Naruto: I, Uchiha, Just Want to Die

Chapter 165: Obito: You Became a Jonin?!

Land of Fire, Konoha Main Camp.

Inside a specially designated medical tent.

Uchiha Ci opened his eyes.

What he saw first was the deep green canvas ceiling above him.

What he smelled was the thick scent of blood, intensified as sunlight filtered into the tent.

What he heard was a medley of sounds from outside—hammering, wood being sawed, and voices he found annoyingly familiar.

"Three of a kind!"

"Full house!"

"Kakashi, is that how you play?!"

"Hey, it's three of a kind!"

"What's the problem? I only have one card left."

"As expected of my eternal rival, Kakashi! Fine, 500 push-ups! If I can't do them, I'll run around the camp 20 times!"

"Ahhhh! You idiot, why didn't you counter his move?!"

Listening to this, Uchiha Ci suddenly sat up, his eyebrows twitching in disbelief.

What in the world is this absurd scene straight out of a parody? He didn't even need to look to know it was Obito, Kakashi, and Might Guy.

The real question was: why were these three here on the battlefield in the Land of Rain?

And why the heck were they playing cards?!

"Ah, you're awake!"

A girl with short brown hair, purple facial markings, and a bright smile approached with a tray in hand. She was dressed in a long-sleeved black shirt, a light pink skirt paired with leggings, and a red bracelet on her wrist. Her presence seemed warm and sunny.

On the wooden tray were modern-looking medical tools—bandages, a stethoscope, a blood pressure monitor, scissors, and ointments. She was clearly here to change his dressings.

Only then did Uchiha Ci notice the aching all over his body, as though he'd just run ten consecutive marathons. Even his organs seemed to be complaining.

But that didn't matter.

As he looked at the girl, his eyebrow arched slightly.

Wasn't this Obito's secret crush, Nohara Rin?

Rin walked over and placed the tray on the bedside cabinet beside him.

Then she leaned her head out of the tent and called out, "Obito, your friend is awake!~"

The moment she spoke, there was a commotion outside.

"Eh?! Rin's calling me! But I haven't played my card yet—this is a loss!"

Soon, a boy with a Tom-like grin, sunglasses, and a Konoha headband came bursting into the tent. He wore a sporty jacket, deep blue pants with a tool pouch strapped to his thigh, and an overexcited expression.

"Rin, thank you so much!"

Without even glancing at the bedridden Uchiha Ci, Obito immediately grabbed Rin's hand, his tone overly enthusiastic.

"Hehe, if not for you, Ci wouldn't have recovered so fast!"

"How's it been lately? Is working in the medical team tough?"

Uchiha Ci was speechless. Even Rin seemed a bit overwhelmed by his enthusiasm, though she managed a gentle smile.

"Obito, you should check on your friend. I've got other duties to attend to~"

With that, Rin picked up her tray and trotted out of the tent, peeking around as if searching for a certain white-haired figure.

Obito stood frozen, crestfallen like a statue, unable to move on from her departure. It wasn't until her silhouette vanished that he scratched his head, suddenly remembering the reason he had come.

When the two Uchiha locked eyes, the tent became so awkwardly silent it could have made someone curl their toes in discomfort.

Eventually, Uchiha Ci broke the silence, his face impassive as he looked at Obito.

"Obito, you didn't come here to check on me."

"Let me give you some advice—give up on that one-sided love already. It's going nowhere."

Obito coughed twice, pretending not to hear as he burst into laughter and walked closer. He slapped Ci on the shoulder with a proud grin, pointed to his own headband, and said smugly:

"Ci, you're in no position to lecture me right now!"

"So what if you've done hundreds of D-rank missions? I, Uchiha Obito, just led a team on a B-rank mission!"

"You can't imagine the intensity of escorting critical supplies through enemy territory, always on guard against Sand ninja ambushes in the smoky battlefield."

"Impressive, right? If I keep this up, I'll become a Chunin, then a Jonin, unlock my Sharingan to three tomoe—and finally become the greatest Fifth Hokage Konoha has ever seen!"

Uchiha Ci stared at Obito, speechless.

So, you're just here to brag?

He wanted to retort that he'd just finished soloing 300 Sand ninja, fought an elite Kage-level opponent, and then teamed up with Minato Namikaze to take down the commander of the Sand forces.

But who would believe that? It'd sound like pure fantasy, and Obito would just think he was bluffing.

Instead, Ci decided to switch tactics, catching a flaw in Obito's words.

"Hmm, Obito, if I remember correctly, B-rank missions are for Chunin and above. Isn't Kakashi the only Chunin on your team?"

"So, it was actually Kakashi leading the mission, and you were just along for the ride?"

"Were you... just a filler?"

Obito's exaggerated grin froze instantly.

Sweat began pouring down his forehead as he hastily peeled an apple and shoved it into Ci's mouth to cut him off.

"Alright, stop talking already!"

"So what if I'm not a Chunin yet? Once I unlock these eyes, I'll surpass that arrogant white-haired guy and become a Jonin before him!"

Obito puffed up with pride, pointing at his large, hopeful eyes with his thumb.

Just then—

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed from outside the tent.

The entrance flap was suddenly pulled aside, revealing a young man in dark sunglasses and a black cloak, alongside another wearing a deerskin coat with spiky pineapple-like hair.

Obito glanced up and froze in shock.

He didn't recognize the one in sunglasses, but the spiky-haired man was unmistakably Nara Shikaku, the camp strategist who assigned missions.

Obito was just about to approach and greet him in hopes of getting assigned an even cooler mission.

However, Shikaku ignored him entirely, turning instead to Uchiha Ci with a solemn expression.

"Uchiha Ci," he said gravely.

"Come with us. It's time to conduct your Jonin promotion ceremony."