One Piece- I'm Not Interested in Devil Fruits

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The Den Den Mushi on the other end of the line put on an exaggerated, fully punk expression, its mouth opening and closing in a wild grin as it laughed:

"Hee-ha! So it's Giorno-BOY! Long time no see! Since you're calling with this Den Den Mushi, does that mean you're on Momoiro Island now?"

Before Liam could say anything, the nearby beefy yet glamorous Okama queens chimed in with exaggeratedly sweet voices:

"That's right! Giorno is super amazing now~!"

"Please don't talk about him like that," Robin said to the Okama.

From the Den Den Mushi's mouth came the sound of cannonfire, Bang!, followed by earth-shaking roars and sporadic cries. Then came Iva's booming laughter:

"Is that so? I figured as much! I saw the latest newspapers too, 'The powerful pirate who vanished and reappeared in the spotlight'… Hee-ha! You are truly in the limelight! Even the bounty on your had has jumped up to 200 million Belly! That's more than enough to be thrown into Impel Down! Hee-ha!"

The Okama clasped their orchid fingers, laughing with delight:

"Even Queen-sama might not be able to beat our beloved Giorno now~!"

Robin sighed helplessly. "For the last time, stop talking about him in that tone."

Liam looked at the Den Den Mushi's face, which resembled Ivankov's features, eyes wide, muttering, shouting mid-conversation...

He couldn't help but ask, "What the heck are you doing? It's been crazy noisy on your end this whole time."

"Oh, we're in the middle of a war," the Den Den Mushi replied flatly.

-- Huh?!! Koala's eyes widened in shock. This flamboyant Den Den Mushi suddenly turned serious when it mentioned war?!

"A war? Where the hell did you run off to?" Liam asked in confusion. "You just said you thought it was a Marine raid earlier... So this so-called war, it's not with the Marines?"

The Iva-faced Den Den Mushi once again stretched its mouth in Ivankov's iconic "Hee-ha" laugh. Its eyes shaded dramatically, and it spoke with uncharacteristic seriousness:

"Naturally, it has nothing to do with the Marines! This is a war of miracles! When the oppressed are pushed to the edge, there comes a moment when they can no longer endure! That's when you need to bring in the hormone of passion, HEY! Who told you to drop your weapon?!"

At the end, the Den Den Mushi seemed to turn its attention to someone else, clearly, Iva had turned to shout at someone nearby during the call.

With its Ivankov makeup, the Den Den Mushi's mouth flapped, delivering the Okama Queen's uniquely androgynous yet powerful voice, filled with fervor:

"What do you mean you have no strength left? Using womanhood as an excuse?!"

"Since when has gender been an obstacle?! Don't underestimate miracles!!"

"Hee-ha!! Fight! Resist! The moment you pick up a weapon, you're already walking the path to victory!"

...

The Den Den Mushi passionately relayed Iva's voice. In the grand hall of the City palace, the many Okama burst into laughter, hee-hee, ha-ha, some even dancing and clapping. It was unclear whether they were cheering for what the Den Den Mushi was saying, or simply applauding their Okama Queen's charisma...

Robin's relaxed expression grew more serious. Though the words coming through the Den Den Mushi were fragmented, her sharp mind could easily grasp the deeper meaning behind them.

The spark of revolution... was already beginning to spread.

That's what Liam was thinking too, though he had no intention of diving in.

His personal values weren't noble enough to devote himself to liberating people from another world… but when it came to stories of revolution and resistance, he naturally offered his blessings, and was happy to watch it unfold.

Liam originally wanted to ask Iva where the hell he was, causing such a huge commotion, but after thinking it over, he decided to let it go and got straight to the point:

"By the way, Iva, I didn't come to Kamabakka Kingdom looking for you. I came to find Dragon. Do you know how to contact him?"

"You're looking for Dragon?" Iva's usual playful hee-ha tone suddenly became more serious. "Sorry, I don't actually know where he is at the moment…"

Liam replied, "Well, just figure something out. I've got something really urgent to tell him. Or I can just tell you, and you pass it on when you get the chance."

"Wait a sec, "

The heavily made-up Den Den Mushi widened its eyes and muttered a few things. After a small click, Iva's voice came through again: "Dragon…"

Meanwhile, on a battlefield somewhere, outside a trench, cannonfire raged endlessly. The Okama Queen's large head peeked halfway out, both hands holding a Den Den Mushi.

In his left hand, the Den Den Mushi mimicked Liam's face, completely silent, waiting patiently.

In his right hand, the freshly grabbed Den Den Mushi had just changed from its default snail look to Dragon's usual stoic expression, emotionless as a coffin lid, sharp and serious.

Iva brought both Den Den Mushi close together, putting each one's receiver near the other's "mouth."

The one calling Dragon opened its eyes, the line connected. Iva spoke to it: "Dragon…"

"Iva. What's going on?" replied the Den Den Mushi, perfectly imitating Dragon's voice.

Holding one in each hand, Iva grinned toward the right-hand Den Den Mushi and said:

"I'm putting the Den Den Mushi I'm using to talk to you together with the one I just got a call on, it's Giorno, calling me through the Den Den Mushi I left on Okama Island! He said he's got something urgent. Hee-ha, so Dragon, you two go ahead and talk."

The right-hand Den Den Mushi gave a quiet "Hmm," and without any change in expression, spoke into the receiver of the other snail:

"I'm listening, Giorno."

Iva turned to look at the Den Den Mushi in his left hand.

"The thing is, Dragon, "

He quickly saw the Liam-mimicking Den Den Mushi, cold and emotionless just like Dragon, open its mouth calmly and speak:

"Your wife is about to die."

Hmm hmm...

Iva slowly nodded, realization dawning, Ahh, so that's it. Dragon's woman is dying. No wonder Giorno said it was urgent…

--EH, ??????, !!!!!!!

Dragon's woman?!?!

Iva was so shocked he literally bounced up out of the trench, twirling multiple full 360° spins in midair, before Pū tōng! crashing back into the pit, his eyeballs almost popping out of his skull.

DRAGON has a wife?! That alone was earth-shattering news! And it came out of Giorno's mouth, no less? That made it even more outrageous!

Even as Dragon's comrade, Iva had no clue what kind of past or personal life that mysterious guy had… But Giorno? He not only knew Dragon had a wife, he even knew she was dying?!

Liam's simple sentence was so packed with bombshell information that Okama Queen Iva couldn't digest it all at once.

Then he turned to the right-hand Den Den Mushi, watching Dragon's expressionless snail face. Even after hearing what Giorno said, there was barely any visible reaction, just a brief silence, and then a low voice responded:

"I understand."

...

So cold!

Back on Momoiro Island, Liam wasn't sure what to make of Dragon's reaction.

Was this guy actually worried, or was he just naturally that calm?

Liam picked up the receiver again and warned him:

"I'm telling you, big shot, Tulip's life can only be saved if you show up yourself…"

At last, a faint smile appeared on the otherwise stone-cold Den Den Mushi face.

With a slight sigh, Dragon's voice replied gently:

"I understand. Don't worry…"

(End Of This Chapter)