NGNL: Can't humans do that

Couronne celebration plan disappeared at the bud.

"... Then, was Ivan's sacrifice worthwhile?", Su'er asked distressedly.

"Ah, of course", the trembling in his voice had reached the point where it could not be concealed at all, and Riku replied calmly: "We got the latest map of the Dwarf and the current power distribution map... Ivan's death is undoubtedly valuable."

"Really?", not knowing how to face it, Su'er just murmured softly, "That's good..."

This way, we can avoid the battlefield where those inhuman races are fighting.

But, Marta will be sad, right? And Nonna...

Ivan is Marta's husband and Nonna father.

How sad will they be at this moment?

Su'er guessed blankly.

"If you have time, then go and comfort Nonna... You have a good relationship with her." In the darkness, Riku could be heard walking out, and the man's words came, "I'm tired, I'll go to rest first."

There was no answer, and the two people who were equally tired because of different things said goodbye silently until the moment when Riku was about to walk out of the wooden door.

"Hey, Riku," Su'er called Riku name in a listless voice.

"...Is there anything else?" Riku hand on the door stopped.

"Things? Well, it's kind of like that," Su'er chewed every word, "It's just a little curiosity?"

"I just suddenly want to know, Riku, what kind of feeling is it every time you order them to die?"

Su'er voice echoed in this cold cave, but it couldn't arouse the slightest echo.

"I can't stand it anymore...Riku..."

Su'er murmured.

"Have you ever been afraid? When you wake up in the middle of the night, you are afraid that one day it will be your turn to be ordered to die..."

"They can even be regarded as indirectly dying in our hands, and we are the murderers..."

"I am so scared... Really so scared..."

Su'er low and whispering voice is like a spell Surounding the dead air.

What beautiful words like adapting to this world and learning to Survive in this cruel world are just lies to deceive yourself.

Every time you order others to use their lives to open up a way of Survival for the rest of the people, you silently emphasize to yourself in your Heart-when it is your turn, you can also die calmly. Everyone is like this. This is the most noble thing that everyone agrees on. They are just one step ahead.

But now Su'er has realized that this is just a poor psychological suggestion. He is incompetently deceiving himself and those who believe in him.

If the Heart does not become tough, it cannot Survive, like a Heart of steel.

Su'er once thought he could do it - and he did it. Even if it was just a moment of courage, he still instinctively chose to stay in front of the white-haired Werebeast and create a way out for the rest of the people, but everything was different after returning from the bloody battlefield like a meat grinder.

He was afraid, afraid to face such danger alone again and take the initiative to sacrifice his life.

His legs were trembling, and he couldn't even breathe steadily. Just thinking back to that feeling was enough to break a person - this was the second time the butcher knife was swung at him.

Right in front of Su'er, such a choice was like a boulder bigger than a mountain standing here.

Just in front of him alone.

"...Maybe."

Rustles, Riku wanted to shout out loud for a moment, to release all his emotions, all his regrets and guilt, all his cowardice and depravity to the man behind him - but in the end, he could only give such a vague answer.

Even his lips were shaking uncontrollably.

And anger.

Such things are forbidden, such responsibilities cannot be shared, so...it's enough to bury them all in your Heart.

"I don't have the right to talk about the dead," Riku said slowly in a depressed voice, just like the most old-fashioned and silent ascetic: "After all, I... am just a coward."

A coward who can say words to let people die, but dare not kill anyone with his own hands.

"Really?", but Su'er voice was a little more relaxed, "So, Riku, why do you think we should live... even in such a world?"

"Who knows? But don't die without a reason to die." Riku had already opened the door and was walking out, "In such a world, if the value of dying is not high enough... then wouldn't it be a big loss?"

The wooden door was closed with force, and Su'er was the only one left in the cave.

"In other words... meaning?"

Su'er muttered to himself.

——————————————

The ore that was emitting orange light suddenly flashed, as if it would dim in the next second, it had been burning for too long.

But this subtle change was obvious enough for the figure in front of the table. Finally waking up from his meditation, the man in front of the table picked up the small pot of water from his feet and poured it into the plate. Soon, this beautiful ore once again emitted a stable and bright light.

If Couronne were here, she would definitely be happy, right?

She was finally satisfied to see that Su'er room was no longer dark, and the cave finally had a bit of human habitation again.

Su'er put down the kettle and picked up the animal skin in front of him. He carefully checked it in the bright light. The back of the animal skin was almost covered with dense words, but it was not finished yet.

Because of long-term thinking, his head was a little dizzy, and even the speed of thinking seemed to slow down.

Knock knock.

There was a sudden knock on the door. When Su'er turned his head alertly, he saw that the wooden door had been pushed open. A small figure was standing there, only half of his body was exposed, and the little face half covered by blue-purple hair looked around the cave timidly. When he saw Su'er, he subconsciously showed a happy smile, but restrained it the next moment.

"Brother Su'er?"

"...It's Nonna." Recognizing who was knocking on the door, Su'er put the animal skin aside for the time being and said with a smile: "What's the matter? Children have to go to bed early at night."