Of Ice, Death & Monsters

Chapter 10: And It Is Doused By Endless Rain

I woke up on a field of grass that endlessly stretched out in every direction. Memories filled my head in a haze like mist over a sea. I saw visions of people I don’t know, places I’ve never been to, and events I’ve never witnessed.

Yet it felt like those were my memories, that it was my life that filled my head. However, there was one thing that stopped me from accepting those memories as mine: regret.

There was so much regret, so much pain, so much so that I began to cry for some reason. The tears dripped from my eyes to my cheeks as I quietly sobbed for something I don't even know that I did.

“Fufu~ it’s alright, there’s no reason to cry anymore~ they won’t reach you here.”

A voice called out to me as I looked to the right, where I heard it coming from. There I found… a fox?

They seemed to be radiant, glowing, and ephemeral, spirit-like, almost as if it pranced around without a care in the world, getting closer and closer to me. They were red and white, mixed in color like some kind of amalgam species.

It jumped on my chest and gently pawed my cheek. “Shh, it’s alright~ I just need you to answer a few questions for me.”

“W-wha? Questions what’s going-“

The fox placed its paw on my lips. “No, shh, I ask the questions here. Now then, the first one. The life you led right up before all this happened… How did it feel? Did you enjoy it? Hate it? Did you want more or less?”

“…” There was only one answer that I could give.

“More… I wanted more. I hated everything in it, and I deserved more than the hand I was given.”

“Oh?” The fox tilted its head. “I see. Would you want a second chance? A way to continue or even restart?”

They both sounded so wonderful at this point. It sounded straight out of a fairy tale. Was this it? My chance, my victory, so that I can finally go forth? Maybe I could get extra powers from this, too.

“Yes. I wish to get a second chance.”

I could almost swear that I saw the fox smile. It felt both creepy and, at the same time, reassuring, like it was actually trying to soothe me.

“Then I offer you a choice, would you rather start from scratch, throw away everything else you knew, your whole life before wouldn’t even be a faint memory. I cannot guarantee a good life, nor even a decent life. I can, however, guarantee that it would be far different than the life you led up to this point.”

Different, huh… that was good enough for me. This life was horrible, and I didn’t want to do it all over again. Even if this new life was just half as bad as my old life… I would never accept it.

“Or, I can allow you to continue this life. You didn’t exactly die; your body was completely and utterly destroyed, yes, but you’ve been transformed into a spirit, an ephemeral consciousness not bound by matter, and you would have become a mental being. Galfania can give you physicality, or something along the lines of it anyway. However, because of the Runes used to fully convert you, you’ve been given the opportunity to continue.”

“Is there a catch? Some kind of duty it wants from me?” I asked because this was all too familiar to me. I didn’t want to come under the thumb of another force, even if the force was some kind of strange esoteric spirit of the land.

“Nope. You were killed by flames that completely and utterly converted you to be part of Galfania. This is more or less a welcoming party for new beginnings. Effectively slain by not the land but by the people and reincarnated.”

“The… people? What does that mean? Like we were assassinated? We were targeted? By who? Why?” I tried to stand up, but the fox pushed my head back down with ease.

“Those questions you could find out if you choose to continue. Otherwise, it won’t matter at all if you simply reincarnated. However, you would only reincarnate within Galfania. What you will be, I cannot tell you. It will be different, that's for sure.”

I sighed. So that was my life now? A gamble? Either roll the dice or continue the save game. What good will that serve me? What good can it give me? I looked down at my hands for a moment, and something filled me more than ever before: regret.

There was so much regret. I wanted to do better, to do good. I thought my life would finally turn around, and yet here I was.

Yet… for some reason, there was something more to this regret. As if I had wronged somebody, as if I felt like I was a terrible person and that I had to do whatever it took to make it up for my misdeeds. For my mistakes.

I don’t know why I felt it. There was no reason to; the only thing I did wrong was trust John, and I’ll make sure not to make that same mistake again. But he’s dead now, and I don’t think he would want to continue.

But, I do. I do want to continue, among all other things, it was the only chance I could prove myself. That I could do what was right, and that I could find out who did this, so that I could get answers. So that I could finally become someone… more.

Here I was. I had a choice once more: what would Jane do?

Hah, I know what she would do. She would rather forge her own path, not leave it up to anyone but her. To this, I smiled and faced the fox once more.

“I choose to continue.”

Jane opened her eyes as she stood in a field of fire. All around her, everything burned in a never-ending blazing pyre. For a moment, she was confused as she scratched her cheek. “Uh… am… am I in-”

“No, Jane Marcellus. You are not dead. Not yet anyway.”

A figure of flames appeared in front of Jane, nearly causing her to recoil as she gasped. “By Draco’s tail, what the -? Where am I? Who are you? What is going on here? What do you mean I’m not dead, I literally blew up into flames- also wait, how do you know my Name?”

“You are within my Realm: Sovers Ogno. In your tongue, it would be the Fulfilment of Fire. You have accepted the flames that burned your physical body away, freeing yourself from your mortal coil and releasing your spirit. I am the Harbinger of Freedom, the one who gathered you to give a choice.”

They stretched out their left hand, and a white purifying flame emerged from it.

“You may either allow your spirit to undergo a transformation, be given a new physical form, new memories, and a new purpose in the land of Galfania.”

Then she stretched out her right hand, and a golden flame erupted in her palm.

“Or you may be given your old form back, alongside the flames that burnt your body as you have accepted them into yourself, allowing you the power to free others as well.”

The two flames flashed like embers upon a fireplace. They were both good options… for anyone that wasn’t Jane, that is. Because for her, there really was only one choice that she could see going forward.

She stared at the golden flames. Freedom was what she yearned for, to continue and escape Galfania, that’s what she needed to do, and if she could get the power, even manage to go through Epithet’s defenses? Then all the more power to it, or rather, to her that is.

“The power to free others as well… Why am I being given this? Why did accepting them into me even do anything? I bet tons of people died knowing their fate and accepted it.”

“You are correct. Many have, but you desired it. Your desire for freedom has been heard, and you have embraced the freedom of those around you. A few have done so as well, those connected to you. They are also given this choice. Perhaps you shall see them once more, in one way or another.”

One way or another, huh. That was funny. Jane hoped they would all be sensible and choose the golden flames. They have to be. This was their chance to be together, to be free, and to strike back.

Jane gripped her hands into a fist, reaching out as she grasped the golden flames. A warm fire began to spread across her arm, traveling all throughout her body as she felt power like she had never felt before.

“Haha… this is gonna be good. Thanks, Harbinger of Freedom. I’ll take it from here.”

Matthias was carried over towards the icy fringes of Galfania by the spirits who laughed like pixies over the burning wreckage that was the expedition.

There were no more tears in his eyes; he ran out so long ago. He was tired; he wasn’t hurt in the slightest physically, but his mind felt so worn out over what had just happened.

‘It’s all… it’s all my fault…’

That was the only thought he had in his mind, replaying over and over again as he was dropped off by the cold grass shore. A familiar situation that he had been in so long ago.

For a few moments, he lay there, staring into the darkened skies that loomed overhead. There was barely any sunlight, and he could only tell that it was daytime because he remembered that the nights here were as black as the void with only faint shimmers of moonlight every so often.

He brought everyone here; this was his idea. This was his expedition. He desperately asked Godwin for help, and this is what happened. Now, the Professor is dead as well. Why… Why did this happen?

Why didn’t he die with the rest? Why was this his punishment? Why was the world so cruel? He just wanted answers? He just wanted to know why he was born here… why he was made.

Was this divine providence? Was this karma? What force was at play? Destiny? Fate? Who must he answer to, and why must they punish him like this? Why must he suffer like this?

Matthias stood up, staring at the water as he began to walk towards it. Maybe… just maybe, he should join them in death. It’s the least that he could do as penance for what had happened. If this was his fate, then he might as well do what he should have done from the start.

His life was meaningless now. There was nothing that he could offer, and nothing that he could do. There was no hope in such a life like his, especially when he knew the dangers of this place. He thought he was prepared. He thought he knew what to do. He thought he knew what was going to happen.

“I’m… I’m sorry everyone… I’m so sorry…”

He walked towards the sea, already ankle deep, as he laughed silently. The water was so cold, they might as well have been ice for all it was worth. It numbed his body, yet it couldn't numb the anguish. It couldn't numb the dread. It couldn't numb this aching feeling in his mind that pressed down against him like ocean pressure.

The deeper he went, the more his mind numbed. Everything was lost, nothing was gained, it was all for naught. Why… Why, why, why, why?

Over and over, like the water surrounding him, it was all-consuming, cold, and empty. Perhaps there was some solace in this. Perhaps, this was peace. Perhaps, this truly was what the world wanted. Perhaps, this was to be his reckoning for his mistakes, his failures. For what he has done, and what he has failed to do.

Whatever it was, Matthias closed his eyes, about to submerge his head under, but that was when he felt something pull him back and throw him onto the grass.

“Found another one!” He looked up groggily. Was it another person? They looked like one anyway, but instead of clothes, they had strange shadows across their body, moving erratically as they resembled armor.

“Good, gather as many survivors as possible, go before the damned Descendents find them!” A woman’s voice echoed in the distance, and from that one line alone, a small smile curled upon Matthias’s mouth.

Survivors? Perhaps…

Perhaps there was hope after all.