Possessive crush

For the past few days, there has been some kind of strange gulf between me and Felix. I have a confusion in my head, and he sees it, however, for now, he remains silent. He doesn't start the subject, as if he's afraid of the end. He pretends that everything is fine, although this is not the case at all.

The day of his birthday makes people around us happy. They walk around excitedly, looking forward to the official start of the party.

My guess is that Felix's parents organized a lavish birthday party for him at the club to pamper him a bit before all hell breaks loose.

I make no secret of the fact that I am panicking about this moment and the moment when Felix will realize that he should separate from me. It must come to that so that he is not a danger to me, to himself, and to the other people in his circle.

I force a smile on my face as my boyfriend walks up to me and puts his arm around my waist.

- Equally at twenty o'clock the party will begin. I hope that with this hour your mood will improve. I don't want something to spoil my special day. I've already put up with your gloomy expression for several days anyway.

I am surprised by the words he directs to me. They sound as if he is telling me to embrace myself and pretend that everything is fine.

- Of course, Felix. You are turning nineteens. That night, you have to party until you're winded," I reply.

He looks at me from under his furrowed brows.

- I don't know what's going on with you, but you won't spoil the day for me.

He lets go of me and walks away, adopting the mask of a smiling and happy boy as he approaches his friends.

After talking to his mother, I have been watching him closely for the past few days, and only now am I able to notice all the flaws he has. Blinded by love for him, I pretended not to notice anything or quickly forgot about it. Now I can't do that because I'm afraid. I love him more than life, but still, I can't stop thinking about my safety and the future that awaits me.

His mother is right: for many years I have been Felix's biggest obsession. His affection for me has long since turned into a morbid love.

- My beautiful friend! - Eve is hanging on my shoulder, smiling from ear to ear. She is happy that this night she can party and forget about her problems with Sebastian.

Until now, I had not told her the truth about the conversation with Felix's mother. I lied to her that the woman had urged me to break up with her son at all costs, claiming that she would never accept me.

I will confess the truth to her when I finally deal with my demons.

- It's a good thing that at least you can have all the fun today.

- Of course. I don't know if I'm still in a relationship, so let's say that Sebastian and I are separated, and so today I can do what I openly like. I won't feel any remorse.

- If you want to fight for this relationship, you should rather put the brakes on. If you're overheated, then just break up with him and don't drag it out any longer," I answer her, looking at one point. My gaze is aimed at Felix, who is laughing, talking to his friends.

- Your thinking has entirely changed. You are somehow strange," she growled at me, then walks away as her gaze finds Mike. - My soulmate! - she shouts to him, raising her hand in greeting.

It's true. I haven't been myself for the past few days, and that's because I've been in a serious muddle.

*

This evening, a forced smile on my face is my priority, so as not to spoil Felix's birthday. The room plays a birthday song, and I walk toward him with the cake, surrounded by a garland of friends, including fake ones, who just a few days ago called him a psycho. Not wanting such a captain on the team. Now they are getting on his ass, pretending that nothing like this happened before.

Me, I'm surprised that my boyfriend pounced on this and just invited them to his birthday party. Apparently, he would rather not let his social status be a downfall, especially since his popularity has been hanging in the balance lately.

I know that Felix's parents had a big part in making the case go away, and the boy who spread the news to people at school is now in serious trouble. So is his family. They turned the cat on its head and now, according to others, Felix is innocent.

They had to do this so that their son's future would not be ruined.

It is in situations like this that you can see how fake people can be. They pretend to be friends, and with one slip, they stick a knife in, only to pull it out a moment later to help heal their wounds. And even though they try, that wound reopens, because they can't completely sew it up.

- Make a wish," I say as I stop in front of Felix and look into his eyes. He smiles and closes his eyelids, then blows out the burning candles. Applause rings out around us, and he puts his hand in my hair.

- Thank you, my love. You are my wish," he declares.

I feel a strange, piercing pain in my chest. I guess that it is caused by stress, the future conversation that awaits us.

- The waiters will now cut the cake, so let everyone sit at the table. Later, we'll burn these delicacies on the dance floor," I address the people loud enough for everyone to hear me.

I hand over the cake to the staff, and then Felix grabs my hand. The DJ plays dance music, and a couple of guys from the team dance in front of the table, wanting to show off. My humor sucks, so I don't even pretend to be amused in any way. I even feel embarrassed by their behavior.

Led by Felix, I sit down with him at the main table, where Eve and Mike are pulling alcohol from underneath.

- How did you bring it in? Did your parents by any chance want a sober party? - I turn to my boyfriend.

- Why are you so tipsy today? It's not just us, but others have scrounged up alcohol to top up their juices. They got my permission," Felix replies to me.

- Fantastic. So no one can have a good time without alcohol?

- You certainly don't, looking at your facial expressions and behavior. You are a person who needs alcohol to make himself feel better," Felix bites back at me.

- Alcohol will certainly not make my mood improve," I say in an angry voice.

- Hey, are you going to argue now? Seriously? It's Felix's birthday. We came here to have fun," Eve speaks up. - What's the matter with you, Selena? You've been acting strangely lately. You are not yourself.

- This is the first time I'll admit you're right," mutters my boyfriend.

- Never mind. If you like, drink even to unconsciousness.

The waitress hands us plates of cake, and in my nerves I eat it at such a pace that the other three looks bewildered.

- I think you lacked blood sugar, that's why you were so bitter," Mike turns to me in an amused voice.

- I'm just loading up on sugar, because my future doesn't promise to be sweet.

Felix crinkles his eyebrows, looking furious.

- Seriously, what's wrong with you? Do you purposely want to spoil the day for me? If so, bravo, you managed to do it," he says, throwing his fork against the table. He gets up from the table, drawing the attention of the guests. I watch him until he disappears from my sight.

- Actually, you behave very strangely towards him, Selena. Is it because of his parents? You have been like this since meeting his mother. Is the reason because they want you to leave their son?

I pierce my friend with my eyes, surreptitiously glancing at Mike.

- You were supposed to keep it to yourself. Now he will spill everything to Felix. You can't tell anything in secret," I say in an angry voice, also getting up from the table. I go to the bathroom, feeling my cheeks burning with anger. However, before I get inside, I am grabbed by Felix. He presses me against the wall, looking at me penetratingly. I turn my face to the side, and then he forcefully forces me to look into his eyes.

- What are you doing, Selena? You made me sick of this birthday.

- I show you how you behave towards me occasionally.

- Pardon?

I see that his eyes are changing. They are not docile as they always were, and they look like the eyes of the devil. They always take this form when he is angry.

- Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. It's over. I'm no longer going to pretend that everything is fine. My love for you will no longer make your behavior invisible to me.

- What are you talking about?

- What I am saying is that you are sick, and I am the main reason for your problem. You are dangerous both to me and to yourself. We can't be together, that's the only way your condition will improve.

- Are you crazy! - Unsurprisingly, he yells at me. He is so furious that I notice a vein on his neck. I look at him with terrified eyes, fearing what our conversation might turn into.

- It is not me who is crazy but you, Felix. People suffering from paranoid disorders do not see the issue in themselves, but in others. - His face now expresses rage as well as fear. - Since I appeared in your life again, you have become mentally unbalanced.

His breathing accelerates. Suddenly, he starts laughing like a madman, but his eyes are covered with tears, and drops run down his cheeks. He looks at me in disbelief, and I stand motionless, afraid to even move.

- Do you want to get rid of me? This is your way to get rid of me from your life? Are you already bored with me? Have you fallen out of love?

- No, Felix. Don't you understand what I'm talking to you about?

- No way! - yells at me, and my heart stops with fear. - I will never let you go. You are mine, and you will be with me forever. Remember that. - He warns me, jabbing his finger in front of my face. He looks into my eyes with such seriousness that I am scared as hell. - If you run away from me, I will always find you. If you are not with me, I will kill you and myself. No one else will touch you. You'd better think it over, Selena. - Before he leaves, he slams his hand against the wall. He sends me a warning look, and I get legs like cotton wool. I slide to the floor, with frightened eyes looking at one point.

Only now I am facing hell. I have opened gates from which I will not soon escape.