Naruto: Paradise for One [R-18]

Saul looked to his side, hands still in the cross seal of the Shadow Clone Jutsu. Hmm, I feel different... It was as if his entire body was covered in silk. The air felt... Cold. He could feel it moving against his clothes, his skin. His chakra, it felt different. It flowed through his veins and crawled on his skin.

His body shifted. It was unstable. It felt like the weightlessness of falling from the sky. The feeling was thrilling, but the crash was inevitable. The moment he stopped consciously pumping, he knew it. That would be it. 

"This took you two hours huh?" The original glanced at Naruto, smirking. 

Pretentious. The clone thought. He already practiced the jutsu for much longer than Naruto. Then he's only able to do it after he gets the guy's help. What's the point of showing off? To satisfy his little ego?

The thought of death so near made him numb to such trivial things. Yet, would it really be death? And how would this experience be remembered? 

He watched calmly as the original made the seal to dispel the jutsu. So this-

-is how it ends... Huh? He had just been talking to Naruto, but it was like there were another set of memories in his head. When he remembered what happened earlier, he remembered everything clearly. Talking smugly to Naruto on one side while mocking himself on the other. Yet it was all him, all at once. Like remembering going to the grocery store while also playing games at the same time!

He decided from that point on it would be better to dispel himself rather than to let the original dispel him. That way he could cleanly end whatever train of thought he had at the time before returning.

Naruto smiled teasingly.

"Feels weird right? Hahaha! You looked so confused! See when I dispel my clones, I don't even flinch."

Why is that? Is it because you don't think much?

"And how many clones can you summon huh? I can summon hundreds! Bet you can't beat that!"

God. He loves to run his mouth. Knowing however that Naruto was just excited to finally have someone to talk to after so long, Saul let it slide.

He ran his fingers through the nearby Hinata's hair. Then he let his hand rest on her lower back.

"So, about Sakura." He paused, "Naruto, please try to take what I'm saying from an objective standpoint. These are my opinions and analysis, not necessarily facts. I'd encourage you to avoid taking offense from anything I'm about to say, but rather you would do well to learn for yourself what's true and what's false."

Naruto slowly nodded. He didn't quite get what Saul was trying to say, but he'd give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he'd already 'paid' for this.

"Sakura... Regarding men, she is a vain girl."

"What are you saying about Sakura-chan!!!"

Jeez... This guy, did Naruto even listen to what he said earlier!? It seemed Saul would have to avoid saying anything negative about Sakura outright.

"Naruto. Remember what I asked of you earlier. Let me finish..." 

Saul waited for Naruto to calm down and relax before he continued.

"Let me rephrase that. What Sakura looks for most in a man is outward appearance. On that point, Naruto, you've already lost from the starting line."

"But you said you could help me improve my relationship with Sakura-chan!"

Saul gave him the look, and Naruto realized his mistake and shut up again. Hinata was starting to visibly become uncomfortable. He rubbed her back soothingly.

"This is simple to fix. You're already very good at the transformation jutsu. Just make simple, small adjustments. To start with, try fading out your whisker lines, bit by bit, until they're barely noticeable. They make you look too animalistic."

Naruto obliged.

"Not too much, you don't want them to disappear completely! Yes, just like that. Now make your cheek bones a little more prominent, for a noble, regal feel. Mmm."

The two went on for a little while, changing lots of small, minor things. The shift in Naruto's appearance was small, subtle, but he was still Naruto.

"Very good! Next time we meet, I'll take you to get some proper clothing. Wearing an orange jumpsuit all the time is no good."

Naruto complained, "Hey, are you sure any of this will even work? It feels like a lot of non-sense for nothing! Plus, the clothing shop owner won't allow me to buy anything but tacky crap! He hates me because- ... For some reason."

Saul replied. "I'm sure you'll see an immediate difference as soon as you see Sakura next if you keep the transformation up. As for the clothing, well, I can get you some if you want!"

"Really!"

"Of course! Hinata, why don't you tell Naruto what you think of his new appearance? He looks better, right!"

Saul knew this was mean, but he wouldn't allow the girl to have any lingering feelings. It was better she cut off anything that was left by herself.

Hinata was fidgeting around by this point, but she composed herself and responded nevertheless.

"Better, Naruto-san. If what Saul-kun said is true, she might truly switch over to you instead!"

Hoh? There was some venom in her tone! Saul liked the veiled insult towards Sakura - for Hinata that was already pretty far.

"Right?" Naruto didn't notice anything, already on cloud nine.

Saul pushed it a little further, "After all, you wouldn't have done all of this if it wasn't for Sakura-san. I'm sure she'll love it!"

Hinata sought his touch, nuzzling her head into him. Saul wrapped his hand around her shoulder.

Naruto, so excited he couldn't sit down anymore, got up and shouted! "Oh I can't wait! Any more tips, Saul-sensei?"

"One more thing. This is, by far, the most important part. You won't have a single chance if you don't follow this advice, so make absolutely sure you do this!"

Naruto nodded vigorously.

"Never, under any circumstance, let her hit you again! Subdue her if she tries! If you allow Sakura to abuse you as she wishes, she will never ever see you as a man. Do you understand me!?"

"B-but... I can't hurt Sakura-chan... It's not like I can't take the hits..."

Saul shook his head. "It's not about hurting her; it's about stopping her from physically hitting you. Subdue her in any manner you wish, whether it be restraining her with your fists or with your words, it's all the same."

Naruto still looked unconvinced, so Saul switched his angle for a bit.

"Naruto, do you have a pet?"

"A pet? What are you trying to say?"

"Humor me for a bit."

"...Kiba used to allow me to hang out with Akamaru..."

"I see. Did he treat Akamaru well?" 

"Yes! Kiba has Akamaru hang out in his hoodie all the time. He gives him plenty of treats; Akamaru loves treats!"

Saul continued, "Does he discipline Akamaru?"

Even Naruto started to see where Saul was going with this. He replied, scratching his cheek nervously, "...Yeah. If Akamaru did something he thought was wrong..." He paused, realizing Sakura was the exact same with him, before hurriedly defending her behavior, "But Sakura-chan doesn't love me like Kiba does Akamaru! It's not the same!"

"So what you've just argued to me is that to Sakura, you're worse than a dog."

Naruto flinched.

Saul raised his voice angrily, "You are not just some animal to be beaten upon a whim, Naruto! If she's not treating you like a human in the first place, how can she even think of you as boyfriend material!?" 

The frustration of watching Naruto being so stupid in two lifetimes must have gotten to him a little bit. However, Naruto seemed to finally get it after being yelled at. He was so conflicted, the feelings of his longtime crush clashing with the truth he always tried to ignore. But somewhere deep down in his heart he decided. If Sakura couldn't respect him as a person, she wasn't worth it anymore.

"...I get it."

Saul released Hinata and got up. He walked up to Naruto and patted the man on his shoulder.

"Good luck. Man to man - even if you have no one else - I've got your back. Do you feel me?"

Naruto sniffled, tears in his eyes. "Yes, Saul-sensei!"

Author's Note: Alright, Naruto really needed that. I hope you guys enjoyed it - more ch to come tomorrow!