NOVEL ONLINE FREE Ch. 5
Said he was out for food, but Guan Ren actually just wanted to get back to the classroom earlier, so he only bought a few things to fill his stomach.
A box of You Suan Ru yogurt.
Two hamburger buns.
That was already quite a spread.
He also bought a pack of Lang Weixian snacks, but not for himself—it was a bribe.
……
“Here, Brother Chi.”
“Yo? So considerate?”
As the saying goes, let the professionals handle the professional stuff.
And when it came to online novels from 2011, who was the most professional?
At least around Guan Ren, there was only one answer—Zhang Chi.
So the moment he returned to the classroom, Guan Ren tossed the Lang Weixian onto Zhang Chi’s desk, who had just come back from surfing the web.
“Brother Chi, I’ve been thinking of reading some novels lately. Got any recommendations?”
“Of course, bro! I got you!”
Zhang Chi had just been yawning. Today’s new chapter was badly written by the worthless author. But once Guan Ren asked, he perked right up.
“Brother Ren, what genre are you into?”
“I… uh…”
Guan Ren instinctively recalled what his female boss in his past life used to say about him.
“I guess I’m the warm guy type.”
“?”
Zhang Chi didn’t get it.
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean? I’m asking what kind of novels you want, not your horoscope.”
“I’m good with anything.”
“Got it! Let me show you the goods!”
Guan Ren casually grabbed a textbook from the desk, tore a corner off the flyleaf with a loud crack, and handed it to Zhang Chi.
Then he rummaged through his desk drawer. Though he didn’t find a full pen, he did manage to dig out a half-used ink refill.
He scribbled a bit. Faint black lines showed it still worked. So he passed it along too.
Zhang Chi didn’t miss a beat. Displaying the professional finesse of a seasoned bookworm, he quickly wrote up a reading list for Guan Ren.
“Super Gorgeous CEO… Urban Romances… Gynecologist of the MMORPG World… Golden Scales Are Not...”
???
What kind of degenerate stuff was this guy reading?
This was some next-level weird.
“Brother Chi, what the hell is this crap? It’s way too… niche!”
“You said you were down for anything! The niche stuff is where the real gems are!”²
Zhang Chi wore an expression of smug clarity among fools.
“Aren’t you sick of all those cultivation and monster-slaying stories? I recently discovered this kind of novel is the real deal! Brother Guan, just read it. You’ll be giggling under the covers at night! Oh, and...”
He added another title to the list.
“Here’s another banger. The male lead plays the piano, and in the end, he literally ‘plays’ the villainess to death. Tsk tsk, absolutely scandalous!”
Guan Ren’s mouth twitched. He didn’t even have to look to know which book it was.
“Brother Chi, tone it down. Books like that aren’t going to last. Like that piano one. The author’s already trying to turn over a new leaf. Might even go green and encourage the whole industry to do the same once he hits it big.”
“Pfft, not a chance.”
Zhang Chi scoffed.
“He made his money off this trash, you think he’d just cut it off? That’d be total scumbag behavior!”
“……”
Guan Ren didn’t want to comment further.
He thought this guy would have some profound insights, but all he read was smut. Guess he’d have to do the research himself.
“Brother Chi, lend me your phone.”
“I’m reading, go ask Liu Xiong.”
Liu Xiong was another member of the Liu, Guan, and Zhang — The Three Phantom Gods.
At this hour, most normal students—like Gu Youli—hadn’t returned yet.
But Liu Xiong, who treated snacks as dinner every day, had already come back with his stash of cookies and spicy sticks.
“Liu Xiong… Liu Xiong… Ah, there he is.”
Target acquired, Guan Ren braced one hand on his desk and the other on the desk behind him, then leapt over his fragrant deskmate’s chair.
Like a monkey, he bounced across chairs and desks from the fourth row to the first, where he slapped Liu Xiong’s bony back.
Smack!
“Brother Xiong.”
“!!”
Liu Xiong had just been munching on a pack of pickled pigskin. Already hunched over, the slap contorted his whole body, and after writhing in pain, he grabbed a book and smacked Guan Ren on the head.
“You bastard! You f%#￥@#…”
“Alright, alright, no need to be dramatic, you weakling.”
Guan Ren shrugged and effortlessly blocked the swing—young reflexes at their finest.
“Brother Xiong, let me borrow your phone.”
“What are you talking about?”
Liu Xiong glanced around warily.
“I don’t even own a phone, where’d a call come from?”
“Cut the crap. I’m doing something serious.”
Liu Xiong had just gotten a phone confiscated by Ms. Li last week, so he had to be cautious.
After double-checking the coast was clear, he reached for his pocket.
“When do I get it back?”
“Night study…”
Guan Ren paused.
“…Second period…”
Another pause.
“…After class.”
“Damn it, how am I supposed to survive night study?”
“Try studying for once?”
“Get lost.”
In the end, after much back-and-forth, Guan Ren found a copy of Story Digest from Zhang Chi’s desk and tossed it in front of Liu Xiong.
“Read this tonight.”
Chewing his pigskin, Liu Xiong flipped through it and shook his head dramatically.
“Officer Guan, you’re sus.”
“Speak English.”
“Read it already.”
No choice, Guan Ren dug out another Legends of Past and Present, one even from 2008. Only then did Liu Xiong hand over his phone.
“……”
But once Guan Ren got it, he frowned.
A 3.5-inch mega touchscreen dual-SIM voice-call king…
Don’t tell him this thing was still on 2G?
“Hell no! I just upgraded to 3G, don’t give it back.”
“Alright, alright…”
Back at his seat, Guan Ren found that despite not using one of these in ages, muscle memory kicked in.
A few tries—long press on the hang-up key, or confirm + asterisk combo—and he unlocked it.
He found the UC Browser in the JAVA apps list. Munching on his bun and sipping yogurt, he used the blue-on-white WAP webpage to browse rankings across major online novel platforms in recent years.
---
The gap between the afternoon dismissal and night study always felt short.
Guan Ren felt like he’d barely started browsing—hadn’t even finished his bun—when the classroom was already nearly full.
Including his deskmate, Gu Youli.
“Sister Gu! When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
She startled him a bit. If not for the faint scent from their lunch still lingering, he wouldn’t have noticed she’d arrived at all.
She walked without making a sound. Was his deskmate secretly part cat?
Looking around again, Guan Ren noticed the other students were all laughing, goofing off, or reading some random books. Only Gu Youli was sitting there prim and proper, flipping through a test paper in perfect form, her slightly thin back held straight as a rod.
“……”
His deskmate always acted very well-mannered, but Guan Ren couldn’t help feeling...
How should he put it...
Sometimes, she seemed a little too well-mannered.
Like the kind of elegant daughter raised in a rich family.
Was Gu Youli from a rich family?
As far as Guan Ren knew, definitely not. Gu Youli came from a regular teacher’s household—not rich, not poor.
To raise a girl with this kind of refined air, her family, Ms. Gu probably ran a very tight ship.
“Guan Ren.”
Just as Guan Ren was zoning out, staring at his deskmate’s delicate, pink ears, Gu Youli couldn’t help turning her head, watching the classmate known for “early dating issues” with wary eyes.
“Is there something on my face?”
Guan Ren nodded.
“There is.”
“?”
Huh? Really?
Gu Youli blinked in surprise.
Guan Ren pulled a small, palm-sized folding mirror from his desk drawer, opened it, and placed it in front of Gu Youli.
“See for yourself.”
She looked.
In the mirror, her petite face was as pale, soft, and beautiful as always—nothing out of the ordinary.
“Can’t see it?”
Guan Ren took the mirror back, then grabbed a marker and began doodling on its surface.
“……”
Gu Youli started to wonder if her deskmate was playing some kind of prank.
But curiosity kept her from looking away. She wanted to see exactly what kind of nonsense he was up to.
“Alright, take another look.”
Soon, Guan Ren placed the mirror back in front of her.
This time, when Gu Youli looked again, she was startled to find that her originally pretty face in the reflection was now perfectly aligned with a sad, downturned crying face drawn on the glass.
“This is the real you.”
“……”
Gu Youli’s gaze trembled slightly.
“Not a good look, right?”
Guan Ren leaned in mischievously.
“You might keep a poker face, but eyes speak the truth. I saw it. What’s wrong? Got something on your mind?”
Gu Youli pursed her soft lips. In her mind surfaced the image of her older sister, the dinner scene from earlier, and a long string of similar conversations over the years. Her fingers clenched slightly around the test paper.
“No…”
But it wasn’t really “no.”
Guan Ren wasn’t stupid.
It was just that, given their current relationship, he wasn’t in a position to dig too deep.
Nor could he, like some sunny boy from a TV drama, throw his arms wide and dramatically tell her to “smile more.”
Hmm...
Now that he thought about it—in this life or the last—Guan Ren couldn’t recall ever seeing Gu Youli smile…
A person, a girl, a beautiful girl, who never smiled.
Honestly, was that even reasonable?
He glanced at the two modest, serene “bundles” on her chest and decided—it wasn’t reasonable at all.
“Sister Gu, can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
Guan Ren had already asked a lot of math questions that afternoon, and Gu Youli supported her deskmate’s initiative.
But this time, his question wasn’t academic.
“Why doesn’t Doraemon have a neck?”
“?”
“Because he’s hygienic. He doesn’t want his blue neck to collect gunk.”
“……”
Gu Youli stared at him, expressionless.
Guan Ren chuckled to himself, but still found it baffling.
Not even that one?
Alright, round two.
“A mushroom was walking down the road and got bumped by an orange. The mushroom got angry and told the orange to go die. So the orange did. Why?”
“……”
“Because the fungus ordered the orange to die, so the orange had no choice but to comply.”
“Lame.”
Sister Gu delivered her sharp critique, then bowed her head and went back to her language test.
“…What happens when a butterfly gains weight? It turns into a fat-therfly!…”
“…What happens when you heat up a Wangwang rice cracker? It becomes a Wangwang lifting the blanket!…”
“…Do you know where Ultraman Tiga is? The Northeast! Because my Tiga is in the Northeast—on the Songhua River~…”
……
Lame.
Each one is lamer than the last.
Gu Youli really had no idea how many of these ridiculous jokes her deskmate had stored in his head.
This guy…
Really was quite rude.
First, rudely saw through her mood…
Then rudely tried to cheer her up with jokes…
……
Then again, whether it was sadness or gloom, weren’t those just minor scratches on the soul?
Those feelings—so long as you buried them deep enough—they’d eventually fade away.
That was how Gu Youli had always dealt with them, ever since she was a child.
All this time, there had never been anyone who would stick their nose in and care whether someone like her, who didn’t smile much to begin with, might actually need to be cheered up.
Not her teachers, not her classmates, not even her sister or the mother she barely saw.
Because even Gu Youli herself didn’t care.
Except…
Except…
For this strange deskmate called Guan Ren…
……
Hmm… Maybe she shouldn’t call him Guan Ren anymore.
“Weirdo” had a better ring to it.
Gu Youli grumbled silently to herself, listening to the “weirdo” ramble on beside her, while her pen glided over the paper with an unfamiliar ease.
Through a gently flicked strand of fine hair, her frosty side profile revealed a delicate dimple softly blooming…