell some tea too. Can you help me?"

Finished typing, Kamiko looked at Ioriko with big, pitiful eyes.

That's right!

He was using the most classic tea-selling girl scam from back home!

And this was the premium edition—the tea girl was standing right here in front of you!

Absolutely can't be a scam!

"I got you covered!"

Perfect. Iori was fully hooked. He felt like love itself was calling out to him!

"Really?! Thank you so much. But… my grandpa's really sick right now. Could you maybe lend me 10,000 yen first…?"

Kamishiro looked at Iori with the same pitiful gaze. He knew they had already sold his ticket and made a ton of money!

?????

The moment Iori heard the word "lend money," his internal alarm bells went off. After being scammed by Kamishiro so many times, his anti-fraud instincts had started kicking in.

But he thought for a moment—this beauty had just come from the kitchen in the back, so she must be friends with the Makeup Corpse girls. In that case, it should be fine.

Besides!

Better to use his money chasing love than get scammed by Kamishiro again!

He resolutely pulled out a Fukuzawa!

Kamiko's eyes lit up. As expected—market-tested scams never fail!

"Eh? Shiro, why didn't you wait for us?"

"Yeah, come take a group photo with us!"

"Huh? Iori-kun, you're here too? What's going on?"

Just as Kamishiro was about to strike gold, Aina and the others appeared!

Instantly ruining his perfect setup.

Iori stood frozen, eyes shifting mechanically between Aina and Kamiko.

(;?＿?)

Kamishiro looked awkward. His hand clutched at the Fukuzawa, pulling with all his might.

Wouldn't budge…

"So bro… still want that tea?"

(メ｀ロ′)/

"I want you to go to hell!!!!!"

...

Waaaaaah! His heart broke once again!

Click! Click click!

"Perfect! Absolutely perfect—hold that pose!"

Inside the maid café, Azusa was gleefully snapping photos with Kamishiro's beloved camera.

Kamishiro himself was enthusiastically striking pose after pose, just like a professional model!

"…Has this guy forgotten his own gender or what?"

Kouhei looked on speechlessly. Even he couldn't switch into a crossdressing persona this easily.

"…I think we've uncovered Kamishiro's secret little fetish."

Aina covered her face in agony. She never imagined things would get to this point. This man clearly had zero sense of shame!

Iori, meanwhile, had suffered a massive emotional blow and was now sulking in the corner.

But at least there was a silver lining…

Kanako and the others were excitedly collecting Fukuzawa bills. Thanks to Kamishiro's appeal, the café's business was booming!

 Aina was even considering adding a photo service!

If it weren't for the fact that the "model" was her first love, she might've thrown him into the hungry crowd already.

"Ugh—why are there so many people all of a sudden? Doesn't feel like a vacation anymore—it's a full-time job!"

At that moment, a very pleasant voice grumbled in Azusa's ear.

It was Kanako's older sister who had come to help out!

Azusa turned her head, puzzled—the voice sounded very familiar.

Their eyes met.

They recognized each other immediately!

"Azusa?!"

"Maya?!"

"Ahhhhhhhh~!" ×2

They both let out excited squeals like old friends reunited!

The people around them were dumbfounded by the scene.

"How could they recognize each other even in that state?"

"Gotta hand it to Azusa-senpai…"

"Maya? Isn't that a dog's name?"

In Kamishiro's mind, an image of a Samoyed with an angelic smile floated up—totally different from the heavily made-up "Makeup Corpse" in front of him.

#Pinch!

"That's a Samoyed, you dummy!"

 Aina pinched the soft flesh on Kamishiro's waist. Seriously, how rude can you be talking like that about someone's sister?!

"Ahh! Ow ow ow! So Azusa-senpai and Kanako's sister are friends?"

"Yup! We haven't seen each other in forever~ We used to be so close we'd even bathe together!"

"Yada~ Azusa, that sounds so lewd~"

"..."

Welp.

Judging by how Kanako's sister reacted just now, Kamishiro figured—she wasn't some harmless character either.

But why… Why did she look so familiar?

Kamishiro couldn't help but study Kanako's sister more carefully. Even through the heavy makeup, he was sure he'd seen her somewhere before…