Naruto: Tsunade's Twin Brother

"Sage Mode?!"

Covering his mouth, Jiraiya's eyes widened as he realised what he just said.

"N-no guys, it was a slip of the tongue, I really just meant to say, uh, a new jutsu!"

Waving his hands hurriedly, he quickly refuted his own words, but the damage was already done. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Sage Mode wasn't exactly a state secret hidden from the public. In fact, only the civilians were kept in the dark about this, it was just that most ninja did not spend effort in finding out the truths of this special mode.

Orochimaru and Tsunade knowing about it was mainly due to their connection to the Hokage, allowing them free access to most archives and records, especially so with their jonin status. Akira was a given, with his metaknowledge. Even if he forgot the minor plots, Sage Mode was the one thing he would remember.

What surprised the two was different from Akira's - in reality, he was shocked at the faster progression of Jiraiya's growth.

Despite his various denials and excuses, the three eventually cornered the panicking and sweating white-haired boy who was the unfortunate Jiraiya.

They were not unfamiliar with the summoning creatures of their world. Each had their own contract with one of the Three Holy Lands - Mount Myoboku, Shikkotsu Forest and Ryuchi Cave - and had shocked the shinobi world during the First War.

Both Akira and Tsunade had signed a blood pact with the slugs of Shikkotsu forest, and they had done so quite easily and smoothly, all thanks to their grandfather Hashirama's previous contract with them. For the other two shinobi, they were less unfortunate. 

While Hiruzen Sarutobi, their teacher, did have a contract with a summoning, it was not with the Holy Lands. So, they had to fight tooth and claw for the scroll itself. 

The toads and Myoboku were far more compliant and allowed Jiraiya as their new master after a show of strength. Orochimaru was most likely the least fortunate. Snakes from the cave were treacherous and sly, for they did not even obey their master. 

These snakes were sort of like the Uchiha clan, only respecting power, so after Orochimaru only defeated the 'final boss' did they allow him have the contract sealed and signed.

Now, they knew that this Sage Mode Jiraiya was talking about could only be learned from the toads. 

"Alright, alright!" Jiraiya grumbled under his breath while Akira and Tsunade glared at him with cold eyes and Orochimaru stared at him with what could be only described as the mad-curious eyes of a scientist.

"Ma and Pa from Mount Myoboku are teaching me that ahead of time..."

After extreme reluctance and a few more cold stares Jiraiya continued, if only to satiate their anger.

"...they said that they were originally going to teach me when I was 'ready' but apparently time is running out."

'Ah, so they pushed the schedule up.' A smile was finally brought to Akira's lips, but not a warm and sunny grin.

'It seems like I'll have to stop slacking off. Time to go beg Katsuyu-sama for Sage Mode as well.'

At this period of time, Akira could be considered as talented as they come, but he was already sixteen. At sixteen or so, the future Naruto and Sasuke would have KCM, perfect Sage Mode, Flying Raijin, unlocked Indra and Ashura chakra, Rasenshuriken, EMS, Rinnegan, Full-body Susanoo, the list goes on and on.

"Humph, I doubt you'd be able to learn that in ten years." 

Tsunade huffed and finally let go of the pinned down Jiraiya, which Akira did too in perfect synch. The twin telepathy is real. 

"Jiraiya, I think you'd better stick to gaining more chakra. With the levels your at, learning Sage Mode would be a futile dream even after a century." Akira gave a sweet smile and effectively crushed all hopes of his.

Deflated and humiliated, he could only nod along, trying to avoid another painful beating session the Senju twins gave him daily. 

Jiraiya signed up for the daily package, not the hourly pack! 

"Hey..."

Orochimaru, ever the silent and observing one, suddenly spoke up, drawing their attention to him.

"Do you ever wonder..."

Everyone perked up, wondering what deep thoughts the usually silent and deadly boy was about to share.

"If we had thirteen months instead of twelve, every month would have twenty-eight days," he tilted his head up, as if pondering something beyond the human brain's capabilities, "And the first day of each month would be a Monday, and the last would be a Friday."

Akira blinked once. Tsunade blinked once. Jiraiya blinked once.

Then all three faceplanted into the academy's marble tiles simitalously. 

Raising one finger weakly with his face still stuck on the cold floor, Akira asked hesitatingly, like he was scared of the answer.

"Orochimaru? Has anyone ever told you, that your thoughts are really weird?"

He blinked as well.

"Well, not really. Do you think they're weird?"

"Honestly? And when I say this, I think I speak for everyone. Yes."

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A few hours later, after the academy visit filled with nostalgia, judgemental looks, and one-sided brawls, the future sanin + Akira took their day off to catch up with each other.

Akira laughed. A real laugh. Something he haven't had the luxury of enjoying lately. Sure, he have been with Ozawa and Sakumo on missions, but even that didn't feel like this. Here, he could just relax, and forget about the chaotic future consisting solely of plotholes and deaths.

Soon, after being punted around and doing so to others a while, they all were tired and hungry from the banter and play fights everyone joined in on - even Orochimaru.

They decided unanimously who would be cooking tonight.

Unsurprisingly, Jiraiya's and Tsunade's culinary skills were no worse than of a blind, deaf and noseless rabbit. At least they could taste the dish afterwards, but their taste buds were NOT to be trusted. Seriously. 

Orochimaru's skills were decent, but he lacked the proper tastebuds to actually realise what was wrong with his food as well. 

So the only reasonable option left was poor Akira, who was forced to become their adoptive mother and cook their meals on every outing. It was just his luck that years of trying to make the food at least presentable and edible paid off, and now he was stuck as the nanny of three overgrown children. 

Sigh.

Looking back at the the three sitting happily on the table with gleaming eyes and drool coming out, Akira questioned himself if his cooking was just that good or their own skills were just lacking too far back.

Tying a pink apron around his waist, he activated househusband mode and got down to business.

Like a three-star Michelin chef, Akira expertly diced and sliced several wild onions, garlics, and other spices in perfect rhythm, washing bowls of vegetables somehow almost at the same time. He could have used a few shadow clones to speed up the process even more, but his 'children' wouldn't approve.

A sweet and savoury aroma wafted from the kitchen to the dining room, where Team 7 was sitting eagerly in their chairs. More drool slipped out of their mouths as their eyes became even more dreamy.

"Eh, hime, what do you think he is making this time?" 

Jiraiya raised the question to the up-right Tsunade who was already leaning towards the source of the smell.

"I don't know, I've never smelt this before - maybe it's a new dish?"

By now, Tsunade has memorised all the different scents of the delicious meals Akira had made for them.

Each one served was different from anything they've ever tasted before. A staggering amount of food that was considered a daily meal for people on Earth were brand new concepts to this world.

Akira could easily make a best-selling restaurant with all these ideas. He could present a plate of french toast as breakfast and Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru would huddle around it with wide and hungry eyes.

Opening the fridge (yes, technology in this world is complicated), he saw that there was no tomatoes left. 

He snapped his fingers and a shadow clone appeared with the instructions already registered in his mind. The clone disappeared with a body flicker and some money, its destination the night market.

An easy fix.

Everything was almost prepared. Now he just had to wait for the tomatoes and then all he needed was to put everything together.

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.

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"Dinner is ready!"

Everyone leaned forward in anticipation when Akira called out from the kitchen, holding a platter.

When it was set down onto the centre of the table, it revealed to be a mouth-watering, delectable, scrumptious...

...plate of lasagna? 

But to the three whom the dish was served to, it was a delicacy that they were honoured to be the first to taste.

Literally anything that was normal on Earth could be called a miracle in this household.

As expected of these large-eaters, the entire casserole dish was emptied out, no crumbs remaining.

Tsunade looked as if she even wanted seconds.

The rest of the day ended in a goodbye and a nice peaceful sleep for a change.

Morning came sooner than expected, and Akira finally got his well deserved night of good rest.

And then he was called to the Hokage's office for a A-rank mission.

Again.

But hey, he wasn't complaining. 

Outwardly anyways.

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Words ~ 1570

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