[R-18] Naruto: Fucking My students

He groaned, slurped some instant ramen and groaned…again.

Leaving Shadow Clones at places had become a nasty habit of his, years of training and paranoia made him keep an extra copy of himself behind to see if someone was listening in on him –under the guise of a highly, chakra saturated Henge. Hearing the girl – someone he actually remembered, much to his own surprise – become so glad at seeing him return was something he did not expect. Naruto was ANBU, a lethal weapon, a Jinchūriki but emotionless he was not.

Emotions molded a person. Every nameless ROOT agent was someone at one point; pain, loss, suffering had brought them to Danzo's doorsteps or made the War Hawk search for broken creatures of the age. It was a two-way street. Danzo himself was a person who acted on his emotions, however most of emotions stemmed from gaining power and creating a highly militarized Konoha –protecting it by any means necessary. Not a bad goal, but this would cause problems later and the Uchiha Clan Massacre was an example of that. Danzo's distrust towards the red-eyed clan and overprotective ferocity to keep Konoha intact led to that. Emotions ruled Danzo, no matter how much he denied it.

Naruto sighed. He honestly didn't expect someone, or anyone, from his previous, ignorant life to remember him. He was happy being a ghost, a nameless everyman who blended in perfectly, didn't garner attention. Now, the Hyuga heiress liked him? The former ANBU had no choice but to unseal his "Emergency State of Mind Ramen" and gobble away. It was no Ichiraku's, but all forms of ramen helped. His comfort food was running out too.

The door to the roof opened with a creak and in walked the three kunoichi –each one prettier than the other. Heck, they were outright beautiful. He had discreetly checked them out for twenty minutes when he was in the classroom. He may not have been a super lecher like Jiraiya, but he appreciated the female body. It's what separated the perverts from the connoisseurs.

Sakura with her long, pink hair and emerald eyes. Granted she was lacking in the chest department compared to the others, but her ass made up for it. Ino, the gorgeous blonde with her turquoise eyes and toned figure – if the exposed midriff was anything to go by – looked drop dead sexy. Finally, the lavender-eyed Hinata who, he knew for a fact had the most well developed figure among them. Hyuga women were naturally busty and curvy; it was almost unfair to everyone else.

Despite all their bodacious curves, exotic features and gorgeous faces…he would not be a pushover. If he was going to be a jōnin sensei, the blond was going to be one that was unbiased and fair to them all. Naruto did take his duties a bit seriously, it wasn't his fault most missions were easy.

Well, they have to pass my test first. He thought finishing the last of the noodles. Before he could start, one of his – possible – future genin spoke.

"Are you really our jōnin sensei?" Sakura asked skeptically.

She'd been eyeing him for a full minute, as he disgustingly, devoured ramen from a seemingly bottomless cup. Something just didn't make sense to the pinkette, the most prominent being his age. Early graduations were forbidden since…since her poor Sasuke-kun's clan's extinction.

"Yesh," Naruto replied, mouth full of food as Ino and Sakura repulsed at his action. He had a lot of work to do. Hinata on the other hand merely poked her fingers. Cute.

"What did you call us up here for?" Ino spoke, still a bit angry how this entire day was going. And this guy had the gall to casually eat ramen like that in front of them? While she was on a diet?

"Orientation," Naruto explained and received blank looks from all three. Strange. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, her two teammates nodding at her question.

"Introduce yourselves." Naruto said. They were still staring at him awaiting further instructions. Reasons like this made him hate the academy; too much hand-holding and not even the lewd version of it. "You know likes, dislikes, hobbies. Your dreams for the future…and other things I might need to know."

"U-Um," Hinata began, focusing on her crush – her only crush ever! "Maybe if you could show us a way to say it, sensei."

Naruto internally sighed. The girl's genuine emotion was getting to him, this was a bad thing. He was a wall, he had no weaknesses save when people close to him were concerned. The man formerly known as Ghost wasn't so heartless as to discard her emotions as worthless. Plus, she had that cute girl-next-door vibe. Not to mention she was one of the few who appeared a bit damn courteous when he was a kid. Nothing to go crazy over, but he wouldn't just forget that small bit of kindness.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki," he started, rubbing his chin in thought. "I like ramen and experimental fūinjutsu. I'm not particularly fond of people trying to stab me and a few unmentionable others. As for my hobbies, well…I don't have many. Dreams huh…"

The three kunoichi waited for his final words, so far they learned very little; Sakura wasn't that impressed, Ino was mildly interested and Hinata's curiosity was peaking.

"I never really thought about it," Naruto hummed for a second. Then he smiled…viciously. The three kunoichi felt a sudden weight being thrust upon them, the wind shrieked, their throats dried and a sense of hopelessness stemmed in them. He chuckled. The sound was disturbing to their ears. "But, I will do one little thing. I'll achieve it by any means necessary."

Naruto realized his killing intent was a bit too much for them and slowly lifted it before they calmed down, though their palms were sweaty, knees weak and shoulders heavy. I feel like I heard that somewhere before.

"Well," he said, trying to sound a bit too cheerful –it failed. They were still looking at him, awkwardly and fearfully. "Now that you know how to do it, introduce yourselves." They still weren't speaking up and Naruto had half a mind to fail them. If they were this shook by simple killing intent (not even a full blast from him) then they would be liabilities. He didn't need stick figures and baby dolls in his team –as much as he liked the latter.

"I'm running out of time," Naruto snapped his fingers. "If you don't talk, I'm demoting you all."

"You can't do that!" Ino spoke up loudly, much to his relief.

"I can, want to watch me?" Naruto said goading her, making her temper flare so the others would speak up.

"Um, I'll go first," Hinata started. As soon as the blue focused on her, pale cheeks became pink. "My n-name is Hinata Hyuga. I like my younger sister, father and…" she shot her sensei a small glance, "I dislike a few things about my clan. My hobby is pressing flowers, and my dream is…" she breathed in a bit, mustering courage. "My dream is to unite the Hyuga…all of them."

While both Ino and Sakura shot her a raised eyebrow and a confused look, Naruto's eye widened for a moment. "Well," he began, smiling a bit. "That's an admirable dream."

"T-Thank you," she blushed red to her hair, stammering at how cute (read: hot) he looked when smiling.

"Hinata, what is he talking about?" Sakura asked. She was honestly confused by the hidden message their sensei got. She was no gossip queen, unlike a certain piggy, but this was something piquing her curiosity.

"Something she'll tell you about later," Naruto cut in and looked at the Kunoichi of the Year. Her form, along with Yamanaka, was a bit too slender both by his personal preference and active kunoichi status. Muscle mass was important, they didn't need to be walking buffed-up butches but strength was necessary. "Why don't you go next, Pinkie? You seem loquacious."

Sakura's jaded eyes hardened and Ino's snort only made it worse. Calming her temper down and remembering her goal Sakura began. "My name is Sakura Haruno and my likes are," she smiled. "Well the person I like is…" she giggled. "My hobbies are…" she blushed. "My dreams are…" she squealed.

Naruto, for his part, tried to comprehend as to just what the fuck was going on. Dare I ask? "So," he drawled out the word, "your dislikes?"

"Ino-pig!" The declaration was loud and bold and fearless. Naruto looked between the Yamanaka and the pinkette who were glaring daggers at each other.

I don't get paid enough for this shit. All of a sudden, walking into Kiri's civil war feels like a better option. Naruto tried not to sigh as Hinata was breaking the two away from each other, that girl was far too innocent. I have a lot of work on my hands.

"You're the only one left," Naruto said looking at Ino. "Let's get to hear a bit about you."

Ino was still pissed, glaring at Sakura and scowling less. "I'm Ino Yamanaka," the blond began. "I like unique flowers, a certain boy," she blushed, Sakura glared. "And, shopping too – which also happens to be my favorite hobby. I dislike people who spit on friendships and slackers and gluttons. As for my dreams, well I'm going to be the next head of the Yamanaka and help Sasuke-kun restore his clan!"

Yeah, I'm done with this shit. Naruto closed his eyes in disappointment. He'd read about how Ino and Sakura were 'fangirls' of Sasuke Uchiha, every batch had that one badass rookie who got girls to flock to him. But this…this was unhealthy. The former ANBU felt bad for the Uchiha. They probably didn't even understand how much shit the boy had gone through in one night, and they think love could supposedly 'fix' him? So, far Hinata was the only one who seemed decent but her lack of confidence and reluctance to use force hampered her entire skillset.

Long story short, his team was fucked and he understood why the Hokage chose him instead of Kurenai –since she honestly seemed like a better fit but was probably, most likely, kinder than him. Naruto resealed the cup and cleared his throat.

"That was insightful," he said, voice filled with boredom. "Now, before you all leave, give me your headbands."

"What?" All three teens said at the same time.

"I wasn't asking," he reassured them. "Give me your headbands…now." It only took a few seconds as Hinata came forward, shaking a bit, handing him the three hitai-ate as he held one of them up. "Do you know what this is? What this means? What this represents?"

"Duh," Ino said confidently. "It means we're shinobi, or kunoichi in this case."

"True. But you're not kunoichi right now…well not until you pass the test." He said waiting for a surprise and on queue he heard two collected shouts of disbelief. "You heard me."

"But we passed the Academy!" Sakura nearly shouted. "I thought that was the test."

"Sorry, but no." Naruto continued. "The Academy is just a screen for weeding out potential shinobi and kunoichi –of course the standards have considerably dropped. The test tomorrow at Training Ground Six will be your real test. Make sure to be there at five the morning, a minute late and I'll be sending all three of you back to the Academy. Clan and council be damned."

He left no room for argument and they nodded, albeit hesitantly. Ino then raised her hand, getting a nod. "Anything else, sensei?"

"That's probably the smartest thing I've heard today," Naruto dryly noting the poison in that word. "Yes there is. I suggest none of you have breakfast."

"U-um, why?" Hinata asked getting a stare. "H-Having a full meal gives us the proper stamina."

"True, though I'm not sure if they know what a full meal is," Naruto jabbed his thumb at the two rivals. How he loved getting under peoples' skin. "I highly suggest you don't have breakfast because," he chucked, "you'll be puking it all out."

He let the words hang in the air before standing up on the railing. "Tomorrow. Training Ground Six. Five O'clock." Naruto took a step back and fell as the three women shrieked, running forward. Only they found nothing as they looked down.

"That jerk!" Sakura said turning around. "Can't believe he scared us like that."

"M-Maybe we should all head out, now?" Hinata suggested and saw the others nod. Sakura was the first to leave. As Ino was about to leave, Hinata spoke up. "E-Excuse me, Ino?"

"Yeah."

"Can I…ask you a question?"

"Sure." Ino shrugged. She didn't have any secrets to hide, save a few.

"You mentioned you don't like people who spit on friendship," the Hyuga nervously pointed out. "I couldn't help but notice how you looked at Sakura. Did-"

"It's something between me and her," Ino clarified. "I'll tell you about it one day, but not today. I need to go and prepare for tomorrow's test. Maybe Dad will know something." The blond left, remembering a certain day in her life, a day when a pretty flower was discarded. It still hurt a bit, even now.

Hinata looked around and then she too left, not aware someone was sitting on top of the water tank watching it all unfold. The man opened up the orange book, resuming his journey from page 38.

"I see you finally learned something from me, Naruto," the masked man said as the blond, silently, landed on the tank beside him. "You're going to do the same thing I'm doing aren't you?"

"Sort of," Naruto sat down. "Though, I'll put my own take on it."

"The last time you said that was when we faced the Stone Unit," Kakashi mentioned. "You went crazy that day."

"Crazy isn't the word I'd use," the blond corrected. "Besides, how was I supposed to know they had a Jinchūriki with them? Glad he saw the light that day."

"'Light'," the Copy Ninja laughed. "Yeah, we all saw the 'Light' that day."

"So, how's Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Just like you'd expect."

The nerve of that guy!

Who did he think he was?