No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 78

EP.78 The Saintess and the Knight (2)

"Alright, let's think about this."

"……."

As I sat up and looked directly at Ria, she made a face like she couldn't believe what I was saying, but she quickly adjusted her posture and sat properly.

Now, we were sitting cross-legged, facing each other on my bed. And in the dark, no less.

Well, it didn’t really matter. I could see Ria just fine.

"Ria, I'm not just someone you protect."

"…Is that so?"

"I, know how to shoot a gun?"

Hah.

Ria let out an incredulous breath at my question, and hearing that, even I found it ridiculous.

"What? Ria, you told me I wasn’t completely talentless, didn’t you?"

"You're not talentless, but knowing how to shoot a gun doesn't mean you're not still someone who needs protection."

Ria crossed her arms.

Good.

At least her attitude was back to normal. I’d take that as a positive sign.

"If you were carrying me and running—what?"

I stopped mid-sentence when I noticed Ria flinch again. Her lips trembled slightly, and her eyebrows twitched.

…She’s about to burst out laughing, isn’t she?

If not, then she’d have to be so embarrassed that she could die on the spot. But considering the situation, there was no reason for her to be making that kind of face.

"A-Ah, it’s nothing! Just keep talking!"

Her voice was shaking.

"What is it? If you’ve got something to say, just say it. Or are you about to tell me my shooting was so useless?"

"No, it's not that."

…Then why the sudden serious face?

Ria wasn’t usually this expressive—at least, not to the point where her emotions changed like a moody teenager.

"Really? So, you're saying it wasn’t completely useless?"

"Uh, well… let’s just say there's… room for improvement?"

For some reason, Ria sounded oddly hesitant.

"Well then, isn’t that enough?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, I’m not saying I’ll ever be a major force in battle, but at the very least, I can handle a couple of approaching enemies. And as long as I’m fighting monsters, the divine power I receive can be used as an effective weapon."

"……."

"I have no intention of being dead weight."

"…I never thought that."

"But I feel like I am."

I leaned slightly forward, resting a hand on the bed, and stared straight at Ria. She flinched slightly, her upper body leaning back, and her eyes darted around in mild panic.

"I don’t want to be dragged around helplessly, doing nothing while putting you in danger."

That’s the truth.

Ria is my friend. Maybe even the first real friend I made after coming to this world.

She’s the only one who doesn’t run away when I say something annoying, the only one who fires back at me without hesitation. The only one who treats me as an equal, regardless of my status.

……

And more than that, I don’t want Ria to die.

I don’t want anyone dying because of me.

And I definitely don’t want anyone treating death like it’s something normal.

"People who fight in the front lines… they all say the same thing."

I hadn’t seen it firsthand. The world I used to live in—at least, the country I was born in—wasn't a place where people were expected to risk their lives like that.

…That doesn’t mean such people didn’t exist. It doesn’t mean their sacrifices weren’t noble. And it’s not like I could stop them all.

I’d like to believe I’m not the kind of person who could dismiss the death of someone who lost their life trying to save others—whether in a traffic accident or a fire. So I don’t want anyone saying they’ll die because of me.

Even in a world where young people barely past adulthood throw themselves into battle, becoming hunters, risking their lives as if it were normal…

Even in a world where people fight to protect what lies beyond, to make money, to achieve greater success…

I don’t want to be the reason for someone’s sacrifice.

That’s not what I want.

And if that someone is my friend—

…If that someone is Ria, then I absolutely don’t want it.

"Ria."

I looked her straight in the eye, making sure my voice carried weight.

"If you're my knight, then what am I to you?"

"……."

"Am I just a burden to be protected? Or a weapon to be used when necessary?"

Ria shook her head. For the first time, she looked taken aback, as if overwhelmed by my words. But I took no satisfaction in that.

This wasn’t a battle I wanted to win.

"If it’s neither of those things… if we haven’t defined that yet… then I want to be your comrade. Not someone you sacrifice yourself for, but someone who stands beside you. Someone who helps you, just as you help me. A friend."

"……."

Ria blinked.

"Would you hate that?"

For a moment, she said nothing. Then, finally, she spoke.

"…No. I wouldn’t."

At that, I smiled softly.

"Then let’s make it that way."

Ria hesitated for a second, then gave a small nod.

*

Deep into the night.

Maybe the exhaustion from earlier finally caught up with her, because as soon as their conversation ended and Anna lay down, she fell asleep instantly.

Given how she usually collapsed after using her divine power, the fact that she lasted this long was impressive, Chae-eun thought.

Listening to Anna’s steady, rhythmic breathing, Chae-eun found herself lost in thought.

She recalled Anna’s words.

Not just a burden. Not just someone to be protected.

But a comrade—someone to rely on.

"……."

Until now, what had Chae-eun really thought of Anna?

Even when she asked herself, the answer didn’t come easily.

It was a feeling too complex to sum up in a single word.

A friend.

That was true. Chae-eun thought of Anna as a friend as well—someone precious to her.

It wasn’t as if Chae-eun had never had friends before. Among them, some could even be considered her equals. Friends who, like her, had hero parents. Friends who had been training as hunters since childhood, already standing out among the rest.

But none of them were like Anna.

Why was that?

It was because she had never met anyone like Anna before.

Someone who wanted to save people without expecting anything in return.

Someone whose goal wasn’t to rise higher with their abilities, but simply to live an ordinary life.

And the most baffling part?

Anna had all the qualifications to climb as high as she wanted—but still, she chose otherwise.

Now, Chae-eun was starting to understand why.

And that understanding terrified her.

She wanted to break down these tangled emotions, piece by piece.

Why did she feel so strangely flustered when she looked at Anna?

Was it really just religious awe?

Or was it something else entirely?

She wanted to find out.

But—what if?

What if Anna, in the end, fully accepted her role?

What if that role led her down a path of self-sacrifice?

What if, before Chae-eun could even grasp the truth of her own emotions—Anna was already gone?

"…An equal, huh."

Was that really possible?

Would Anna leave her behind, moving forward alone?

Would she disappear, riding that light that descended from the heavens?

Just like her mother once did—sacrificing herself for others.

"……."

Once, she had saved her. Ria buried her face in her hands. Anna didn’t know how she had been saved. She thought Ria had simply crushed some chocolate and fed it to her.

At that thought, all the complicated emotions from earlier faded away.

In the end, Chae-eun couldn’t fall asleep right away. She tossed and turned for what felt like ages before finally drifting off.

It was nothing short of divine protection that Anna hadn’t woken up in the meantime.

…Or maybe, it was just luck.

Only after the fact did Ria realize that her thoughts had completely veered away from Anna.

*

One of the most annoying things about this body was how, every time I tried to think something through, light would start descending from the sky.

Even indoors, it didn’t seem to make a difference.

It was already frustrating enough that I had so much on my mind after yesterday.

Everyone was still talking about what had happened. And as if rejecting it even once had triggered something, that light had been coming down at the most ridiculous times ever since.

It was seriously getting out of hand.

……

Well, I guess it was inevitable.

I had already decided to accept my position, and if necessary, to use this power.

It was too late to start rejecting divine power now.

Of all times, that thought hit me right in the middle of breakfast—surrounded by knights, hunters, bureaucrats, and even the representatives from the Gnome faction.

And, of course, that’s when the light descended over my head. At this point, even waving it away felt like too much effort—just as I was thinking that…

Whoosh, whoosh.

Ria waved her hand over my head.

The light that had been descending instantly evaporated into thin air, disappearing like smoke.

"……."

Should I be saying thanks—?

No, wait a second.

I turned to Ria.

She went right back to eating, completely unfazed—

No, that wasn’t the important part.

Did she just wave away the light with her hand?

Until now, the only person who had ever been able to do that was me…